FLME Ch64

Yu Wen suffered from a condition where he embarrassed easily. Whenever he felt awkward, he often blurted out things even he himself couldn’t understand.

After asking like a thief in the night, he didn’t realize anything was wrong at first. But when Xie Heyu’s words dropped, his short-circuiting brain started turning again.

“…Why don’t we just walk right out?” Looking at Xie Heyu’s deadpan expression, he asked in confusion, “When the uncle knocks, we openly and honestly open the door and tell him I came over to hang out… That would be the normal progression of events, right? Not making a peep earlier only makes it harder to explain now…”

The more he thought about it, the more right he felt. “Why did I have to hide in the closet?! We weren’t doing anything shameful!”

Xie Heyu agreed with the first half; he also didn’t understand why Yu Wen had to hide in the closet. When Xie Jialin knocked on the door, he had Yu Wen pinned against the vanity table, kissing him. At the sound of the knock, Teacher Xiao Yu jumped, his eyes going wide as he pushed against him with all his might. Xie Heyu couldn’t be bothered, figuring the door was locked anyway so Xie Jialin couldn’t get in. If he knocked for a bit and got no answer, he’d just leave on his own.

He wanted to continue, but Yu Wen panicked intensely, continuously signaling with his eyes and even kicking him as the knocking grew more frantic.

Unable to reach his lips, Xie Heyu turned his head and bit down on Yu Wen’s shoulder, pulling his shirt aside to do so.

Afterward, when he went to open the door, Teacher Xiao Yu scrambled and tumbled straight into the closet.

“Weren’t doing anything shameful?” Xie Heyu repeated the phrase ambiguously, licking the corner of his lips pointedly.

Yu Wen: “…”

Teacher Xie still had a fresh set of teeth marks on his lower lip. Yu Wen had bitten him in a panic earlier, breaking the skin in one spot. It was oozing a bit of blood, looking exceptionally striking against his thin lips.

He couldn’t exactly say they weren’t doing anything shameful.

He could only say that them being together was the shameful part.

“Wait, no, no—” Just as discomfort welled up in his heart, Yu Wen snapped back to reality. “You did that on purpose, Xie Heyu! You deliberately steered me into an awkward situation! Whenever I get awkward, my head turns to mush. Just now too! You didn’t tell me the door was locked, and you even pulled my clothes open…”

A very serious accusation.

He even called him by his full name.

Could he admit to this? If he admitted it, where would his happy life be in the future?

Xie Heyu: “I didn’t…”

“You did.” Yu Wen said with ringing force, “You even made me stay and sleep with you!”

Xie Heyu: “…”

What kind of phrasing is that? Anyone hearing it would definitely get the wrong idea.

Xie Jialin was rushing them from downstairs. Xie Heyu didn’t say much more, but he had already secretly resolved to gloss over the whole matter. Teacher Xiao Yu was easiest to bully when his head was mush; he absolutely could not let him recover his senses, otherwise the direct pitches he threw all day would go to waste.

Gripping the door handle, in order to prove he wasn’t the kind of bastard who “makes his boyfriend stay and sleep with him,” Xie Heyu asked politely, “Shall we go out together?”

Yu Wen viewed this as a provocation.

He looked at Xie Heyu with a hint of suspicion, feeling increasingly certain that he had snagged a very scheming boyfriend. Especially since Xie Heyu understood him exceptionally well, from his preferences to his thought processes… even predicting the train of thought that no one else could ever follow. Deliberately creating an awkward situation just to trick him into staying over… Wow! It makes so much sense!

Yu Wen was thoroughly convinced by his own detective-like deduction, and simultaneously felt that Xie Heyu’s invitation was a tactical retreat.

Could it be that he knows I’m embarrassed and is saying this on purpose, when in reality he still wants to trick me into staying so we can sleep in the same bed…?

Could he let this guy get his way?!

Yu Wen immediately stood up from the chair and said, refusing to be outdone, “Of course.”

