FLME Ch17: Chatterbox

They arrived at the foot of the mountain around 9 PM.

The farmhouse for recording was halfway up the mountain, requiring a half-hour hike. Chu Han was waiting at the entrance, and to Yu Wen’s surprise, Xi Su was there too.

Well, he shouldn’t have been surprised. He should have realized that this blue-haired guy was just an attachment to Chu Han.

There was only one dim street lamp at the entrance. Looking back, the mountain path was flat but deep, flanked by dense forests, reminiscent of a horror movie set. Yu Wen peeked and shivered, “You shouldn’t make a slow variety show. You should turn this into a haunted house, let artists come and experience it, and film their ugly reactions. It would definitely make a fortune.”

Yu Wen would babble when nervous. After finishing, he realized it was quiet beside him. Chu Han was slightly open-mouthed, not knowing how to respond, and Xi Su looked at him in surprise.

Yu Wen turned to the staff member who picked him up and pretended to be calm, “I’ll restrain myself.”

The staff member held back laughter, thinking it was fine if he kept talking like this, and said, “It’s okay, Teacher Yu. As long as you’re happy.”

Yu Wen pouted, “But if I’m happy, you won’t be.”

Staff member: “That’s not important. You don’t have to respect us so much.”

Yu Wen took the advice, “Alright. ‘Mountain Courtyard’ is truly a tolerant family.”

Chu Han showed the same expression as in the last live stream.

—A mix of surprise and a bit of respect.

Yu Wen greeted him familiarly and then looked at Xi Su.

Artists from talent shows have good looks, different from the structural beauty and flow desired by big-screen actors. Idols on stage focus more on appearance. They don’t need to blend with the environment; they need to fully captivate the audience, making the spotlight shine solely for them.

This was the first time Yu Wen had seen this blue-haired person face-to-face in private, and he couldn’t help but carefully scrutinize his brows and eyes.

To be precise, he somewhat resembled Feng Chengzhou.

The male lead was a traditional handsome man with sharp eyebrows and bright eyes, exuding an imposing aura like a lion in the jungle, with an inherent arrogance born from long-term nobility. Compared to Feng Chengzhou, Xi Su was more flamboyant; a mere raise of his eyebrows exuded arrogance, carrying a unique, young, and immature rebelliousness.

The contrast between his appearance and personality was key to his fan appeal.

“Brother Yu Wen,” on screen, Xi Su had a slightly shy and bashful personality. The camera was recording, and he had been waiting for Yu Wen to speak, but Yu Wen’s gaze had become vacant, and he had zoned out during the recording.

Xi Su raised his hand to rub his nose. When these small actions appeared, the intimidating aura brought by his appearance was completely diminished. Despite being over 1.8 meters tall, he suddenly seemed adorable.

“Hello, I’m Xi Su. I heard you are Brother Chu Han’s friend. Nice to meet you.”

Yu Wen grasped the hand he extended and, after a beat, reacted, “Brother? May I ask how old you are?”

Xi Su: “22.”

Yu Wen: “Which month?”

Xi Su: “January…”

“I’m younger than you! How can I let you call me brother?!” Yu Wen hurriedly bowed deeply, full of shame, “Brother, my good brother, my apologies.”

The staff almost couldn’t hold back their laughter.

Where did Teacher Chu find this gem? He’s a natural for variety shows!

Xi Su probably had never dealt with someone even more “sincere” than himself, appearing somewhat flustered.

After a few more simple greetings, they finally began their climb up the mountain.

They were all artists, not necessarily very fit, but Chu Han and the others had already been up and down the mountain for almost half a month, so they were at least more adapted than Yu Wen.

Yu Wen’s lifelong ambition was to be a slacker, so it was a miracle he even managed to climb.

“Teacher Chu.” Not even ten minutes into the climb, he started looking for help, “If you’re willing to support me up the mountain, I will live in gratitude for you for the rest of my life.”

