SGT CH22

The Prince’s Diary

【1】

The first day I stepped out of the medical pod, I was bound to a bizarre livestream system.

It said I would die at X’s hands a month later. How could that be possible?

Yet X truly was pregnant.

The expression with which he looked at me was exceedingly strange, difficult to put into words…

It wasn’t hatred, nor was it indifference; it was a look I couldn’t decipher.

Perhaps even X himself hadn’t realized just how peculiar his gaze was.

Like a drowning bug staring at a piece of driftwood.

Tenfold for every one lost: tenfold the pheromones were required to barter a sliver of survival for the insect egg.

He pleaded with me.

I had originally intended to mock him with a few barbed words, yet when vicious retorts reached the tip of my tongue and met his gaze, not a single word could spill out.

I agreed.

Inside that small underground room where I had lived for years, I took him.

He dipped his waist, holding the posture to receive pheromones, yet his frame was stiff to the extreme, daring not look at me at all.

I let out a cold snort, letting a touch of displeasure show; his soft, trembling flesh panicked in frantic submission, pleasing me to the utmost.

In the end, on that first night, I did not direct a single harsh word at him.

【2】

He stayed quietly inside that small underground room, appearing to treat it as his home.

Complex emotions churned in my chest.

In the end, I tacitly permitted him to remain there.

That place of my deepest agony, deepest hatred, and deepest attachment.

【3】

Occasionally, I would deliberately torment him.

Yet his tolerance toward me was practically boundless.

No matter how I treated him, he accepted everything without a shred of resentment.

Was it for the sake of that insect egg?

An egg of his own flesh and blood, a cub he truly cared for.

I felt a slight trace of jealousy.

Yet whenever he looked at me, I felt it wasn’t merely because of the egg.

He cared about me, even my slightest shift in mood.

He would carefully and gingerly coax me to be happy.

There were only so many ways a female could coax a male.

Yet undeniably, when his lips and tongue enveloped me, all my foul moods vanished into thin air.

【4】

He mended that slightly worn spider plushie for me.

His needlework was as dreadful as ever, the stitching crooked and uneven like a monstrous spider, yet sewn densely and meticulously, not letting a single wisp of cotton leak out.

He washed the plushie spotless with great care, rubbing the stitched seams until they softened so I could hold it comfortably in my sleep.

【5】

Without me realizing it, he took over countless daily routines in my life.

Even dressing me and combing my hair.

Like a female attending to his male.

And like a cifu caring for his cub.

He had always known how to take care of someone.

If he set his heart to it.

【6】

The Scum Gong Value dropped rapidly.

From the moment I brought X out of the disciplinary chamber, it dropped by more than half.

Thereafter, it continued to plummet at an astonishing speed.

Until it gradually stabilized at an extraordinarily low number.

【7】

X could not endure me vanishing from his sight for prolonged periods.

Every time I was gone for slightly too long, he would grow exceptionally restless and panicked.

Even leaving pheromones behind for him was useless.

Only when I reappeared before his eyes would he truly settle into calm.

He was attached to me, or perhaps far more than merely attached.

He was terrified that I might meet with an accident or get hurt.

In his eyes, I seemed exceedingly fragile, easily shattered like porcelain.

【8】

His attitude toward me shifted far too quickly.

From gouging out my heart on the shuttle back then, to pampering and indulging me in every conceivable way now, the transformation was so drastic it was as though he had become a completely different person.

Yet he was undeniably X.

Could it truly be the influence of pregnancy pheromones?

Capable of causing a female to reverse his lifelong nature, bowing his head before a male he once abhorred, and even… falling in love with that male.

Terrifying.

【9】

He had another nightmare.

His brows knit tight, his breathing ragged, calling out “Si Si” one moment and “Your Highness” the next, looking in agonizing pain.

Yet when I woke him, he remembered nothing of it.

He merely wrapped his arms around me by pure instinct, refusing to let go, his body shivering violently with lingering terror and dread.

【10】

I performed a mental soothing session on him.

