FLME Ch22: Program Broadcast

Yu Wen’s first reaction was: I have a new meme now?

He immediately poured himself a glass of water, sat on the sofa, and browsed Weibo. Mountain Courtyard was hanging in the top ten trending searches, and sweeping down, he could see many rising related topics.

#Sorry to meet “Mountain Courtyard” this way#

#Classic scene of undercovers backstabbing each other#

#You guys are playing a very new undercover game#

#What could Yu Wen possibly know#

Yu Wen clicked into the highest-ranking trending topic. The hot page was full of edits. Contemporary netizens had incredibly fast hand speed; the update had been out for less than two hours, yet edited clips were already flying everywhere.

The one with the highest views was the undercover closed-loop between Song Chenglei, Tong Li, and Xi Su. Clicking into it played Song Chenglei’s famous quote: “I suspect Xi Su.”

The next second, Yu Wen’s indescribable expression appeared on the screen.

His fair, delicate features were covered in sweat, his black bangs damp. Likely having just heard something unbelievable, his brows furrowed slightly, and the corners of his eyes—which normally had a slight upward curve carrying a hint of allure—were forced wide open.

In just one short second, countless complex emotions of wanting to speak but stopping, and stopping but wanting to speak, flashed through his eyes, finally turning into an affirmative, “Mhm.”

Anyone who had watched this episode knew what this “Mhm” meant.

It meant Song Chenglei had guessed right.

The moment this “Mhm” came out, the bullet screen comments couldn’t hold back, and rows upon rows of colorful, varied “Mhm”s flooded the screen.

[Mhm.]

[(Everything you say is right): Mhm.]

[(Opens mouth) (Closes it) (Thomas spin 360 degrees) (Deeply): Mhm.]

[(Three parts coldness, three parts disdain, four parts casualness): Mhm.]

[(Too busy washing my shoes to wash your brain): Mhm.]

[(Takes off pants) (Poops) (Doesn’t finish) (Pinches it off): Mhm.]

[(Hands toilet paper to the commenter above): Mhm.]

[(Sir, you cannot relieve yourself here): Mhm.]

……

The background music was cheerful, and every word spoken by every person in the clip was completely serious, but the more serious it was, the funnier it seemed.

Yu Wen scrolled down a bit. The fact that the trending topic climbed so fast likely involved some pushing from the production team, but it was undeniable that the audience ate this up. The view counts and discussion volumes were climbing steadily, far exceeding other trending topics.

He opened the edited video and watched it again, feeling a bit of novelty.

This was his first time seeing his own face on a phone screen. It looked different from what he saw in the mirror, and different from what he saw behind the monitor. He wasn’t sure if the production team or the video editor had added a filter, but it made his lips look red and his teeth white, looking so tender that water could be pinched out of his cheeks.

Thinking of this, Yu Wen remembered he still hadn’t watched the actual episode, so he opened the video app.

The episode started with a scene of Xi Su and Chu Han waiting under a streetlamp. The light was dim yellow, their shadows stretched long, and the two were chatting idly, giving off a tranquil vibe of peaceful years.

The show rarely aired footage of picking up flying guests, so this episode was quite unexpected. The barrage comments were very cooperative; whatever food the production team served, they eagerly devoured. Even though this CP had been going through storms lately and seemed to show precursors of a bad ending, they were living for the moment—if there’s wine today, get drunk today; if there’s food today, eat today.

[Smells so good.]

[So sweet, old married couple vibes, Xi-Han saikou!]

[Wuwuwu, stay together for a lifetime, okay? Get married, okay?]

[Queerbaiting us a bit before the divorce, huh?]

[Whatever, destroy it, I’m full anyway (dies happily).]

[First time seeing a guest pickup scene, surely it’s just to show us this moment.]

[What’s so great about picking up a flying guest? It’s inevitably to give us sugar (convinced).]

The middle was interspersed with clips of other guests.

Around the four-minute mark, a commercial van bearing the production team’s logo slowly approached from a distance.

A solitary streetlamp cast a dim yellow glow over the ground. The car door slid open, and someone jumped out of the van, a small bag slung over one shoulder. It was a thin, slender figure. The camera angled from the bottom up, freezing on his smiling face.

When it came to Yu Wen’s appearance, the adjective passersby used most frequently was “delicate.” When he was young, elders often said he was as delicate as a doll. As he grew up, that doll-like delicacy made him lack a bit of sharpness; without deep, three-dimensional contours, one could always catch a glimpse of pure boyishness on his face.

