FLME Ch60

After Xie Heyu finished reading that line, Yu Wen tilted his head up to the sky in melancholy, the sheer absurdity forcing tears into his eyes.

The boy rubbed his hair. That accusation was indeed a bit baffling. He had gotten carried away while writing and only just realized it, feeling a bit embarrassed.

Xie Heyu remained unfazed, his mental state steady as an old hound.

Compared to him, the netizens’ thought processes were wildly turbulent.

[Bro, crack a smile, please. You’re making me look like a psychopath.]

[Bro, you’re making me sweat profusely.]

[Little Fish, control your manager! Him acting like this doubles the comedy, help!]

“Huh? Me, control him?” Yu Wen laughed in surprise. “Usually, he controls me.”

Xie Heyu swiped the screen, showed it to Yu Wen, and asked, “Shall I keep reading?”

Before Yu Wen could even speak, the netizens exploded.

[Bro, you are a ninja, you have my deepest respect.]

[Must have committed murder and arson in a past life to be sharing a planet with Damn Zhuang in this one.]

[Please stop reading, seriously. I have a friend who can’t really handle it. Not me, of course, I dare to eat any melon. It’s just my friend, his stomach is a bit weak…]

Yu Wen turned the screen off and handed it back to the boy.

The number of viewers in the livestream had quadrupled since they started. Many netizens in the bullet comments had flocked over from the trending searches. Although Yu Wen hadn’t been paying attention to the trends, a bombshell exposed right at the center of the storm was guaranteed to go viral.

Skipping past the roasting segment, Yi Ming quickly composed herself and sat back in front of the camera. She didn’t dare let Xie Heyu leave, fearing she and Yu Wen might lose their composure later. Keeping Xie Heyu meant having someone emotionally stable to anchor the situation.

And so, the moment netizens clicked in, they were greeted by three impeccably matching green T-shirts.

[…Such weird T-shirts, yet strangely pleasing to the eye.]

[May I ask what organization you all belong to? Can I join?]

Yu Wen sat dead center, knees together, hands folded in his lap. His posture was so dignified and solemn that if you drew a crescent moon on his forehead, he could cosplay as a pale-faced Bao Qingtian (Justice Bao).

The netizens affectionately dubbed him “Grand Justice Bao.”

This was the Melon King’s first proactive expose, and also the Grand Justice’s first time presiding over an internet tribunal. The netizens interviewed him for his thoughts.

Yu Wen loved watching a good show, but he detested becoming the show himself. Every time someone called him the Melon King, his expression twisted in conflict.

But this time, for the sake of justice, he stepped forward!

“We don’t belong to any organization, we are just ordinary, unremarkable, justice-loving, enthusiastic citizens… Winning the title of ‘Melon King,’ I must first thank my company, Starlight Media. Without the company’s base salary, I wouldn’t be here today…”

[Here he goes again, here he goes again, this talent for spouting pure nonsense.]

[All netizens, look at me! Little Fish wifey is delivering a major acceptance speech! Listen up, everyone!]

At the end of the livestream, Yi Ming dug out a small squeaky toy hammer and a magistrate’s hat from a historical drama costume. Yu Wen put the hat on, solemnly raised the little hammer, and declared, “Does the defense attorney have any objections?”

The netizens played along perfectly, popping up one after another, claiming to be the defense attorney. They declared the defendant guilty of heinous crimes, deserving of a thousand deaths, and begged the Grand Justice to sentence him to death.

Judge Little Fish ultimately showed mercy. Bringing the hammer down with finality, he pronounced the verdict: “Banished from the entertainment industry, never to be hired again!”

[Good!]

[A great satisfaction to the people!]

The internet tribunal was just a joke, and Yu Wen’s verdict could never truly take effect. However, this chaotic, unhinged livestream clearly catered perfectly to the tastes of today’s youth. Not long after the VOD was posted, it racked up tens of millions of views.

The Best Actor’s downfall, aside from the judgment, provided a good dose of comedic relief.

To reward Yu Wen, Yi Ming ordered a table full of midnight snacks. Staring at the massive spread of barbecue, Yu Wen said, “Master, you just wanted to eat it yourself, didn’t you?”

His Master shot him a look that said: See through it, but don’t say it.

Yu Wen was very picky about barbecue. Usually, barbecue had a lot of seasoning, and his tongue happened to dislike heavy spices. After taking a few cursory bites and finding it not to his taste, he grabbed a glass of coconut water and went out to the balcony to catch the breeze.

