FLME Ch46

Xie Heyu had his arms full of cherries. When Yu Wen suddenly rushed over, he had to hold them up with one hand, slightly turning his ear to listen to Yu Wen’s complaints.

After listening, he swept a glance at the living room. His excellent upbringing prevented him from saying anything. After a long silence, he took two cherries from the cardboard box and brought them to Yu Wen’s mouth.

“Try one.”

The Great Distraction Technique.

Yu Wen didn’t even care whether they were washed or not and opened his mouth instinctively. After eating it, his expression froze—the irritation solidified on his face in a very theatrical manner. After eating the second one, he licked his lips. “That’s delicious.”

Hmph, hmph. I forgive the whole world.

Xie Heyu’s expression relaxed a bit, seemingly harboring a hint of a smile. He went to the kitchen to wash the fruit. Yu Wen’s eyes hurt from being dazzled by the colorful yarn all over the floor, so he didn’t want to deal with it for the moment and strolled into the kitchen after him.

Yet Xi Su lacked any situational awareness.

“Teacher Xie! Teacher Xie!” he yelled. “Ignore everything else for now and save us first! Do you see us? I’m over here!”

Teacher Xie turned a deaf ear.

Five minutes later, Xie Heyu and Yu Wen leaned against the kitchen doorway, each holding a bowl of washed cherries.

“Should we save them?” Xie Heyu asked.

“No.” Yu Wen was as cold and ruthless as the autumn wind. “Let them float in the sea of suffering for a little while longer.”

Xi Su was practically rolled into a ball of yarn, tumbling back and forth on the floor. Chu Han was actually quite comfortable; covered in yarn, he had his head down, working on a new skein with his crochet hook. It was unclear if he was successfully crocheting anything, but his expression was incredibly serious, rivaling a scientist doing research.

After finishing a bowl of cherries, Yu Wen was happy. He finally picked up the scissors, went over, and cut the two out of the balls of yarn.

The floor was littered with yarn casualties. Yu Wen gathered the usable ones together, estimating it was enough to crochet about a dozen without a problem.

Xi Su, who had finally escaped with his life, was kicked by Yu Wen to clean up the mess.

“Teacher Chu, don’t waste your effort.” Seeing that Chu Han’s work was still a tangled mess after all that time, Yu Wen said earnestly, “Don’t waste effort in areas you don’t excel at. With this time, we should be honing our strengths…”

“Ah?” Chu Han said in a daze, “I feel like I’m pretty good at it. Look, it’s almost taking shape.”

Yu Wen: “…”

“Teacher Xie, look, hasn’t the shape of the koi already come out?”

Xie Heyu took one look at his masterpiece and lowered his head with restraint and endurance.

“…Alright.” Yu Wen stuffed an entire skein of yarn into his arms. “You keep going. This whole skein is yours, work hard.”

Based on Chu Han’s crocheting method, he wouldn’t finish a single skein of yarn even if he worked all night. Might as well let him play with it.

After cleaning the living room, Xi Su ate the jianbing guozi Xie Heyu brought, self-reliantly washed himself a handful of cherries, and after eating them, turned on the TV.

Battle Royale was a satellite TV variety show. Its update model was different from Legend of the Immortal Sect. It broadcasted on two channels during the 9:30 PM prime time slot and updated punctually at 10:00 PM on streaming platforms.

To watch the variety show as quickly as possible, one had to use the most primitive method—guarding the TV.

Yu Wen watched the satellite channel commercials appear on the LCD screen and asked, “What are you doing?”

Xi Su opened his drama-chasing snacks, leaned back on the sofa, and said with a confident tone, “I already know the ending of Legend of the Immortal Sect; next week is definitely going to be all knives. I’m not stupid enough to run straight into the knives. I’m going to watch the new variety show first to recover my vitality.”

Yu Wen: “…”

Xi Su: “Why are you looking at me? Astounded by my brilliance?”