Inside his mental realm, I discovered something… strange.

A memory shrouded in dense fog.

Within that memory, I witnessed our past in the Dark Star Region.

I watched him risk everything to retrieve a source crystal for me, damaging his mental realm.

I watched him return to the forest, confronting that colossal crater blasted by artillery fire, his sanity collapsing entirely.

I watched him cling stubbornly to a sliver of hope, joining the Zerg military, charging into the most perilous frontlines, rising through military merits, and… searching for me for fourteen years without breaking for a single day.

Yet everything unfolded through such cruel misunderstandings.

Aboard that shuttle after the chaotic entanglement, he mistook me for the male who had drugged him, striking at me in blind fury and the despair of seeking justice in an unfair world.

Ending with his wings severed by my hands, thrown into the disciplinary chamber.

Inside that dark disciplinary chamber, because I delayed appearing, the insect egg in his womb lost all vital signs.

X broke through to SS-grade amidst agony and despair.

When I finally reappeared… I died at his hands.

X’s mental realm collapsed entirely as well.

Yet at the final moment, the Zerg Emperor—my xiongfu—forcibly shored up his mental realm, throwing him into the detention center to await trial.

I saw my grieving, furious cifu; I saw my xiongfu imparting memories to him.

And I saw… my own memories.

That memory had been preserved within X’s mind, until now, entering my consciousness, merging into one with me…

In that world untouched by the livestream, not knowing how to face X, I had delayed going to see him.

By the time I finished dealing with that scum male and stepped into the disciplinary chamber carrying tangled emotions about the adulthood ball, what greeted me was X’s lethal strike.

Everything had come too late.

Up until the moment I died at his hands, I never knew that X and I had once conceived an egg together.

…

The agony of dying at X’s hands, along with all the love and hatred, fused into this body.

Cool drops of moisture trickled down my cheeks.

I wiped them away.

Turning back to look at X sleeping beside me from the mental grooming, his brows still knit tight in unease.

All my emotions dissolved into a heavy, quiet sigh.

It felt as though my very heart was clutched in an iron grip, denied all release.

Fortunately, we had a second chance.

Everything was still in time.

【11】

I finally understood why X’s attitude toward me had been so bizarre.

It wasn’t because of a male’s dominance over a female, nor the influence of pregnancy pheromones, but that very memory.

His shattered mental realm could not withstand the devastating impact of that memory.

It would kill him outright.

Under his body’s instinctual self-preservation, that memory had been sealed within a dense mist, to the point where even he could not recall its contents.

Yet he had nonetheless fused with that memory.

His conscious mind did not remember, but his subconscious and physical instincts remembered everything.

He held no lingering hatred toward me, harboring only profound guilt, remorse, love, and protective devotion.

His subconscious had linked me with the “little male” long ago.

When thinking of the little male, he would instinctively seek me out.

When I entered him, he felt deep shame.

Yet the reality of our identities as Male Master and Female Monarch, combined with carrying my egg, created a severe cognitive dissonance, though he could not comprehend the cause.

He could only please me physically.

Not only could he not refuse, but he had to exert every effort to flatter and pleasure me.

In his subconscious, he viewed me as his little male.

Yet by title, he was my cijun, carrying my insect egg.

No wonder X felt so torn apart.

…

I do not intend to let him know about the existence of that memory.

Things are wonderful as they are; there is no need for him to endure the agony of a collapsing mental realm twice over.

As I mend his mental realm, I will bury that memory even deeper.

【12】

I removed X’s inhibitors and the handcuffs he had to wear before sleep every night, granting him permission to return to the military district.

He was frightened out of his wits, pleading with me, actually begging me to put the inhibitors back on.

Seeing his frantic panic, I understood: he was terrified of hurting me again like in that memory.

Even though he didn’t consciously know a thing.

I escorted him to the military headquarters personally, spent the entire day accompanying him in his office, and brought him back home.

With my presence, his emotional state visibly stabilized.

I knew he could not bear to be apart from me.