He unlocked his phone. Assuming Weibo would be lagging too much to log in, he wisely avoided it, but various WeChat groups were buzzing about the incident as well.

Chu Han: [Scumbag! Animal! Human trash!]

Xi Su: […Calm down, I can hear your voice all the way from the third floor.]

Xie Jiamao: [Watched the livestream. Our Xiao Yu is truly witty, smart, and righteous. LinaBell holding cheeks.jpg]

Gao Kaiyu: [I really want to gouge your motherly eyes out… Hurry up and hire a lawyer! Call all our connections! If this isn’t handled well, the one retiring from the industry might just be our Xiao Yu.]

Xie Jiamao: [Who dares! Whoever dares to force our Xiao Yu out of the entertainment industry, I’ll make sure they can’t survive in this world!]

Reading this, Yu Wen felt a bit embarrassed. His actions this time were indeed lacking in forethought and probably left behind a lot of ammunition for critics. But with the situation right in front of him, there was no reason to shrink back either.

So he sent a separate message to Xie Jiamao, earnestly acting cute and apologizing.

Unexpectedly, Xie Jiamao replied: [A mere Best Actor is nothing to worry about. Xiao Yu, fly freely, Starlight Media will follow you to the end!]

Yu Wen: “…”

Yu Wen couldn’t help but scratch his head. Is our slapdash troupe really this powerful?

Well, it makes sense. The bald uncle living in that neighborhood is definitely a big shot. It’s just unknown which industry he’s a big shot in. Cross-industry law enforcement might be a bit inconvenient.

Yu Wen pondered left and right, feeling his boss was being a bit arrogant, but he still played along: [Swinging glow sticks and cheering.jpg The boss is the most amazing! Taking down a mere Fortune 500 company is a piece of cake!]

The other exceptionally lively group was his Spicy Teachers group chat.

The teachers were interrogating Yu Wen and Yi Ming in the group, demanding to know why they didn’t invite them to eat melon.

Tong Li: [I was really stupid, truly. I thought that by joining this group, I would be able to grasp the latest gossip. I never expected that some colleagues would secretly eat behind our backs during recording. My support and time over these years have ultimately been misplaced…]

Fan Xiangyang: [Yi Ming, Yu Wen, I trusted the wrong people. Don’t think I can’t recognize those are the clothes from the second recording! We were right upstairs! Why didn’t you lift a finger to notify us?! Fan also wanted to participate in this justice-serving tribunal!]

Li Daniel: [We agreed never to separate, to stay together forever and ever…]

Jian Heng: [I once thought Yu Wen and I were the best melon-eating bros…]

Yu Wen scrolled through the group messages, baffled as to how the Spicy Teachers knew he had secretly eaten melon during recording.

Then he went online and understood.

Among the screenshots Yi Ming posted on Weibo, one was a selfie of her and Yu Wen crouching in the bushes. Yes, that exact piece of evidence she had specifically preserved. There was another one: in the hot spring hotel restaurant, when the Best Actor was slapped, a melon-eating bystander took a photo. Zooming in on the right side of the photo revealed a Yu Wen chewing with bulging cheeks.

He really, truly thanked her.

Unsurprisingly, the comments section took a bizarre turn.

[In two of these photos, there seems to be an acquaintance of mine…]

[I’m not his fan, and I haven’t seen his works, but I already recognize his face. Surname is Melon, right?]

[…Are you crazy! Our baby’s surname is Yu! Melon King is his nickname! His name is Yu Wen!]

The top comment, with nearly a million likes: [Wifey, during the livestream, you didn’t mention you were at the scene for the entire melon.]

Yu Wen closed his eyes, choosing to directly face this deranged internet.

He used his main account to reply to the top comment: [I’m often at the scene, so what? Kitty holding cheeks.jpg]

That’s right, it’s me, the at-the-scene monster! What are you gonna do, beat me to death?

When a person starts embracing the rot (laying flat), embarrassment and constraint vanish into thin air.

Yu Wen changed his profile picture to a meme made by fans: a chibi kitty wearing a crown, marching proudly, with a slice of watermelon hanging from its chest. The crown bore four characters: MELON KING ARRIVES.

Then he changed his bio to: [This is the Melon King’s territory. Please establish a brainwave connection with the Melon King after the beep. If we are on the same frequency, congratulations! You have won the surprise grand prize of sharing the melon field!]