Yu Wen’s expression was complicated to say the least.

After a long while, he turned his head back, continuing to busy himself with his handicraft enterprise, thinking to himself: Just don’t cry later.

Xi Su was actually quite looking forward to Battle Royale. For one, this was Yu Wen’s best resource to date. Second, he really had been dealt a near-fatal blow by the plot of Immortal Sect recently and desperately needed other works to divert his attention. He knew Yu Wen’s acting skills; they were very immersive. If he immersed himself in another storyline, watching the grand finale of Immortal Sect next week wouldn’t feel so agonizing.

Xi Su felt his arrangement was simply flawless.

When the signature instrumental music of Battle Royale began playing, Chu Han also looked up, glancing at the screen while crocheting.

During a break in crocheting his koi, Yu Wen glanced over and realized Xie Heyu was also watching. The light from the LCD TV reflected in his pupils, his profile looking exceptionally focused.

“…” Unable to hold back, Yu Wen discreetly poked Teacher Xie’s waist and offered a kind warning: “Don’t get too engrossed.”

Startled out of his thoughts by the small gesture, Xie Heyu turned slightly, lowering his voice so the other two couldn’t hear: “Is it a tragedy?”

Seeing that he didn’t mind spoilers, Yu Wen nodded honestly.

“Have you watched Immortal Sect?” Yu Wen whispered.

Xie Heyu nodded.

Yu Wen’s gaze instantly filled with pity.

“Then I suggest you don’t watch this episode of the variety show right now…” Yu Wen beckoned gently, practically pressing his lips to Xie Heyu’s ear. “Watching both together will have terrifying lethality. Plus, the grand finale of Immortal Sect next week is purely angst…”

“What are you two whispering about?” Xi Su spoke up out of the blue, making Yu Wen jump. The blue-haired guy’s suspicious gaze swept back and forth between them. “What are you saying that we’re not allowed to hear?”

“I’m spoiling the ending for Teacher Xie,” Yu Wen said. “Do you want to hear it?”

Xi Su: “…”

He didn’t say whether he wanted to or not, just dragged his beanbag chair and silently moved further away.

The TV soon reached the first minor climax. After scanning the books in the study and unlocking the mechanism on the door, Yu Wen walked out of the room alone.

The production crew did a fantastic job rendering the atmosphere. The leisurely B-roll shots and the soaring-and-dipping cello music perfectly pulled the audience into the story’s setting, making them feel as if they were truly inside a secluded, echoing medieval castle, with countless mysteries and stories hidden in corners waiting to be uncovered.

Xi Su wasn’t very interested in the guests solving puzzles and clearing levels. For him, watching a variety show was the same as watching a drama—he didn’t like using his brain. Although it was a deduction-oriented variety show, to him, it was no different from a drama.

The bard’s short poem earlier was clearly a hook thrown out by the main plotline. Xi Su was already sucked in, staring at the TV screen, involuntarily guessing the plot.

“A cruciform longsword? Is it the Hero? Why did he say he can’t get out?” He turned to look at Yu Wen, confusion flickering in his clear eyes, completely acting like someone who had forgotten the pain once the scar healed.

Yu Wen looked up from his yarn, glanced at the TV screen, and the moment he opened his mouth, Xi Su remembered the terror of being dominated by spoilers and frantically made several “time-out” hand gestures at him.

“Stop! Stop! I wasn’t asking you! Don’t say it!”

…Yu Wen obediently zipped his lips shut.

In a sense, Xi Su’s reaction mirrored the viewing experience of most audiences. Yu Wen’s tolerance for stories was strong enough, yet thinking back to the story of the Hero’s squad still made his heart ache. He was a bit worried whether the audience could withstand such a peerless, devastating knife. With Xi Su as a ready-made example in front of him, he decided to observe which plot points elicited the strongest reactions from viewers, so he could coordinate with the production crew to provide appropriate comfort later on.

