FLME Ch59

Once the person was gone, Yu Wen peeked out from Xie Heyu’s embrace and let out a small sigh of relief.

The security at this hot spring hotel was strict, requiring reservations in advance. The people who came here all had some status. While they enjoyed a good show, they weren’t overly curious about celebrities.

Yu Wen took off his sunglasses and sat down to eat with Xie Heyu, briefly explaining the sequence of events.

Xie Heyu had already removed his makeup and changed into casual clothes. Hearing this, he showed a momentary flash of emotion. Even with his excellent upbringing, he couldn’t help but say, “Such human scum…”

Yu Wen chimed in, “Yeah! That’s why we call him ‘Damn Zhuang’! It’s imbued with our beautiful blessings for him!”

This time, he was actually quite thankful for his gossip-attracting constitution. If he hadn’t happened to stumble upon it, who knows how long it would have taken to be exposed.

“However,” Xie Heyu said, “He’s the male lead of Moonlight Harbor. With this happening, the filming schedule will have to be delayed.”

Yu Wen replied, “Better than having it taken down after it’s filmed. It’s just tough on Director Miao, having to recast.”

He ate while texting Yi Ming. After asking, he found out that the scene just now was entirely orchestrated by Detective Xiao Ming. Realizing that both parties were kept in the dark, she sent the photos she had taken behind the bushes a few days ago directly to the girlfriend. The older sister had a fiery temper; the moment she saw the photos, she exploded. When she confronted Best Actor Zhuang, he couldn’t provide a coherent explanation.

And just now, the two of them had already broken up! The Yi-Yu duo’s first battle ended in victory! Cause for universal celebration! Proclaim it to the world!

While Yu Wen was rejoicing over his combat achievements, Gao Kaiyu was stressing out in front of the monitor.

He didn’t notice it while filming… why does the finished product look more and more like a CP?

A one-minute short film couldn’t fit much plot. Xie Heyu had no lines from start to finish and only expressed emotions through his back. The camera’s focus was always on Yu Wen.

In the beginning, the anthropomorphized Evil Dragon emerged from the water with a rotten cabbage leaf stuck to its head. Without saying a word, its fists clenched tightly at its sides, every pore screaming with grievance. The Hero laughed the moment he saw it, carefully picking the dirty things off its body while laughing.

“The citizens of the capital are just a bit obsessed with cleanliness, it’s not that they don’t like you, hahahaha…”

His smile was unbridled, hearty, clean, and pure. Yu Wen was clearly in the zone.

Then, the Evil Dragon hugged the Hero’s waist. The beast, having sheathed its sharp edges, rubbed its head against his waist, full of dependence and intimacy.

The Hero held up the brush and chatted with it.

“Hmm… If you don’t like the capital, then let’s travel the various nations together!”

The problem arose right here.

The Evil Dragon had a massive reaction to the idea of traveling together. Hearing this, it released the Hero, slowly tilting its head, expressing a sluggish, delayed sense of joy.

Then, Yu Wen’s gaze changed. It was the feeling of one’s heart being struck by something adorable, the gaze suddenly softening.

This look only appeared for a fleeting instant before Yu Wen adjusted himself. Yet precisely because it was only an instant, its presence was extraordinarily strong, and moreover…

The more you savored it, the sweeter it got.

This wouldn’t do, this wouldn’t do at all. Netizens shipping them to death was one thing, but if the official promotion was too heavy-handed, it would lack blank space for imagination, making it actually harder to ship. How did that saying go… Official queerbaiting deserves a terrible death.

Gao Kaiyu scratched his ears and cheeks in front of the monitor, feeling he had encountered the biggest challenge of his career.

He was skilled at editing emotionless eye contact into something ambiguous, but this inherently unclear eye contact… how was he supposed to edit it into socialist brotherhood?!

His assistant patted his shoulder and said sympathetically, “Boss, do your best.”

Gao Kaiyu planned to shoot three short films. One was the bathing scene, another was the farewell at the city gates, and the final one was a scene not present in the variety show.

A grassy slope. The anthropomorphized Evil Dragon sat bored, plucking blades of grass, gazing off into the distance.

It was waiting for someone to return.

The Milky Way rotated, the sun rose and set. The sun brightened and dimmed, dimmed and brightened again. It still sat there, boredly plucking grass.

Until one day, as the setting sun sank toward the horizon, someone holding a longsword ambled slowly in this direction.

The person’s back was to the light. At first, their figure couldn’t be seen clearly, but the Evil Dragon seemingly caught a scent and slowly raised its head.

“Hey! Dragon!”

The battered and bruised Hero raised a hand in greeting, smiling brightly.

The video froze here.

They bid farewell, and they reunited. This was the biggest Happy Ending Starlight Media could give to the netizens.