From then on, I frequently visited the military district to see him and pick him up after work.

【13】

Just like in that other timeline, xiongfu hosted an adulthood ceremony for me in the imperial palace.

Ever since integrating that memory, I cherished xiongfu, cifu, and Mu Li’an all the more.

I brought X to the imperial palace ahead of schedule.

Introducing my cijun and the insect egg in his womb to my family.

Cifu‘s feelings toward X were complicated, but for my sake, he accepted him swiftly.

Xiongfu… I always had the feeling xiongfu saw through everything.

X’s mental realm was riddled with holes like a sieve; before a powerhouse of the Zerg Emperor’s caliber, there was nowhere to hide.

Xiongfu asked me: must it be him?

I answered: it must be him.

【14】

That adulthood ceremony that had never arrived in the other memory was held with absolute smoothness.

The dance I had never shared with X went on for the entire evening.

X remained faithfully by my side throughout.

I brought him to live in my childhood bedchamber and showed him my family cat.

He seemed to care about the cat quite a bit, asking me questions about it.

I knew he was searching for traces of the “little male.”

It took all my effort to keep my expression straight without giving anything away.

Then I pinned him to the bed—the bed of my childhood—and claimed him thoroughly from head to toe.

【15】

The insect egg was laid safely.

A female egg, bearing frost-flower patterns across the shell.

X’s pheromones carried the crisp, cool scent of icy frost flowers; the egg’s patterns were clearly inherited from him.

【16】

During the Twin Moon Festival, we ran into a bit of trouble, though it was quickly resolved.

X looked stunning cutting down enemies across the battlefield.

The attackers’ mechas detonated into brilliant fireworks, making up for the regret of xiongfu forbidding me from setting off fireworks.

Bathing together under the glow of the twin moons, receiving the twin moons’ blessing, we will live happily together for eternity.

I do not believe in the Moon Goddess, because that legend was spun by my own hand.

Yet I will ensure it becomes reality.

【17】

The cub hatched smoothly.

I named him Miracle, meaning a miracle.

X had always adored little cubs; now his wish has been granted.

He cares for the cub with utmost devotion, insisting on feeding him milkfruit personally every day.

Don’t ask where the milk went.

After all, there was another, much larger “cub” to look after.

Entirely reasonable.

【18】

Trembling with unease, X confessed to me that before Miracle, he had another cub.

His true eldest son.

Wiping the milk traces from the corner of my lips with a handkerchief, I waited for him to continue.

He said his cub was named “Si Si.”

He watched my expression gingerly, terrified that I might be angry.

I sighed, deciding not to hold it against this foolish bug.

After all, his brain truly didn’t work well.

With his battered, ruined mental realm back then, having integrated such a brutal memory, surviving until today was already a miracle; one couldn’t expect more.

I have been mending X’s mental realm continually.

The results are delightful.

It has also made X firmly convinced that his brain is completely healed and his mental health in peak condition.

Heh, silly bug.

【19】

I do not plan on lifting the mist over his memory.

Perhaps on some distant day, when his mental realm is truly flawless, and our life together is blissful and resilient enough to bear everything, I might lift the veil.

Or perhaps I never will.

I have always been a selfish bug.

【20】

I have always avoided looking at X’s back.

The wings I once severed.

That indelible, agonizing scar.

Even during intimacy in bed, I would avoid touching those spots as much as possible.

Only for him to tell me that his wings had regrown long ago.

Me: “?”

Back when I released him from the disciplinary chamber, he had already broken through to SS-rank.

Probably due to integrating that memory.

Then during that entire period, wearing an inhibitor that could only restrict S-grade females… what was the point?!

Playing me for a fool?

I was so enraged I fucked straight into his wing cavities.

【21】

The livestream system has departed.

Like bidding farewell to a group of old friends who had kept me company for so long.

I am grateful for the livestream’s arrival, granting me the opportunity to rewrite our destiny.

It also helped me see my own heart clearly, allowing me to walk forward hand-in-hand with X.

I have begun my new life.

The new life of our family.