Having shut Yu Wen up, Xi Su had no one to discuss the plot with. Chu Han didn’t like talking while watching TV, and Xie Heyu wasn’t the type to enthusiastically discuss things, so he had no choice but to open the bullet comments.

The comments discussed a multitude of disparate topics, which to Xi Su seemed a bit baffling.

[Awoooo, Xiao Koi’s mama is here!]

[A new season, a new beginning, a new story.]

[The costumes, makeup, and props in Battle Royale are truly impeccable, even more detailed than standard dramas… All the teachers’ western fantasy stylings look so good.]

[Daniel Li’s silver hair texture is invincible…]

[The new regular this season, that Teacher Melon King, has really nice body proportions—narrow waist and long legs.]

[Hahahahahaha, Teacher Melon King! Why does that sound so weirdly polite!]

[2G internet speed here, I don’t remember what his name is… I just remember his nickname, Melon King.]

[Teacher Melon King’s voice sounds nice too, we’re blessed this season.]

[Wait, what? I don’t think he’s said more than a few words yet…]

[The text information in the show is all dubbed by the guests in post-production. If I’m not mistaken, he’s the Hero, and that segment of the Hero’s journal just now was dubbed by him.]

[What?! The guests dub it in post-production?! Have you Battle Royale fans always eaten this well?!]

[Based on my experience, not only is there dubbing, but there are also extra mini-theater scenes.]

[It’s just the production crew’s basic operations. Enjoy.]

The TV broadcast didn’t allow for scrubbing the progress bar. Xi Su recalled the Hero’s journal from earlier; he only remembered a fighting-spirited final syllable—a clear, brisk voice somewhere between a youth and a grown man.

He turned his head and asked Yu Wen, “Did you dub the voiceover for Battle Royale yourself?”

Yu Wen sat cross-legged on the sofa, expertly looping the yarn. The little koi in his hand was gradually taking shape.

He didn’t speak, just gave a nod.

Xi Su hallucinated his grandmother, who used to knit sweaters while watching TV. He felt that if Yu Wen put on a pair of glasses, that benevolent, grandmotherly vibe would be complete.

Xi Su got goosebumps all over and quickly shook the absurd thought out of his head. However, when he looked to the side—Xie Heyu was wearing a pair of glasses, head down crocheting yarn, looking very “benevolent.”

…This damn imagination.

Xi Su closed his eyes for a second, turned around, and stared at the TV screen, refusing to look back again.

Shortly after he turned around, the sofa yarn-crocheting duo started whispering.

“Teacher Xie, are you nearsighted?” Yu Wen squinted at Xie Heyu’s gold-rimmed glasses, looking once, then looking again.

“No, they’re blue-light blocking glasses.”

When he looked for the third time, Xie Heyu hooked his index finger on the nose bridge of the glasses, his knuckle slightly bent, and slid the glasses down his nose.

“Here.”

The variety show had reached the Grand Archmage’s diary.

Daniel Li’s voice was very gentle, the kind of gentleness settled by time, with a hint of languor. Xi Su was completely captivated by the plot, forgetting to eat his snacks.

The bullet comments were just as immersed.

[Wow wow wow, feels like another ensemble cast… Yay! Long live ensemble casts!]

[Even though the Grand Archmage’s diary is very short, I feel like I can already see the daily lives of the Hero’s squad getting to know each other.]

[This reminds me of the drama next door…]

[Good job, Teacher Melon. I dub you the number one person for ensemble dramas in the entertainment circle.]

[My baby’s surname is Yu (makes a weak sound)]

[Okay, Teacher Melon.]

[Hahahahahaha, is no one going to call him ‘Ghost Killer’? That title is so cool, and he gave it to himself!]

[When he used his sword to suck up that little yellow bird, I literally passed out laughing. That is definitely not a skill! The production crew never gives out such broken skills!]

[You can tell by his expression at the time. That awkward yet polite smile hhhh, it was definitely an accident.]