Worst comes to worst, he’d just say he was using the bathroom in Xie Heyu’s room. He had seen the world! He had survived being crowned Melon King by the entire internet, which was far more embarrassing than this. A mere boyfriend’s dad… easy peasy.

Xie Heyu seemed a bit surprised. He reached out and pinched the soft flesh of his cheek gently, like teasing a child.

Although he felt a slight barrier in his heart, he was the boyfriend he handpicked himself. Flaws like being scheming could be slowly corrected over time. Pouting, Yu Wen put on an expression of aloof indifference, but his body was very honest, pulling Xie Heyu’s hand down and hooking their fingertips together.

Xie Heyu opened the door and walked in front.

Yu Wen fell a few steps behind. As he walked, he pondered how to address the uncle later. Just as he reached the corner, Xie Heyu had already gone downstairs and bumped straight into Xie Jialin coming out of the kitchen.

“Hey Xiao Xie, the skin on your lip is broken… Looks like a teeth mark. What bit you? Kissing?”

The excuse Yu Wen had prepared instantly flew out the window. His steps downstairs abruptly reversed. He intended to hide back in the room, but his movements were clumsy; he tripped, stumbling and hiding in the corner.

The usual spot. Last time he eavesdropped on a confession, he was in this exact seat.

The noise of him tripping was a bit loud. Xie Heyu and Xie Jialin both turned their heads simultaneously. Xie Jialin asked, “Is someone in the house? By the way, I saw a pair of shoes at the door earlier…”

Before he could finish, Xie Heyu took a long stride up the stairs, dropping a few perfunctory words, “There’s a cat. It got out. Don’t come up.”

Xie Jialin had no choice but to stand in place and watch him go upstairs to rescue the “cat.”

Yu Wen’s trip wasn’t serious, but the psychological trauma was massive. Sitting in the corner with his forehead pressed against the wall, he had completely shut down.

Xie Heyu went over and turned his face around, asking silently: Are you okay?

With his face squished by Xie Heyu, looking chubby-cheeked, he really did look like a very emo little cat. He mouthed to Xie Heyu: I’m not going out. I’m sleeping in your room.

Hahaha goddamn it, if he knew this would happen, why did he bite Xie Heyu?! Now look, karma has arrived. If anyone knew he was with Xie Heyu just now, combined with the wound on Xie Heyu’s lip, even an idiot would know what they were secretly doing!

Hahaha goddamn it, his secondhand embarrassment was flaring up, he wanted to blow up the Earth!

Xie Heyu was left speechless. It was only their first day together, and Yu Wen hadn’t adjusted his mindset yet. Perhaps because he was pushed too hard before, he habitually played ostrich, completely forgetting that they were in a legitimate romantic relationship and didn’t actually need to avoid people.

This wasn’t a good time or setting for a counseling session. Xie Heyu checked him over to confirm he wasn’t hurt, then, urged by Yu Wen, went back down to distract Xie Jialin.

“Is the kitten okay? Bring it down for me to see?”

Xie Heyu said, “Just brought it home, it’s scared of strangers. Next time.”

Xie Jialin said regretfully, “True, a newly arrived kitten needs time to adapt.”

After exchanging a few words, Xie Jialin pulled out his phone. “Did you see the messages I sent you? You haven’t replied. The group chat is celebrating your debut, your aunt sent a huge red envelope, and you actually didn’t claim it.”

“…Debut?” Xie Heyu said with a complicated mood, “I just helped out with a cameo of my back, it doesn’t count as acting.”

Xie Jialin retorted, “You were on TV! So many netizens were asking who you were. What does that mean? It means you have great audience affinity! Oh right, they’re also shipping, shipping some kind of product, they seem very interested in you. You should take this opportunity to charge into the entertainment circle, walk the Walk of Fame, work hard to win Xiao Yu over, and then our old Xie family will have two arts students, truly bringing honor to our ancestors…”

Inexplicably called out, Yu Wen froze in place. Before Xie Jialin mentioned him, he was trying to sneak back to the room from the corner. When the uncle suddenly said something about “winning Xiao Yu over,” he instantly couldn’t move an inch, frozen in a bizarre posture in the second-floor hallway.