Since he was the guest Chu Han had invited, Chu Han dutifully lent him a hand.

Yu Wen leaned against Chu Han, eyes half-closed, nearly shedding dramatic tears, “Having such a friend, I’d be willing to win ten million in the lottery.”

Xi Su saw how hard it was for the two of them and suggested, “How about I carry you?”

“How dare I? Teacher Xi, don’t worry about us. This fragile body has its own dignity. Even if I die on this path today, I won’t let anyone carry me.”

Two minutes after saying this.

“Teacher Chu, if you’re willing to carry me…”

Chu Han: “Where’s your dignity?”

Yu Wen: “How could I have any dignity? That’s just a wild rumor!”

Chu Han didn’t carry him; Chu Han couldn’t carry him.

The two were of similar build and height. Teacher Chu already supporting him was an extraordinary kindness.

Yu Wen found two sticks in the bushes, handed one to Chu Han, and the two hunched over, trembling as they used them as crutches. Yu Wen couldn’t help but recite a poem: “With bamboo staff and straw sandals, lighter than a horse, I’ll go and return with a gallant heart, like the twin peaks of Kunlun.”

Chu Han: “…”

In the last ten minutes, Yu Wen was utterly exhausted, panting heavily. He looked at the camera brother and said, “The following words are my last will: After my death, please divide my property into three parts: one to repay my Ant Credit Pay later, one to repay the debt at the downstairs convenience store, and one to repay Brother Dog’s food in the community garden…”

The staff had never seen someone so talkative in their life.

Chu Han hadn’t either. He pushed Yu Wen’s arm, trying to shut him up, “Talk less… you’ll catch your breath better that way…”

Before climbing the mountain, Yu Wen’s fair face had now turned into a red apple, his head was covered in sweat, yet his spirits were surprisingly good.

He waved his hand energetically and said, “A mere mountain path, at worst I’ll die here, what’s so scary about that!”

Chu Han was silent for a moment and couldn’t hold back, bursting into laughter.

“If the sky falls, your mouth will hold it up.” Chu Han poked Yu Wen’s lower back with his stick, “Get going, hurry up.”

Xi Su walked beside them the entire time, like an outsider unable to blend into the familiar atmosphere. He barely managed to get a word in edgewise—Yu Wen’s train of thought was more erratic than a roller coaster. If he didn’t proactively include others, no one could keep up with him.

—

The originally planned half-hour climb took them forty minutes.

When they reached the courtyard, the lights were still on inside, and the resident guests came out to greet them.

“Welcome, welcome, welcome new friends.” “Hello, Xiao Yu, I’m Tong Li, I’m also an actor…” “Hello, hello…”

There were five regulars on “Mountain Courtyard,”  excluding Xi Su and Chu Han, there were three other guests: two women and one man.

Tong Li, a female actress, has been in the entertainment industry for over ten years, never really hitting it big. She recently gained some popularity from a cameo as a “white moonlight” character, earning the title of “treasure veteran actress.” Song Chenglei, a variety show entertainer, has been in the industry for many years, known for his ability to control the scene and self-deprecate, contributing to most of the iconic moments and laughs. Cao Lingyun, a newcomer female actress, as new as Yu Wen, currently without any aired works, hardworking and resilient, her performance on the show has been commendable.

Yu Wen shook hands with each of them. When he reached the last one, he suddenly knelt down.

Song Chenglei was startled and hurried to help him up, joking, “Although I’m old enough to be your father, I really can’t accept such a big gift…”

Yu Wen struggled a bit, couldn’t muster any strength, and smiled sweetly at Song Chenglei, “It’s okay, let the knees kneel if they want to kneel, we’re not those old-fashioned parents.”

Chu Han immediately knew he was too exhausted to stand. He casually tied two bamboo sticks together at one end with straw rope, making a movable V-shape, and clamped it under Yu Wen’s armpits.

“Give me a hand, let’s carry him to the living room to kneel. The Three Pure Ones are enshrined there, we can light three incense sticks for him.”

