UCTOOT CH47

Shi Shu slammed his chopsticks on the table. “Xie Wuchi, you’re in the mood to say such things. It seems your audience with the emperor left you completely unscathed, huh?”

Xie Wuchi raised his eyes. “What? Are you not well?”

Shi Shu turned his face away, his handsome, fair nose wrinkled, his face full of annoyance. “I had a dream a couple of days ago. I dreamed you died, and the authorities told me to go collect your body from the street. I held your corpse and cried my eyes out. After I buried you and went back to the courtyard… I was the only one left in this world again.”

Xie Wuchi’s hand, which was peeling a shrimp, paused. He was quiet for a moment.

“Go on.”

“There’s nothing more to say. It scared me awake, and I ran thirty laps in the courtyard after getting up. By the way, that Bodhisattva on the table, gild it for him later.”

“Alright,” Xie Wuchi finished peeling the shrimp and placed it in Shi Shu’s bowl. “People are strange. If you had never met me, you might have long accepted the fate of transmigrating alone. But after meeting your own kind, it becomes harder to accept loss.”

“To you, am I a life-saving straw, or a hell that makes the fall more painful and deeper?”

 “Or, you to me.”

Shi Shu was stuck by these words. “That’s because…”

 Xie Wuchi finished his sentence, “I’m very important, right?”

“…………”

What the hell! Was he starting this again? Couldn’t men just act like men and not do this stuff?

Shi Shu’s lips still hurt. Thinking of the force of Xie Wuchi’s grip and the dizzying ripple when he was pushed, his hand suddenly trembled. “Hmph, guess for yourself.”

Xie Wuchi’s face was expressionless, and he said no more.

“My lord.”

Zhou Xiang entered from the doorway. He and Li Fu were also servants assigned to Xie Wuchi from the Censorate. This group of people were either convicts or born into servitude because their parents had committed crimes. “The masters downstairs, Commissioner of Transportation Chen Zhixing and Pacification Commissioner Li Ziming, are still waiting to drink with you, my lord. They are looking for you everywhere.”

Shi Shu said, “Oh, Great Master Xie. Go socialize. I can handle the rest of the meal by myself.”

Xie Wuchi’s eyes were thoughtful. He stood up and didn’t say much. “I’ll go right over.”

Late at night, the two servants were sent back to the courtyard first to tidy the empty rooms, clean up, and boil water. When Shi Shu entered the courtyard, he let out a sound of extreme admiration. “So impressive.”

The courtyard had been cleaned spotlessly by these two. The pots and pans in the kitchen, the melon seedlings and flower vines in the vegetable garden, the cleaned-out empty room, the dust on the ground, and Laifu’s doghouse, as well as the gifts from well-wishers, were all placed neatly.

Li Fu had just boiled hot water, poured it into a huge new wooden tub, and also brought over the hangover soup. “My lord’s stomach will be uncomfortable after drinking. This servant has prepared the medicinal soup. The bathwater is also heated, just waiting for my lord to bathe. My lord must be tired after a busy day, right? This servant happens to know some massage techniques and can rub my lord’s shoulders and feet.”

Shi Shu: “…………”

So capable…

Every time Shi Shu thought he was being a good bro, compared to real servants, he was really far too lacking!

Xie Wuchi responded absentmindedly and sat down in a chair in the main hall. He lifted the lid of a teacup to see the tea had also been poured just right.

Zhou Xiang was tidying the courtyard with great vigor, moving wood and fodder, weeding and hoeing. He was a capable and silent worker, very strong, and had tidied up things Shi Shu couldn’t even identify as trash. Shi Shu walked around for several turns, with Laifu following him, wagging his tail.

Li Fu and Zhou Xiang’s service to Xie Wuchi was a loyalty bordering on sycophancy. But Shi Shu could also see that these two new housemates clearly regarded Xie Wuchi as the number one master at the top of the pyramid. Shi Shu was just “Second Master” or “Young Master.”

Shi Shu wiped away his sweat of admiration and entered the central hall. “Xie Wuchi, you’ve really made it now.”

Xie Wuchi stood under the oil lamp, disrobing. That official’s crimson silk robe was as red as fire in the lamplight. Its material and form were extremely proper, elegant, and noble. Having been used to the colors of common folk, seeing an official’s colors for the first time, Shi Shu couldn’t help but touch it curiously. “This robe is pretty nice.”

Xie Wuchi handed it to him. “Take it and look.”

Shi Shu took it in his hands, praising it endlessly. “Holy crap, this is amazing. Damn, this is the first time I’ve touched something so awesome. Bro, you’re too awesome!”

Two transmigrators who arrived with no status, never took the imperial exams, and Xie Wuchi’s cover was even a monk returning to secular life. To one day be able to wear this elegant official robe that defined rank, divided classes, and represented a meteoric rise—how many people could achieve that?