Xie Heyu looked up and noticed his awkward posture and stiff expression, involuntarily curling his lips, wanting to laugh.

Yu Wen glared at him, warning him not to laugh.

“…Dad isn’t pressuring you, there are rewards, we can negotiate… Xiao Xie, Xie Heyu? Are you listening to me?!”

Xie Jialin noticed his shifting gaze and turned his head to follow it. Luckily, Xie Heyu was quick-witted and grabbed his face with both hands.

The father and son engaged in a magical staring contest that lasted half a minute.

Half a minute later, Xie Jialin said, “Let go, I won’t turn around. I’m afraid you’ll slap me.”

The grip was so strong, he almost thought the silent gourd was going to commit patricide.

Xie Heyu changed the subject, “What is the internet saying? Let me see.”

He hadn’t seen the video released by the company yet. During the day, Yu Wen was shooting character posters and was too busy, so he helped log in and retweet the Weibo promotions. He had a lot on his plate then and forgot about it after retweeting, so neither of them had looked closely.

But once this set of videos was released, it indeed made quite a splash.

Battle Royale had already updated to its fifth episode. Although one episode was temporarily taken down due to a certain celebrity’s scandal, since it had been broadcast and viewers had seen it, it counted. Edits of the first five episodes were still circulating on certain video sites.

Undeniably, every episode’s script was brilliant, but what viewers cared about the most was still the Hero’s squad from the first episode. It could perhaps be compared to a first-love complex: encountering such a stunning story too early on meant that no matter how fleshed out or tear-jerking subsequent stories were, they couldn’t match the first episode’s status in the viewers’ hearts.

The variety show viewership myth created by the first episode was expected to remain unbroken for a very long time—even Battle Royale itself couldn’t surpass it.

Fortunately, in all five episodes so far, the guests had successfully escaped, with everyone surviving.

Starting from the second episode, netizens developed a habit of camping out for the results during the recording. Even if the production crew didn’t allow set visits, they would cross mountains and rivers to find the recording location, squatting in trees, on roofs, and on all sorts of unexpected objects. Their goal wasn’t to show support for any particular artist; they simply wanted to be the first to know if the guests had successfully escaped.

The production crew didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at this situation, eventually just opening up the recordings so fans wouldn’t have to climb mountains and trees.

Xie Heyu remembered that when the recently concluded sixth episode wrapped up, Yu Wen ran out of the hospital covered in sweat, and the fans not far away immediately started cheering. He was near the perimeter and heard a choked sob in the boiling crowd, someone yelling, “Saved another one… Hero, you’re fucking awesome!”

It was dusk that day, the sky completely dark. Yu Wen’s light boards formed a continuous stretch, the blue and yellow colors warm and brilliant in the cold, silent night, almost illuminating the canopy like an endless stream of hope.

Yu Wen was the undisputed brains of the operation on the show, frequently skipping levels and sweeping through obstacles. As long as he wasn’t trapped or misled by the production crew’s information, he could basically carry the other four. Most importantly, Tong Li had once stated frankly on Weibo: Don’t worry about Yu Wen moving too fast; if even a single person falls behind, he won’t walk out that door.

Because his solo escape would be entirely meaningless.

So everyone knew that Yu Wen coming out meant the entire cast had successfully escaped, taking them one step closer to resurrecting the undead.

Many of the people holding light boards weren’t Yu Wen’s fans, but they all prepared one for him, lighting up the blue and yellow for him the moment he appeared.

The resurrection order of the undead followed the order of their deaths. Undoubtedly, the Evil Dragon was the last, which meant the Evil-Hero ship’s content was the hardest to wait for.