[The subtitles are even funnier: ‘The Hero’s exclusive secret technique development! It’s a clever design by the production crew~’ Hahahahahaha]

[If the sky falls, the production crew’s mouth will hold it up.]

[Production crew: Bring that broken sword of yours when we go to court! Fury.jpg]

The comments couldn’t stay serious for more than three seconds, straying off-topic as they chatted. At this point, everyone was still unaware of the severity of the situation, happily guessing the subsequent developments.

Xi Su said to Chu Han, “I wonder if the Evil Dragon will appear. There are only six guests, so it doesn’t seem like there are any extra roles. Could it be an NPC…?”

Chu Han kept his head down, crocheting yarn without uttering a word.

A moment later, he looked up thoughtfully, as if remembering something.

His memory was slightly better than Xi Su’s.

That Hero’s journal that appeared at the very beginning… didn’t it say the Grand Archmage and the Elf died?

Could it be that these people… are all dead?

Xi Su went to the kitchen to wash some fruit. When he came back, the TV was showing a shot of Yu Wen gazing up at the dragon-shaped glass ornament on the dome.

There was no BGM, just a long, silent gaze.

Most of the plot related to the Evil Dragon hadn’t been unlocked yet. Yu Wen’s gaze sparked numerous speculations, with the comments buzzing, suspecting if he had found a new clue.

[Such a long close-up, there’s definitely foreshadowing. Teacher Melon either discovered something, or it’s related to the later plot.]

[Even though I don’t know what happened, this part makes me feel like something’s wrong…]

[The production crew wouldn’t put in a close-up for no reason… Could it be that the Hero and the Evil Dragon are a CP?]

[Motherfucker, I’m laughing my head off. Why are you guys cooking up a meal for yourselves while guessing the plot?! You… you CP brainrots…]

[Chasing a show without shipping CPs is like eating food without salt!]

[Start shipping!]

[Table for one for the Evil-Hero ship!]

[Great, great, great, we’re shipping non-humans now. The world truly belongs to us omnivores!]

Xi Su’s shipping tastes weren’t that open yet; he wasn’t interested in the bond between the Evil Dragon and the Hero. He just thought Yu Wen looked pretty handsome here. His expression was mottled in light and shadow, his emotions indiscernible. The full-body shot showed off his straight posture, broad shoulders, small head, and top-tier proportions. Holding a sword, he looked like a melancholy, profound heartthrob.

Xi Su was very jealous. As a singer-dancer, he had never had such a classic, god-tier photo.

He glanced back. The two on the sofa were still focused on crocheting. The gold-rimmed glasses—which to Xi Su looked no different from reading glasses—were now on Yu Wen’s face.

Two or three koi were already piled on the table. Taking advantage of a commercial break on TV, Xi Su went over to take a look. The two had crocheted quite well, with even tension and neat stitches.

He picked one up and negotiated with Yu Wen, “Can I say I crocheted this one later?”

Yu Wen: “Why?”

Xi Su: “I’m preparing to craft a new persona of being deft-handed and skillful for myself.”

Yu Wen: “…”

Chu Han couldn’t help but say, “You can’t even clean up properly, yet you want to be deft-handed and skillful.”

Xi Su brought out a set of twisted logic he learned from his previous company. “It’s a persona, the main point is that it’s fake. If it were real, would it still be called a persona?”

Yu Wen: “We don’t do that at Starlight Media. We’re a slapdash troupe, we don’t have money to buy marketing for you.”

Xi Su thought about it, and it made sense.

So he said, “Then can I appear on camera during your livestream later? I want to leech some of your popularity.”

Yu Wen was amused by his sincerity.

Looking at Battle Royale updating on the TV, Yu Wen had an interesting idea in his mind.

He said, “Why don’t we just livestream us watching the variety show? A live reaction stream, watching it with the viewers, giving the netizens the most authentic reactions.”

Xi Su thought this was a great proposal, instantly cheering up.

“Sure!”