So he looked young. At eighteen he looked eighteen, and at twenty-two he still looked eighteen.

But because of this, he possessed a completely unique talent, especially in the entertainment industry: his pureness perfectly softened the aggressiveness that typically comes with a delicate face, thereby amplifying another emotion.

—Affinity, or audience appeal.

Xie Jiamao had mingled in the industry for years and seen countless people, yet he always firmly believed that Yu Wen would one day explode in popularity. That wasn’t baseless confidence; it was a first instinct built on years of accumulated experience.

[oi…]

[Beijing time 20:03, I have seen my heartthrob male guest.]

[Isn’t the country encouraging marriage? I want this one.]

[I thought he looked pretty good in the preview, but looking at him now, he’s not just ‘pretty good’.]

[Would it kill that broken preview to cut to his full face!]

[This show really has so many nobodies, which nobody is this?]

[Is he a rookie? I recognize most of the nobodies in the entertainment circle, but not him.]

[What’s his name?]

[Don’t tell me, I’m afraid I’ll write his name on my marriage certificate tomorrow.]

[So they didn’t include this clip to push CP, it was to distribute my boyfriend!]

[Production team, you great people!]

He jogged over with small, quick steps. His hair was slightly messy, a smile lifted the corners of his lips, and his eyes reflected the hazy halo of the streetlamp like a tranquil lake, strikingly bright.

As he ran, he bowed, “Teacher Chu, Teacher Xi, hello teachers…”

[Wuwu, such a polite baby, so good, so good.]

[Come here and let mama spoil you for a bit.]

At this moment, the audience sending bullet comments had clearly forgotten his performance in the preview.

For the next ten minutes, Yu Wen vividly demonstrated to everyone what it meant to “never judge a book by its cover.”

“I’m younger than you, how could I let you call me ge?! Ge, my good gege!”

“How could I have a backbone? That is simply alarmist talk!”

“After I die, please divide my property into three parts: one part to pay off my Ant Huabei credit, one part for the tab at the downstairs convenience store, and one part for community garden Dog ge‘s dog food…”

“It’s merely a mountain road, at worst I’ll die here!”

[Bro, you owe quite a lot.]

[Who? Community Dog ge?]

[What, you even fight dogs for food?]

[Excuse me, is your chattiness innate or acquired? If it’s acquired, maybe you should get it treated.]

[Just a measly little life, at worst I just lose it, hhhh]

[Hahahaha I knew it, people who look this good are mostly crazy!]

[I like him!]

[Beautiful skins are a dime a dozen, but an interesting soul is one in ten thousand, and he has both!]

Chu Han hadn’t said much along the way. Those who followed the show knew he had a quiet personality, which was why the Xi-Han CP seemed so uniquely special.

But after Yu Wen arrived, he showed obvious signs of breaking character.

Especially at the end, when he couldn’t bear it anymore and poked Yu Wen in the waist with a stick, telling him to get lost, yet his body honestly reached out to support Yu Wen’s wrist.

[Chu Chu seems to have mentioned that they are friends.]

[My Han-bao is much livelier, so touched.]

[These two grouped together is exactly me and my friend.]

[This is exactly how I mess with my friend! And my friend also pokes me with a stick like that!]

[This bro is a pure-blooded E-personality, hahahaha, no need to worry about him not blending in.]

The first half hour was filled with a joyful atmosphere. The punchlines were dense, the screen was full of memes, and it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say it was explosively funny, pushing the mood straight to a climax.

At the undercover draw, the screen was completely filled with “hahahaha.”

But immediately after, the barrage couldn’t “haha” anymore.

The draw results had to be shown to the camera.

After Song Chenglei drew, he curled his lips into a meaningful smile and unfolded the slip of paper in his hand. Printed starkly in the center was a black-and-white ghost face.

At this point, the audience lords were still very calm.

[Oh? Telling us right now?]

[If this were the escape room show next door, they wouldn’t let us see this paper until the very last second.]

[Let me see which lucky guy gets stolen from the worst tomorrow.]

[Can Teacher Song pull it off? Sister Tong is very sharp.]

[Don’t get caught too fast, leave some face for Teacher Song…]

Tong Li followed closely. She glanced down, her emotions entirely normal, and calmly unfolded the slip of paper.

A black-and-white ghost face.

[Fuck—]

[Two undercovers?]

[The production team only said there were undercovers just now, seems they really didn’t specify the amount.]