At a time when fans were starving and howling for food, Starlight Media released this video. How could it not make the fans ecstatic?

Xie Heyu scrolled through briefly; the popularity was indeed very high. The reposted videos on certain sites and TikTok had already surpassed a million views, and it had only been a day.

Xie Jialin’s description wasn’t quite accurate. Netizens were indeed shipping a CP, but it had nothing to do with him; it was about the two characters.

However, a portion of netizens did indeed focus their attention on him.

[I knew humanizing the Evil Dragon would ooze sexual tension…]

[This waist, this back, these shoulders, these proportions. I declare this is what the Evil Dragon looks like in 3D.]

[Who is he, who exactly is he?! (Digs left) (Digs right) (Digs across the whole internet) Daddy! Come out and cook a meal for me!]

[Starlight Media, let my leopard out!]

[I get it, this is just a little trick by Starlight Media to PUA me. Speak, what do you want from me? What will it take for you to shoot another one?]

[A video less than three minutes long, and our dragon cubs are feasting like it’s New Year’s. It’s clear we were truly starving.]

[Not enough! Food! Food! Daddy! Mommy! Food!]

[Sis has money, can you shoot a steamy, rated-18 version for me?]

After fermenting for a day, there were always those with sharp eyes. Although Xie Heyu had never shown his face on camera, he accompanied Yu Wen on his schedule privately, so there were always times his face was caught.

For example, during the last office tour, the myth of him hoisting Yu Wen onto his shoulder was still widely circulated in the industry, drawing envy from fans across various fandoms—If my manager could hoist my idol onto his shoulder when being mobbed, I wouldn’t have to worry about any safety hazards ever again.

A manager like this looked like he could take on a whole crowd, radiating a massive sense of security.

The ones hunting the most enthusiastically were Yu Wen’s fans. As mentioned before, some of the fans were hand-connoisseurs who could recognize Xie Heyu based solely on his hands. This time, with his entire physique visible, it didn’t take long to lock onto the manager.

[Veins: match. Finger length: match. Wrist bone curve: match. Forearm lines: match… That’s right, with these eyes of mine, I could misidentify a dick, but I’d never misidentify a hand.]

Xie Heyu shared a work account with Xie Jiamao. Since company matters were similar, he was too lazy to open his own. Through a few frontal photos taken at the airport, netizens dug up the private account he hadn’t used in hundreds of years.

The comment section of that account had a few photos of him posted by his family. Seeing everyone having fun, he had ignored it. Who would have thought they could dig this up too.

Seeing the tags on the trending searches, Xie Heyu’s eyebrow twitched. He hurriedly switched back to his private account, and the direct message notification sounds rang continuously, ding-ding-dong-dong.

He muted it and casually clicked on a few DMs to scan through.

At first, the netizens were relatively reserved. Probably because he wasn’t an entertainer, they felt embarrassed to go completely crazy. The process was usually a polite greeting, then a courteous inquiry if he was the humanized version of the Evil Dragon, followed by a careful request for him to shoot one or two more, accompanied by sincere gratitude.

But clearly, the netizens couldn’t keep their masks on for too long.

The DMs before midnight were relatively mild. After midnight, the netizens, having only gotten a small taste, began to lose their minds.

[Bro! Bro! Bro! Just shoot one more! I won’t touch it again, I’ll just eat this one time, I’ll never touch it again!]

[For our Evil-Hero CP, there’s very little official food, but it’s okay, sis is already used to it (lights a cigarette). If you’re willing to shoot another one, I’ll be a little grateful to you. I mean a little, I’m not that cheap…]

There was another category, concise and to the point, expressing their feelings directly.

Without many words, it was all screenshots. Xie Heyu clicked on one to look. The very top prompted him to mirror-flip the image. After he finished the operation and looked again…

Erotica.

The netizen’s tone was very domineering CEO. Aside from the erotica, they only sent a single word: Shoot!