More importantly, this was an honor he had risked his life for.
Li Fu and Zhou Xiang exchanged a look and lowered their heads, stifling their laughter.

“My lord, Second Master, isn’t it time to rest? My lord is departing in three days to inspect the nation. Shouldn’t you rest more these few days?” Zhou Xiang said.

Xie Wuchi glanced at him. “Bathe.”

Li Fu pulled the curtain and screen. Just as he was about to enter to serve, Xie Wuchi said, “No need. Go see if any part of the courtyard is not clean and tidy it up some more.”

“Yes, my lord.”

The two men went out. Shi Shu watched them go. “Really nice.”

Xie Wuchi took off his outer clothes and got into the tub. Shi Shu turned his head and saw the few broken-skinned, bloody marks on his bare, firm chest and coughed lightly. He took out the white jade porcelain bottle he had prepared earlier from his sleeve. “Xie Wuchi, I used a bit too much force just now, sorry.”

Xie Wuchi’s eyelashes were tinged with water vapor. “You scratched it, you apply the ointment.”

 “Why don’t you talk about the cause and effect?”

Shi Shu gritted his teeth and approached, circling the wooden tub to look at Xie Wuchi. The wound from the whip on his back had already faded, but there were still whitish, winding marks. “There are still scars. How long will it take for them to disappear?”

Xie Wuchi: “Maybe half a year or a year.”

Shi Shu scooped some cooling ointment with his finger and applied it to the edge of the wound. His nose caught the faint smell of alcohol on Xie Wuchi. The proximity was too close, so to ease the awkwardness, he changed the subject. “Xie Wuchi, these two servants following you are capable and diligent. If you go on a national inspection, they can take good care of you and keep you company.”

Xie Wuchi: “I don’t want their company.”

 “They’re quite capable.”

 “What are you thinking?” Xie Wuchi supported himself on the edge of the tub with one hand. “Don’t become friends with them, Shi Shu. Especially servants assigned to you by the yamen. You can be sincere, but they cannot change who they are.”

Shi Shu: “Understood.”

Shi Shu changed the topic. “With you back, this courtyard is suddenly lively.”

“It’s boring to be alone. So, about that thing I asked you, have you thought of an answer?”

Xie Wuchi was talking about going on the national inspection with him.

Shi Shu’s mind instantly cleared. “Wait a minute, don’t be in such a hurry. I’m still thinking.”

Xie Wuchi’s eyes were indifferent. “What is there to think about?”

“None of your business. Anyway, I need to think. Don’t try to influence me, bro!”

Shi Shu’s breath fell on Xie Wuchi’s nose. His brown eyes were focused on the wound on Xie Wuchi’s chest. Perhaps because he was in a good mood, he hummed a clear and bright tune while applying the ointment with his fingertip. Xie Wuchi’s gaze remained fixed on Shi Shu’s face. He grabbed his wrist.

“Are you happy that I’m back?”

Shi Shu: “—Let go let go let go let go! No touching!”
Xie Wuchi: “I won’t.” Not only did he not let go, he pulled him closer.

Shi Shu pressed his foot against the tub and leaned back hard, desperately looking towards the door beyond the wooden curtain, afraid Zhou Xiang or Li Fu might appear. Getting anxious, he said seriously, “Bro, this is exactly why I don’t want to go with you! You have servants assigned by the government now. There are eyes everywhere. If you act up nonsensically again and they see it, I’ll never be able to clear myself of the crime of being gay for the rest of my life.”

Xie Wuchi scoffed. “Or rather, a gay man who sleeps with his own brother?”

Shi Shu’s mind buzzed. “What are you talking about!!?”

Xie Wuchi: “I’m saying, in their eyes, you’re a gay man who sleeps with his own brother. Kissing your own brother, making love, being pressed behind a screen and fucked like that… it’s indeed too challenging for others to accept.”

“…”

“…………”

“……………”

Shi Shu: “Do you have a biological brother?”

Xie Wuchi: “No, I’m an only child.”

Shi Shu scooped a handful of water from the tub and splashed it on his nose and lips. “Me too. Xie Wuchi, you look proper when you don’t talk, but the moment you speak, you sound like a psychopathic killer. But it’s been a long time since I’ve heard these words. You’re still living so self-righteously, I’m very relieved!”

Shi Shu gritted his teeth through the last sentence. Xie Wuchi licked the water droplets from his lips.

Shi Shu simply put down the medicine bottle. “Wash yourself slowly. I’m not serving you anymore. I’m leaving, going to sleep!”

“Shi Shu, come back.”

Shi Shu: “What for?”

“Don’t you want to stay with me a little longer?”

Xie Wuchi’s voice was the mature voice of a young man, magnetic, pleasant, and seemingly seductive.

Shi Shu: “No. We can’t say two sentences before you start that again.”

“…”

The slender, wind-like figure of the young man lifted the wooden curtain and slipped out the door.