Yu Wen was peacefully “clamped” into the living room. Cao Lingyun wanted to light the incense, but Tong Li stopped her.

As per usual, after gathering in the living room, they would draw lots to decide who would make breakfast the next morning.

Even though Yu Wen couldn’t stand up, he could still crawl. After everyone sat down, he plopped down right next to Chu Han.

Xi Su, who walked in last: “…”

Yu Wen lifted his innocent, pure eyes to look at Xi Su, “Brother Xi Su, sit down.”

On Chu Han’s left sat Song Chenglei, and on his right was Yu Wen, leaving no room for Xi Su.

At this point, it was impossible to ask Yu Wen, an “injured person,” to give up his seat. Xi Su maintained a forced smile and sat directly across from Chu Han.

While Chu Han found him reckless and impulsive, he was also filled with gratitude, unable to resist sending him a message under the table: 【Thank you.】

Yu Wen propped his chin with one hand, tapping the screen with the other to type: 【I promised you.】

【Anytime, anywhere! Guardian Angel, bravely charging!】

The production team brought over the lottery box.

Tong Li, with sharp eyes, noticed that the lottery box was different from usual, “Is there a new task today?”

The production team’s lottery boxes were always roughly made, just for show, sometimes even having the guests write a few notes to draw lots. But today, they brought an acrylic lottery box, with a black and white ghost face printed on the transparent side.

“What is this?” Song Chenglei rotated the lottery box, seeing several differently colored small balls inside. He examined it closely, “Is it for grouping by color? Look at the colors?”

“Why would they show you the colors if it were for grouping by color?” Tong Li sharply retorted.

Song Chenglei helplessly spread his hands, “At least leave me some dignity as a senior in front of the camera.”

The two of them had similar experience, knew each other before recording the show, and teasing each other was a common occurrence. Everyone was used to it but still couldn’t help laughing.

The production team chimed in: “You guessed right, there is a new task tomorrow. Combining the wishes of old members with Teacher Yu’s creative ideas, we have merged the two. Tomorrow will be a double-team mode, but not everyone will be in sync with you. ‘Gold Theif’ will be lurking among you, stealing points through designated body contact, commonly known as undercover.”

As soon as the director finished speaking, Song Chenglei stood up abruptly, pretending to angrily pound the table and pointed at Tong Li, “It’s you, right? Ah, I knew you’ve been targeting me all day. Is stealing points supposed to make others angry? Wow, I’ve been feeling inexplicably irritated since earlier. It’s you doing it on purpose, isn’t it…”

Tong Li looked puzzled, “Your anger has nothing to do with me. Go and vent it somewhere else.”

Cao Lingyun looked around nervously.

Tong Li said, “Xiao Chu and Xi Su have been quiet, which is suspicious. Xiao Yu is a newcomer; the director probably wouldn’t let him fight alone, too risky. Lingyun probably isn’t either. I’ve known Old Song for over ten years; I can tell if he’s guilty at a glance. I judge it’s not him, and of course, I’m not it myself…”

Tong Li’s analysis got everyone brainstorming, and a debate seemed inevitable.

Yu Wen rested his face in his hands, cautiously glancing at everyone.

Song Chenglei asked, “Xiao Yu, what do you think?”

Everyone’s eyes shifted to him in unison. Yu Wen hesitated for a moment after being named.

“The undercover was my suggestion. I originally wanted to be it, but the production team didn’t allow it. They said it had to be decided by drawing lots.”

He poked the lottery box in front of him and said vaguely, “In Xiao Yu’s humble opinion, the undercover is still in the box, not yet born.”

Tong Li: “…”

Song Chenglei: “…”

Everyone who almost started debating: “…”

The director, sitting behind the camera, was laughing so hard he almost had a cramp.

“Ok, fine.” Song Chenglei picked up the phone, “Taxi, taxi, please come to the foot of the mountain to pick me up… Viewers, Song Chenglei is going home first—”