Not long after he lay flat, the Best Actor began to counterattack, but the netizens completely ignored the content of his Weibo posts, their attention focused entirely elsewhere.

[Did you wash your hands? If you didn’t wash your hands, you’re not allowed to talk to me.]

[My mom doesn’t let me play with unhygienic people.]

[Your words look stinky…]

[Go take a shower, I’m serious.]

[I really want to unload a clip into you, I’m serious.]

No matter what Weibo he posted or what the content was, the netizens only had one sentence: “DID! YOU! WASH! YOUR! HANDS!!”

Excellent.

A thoroughly exhilarating counterattack.

The situation was completely one-sided, leaving no room for struggle. Both Yi Ming and Yu Wen had companies backing them. That female artist was the pillar of Huiteng Group. It was hard to target any of them, none were easy to mess with, and sticking to the facts, the Best Actor had no ground to stand on.

Yu Wen estimated that this grand drama would drop its curtains by tomorrow.

He put away his phone, leaning against the balcony, enjoying the night breeze and drinking his coconut water. A moment later, the boy walked out holding two bottles of beer and asked shyly, “Want a drink?”

Yu Wen wasn’t used to the pungent taste of alcohol, but he felt the other party didn’t actually want to get him drunk; perhaps he was just looking for someone to confide in. So he smoothly took it.

“I’ve known Brother Zhuang for many years…” The moment the boy opened his mouth, Yu Wen knew it was going to be a long story.

There was a bench on the balcony. Yu Wen sat down and patted the empty spot next to him.

Although he felt deep disgust toward the Best Actor, Yu Wen still listened earnestly to the beginning and end of this relationship. There were good times and bad times; it was actually quite normal that the boy couldn’t extricate himself. It was just that Yu Wen put himself in his shoes and thought: if it were him, this relationship wouldn’t have even started.

That guy surnamed Zhuang had many flaws, but he possessed one single virtue: he treated the boy exceptionally well. Of course, that was in the past.

“He had bad habits I didn’t like, and he’d turn around and fix them. When we were in school, his grades were poor. We weren’t lovers then, just friends. I made a passing joke about it, and he took it to heart. His grades improved significantly by the second monthly exam, and like a kid, he asked me if I could praise him…”

Young lovers stumbling their way forward; making it this far truly wasn’t easy.

“When you’re young, everyone has that mindset of taking on the world… You might not understand, you’re smarter than me.” The boy looked at Yu Wen with a smile and said, “He isn’t a perfect person, but he kept every word I said in his heart. When others said we weren’t a good match, I thought: That’s because you don’t understand my weight in his heart…“

Perhaps there was weight, but as time passed, that weight would fade, and a person’s true nature would reveal itself.

Those corrected habits, the unfailing daily greetings, the warm concern… Unbeknownst to them, they gradually vanished between the two.

The boy couldn’t figure it out and could only attribute it to work exhaustion. After this incident happened, he suddenly realized: Ah, so he just didn’t love me anymore.

Why not just say it straight? They could have actually parted on good terms.

Yu Wen listened quietly, not offering a single word. The boy’s venting was mostly self-deprecating; he clearly needed neither comfort nor advice. He had already thought it through clearly himself. Perhaps he just wanted to use one final confession to draw a definitive close to his absurd eight years.

“…I once heard a saying.” After speaking for a long time, the boy paused. Yu Wen finally spoke up, saying softly, “‘Love a person who is inherently good, rather than a person who treats you good.’ I think that makes a lot of sense.”

When love wears away, an inherently good person remains good, while an unbearable person will forever be unbearable.

The boy froze, his eyes growing slightly moist. He said, “A very good saying. It’s a pity I learned it too late.”

Yu Wen smiled. “It’s not too late to know it now.”

The boy smiled as well, raising his beer toward him. “A toast to us, for whom it is not too late.”

Yu Wen set down his coconut water, pulled the tab, and gently clinked cans with him.

The aluminum cans collided, spilling bright, clear liquid.

With the atmosphere reaching this point, Yu Wen also took a few sips. Stories were a great chaser for alcohol. As the boy talked, Yu Wen sipped. Sipping and sipping, he finished an entire can of beer.

Halfway through, Xie Heyu came out to bring him food. Seeing his flushed cheeks from drinking, he couldn’t help but worry.

Yu Wen, however, said, “Teacher Xie, I might have a constitution that never gets drunk. I don’t feel a single thing even now.”