[Always digging pits in places like this, I submit.]

[How do you play this?]

[It’s over, the two smartest ones are grouped together, and the remaining kids are more naive than the last.]

[Let me see who can still carry the team… Forget it, you guys fend for yourselves.]

[They’ll probably be robbed until they don’t even have their underwear left tomorrow.]

Just as the audience thought this was the limit, right after, Xi Su also unfolded a black-and-white ghost face.

[What a weird grouping.]

[They say it’s drawing lots, but I don’t believe it.]

[Is it really not rigged? The remaining three—two are inner-circle rookies, and one is the sweet and naive Chu Han. Deliberately bullying them, right?]

[At least leave them Xi Su, this bro works the hardest.]

[Those three thin arms and legs, even without undercovers, they wouldn’t be able to out-task the other three.]

The three sweeties in the audience’s eyes had absolutely no idea what had happened and were smiling and throwing peace signs at the camera.

Yu Wen and Chu Han stood close together. They were similar in build, but the pretty boy with the teardrop mole at the corner of his eye looked like a cartilaginous animal, leaning softly in Chu Han’s direction.

Like a pair of cute conjoined twins.

[Report! Two sweeties are whispering!]

[They don’t have any CP vibes at all, but it feels so cozy.]

[Going off-topic for one second, for the sake of their cuteness, can they be let off a little bit…]

[A total of three undercovers, there can’t be more, right?]

[No, if there’s one more, it’s not an undercover war, it’s a good guy war.]

[The production team still hasn’t learned how to edit. Showing all the results now, how are they going to build a tense and thrilling atmosphere later?]

[I was just about to say, isn’t it inappropriate to show the results at this time…]

[There’s still an hour and a half left, I reckon they’ll lose steam. I’ll just make do and watch.]

At this time, the audience didn’t know that the truly high-energy moments were still to come.

An advertisement played in the middle. Just then, Xie Jiamao called, so Yu Wen hit pause and went to the balcony to answer the phone.

“Boss!” He figured his boss must be quite excited right now. One of the rules of being a corporate slave: never appear more composed than your boss.

So he said, full of energy, “I saw the trending searches, I’m actually really on the trending list!”

Xie Jiamao: “Hahahahaha this is just the beginning, Little Yu, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to be on the trending list in the future!”

Yu Wen: “Really? I’m looking forward to it.”

After exchanging a couple of flatteries, getting back to business, Xie Jiamao said, “I’m calling to ask, have you seen that really popular variety show these past two years, Battle Royale?”

Yu Wen really hadn’t seen it, considering he had only been in this world for a full three months.

“Find some time to watch it. The producer of Battle Royale contacted me. Their regular cast list for the third season hasn’t been finalized yet. The producer’s intention is to invite you to sign on for a few flying episodes, but as your boss, I think we can fight for a regular spot.”

Xie Jiamao paused for a moment and started laughing foolishly, “Battle Royale is a prime-time satellite TV variety show, full panoramic shooting, with a different theme every episode and different filming locations. They assign roles and styling to guests based on the theme… Little Yu, it doesn’t matter if you can’t carry the whole game. The most important thing is that the production team will dress you up beautifully every episode. If you can become a regular, you’ll have twelve looks created by top domestic styling teams!”

Yu Wen understood. His boss was raising him like an action figure collectible.

However, excellent makeup and styling did seem to be a sharp weapon for breaking out of one’s niche. The cost of a variety show character was far lower than a supporting role in a film or drama, and the gap periods were shorter.

Hanging up the phone, he opened a search engine to look up information on Battle Royale and casually opened Word, preparing to make a document for future analysis.

Battle Royale was the first infinite-flow variety show in the country. To date, there were no similar substitutes. Whether it was the core script or the guest lineup, they weren’t things other variety shows could easily replicate. Starting from the second season, every episode was shot on real locations. The production team had to scout locations across the country in advance and build filming sets. The barren mountains and wild ridges in the show were usually genuine barren mountains and wild ridges.

This type of variety show had always been a favorite among young audiences. It was brain-burning and fast-paced, filled with twists and touching moments. Even through a screen, one could feel immersed and experience an adrenaline rush. Moreover, thanks to the numerous award-winning domestic and international styling teams specially hired by the production team, every episode always produced one or two visual masterpieces. Even without using one’s brain, just looking at them was an enjoyment.

For Battle Royale to extend an olive branch was truly beyond Yu Wen’s expectations. After all, his status was still a bit too low for such a national-level variety show. As for the regular spot his boss mentioned, to his ears, it was simply a fantasy and completely out of consideration.