After filming, Xie Heyu took off the half-face mask. Sweat had completely soaked his hair.

It was a scorching hot day, and he was dressed in thick, tight layers. To match the Evil Dragon’s setting, his upper body was clad in a scale-like outer shell that resembled armor.

Wearing scar makeup, Yu Wen handed him a bottle of water. Xie Heyu said, “You’ve worked hard.” Yu Wen smiled and replied, “You’re the one who worked hard. Making a guest appearance with no pay—did Xie Jiamao really not give you a salary? I’ve wanted to say this for a long time: even though you’re his nephew, you should at least ask for some company shares…”

Xie Heyu glanced at him. His eyelashes lowered, hiding the guilt in his eyes.

Every time company matters were brought up, Teacher Xiao Yu felt so bad for him, making it completely impossible for Xie Heyu to admit that he did have shares.

Forget it, better not say anything.

On this matter, he had to be a liar.

Getting off work in the evening, Yu Wen finally had time to check his messages. Yi Ming had bombarded him with messages, telling him to check the trending searches.

The Best Actor’s relationship, which had only been officially announced two days ago, announced a breakup today. Initiated by the woman.

The woman waged war directly on Weibo, listing ‘N’ number of the Best Actor’s crimes. These included major offenses like an eight-year underground relationship and marketing a single persona to scam fans, as well as minor offenses like being a cheapskate and not washing his hands after using the restroom. Finally, she stated clearly: Her previous rumors with the Best Actor were a PR stunt orchestrated by the production crew. During this time, the man pursued her for a full month. They officially got together two days ago, and officially broke up today.

Regarding the partner of the eight-year underground relationship, she didn’t state their name, only mentioning it was an ordinary civilian—a gesture of protection.

Not long after Yu Wen finished reading the trending search, he received a call from Yi Ming.

His Second Master spoke like a secret agent making contact: “Kitty, Kitty, I am Fox.”

Yu Wen: “…When did we decide on codenames?”

Yi Ming said, “Just now. Forgot to ask you.”

Alright then.

Yu Wen: “Fox, Fox, Kitty receives.”

Yi Ming said, “Come to my place right now. I’ve already sent you the address. The operation must be covert, the actions must be swift.”

Yu Wen was greatly alarmed. “Master, is that a good idea? What if we get secretly photographed…”

Yi Ming: “Don’t worry, your Master has a brilliant plan.”

It was already dark, but not too late. The two were in the same city. Although he didn’t know what Yi Ming was planning to do, Yu Wen prepared to make the trip.

Noticing his movements, Xie Heyu asked, “Where are you going?”

Yu Wen looked at him. Thinking that if he got secretly photographed later, having his manager by his side would make it easier to explain, he asked, “Teacher Xie, are you busy? Accompany me somewhere.”

Naturally, Xie Heyu wasn’t busy.

And so, the two drove all the way to Yi Ming’s apartment.

The moment the door opened, Xie Heyu slowly raised an eyebrow, looking at Yu Wen. “You go out late at night, just to come to her place…”

Yu Wen felt he had misunderstood and hurriedly said, “No, no, the relationship between my Master and me is purely a master-disciple bond. She called me, and I was worried something happened, so I came…”

“What are you two dawdling for?” Seeing them standing motionless at the door, Yi Ming came out to rush them. “There really is something. Xiao Yu, we might have to start a livestream.”

Yu Wen: “Ah?”

A young, handsome boy walked out, holding a glass of water, looking at them somewhat nervously.

Upon seeing him, Yu Wen was even more bewildered.

Of course he recognized this person. It was the major male fan who handed him the gift at the school gates on the day of the Battle Royale recording—and also the other party involved in the Best Actor’s cheating scandal.

Yu Wen: “What kind of… play is this today?”

Yi Ming turned around and brushed back her hair with an aura of righteous indignation.

“Serving Justice Play!”

The boy wasn’t originally a fan; he was the Best Actor’s classmate.

Saying ‘sleeping with a fan’ wasn’t entirely accurate either, because the two were lovers first, having gotten together after high school graduation. In the early days of the Best Actor’s career, he wasn’t popular and had zero fan support. The boy pretended to be a fan, holding up support signs for him, and gradually became a major fan.

Yi Ming accidentally revealed her identity during their chat. The boy didn’t say much. But today, when the trending searches blew up, he suddenly reached out to Yi Ming proactively, asking if there was any way to expose the scumbag’s true colors while protecting himself.

Yi Ming: “Therefore, we will be hosting this justice-serving livestream.”

They were celebrities, after all; their livestream would inherently generate traffic. An ordinary civilian showing no face and using no real name would have drastically lower credibility, and the voices of doubt would definitely drown out the support.

Yu Wen said solemnly, “Great idea, but I have one question—”

Yi Ming: “Please speak.”