He indeed looked to be in good condition. Although his face was a bit red, his speech was clear and his eyes were bright.

Yu Wen tilted his head, acting cute toward Xie Heyu. “Teacher Xie, another bottle.”

Xie Heyu stared at him silently, having no choice but to turn around and grab two more cans for them, preparing some hangover honey water while he was at it.

During the livestream earlier, Yu Wen had been very curious about the ‘getting bent’ part. Now, cracking open his second can of beer, he finally voiced his question.

“W-Why exactly did you turn bent?”

The boy smiled. “Most people’s sexual orientation is fluid. I remember reading literature stating that absolute homosexuality and absolute heterosexuality are both very rare. With changes in experience, environment, etc., orientation is highly likely to shift. All I can say is, don’t confine yourself to a certain definition. When change comes, embrace it; your own feelings are paramount.”

Yu Wen knew this much; his knowledge was broad and eclectic. But this wasn’t the core of his question.

Yu Wen said, “No, I wanted to ask, how… did you discover you were bent…”

The more he spoke, the quieter his voice became, feeling a bit embarrassed.

The boy thought for a moment and said, “There was no obvious dividing line. It’s just that one day, that guy surnamed Zhuang suddenly gave me a kiss. I realized I didn’t hate it, and then I knew, I definitely liked him.”

A kiss?

A kiss is all it takes?

At 11:00 PM, this justice-serving tribunal was finally drawing to a close. Yu Wen couldn’t remember how many bottles of beer he had drunk. Counting the empty cans, it was about four or five.

He felt fine—a bit dizzy, but his mind was clear.

The boy left first. He declined Xie Heyu’s kind offer to drive him home, saying, “I’ve called a car. Thank you guys so much for today.”

Yi Ming told him to send a message when he got home.

More than half of the midnight snacks remained on the table. While Yi Ming loved to eat, her appetite wasn’t actually that big. Staring at the massive table of food, she fretted, “Xiao Yu, are you really not going to eat? Barbecue left overnight and reheated tomorrow won’t taste good.”

Yu Wen intended to help her share the burden, but holding his chopsticks and staring for a long time, he didn’t know where to start.

At that moment, Xie Heyu slid a small plate over. Inside were a few peeled grilled shrimp and several processed beef skewers.

Yu Wen knew without thinking that Teacher Xie must have tasted them beforehand and picked out the parts he felt Yu Wen could eat.

Teacher Xie’s premium selection!

A goofy smile spread across Yu Wen’s flushed face. Taking two bites, he suddenly remembered the ‘good person vs. person who treats you good’ theory he discussed with the boy earlier. He mumbled, “Teacher Xie, if it were someone else, would you pick out food for them too…”

Xie Heyu said, “I will appropriately accommodate those with picky tastes.”

Yu Wen started giggling heh-heh-heh again. “Teacher Xie, at a time like this, if you say ‘I only care about you,’ it’ll make the other person feel favored, you know.”

Xie Heyu paused his movements, saying thoughtfully, “This is a form of social courtesy, there’s nothing wrong with it, right?”

Yu Wen leaned half his body over, pretending to whisper a secret. “Let me secretly tell you, Teacher Xiao Yu thinks… it’s exceptionally good! Our Teacher Xie is exactly this kind of kind and considerate person.”

Looking at his proud expression, Xie Heyu suspected he was drunk.

There was a bit of grease on the corner of Yu Wen’s mouth. Xie Heyu took a tissue and wiped it away for him, asking softly, “Do you want some honey water?”

Yu Wen thought for a second. “Yes~”

Xie Heyu then went to the kitchen to pour him the honey water he had prepared earlier.

The two of them were completely oblivious to Yi Ming sitting across from them.

Detective Xiao Ming crossed her arms, looking back and forth between the two. Her sharp detective instincts were triggered.

Something’s wrong, she thought.

Something is very wrong.

Driving from Yi Ming’s house back to the villa, it was nearly midnight by the time they arrived.

Sitting in the passenger seat, Yu Wen slept groggily.

He woke up when the car stopped, but his entire body felt lethargic; he lacked strength and didn’t want to open his eyes.

Saying he was drunk wasn’t entirely accurate, but the alcohol had undoubtedly affected his bodily functions. Yu Wen felt his mind was clear, but his body ran hot, and his temples throbbed intensely.