After finishing two episodes on double speed to get a general understanding of the worldview, Yu Wen saved his half-finished document and glanced at the time. It was already 11 PM.

He remembered the trending searches and picked up his phone to check the current situation. As soon as he lit up the screen, he saw densely packed notification messages.

Sure enough, his boss was popping champagne at halftime in the group chat, implying between the lines that our Little Yu was no longer the Little Yu of yesterday; he was now a man who had his own solo trending search…

Yu Wen briefly scanned it. It was basically a one-man show by Xie Jiamao. Xie Heyu’s messages stopped yesterday, and Director Gao was currently location-scouting in some remote mountain valley with no cell signal, having been basically unreachable for half a month.

Swiping the main page, a message from an unfamiliar nickname stood out prominently.

No Nickname: [You weren’t lying to me, right?]

No Nickname: [My manager showed me the contract, it has content related to CP business written on it.]

He didn’t recall at first, but the moment the other party mentioned the contract, Yu Wen immediately knew who it was.

Yu Wen gave this “Mr. No Nickname” the remark “Blue Hair”.

Yu Wen: [What kind of contract?]

The other party had sent the message two or three hours ago. Yu Wen figured the reply wouldn’t be that prompt, so while waiting, he opened Weibo and continued browsing the trending searches.

#Classic scene of undercovers backstabbing each other# was still hanging at third on the trending list.

Scrolling down, his boss wasn’t actually exaggerating; there really was a solo trending search for him.

#Yu Wen#

Just the name, no prefixes or suffixes.

Yu Wen remembered in the past, when he was eating melons and watching entertainment industry artists’ scandals collapse, there would be trending searches with just a name like this. He instantly felt a chill run down his spine and hurriedly clicked in to take a look.

Bored netizens had made an overview chart of his acting experience for him, and thoughtfully attached a conveyor belt link at the bottom, used to promote this incredibly new rookie.

But counting completely, there were only two links. One was a playback of the last livestream, and the other was the link to this episode of the show.

Truly barren.

Netizens who came in to dig for content had a breakdown.

[Where are the dramas?! Where are the new dramas! Serve them up while they’re hot!]

[Nothing else? The company won’t even shoot a vlog for you?]

[More than that, there isn’t even a selfie on his Weibo.]

[If he doesn’t post selfies, he’s bad; netizens want to see their new wife, netizens are good.]

[The commenter above is an honorable judge!]

Yu Wen breathed a sigh of relief first, then immediately became thoughtful.

He didn’t love taking selfies, but a vlog was something to consider… He should find time to discuss it with his boss another day. He wondered what content they would film…

While thinking, his phone vibrated.

Blue Hair: [Image.jpg]

Blue Hair: [This kind.]

Yu Wen opened the original image; it was indeed a common variety show contract.

But he thought of a possibility.

Yu Wen: [Flip to the back and look, did Chu Han sign it?]

Half a minute later.

Xi Su: [No.]

Yu Wen: [Oh, you idiot.]

Xi Su: [??? Why are you cursing? I haven’t even cursed yet.]

Xi Su had always only been on the receiving end of getting his ear pulled and told not to swear; he had never been dealt with so cleanly and crisply with a curse word by someone before, especially in the entertainment industry. He felt a bit wronged for a moment.

Yu Wen also rarely cursed, but this time he really couldn’t help it.

Yu Wen: [A contract without the signatures of the involved parties has no legal effect. Do you not even know this?]

Xi Su: [Of course I know! I just didn’t think of it at the moment, fuck.]

Yu Wen: [Read more books, read more newspapers, curse less, sleep more.]

Xi Su: […Why do you sound just like my grandma?]

Yu Wen: [Because I love you deeply, just like your grandma. Fake smile finger heart.jpg]

Xi Su: [What do we do now? There are still two episodes of the variety show left. If we suddenly distance ourselves, I’m afraid there will be backlash from the audience.]

Yu Wen: [You’re asking me about this? Are we in some very close relationship?]

Xi Su: [Aren’t we friends? Hitting it off at first sight, you said so.]

Yu Wen: […Fine.]

He was forced to bear the bitter fruit of his own past nonsense. He thought about it and told Xi Su to go talk to Chu Han. Chu Han wasn’t an unreasonable person; if Xi Su’s actions were purely his own will and not influenced by Feng Chengzhou, even if he really wanted to pull a one-stop-shop scheme of stepping on him to rise, Chu Han would probably forgive him.

