SGT CH225

[Irreparable.]

[Guilt beyond pardon.]

[Submerged in remorse and self-reproach.]

[He has lost every pillar to go on living.]

[Only death remains.]

An icon of a face resting a chin upon a hand and sighing appeared across the translator’s display screen.

[Alright, it is time for some heart-to-heart talk—literally.]

Hearing that X was bent on seeking death, a deafening roar detonated inside Mu Si’s brain, his emotional composure disintegrating entirely.

“Seeking death?! On what grounds do you get to die?! On what grounds do you get to die so easily?!”

Clamping his fingers around X’s jaw, Mu Si forced his head up, his grip so fierce his knuckles turned white.

Gritting his teeth, he snarled viciously:

“I forbid it! I do not permit you to die! You must stay alive to be tormented by me!”

The mechanical orb translated:

[He has hated you for fourteen years, yet he has loved you for even longer. He wants to keep you by his side forever; he wants you to endure his love and hatred alive.]

“Si Si…”

Blurry tears filled X’s vision, falling in sheer despair.

[He has no face left to meet you.]

Mu Si could clearly read the established intent to die from X’s eyes.

Even when imprisoned inside the disciplinary chamber for three months, X had never yielded, keeping his spine ramrod straight throughout.

Yet now, his eyes were devoid of life, clouded over with gray despair and deathly stillness. Even his posture betrayed a helpless, defeated slouch, as though the pillar that had once held up his entire existence had caved in completely.

He would never permit X to abandon him and leave ever again.

Mu Si’s mind spun at lightning speed, calculating countermeasures.

His gaze fell upon the inhibitor banded around X’s neck, and he reached out abruptly, tugging hard against it.

“What is this?!”

Yanking the inhibitor collar encircling X’s throat, he interrogated him harshly.

Translator: [He wants you to recognize your identity: you belong to him, and only he has the authority to decide your life.]

X froze for a second. Meeting Mu Si’s intensely stubborn gaze, he answered:

“An inhibitor.”

[His head is completely hollow, with nothing inside.]

Translator: [He has lost all cognitive processing capacity.]

Pressing his lips together, Mu Si stared intently at X, his voice dropping into a heavy, dark register:

“An inhibitor used by a male to discipline his household’s females! I am your Male Master, you are my female, and you are my property! Only I have the right to dictate your destiny!”

“Now, go lie on the bed! Both you and the insect egg in your belly need recuperation!”

Mu Si commanded.

Translator: [Since you have no brain, I shall decide everything on your behalf.]

[Put aside those chaotic thoughts and get a quiet night’s sleep; I will watch over you.]

Guided by Mu Si, X lay down upon the bed.

When his hand touched his lower abdomen, profound panic and shame welled from the depths of his heart.

His cub, and also the little male’s cub.

He had believed that he finally had a child with whom he could depend upon each other for life.

Yet this cub was conceived from violating the little male by force, serving as living testimony to his unforgivable sins.

In sheer despair, X closed his eyes.

Standing beside the bed, Mu Si stared down at him for a moment.

Suddenly, he swung a leg over, straddling atop his frame, and began stripping his clothes away.

X had only been wearing a thin, loose shirt provided by Mu Si; with a gentle tug, it was pulled wide open.

Opening his eyes in astonishment, X looked at Mu Si in sheer panic, reaching up instinctively to stop him.

Mu Si caught his wrists.

Clack. Cold metal handcuffs locked around his wrists.

Fastening the cuffs securely to the bedframe, Mu Si cast a frosty, downward gaze upon him.

“I am enjoying my own female; you hold no authority to refuse.”

Hovering to the side, the translation orb explained with serene composure:

[Evidently, he wants to bleep you—to bleep you so hard you have zero leisure left to overthink nonsense.]

“No, Si Si, we cannot go on like this…”

X panicked, struggling desperately to persuade Mu Si to stop.

Translation orb: [He cannot accept sleeping with the cub he raised; he cannot cross that psychological threshold in his heart.]