Yu Wen: “Is it absolutely necessary to wear this shirt?”

He pinched the hem of his T-shirt. Printed conspicuously on the front of the green T-shirt were four large characters: MELON KING ARRIVES.

The moment they stepped through the door, Yi Ming had pulled out this T-shirt. She also changed into one herself—also green, same cut, with the words: EVERYONE MAKE WAY.

She even found an oversized one for Xie Heyu. Yu Wen suspected she had bought these T-shirts wholesale, because when she was rummaging around, Yu Wen saw a massive pile of glowing green.

Teacher Xie had already been forced to change into it, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, awaiting orders.

Yi Ming said, “This shirt is to highlight your identity. The Melon King exposing the news personally carries more credibility and sincerity.”

Yu Wen: “But this is going to make me very embarrassed…”

Yi Ming said, “Don’t be embarrassed.”

Yu Wen waited for her to elaborate, but his Second Master just blinked her large eyes; there was no elaboration.

“Come on, let’s shout our slogan and fire the first shot for a clean and upright atmosphere in the entertainment circle!” Yi Ming extended a hand.

“Yi!”

“Yu!”

Then, the two of them opened their eyes wide and looked in unison at Xie Heyu, who was also wearing the green T-shirt.

Teacher Xie hesitantly reached out his hand, “Xie…”

“Cross!”

“…”

Yi Ming gave her livestream an incredibly explosive title: [The Best Actor Who Loved to Spread His Legs Wide Over the Years…]

Before going live, Yi Ming told him this was a very serious livestream involving very serious moral issues. As the host of this livestream, he absolutely must be serious and must not act lackadaisical.

So, when Yu Wen saw the title, he merely pursed his lips in endurance, not revealing a single trace of a smile.

However, Yi Ming, who had painstakingly repeatedly warned him, couldn’t hold it back herself.

“The title means he was two-timing (spreading his legs across two boats)… Yes, I truly am very talented.” Yi Ming cast a sidelong glance at the livestream title, deeply moved by her own brilliance, the corners of her mouth gradually becoming very difficult to suppress.

Getting down to business, Yi Ming said, “Today, Xiao Yu and I are appearing on behalf of the party involved in the ‘eight-year underground relationship.’ He is sitting right across from me. If anyone has any questions, you can ask them. He will explain the sequence of events clearly. Afterward, I will post the screenshots and evidence on Weibo. Please refrain from asking too many details involving privacy.”

The two sat on the sofa running the livestream, while the boy sat across the coffee table. Xie Heyu opened his laptop on the side, monitoring the trends of public opinion.

The boy had prepared a draft in advance. During this process, he neither spoke nor showed his face. Yi Ming and Yu Wen were responsible for relaying the netizens’ questions. He typed the answers out into text, and the two of them read it out loud.

The draft clearly and fluently explained this relationship. Yi Ming and Yu Wen helped him hide all the details that might expose his identity, but there were certain parts he insisted on saying out loud.

“He is male, yes.”

“The defendant initiated contact with my client. After my client was bent, the defendant used the excuse of his parents not accepting homosexuality to hide the relationship for years… Old grandmothers bound their feet, yet he’s out here binding his brain.”

“How could he tolerate his lover engaging in PR romances… Good question, you’ll have to ask the defendant, who doesn’t have a single word of truth in his mouth. We won’t go into details here, please see the screenshots on Xiao Ming’s Weibo.”

Yu Wen sat beside her, perfectly silent, sitting bolt upright. His expression was so solemn he looked ready to announce the verdict of the trial at any moment.

[Defendant? Oh no, I accidentally walked into the internet court.]

[This must be the plaintiff’s lawyer, and the Melon King next to her is definitely the Chief Justice of this court.]

[Clear Broth Magistrate!]

[Judge Xiao Yu! Bestow the scumbag the Crimson One-Zhang Punishment (death penalty)!]

Yi Ming had hidden this livestream from her manager, so there was no featured spot on the platform. However, the Best Actor was currently at the center of the storm, and melon-eating netizens rushed over at lightspeed.

[Little fish wifey, we meet in the melon fields once again (holding a rose in mouth)]

[Yo, I knew it! We’re all just eating the leftovers that Teacher Melon already finished eating.]

[(Scratching ears and cheeks) Little fish baby, promise me, next time there’s a melon, let your fans eat first. This makes us Zhas look really clueless.]

Someone asked if it was true that the Best Actor didn’t wash his hands after going to the restroom.

Netizens’ points of focus were always bizarre. Yu Wen repeated the question without changing his expression. The boy hesitated, then typed on his phone: [Yes.]

“Yes.”

The bullet comments instantly became lively.

Yi Ming watched for a while, her lips pouting like Psyduck. She yielded politely, “Xiao Yu, you read them.”