Teacher Chu simply had a compassionate heart.

Just cooperate on the business side for the final two episodes, part peacefully and happily. As long as the company didn’t pull any shady operations afterward, forging ties decently and separating decently wouldn’t be a big deal.

Xi Su humbly asked for advice: [How do we avoid the company’s shady operations?]

Yu Wen thought to himself, how would I know?

He thought about it, but truly had no clue, so he threw his hands up: [Just change companies.]

After dealing with Xi Su, Yu Wen finally reopened the episode.

It was already 11:30 PM. He was afraid he’d have to stay up late tonight. Thinking this, Yu Wen let out a sleepy yawn.

The draw determined the undercover candidates. Early the next morning, the three undercovers received their task cards.

The screen magnified the details of the task cards, showing two empty brackets waiting to be filled.

“What does this mean? We choose ourselves?”

Song Chenglei held a pen and read the task card aloud. His task card said: ( ) directly touches ( )’s toes, Song Chenglei steals 2 points.

“Is this letting me choose a victim?” He faced the camera, revealing a smile full of guilt. “This is way too much. After this episode airs, won’t I and the lucky person I choose end up never speaking to each other again?”

The exact same scene played out in Tong Li’s room.

Her task card was: ( ) directly touches ( )’s shoulder, Tong Li steals 2 points.

“The shoulder isn’t a terribly private area, but normal variety show flows won’t have too many opportunities to casually throw an arm over someone’s shoulder. First, I exclude the guys. Physical contact between opposite sexes is generally quite rare… Wait, since the second bracket can be filled with anything, doesn’t that mean the first bracket doesn’t necessarily have to be me either? I can choose anyone from this episode’s guests, right?”

The director smiled without saying a word.

Tong Li decoded the hidden rule from his smile and decisively excluded herself from both brackets.

To eliminate suspicion, it was best for oneself to be an absolute outsider.

She didn’t think for too long, choosing someone of the same sex she was relatively close to, other than herself.

— (Xi Su) directly touches (Chu Han)’s shoulder, Tong Li steals 2 points.

[Smart!]

[Sister Tong is an old veteran. Having battled wits and courage with the production team for so many episodes, she already knows how to find an advantage from the production team’s traps.]

[I told you she couldn’t be allowed to be an undercover. Originally Teacher Song could counter her, but now Teacher Song is also an undercover. This round will be hard to play.]

Right after, Xi Su and Song Chenglei also finished choosing their persecution targets.

The moment the two men’s task cards were shown to the camera, the bullet screen completely exploded.

Xi Su pointed at his task card, looking dead serious. “I chose Teacher Song and Teacher Yu, because I figured Teacher Yu just arrived and isn’t familiar with everyone. At this time, he will definitely need the old members to take care of him. Teacher Song has always taken good care of newcomers in the team, so choosing him is safer.”

His choice was still acceptable, but the next scene, when Song Chenglei’s task card came out, was the moment that truly made the audience’s jaws drop.

Song Chenglei covered the task card and smiled intriguingly.

“I’ve recorded variety shows for so many years after all, and I’ve been on brain-burning shows too. My IQ might not necessarily be higher than everyone else’s, but I always have a little bit of experience—”

He moved his hand away.

(Yu Wen) directly touches (Yu Wen)’s toes, Song Chenglei steals 2 points.

“I am a variety show veteran.”

[Fuck]

[Fuck]

[So sly hahahaha…]

[Honestly, I thought of this, but it probably won’t be easy. Who touches their own shoes for no reason?]

Song Chenglei: “I just went out and took a look around, and noticed that among all the members, only Little Yu’s shoes are white. White shoes get dirty easily, and it’s easy to get mud on them in the mountains. As long as I see mud on them, I’ll just remind him to wipe his shoes.”

[666]

[This is a variety show veteran right here, bold and meticulous.]

[What I care about is that two undercovers chose this flying guest named Yu Wen. I’m afraid this teacher will be living in deep water and scorching fire today.]

[Not allowed! Not allowed! This is the wife I just acknowledged! You’re not allowed to bully him!]

[I’ve already started to feel bad for him.]

[If I loudly remind him in the barrage, will he be able to see it?]

[Why don’t you just shout it with your throat?]

[The time they recorded the show and the time we watch the show are different, everyone don’t be fooled.]

[Thank you to the commenter above, otherwise I would still be kept in the dark.]