[He feels guilty toward you, believing he committed an atrocious sin against you and wounded you to the bone. He cannot permit this sin and injury to perpetuate any longer.]

“Heh.” Mu Si scoffed with a cold sneer, offering no reply while his hands pressed forward unhindered.

Seeing this, the translation orb concluded simply:

[He must bleep you at all costs.]

X had originally wanted to push him away and talk him out of it, yet he could never truly deny Mu Si anything. Even the hands that dared only cling to fabric gradually conceded ground during the tussle, ultimately pulled open and thoroughly filled. X lost all willpower to resist.

Deprived of voice and soul, battered into scattered pieces under the onslaught, he let slip vocalizations that should never have belonged to him.

Floating nearby, the translation orb provided commentary for Mu Si’s actions:

[He will fuck all of X’s hidden, deathly numb soul back to life, forcing it all out into the open; he excels at this.]

“Get lost!” Mu Si snarled, past his limit of endurance.

[Oh, understood.]

Showing a rare flash of timidity, the translator tucked its rounded body backward into the shadows.

Over the days that followed, Mu Si reduced X’s existence down to merely gestational nutritional meals and male pheromones.

At first, X would plead with a trembling voice, putting up a feeble yet determined resistance to guard his moral baseline.

Later, he appeared resigned to his fate, lying flat like a tattered ragdoll to be used at will, refusing to utter a sound or look him in the eye.

Only when Mu Si called his name would he show a reaction.

Gradually, Mu Si took pleasure in calling him “X-gege” in bed, watching his body twitch uncontrollably, watching him drown in overwhelming shame.

Only during those fleeting moments did X appear truly alive.

During an intermission, Mu Si lay in X’s embrace, resting against his chest, his palm brushing over the subtle curve of his belly, speaking abruptly:

“Starting tomorrow, report for duty at the military district.”

Translator: [Finding you something to do so you don’t suffocate yourself to death in here.]

Hearing his inner thoughts laid bare, Mu Si pressed his lips thin, letting out a cold snort as he added:

“You are my Female Monarch; it is only proper that you earn money to support me.”

[He does not lack that meager officer’s salary in the slightest, but that is what X ought to do. Being provided for by X sounds quite nice.]

Infuriated, Mu Si glared daggers at the translation ball hovering in midair.

X fell silent for a spell before voicing his agreement:

“Alright.”

[He is willing to do it—whether to make the little male happy, to earn an opportunity to look after the little male, or to make his own miserable life somewhat useful.]

[The title of Female Monarch is far too heavy and complicated for him.]

[It is a status that allows him to remain by the little male’s side to serve him with full legitimacy, the finest status, yet an unattainable dream beyond his reach.]

[A status that should never belong to him.]

[He hopes the little male can have his own females—real females.]

[He is willing to demote himself voluntarily to a female consort or female slave; the little male deserves to possess females he genuinely loves, rather than squandering his youth and vigor on him.]

Listening to this long, winding translation, Mu Si offered a single syllable in response:

“Heh.”

The translator paused for a moment, then turned to say to X:

[He only wants to bleep you.]

Simple and brutally direct.

In an instant, X’s expression turned extraordinarily vivid—flitting through pale, green, and red, parting his lips as if to speak, yet choking on every word.

Mu Si paid zero heed to X’s reaction, going straight to his cifu to transfer X’s personnel dossier to White Night Star.

Uneasy about X’s mental stability, he feared X might run off to kill himself the moment he turned his back.

On his first day reporting for duty, Mu Si accompanied him to the White Night Star military division.

When his shift ended, he boarded the exact same shuttle with him.

X sat uncomfortably inside the shuttle, perched stiffly upon the sofa across from the Prince.

Only when the craft touched down before a familiar building did he realize the destination the Prince had programmed was not the Prince’s estate, but his former residence on the Capital Star.

“Your Highness?” X looked across at the Prince in bewilderment.

[He doesn’t understand why you brought him here, and is surprised that you know where he lives.]

Lifting his chin slightly, Mu Si wore an aloof, haughty demeanor.