Xie Heyu called his name twice. Seeing no response, he got out of the car first.

After waiting a moment, Yu Wen heard the passenger door open. Xie Heyu’s unique, indescribably clean and crisp detergent scent washed over him.

“Yu Wen?”

Xie Heyu leaned in very close. His voice was light and slow, as if afraid to wake him. In the stillness of the night, it inexplicably birthed a sense of ambiguity and flirtation.

Yu Wen could feel his breath brushing against his chin, puff after puff, a faint itch.

He suddenly grew nervous.

He remembered the boy’s story, how the guy surnamed Zhuang had suddenly kissed the boy… Teacher Xie isn’t going to kiss me too, is he?

No, no, Teacher Xie isn’t like that guy surnamed Zhuang. Teacher Xie isn’t that frivolous.

But then again…

A kiss… wouldn’t be completely out of the question…

Didn’t he say that if you don’t hate a kiss, it means you like them, and if you hate it, it means you don’t? With one kiss, he could get the answer, and wouldn’t have to keep this awkwardness with Teacher Xie going forever… It’s better to clear up relationship matters as soon as possible…

Click—

Xie Heyu unbuckled his seatbelt.

Yu Wen: “…”

He instantly had a subtle premonition. Sure enough, the perfect gentleman Xie Heyu exhibited not a shred of transgressive behavior, directly lifting him out of the passenger seat.

Yu Wen kept his eyes shut tight, grateful he had been drinking and grateful the night was dark, so no one could see his face explode into a violent blush.

…What on earth are you thinking about, Yu Wen? You’re being so embarrassing right now…

Yu Wen clung tightly to Xie Heyu’s neck, his entire body burning with shyness.

The villa was dark. Chu Han and Xi Su had already returned to their rooms to rest. Xie Heyu didn’t turn on the lights, carrying Yu Wen up to the second floor.

At the second-floor landing, in front of Yu Wen’s bedroom door, Xie Heyu stopped.

He said softly, “You’re awake?”

Yu Wen instantly shivered.

Xie Heyu: “Shall I carry you inside? Or do you want to get down now?”

Being caught pretending to be asleep—there was nothing in this world more embarrassing.

Yu Wen buried his head, maintaining his last shred of dignity. Pretending he had just woken up, he rubbed his face against the crook of Xie Heyu’s neck.

“Mm… Put me down, Teacher Xie…”

Xie Heyu set him down. As he withdrew his hands, he squeezed the back of Yu Wen’s neck, as if reprimanding him for getting drunk and acting up.

Yu Wen felt a tickle and shrank his neck like a kitten.

Right… he was drunk.

This realization seemed to activate the remaining alcohol in his system, making his brain swim. Xie Heyu told him to go inside, but he grabbed Xie Heyu’s sleeve instead and hummed:

“Kiss me…”

“…”

The hallway lights were off. The moonlight spilled in through the window, painting the floor with a frosty white. Xie Heyu lowered his gaze to look at him. Yu Wen’s eyes were bright, clear, and lucid.

Xie Heyu said, “You’re drunk.”

“…Not drunk.” Yu Wen felt a bit shy. Meeting his eyes, he quickly lowered his head again, looking as if he wanted to find a crack in the floor to crawl into. It took a long while before he repeated it in a tiny, mosquito-like hum.

“Kiss me… Mmf—”

Xie Heyu pinched his chin, pinning him against the wall.

His lips and tongue were hot, scalding even more than body temperature. Yu Wen felt like he was being bitten. After biting, he licked, and after licking, he slipped his tongue in to touch the tip of Yu Wen’s tongue. The movements were gentle yet also carried a ruthless edge, as if he wanted to bite his lips off entirely.

So this is what kissing is like…

Xie Heyu was taller than him. While kissing, he half-forced Yu Wen’s chin up with his thumb, making him tilt his face up. Once Yu Wen adapted to the posture, that hand intentionally or unintentionally began to caress the side of his neck, occasionally brushing against his Adam’s apple, pressing down on it audaciously.

“No, no, don’t press,” Yu Wen jerked violently like a startled fish, grabbing Xie Heyu’s hand and saying in panic, “Uncomfortable, don’t touch, don’t touch…”

Xie Heyu released his lips, pressing their foreheads together affectionately. Finally, standing a bit straighter, he looked down with a commanding gaze, his eyes as deep as whirlpools.

He asked, “Yu Wen, are you truly drunk, or faking it?”