Xiao Yu took a deep breath.

Serious, serious, this is a serious livestream.

“The Best Actor once stated on a show that he never licks the yogurt lid, but in his early variety shows, he clearly licked it. Does he lick it or not?”

“How cheap is he? Who pays for the hotel rooms?”

“If he doesn’t wash his hands after going to the restroom, does he flush?”

Having been with the Best Actor for eight years, the boy knew far more about these trivial matters than the girlfriend did, and in much greater detail.

He hesitated for a moment, probably not expecting this kind of direction. But he had already said what he wanted to say, so indulging the netizens’ gossip mentality wouldn’t hurt.

Yu Wen took the phone he handed over, glanced at the screen, and couldn’t help but look away. Catching a glimpse from her peripheral vision, Yi Ming completely lost her composure, letting out a bizarre cackle in front of tens of thousands of netizens without any care for her image.

“He licks it. He absolutely loves licking the lids. The company crafted a noble, refined persona for him, but in reality, he doesn’t possess a shred of aristocratic aura. Who pays for the hotel room depends on whose Meituan discount is bigger. He never washes his hands after using the restroom—in winter he says the water is cold, in summer he says the water is hot. Sometimes he doesn’t flush, saying he forgot.”

[This melon is a bit smelly…]

[Throw him into the dungeon, quickly.]

[What is this? Melon. Takes a bite. Gag; What is this? Melon. Takes a bite. Gag…]

[(Looking left and right) Is nobody laughing? Can I laugh?]

[My expression is exactly the same as Yi Ming’s—disgusted, yet wanting to laugh.]

[What other dirt is there? Release it all at once! I have no other hobbies, I just like hardcore stuff.]

[Let me do it! Everyone below, listen to my command! When I say this melon is edible, then eat! Otherwise, don’t blame me if you bite into something smelly!]

[Sir is truly righteous!]

Yu Wen relayed the netizens’ words. The boy thought for a while and buried his head to type.

After typing for about half an hour, Yu Wen took the phone and saw a massive essay of at least eight hundred words.

Yi Ming took one look and couldn’t hold it in anymore. Handing the livestream over to Yu Wen, she crawled away while suppressing her laughter. It wasn’t until she crawled out of the camera’s frame that she leaned against the wall and burst into silent, explosive laughter.

Yu Wen opened his mouth, felt a laugh bubbling up, and hastily clamped it shut.

With a trembling voice, he called out to Xie Heyu, “Teacher Xie… Could you read this please?”

The bullet comments were incredibly excited, urgently hurrying him, all wanting to know what content could make the well-informed Melon King show such an expression.

Xie Heyu hesitated for a moment, put on his mask, and fell silent the exact moment he saw the phone screen.

Under the watchful eyes of the masses, he slowly read one of the bullet points aloud: “Didn’t shower for eight days in the summer, got heat rash all over his body, and lied to fans saying it was an allergy.”

[…]

[I told you it smelled.]

[Xi Su, fire the cannon!]

The second point: “Had plastic surgery, but always claimed his face was natural. Had a period of questionable aesthetics where he wanted to shave his face into an awl shape, and consistently believed that, whether he had surgery or not, he was the most handsome male in the world.”

[…My spirit has been polluted. Where’s my shoehorn? Let me slap him to death.]

[First of all, that guy surnamed Zhuang needs to apologize to me. Second of all, the netizens who asked these questions, you need to apologize to me too (closes eyes).]

[Taking ten thousand steps back, can I really not just shoot him?]

The third point: “Gained weight last winter. Lied to fans saying it was hormonal weight gain from medication. In reality, he’s healthy as a horse and can eat three bowls of white rice in one sitting.”

…

The ‘n’th point.

Teacher Xie was the god of emotional management.

Reading all the way down, his articulation was clear, his expression calm. Next to him, Yu Wen’s lips were pouting so hard they could reach the sky, yet Teacher Xie’s voice remained entirely rippleless.

It wasn’t until this point that he finally paused, showing a rather obvious hint of doubt.

“His shits are exceptionally stinky.”

[…]

[Death penalty! Death penalty!]

[I can be stinky, that’s fine. But if that guy surnamed Zhuang is stinky, death penalty!]

[I feel like the brother exposing him has endured for quite a long time…]

[The direction of this livestream is gradually becoming absurd. Netizens and you celebrities, can you all compensate me with some money?]

[So unhinged, made me laugh inexplicably.]

[Has Xiao Yu’s manager been through rehab or something? He didn’t even laugh at this.]

[The little fish next to him is suppressing his laughter so hard he’s wearing a mask of pain.]

[Brilliant, truly brilliant.]

[Judge Xiao Yu, sentence him to death! I really can’t take this anymore…]