Flicking away nonexistent dust from his cuff, he rose with poised grace before casting a sideways glance at X.

Wearing an expression brimming with pride and feigned distaste, he said:

“Pack up whatever you need and take it with you.”

[From now on, you can only live inside the Prince’s estate—in our home.]

Understanding dawned on X, and he stepped upstairs to pack.

Following behind, Mu Si entered the residence, surveying the interior decor.

X’s home was cold, stark, and orderly like a showroom, utterly devoid of the warmth of living bugs.

Packing went swiftly; taking only the clothes in the wardrobe and his military and imperial medals of honor, he could find nothing else to gather.

Emerging from the master bedroom, X suddenly halted before a closed door.

Pausing, he glanced at Mu Si, then at the sealed door, appearing hesitant.

Not understanding what he was lingering over, Mu Si strode straight past and pushed the door open.

An explosion of rich, vibrant colors rushed into view, presenting a style polar opposite to the rest of the cold home, brimming with playful, childish innocence.

Mu Si froze on the spot, his hand remaining poised in the motion of pushing the door open.

Plush toys, wind chimes, picture books, soft pink cartoon curtains and bedding, a plush long-pile rug, countless toys, clothes, and shoes for a young cub, and a desk covered in jars packed to the brim with psychic source crystals…

Clearly a room prepared for a young cub.

A little male cub.

Every single item, every solitary corner of the chamber, was saturated with the decorator’s boundless love.

Mu Si took half a step back instinctively, his gaze sweeping across the room laced with sheer panic.

As though this were not a cozy, whimsical sanctuary, but an abyss of inescapable damnation.

“…Si Si?”

Supporting him, X called out with deep worry.

Aside from the initial disorientation when learning Mu Si’s identity, X had maintained strict decorum and distance, addressing him as “Your Imperial Highness the Prince.”

At this very moment, standing before this room meticulously decorated for the little male, that name held in his heart for over a decade slipped out unbidden.

Startled, Mu Si flung his hand away.

Stumbling back two steps, he whirled around in sheer, panicked distress to interrogate X:

“What is this?!”

[The impact of this room is far too colossal, shattering his reality, causing the hatred and convictions he held onto for so many years to totter on the brink of collapse.]

“Si Si… what is wrong?”

X moved to steady him, but the suspicion and flustered panic in Mu Si’s eyes were far too glaring, dripping with palpable rejection and defense, keeping him from drawing close.

“What… is… this?!”

Mu Si pointed at the room packed to the ceiling with belongings, demanding an answer syllable by syllable.

[Answer quickly, answer quickly!]

The little translation orb urged from the side.

[If you fail to answer this question properly, it’s all over!]

“The room I prepared for you…”

Looking at the adult male before him clad in noble imperial attire, X’s voice dropped to a soft murmur.

“Though… it is no longer needed…”

Hearing this, the translator knew it had to take the stage:

[A room for a young cub. He spent fourteen years collecting and arranging everything here bit by bit, carrying endless yearning, boundless love, his deepest agony, and his sole hope.]

[He looked forward to the day he would find his little male, reunite with him, and bring him home. This was the singular conviction and driving force that sustained his survival across all these years.]

[Now, the little male he longed for day and night stands before him, right in front of this room, yet all has changed beyond recognition.]

[Their relationship can never revert to the past.]

[He became the criminal bug who dealt the deepest wound to his little male.]

[He is doomed to live out his days in agony and remorse; his sins can never be washed clean, and his debt can never be repaid.]

[Just as he has forever forfeited the right to stand before the little male and speak of his yearning and love.]

Mu Si stared unblinkingly at X, not letting a single flicker of his expression slip past.

“Speak,” Mu Si insisted. “I want you to tell me with your own mouth.”

[He is waiting for an explanation—an explanation he has waited for amidst suffering for fourteen long years.]

[—Why did you abandon him?]

After finishing, an icon wiping sweat surfaced on the translator’s screen.

Thinking to itself: I can only help you this far. If this doesn’t work, you two might as well be buried in the same grave.

X spoke with desperate urgency:

“Si Si, I never abandoned you! How could I ever abandon you?!”

Heaving a sigh of relief, the translator turned to report to Mu Si:

[It’s true, every word is true!]

Yet Mu Si merely stared fixedly at X, as if trying to pry something from his face, regardless of whether it was truth or falsehood.

Tentatively, X reached out wanting to hold his hand, silently seeking his permission.

Glancing at the outstretched hand, Mu Si did not grant it, uttering only in a cold, heavy voice:

“You left me behind.”

The translator said hurriedly to X:

[You departed right at the critical juncture of his secondary awakening; he couldn’t find you, and he was terrified. He thought you had discarded him, drowning in sorrow, agony, and rage, his mental stability shattered by a cascade of extreme trauma, leading to the failure of his secondary awakening.]

X felt as though a blade were twisting inside his heart.

There was no need to verify the truth of the mechanical orb’s words; Mu Si’s demeanor laid everything bare.

Terror, agony, heartbreak…

Secondary awakening failure…

He could scarcely imagine all of that befalling the young little male—how had he ever managed to endure it?

How utterly terrified and hopeless must he have been?

X’s outstretched hand fell limp at his side.

“I wanted to bring back psychic source crystals to ease your pain…”

Yet his departure had ultimately caused Mu Si’s awakening to fail, leading to over a decade of crushing torment.

“I bought you a shuttle ticket. I thought I would make it back in time to bring you the source crystals, help you awaken smoothly, put you aboard the transport, and let you leave the Dark Star Region before the war broke out.”

Yet securing the source crystals had devoured too much time; the Zerg military advanced too quickly, and the war erupted in an instant.

By the time he rushed back, everything was already too late.

[It’s true, everything he says is completely true!]

Rejoicing that X had finally grown a mouth, the translator reported to Mu Si with boundless delight.

“Source crystals… a ticket?”

A flicker of shock and calculation darted across Mu Si’s eyes.

Knowing there were things X would never voice voluntarily, the translator gave an extra push:

[Deep in the mines of the Dark Star Region, a horde of psychic star beasts guarded the source crystals. He paid the price of half his mental realm collapsing to drag the source crystals out from their assault!]

[The ticket as well—he used his entire life savings to purchase a single ticket to leave the Dark Star Region, meant entirely for you.]

[When he returned to the forest and discovered their home leveled by artillery, and that you were gone, his mind shattered completely. He threw the ticket away; he never went to the spaceport, and never boarded the transport.]

[Later, relying solely on the stubborn belief that you were still alive somewhere in the universe, sustained by the obsession of finding you, did he barely cling to life.]

[Enlisting in the Zerg army and entering the military was also solely to search for you more effectively.]

[Throughout all these years, he has been searching for you without resting for a single day.]

Hearing about the star beasts and the collapse of half his mental realm, Mu Si could no longer hold his composure.

He knew how dreadful X’s mental condition truly was.

He also knew X had never boarded that transport.

And he knew even better that X had thrown himself continuously into the bloodiest battlefields over the years, taking on missions of unimaginable peril.

“X, have you lost your mind?! Why…”

Mu Si threw himself straight into X’s arms, tears streaming down his face, gritting his teeth in furious grief.

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this?!”

“Why did you go and do all those things?!”

[Because of love.]

The translator knew the Prince only wanted to hear it directly from X’s lips.

And so, turning to X, it urged:

[Alright, hurry up! Right now, a single ‘I love you’ will grant you a Happy Ending!]

It saw the dawn of victory breaking.

Yet pressing his lips firmly shut, X merely held the weeping Prince silently in his arms, brushing away his tears and coaxing him in a low, gentle whisper—yet never justifying himself, and never mentioning a word of love.

Witnessing this scene, the translator caught on to his reasoning, nearly spitting blood from sheer frustration:

[You wooden gourd with a sawed-off mouth!!!]

[You’re going to be the death of me!]

Letting out a heavy sigh, the translator translated on his behalf one final time:

[He feels that he has forever lost the qualification to speak of love to you…]