Xie Wuchi took the towel from the side to dry himself. After putting on a clean, snow-white inner robe, he stood in the courtyard and looked. Not only had Shi Shu chosen a separate room, but a separate building. Shi Shu had consciously chosen the small house far from Xie Wuchi’s central hall and “creak—” shut the door tightly.

Xie Wuchi lowered his eyes. Zhou Xiang ran over and said, “My lord, do we need to prepare a sedan chair for court tomorrow? If so, this servant will go out and ask.”

Li Fu, on the side, held Xie Wuchi’s changed clothes. “My lord, the court robes are needed again tomorrow. While the weather is good, I will wash the clothes.”

Xie Wuchi, expressionless, hummed an “mm.”

The door to the other room closed.

Shi Shu took a flying leap onto the bed, patting the covers in delight. For the past half a month, he had hardly been able to sleep properly for a single day. With Xie Wuchi’s safe return, the great weight in Shi Shu’s heart was finally lifted.

At least he wouldn’t dream of collecting his corpse anymore, and even if he did, Shi Shu wouldn’t be scared awake.

But in the middle of the night, Shi Shu woke up and stared at the ceiling. “Xie Wuchi, you’re something else. After being worried sick for half a month, I’m even getting insomnia as a side effect.”

“Can’t sleep. I’ll go see what Xie Wuchi is doing.”

Shi Shu simply got up to visit. He and Xie Wuchi were separated by a short courtyard. It was now past midnight and all was silent. Shi Shu walked to the door and heard the “swish swish” sound of washing clothes and the low chatter of two people. He stopped.

Li Fu and Zhou Xiang had been handymen at the Censorate, doing menial tasks like carrying night soil, stoking fires, and chopping wood. They were supposed to do it until they died. Unexpectedly, Xie Wuchi’s opportunity allowed them to go from lifelong servitude at the yamen to being a private servant of an official.

Li Fu squatted on the ground, a washboard in the basin, and said as he washed, “Chen Bao was also sent out before, but the person he follows is a proper scholar who passed all three levels of the imperial exams, a second-class Jinshi. His future is boundless. Not like our master, who entered court with no status and even took on this unlucky errand.”

Shi Shu’s eyes widened. He thought, “Wow, Li Fu looks so honest, but he has a lot on his mind.”
“Sigh.”

Zhou Xiang wrung out the water into the laundry trough. The clear water rippled. He shook his head, not saying much.

Li Fu said, “On the surface, he’s inspecting the new national policy, but who doesn’t know this new policy is impossible to implement? Prime Minister Fu hasn’t nodded, and few of the civil and military officials have nodded either. This new policy cuts the fat from these high officials! Who would be willing? It’s another thankless task. I think before the new policy is even implemented, he’ll lose his own official post.”

Zhou Xiang said, “Who can blame him, he’s a scapegoat.”

 Li Fu: “A bitter fate, unlucky.”

Zhou Xiang: “If he gets beheaded, we’ll just find a new master. What’s there to be anxious about?”

“…”

The moonlight shone on the courtyard, illuminating Shi Shu’s handsome, bright face. After a moment’s hesitation, the two men had already hung the clothes and returned to their rooms. He then ran towards Xie Wuchi’s wing.

“Xie Wuchi, Xie Wuchi, Xie Wuchi!”

Shi Shu jogged into the room, his voice very quiet. The room was silent. A pale blue moonlight fell on the floor. Shi Shu looked at the bed and found Xie Wuchi’s black hair spread out. The person was pillowed on the bed, the faint light illuminating his brows, eyes, and jaw. His eyes were closed, sleeping very soundly, his body exuding a calm, dark aura.

Even in deep sleep, Xie Wuchi’s lips were pressed together. His face in the shadows seemed to naturally possess nobility and honor.

It hit Shi Shu, and he suddenly understood. “From King Liang’s birthday until now, or even from Shukang Prefecture until now, Xie Wuchi has almost always been in crisis. Only now has he finally gotten a solid, good night’s sleep…”

He was sleeping so soundly that Shi Shu entering the room hadn’t woken him.

Shi Shu’s mood instantly calmed. He stood by the bed and touched Xie Wuchi’s forehead.

“You sleep, you sleep, you sleep.”

Shi Shu jogged out the door.

For the next two days, Xie Wuchi still went to court to handle the handover of affairs. He only had free time on the day before his departure, packing his luggage in the courtyard for the national inspection. Shi Shu was heading out, but unexpectedly, someone entered the door first.
“Pei Wenqing?”

Pei Wenqing was dressed in a plain, simple green robe, holding a roasted goose. Chu Heng was next to him. Shi Shu smiled. “I was just about to look for you, and you came.”
Pei Wenqing coughed, his face pale. “Ha, I guessed you’d be looking for me, but I’ve been busy these past few days, so I came myself. Are you preparing to leave the capital with your brother?”

Shi Shu: “Mm, I’ve decided. We’re going together!”

“Can’t you leave your brother, or can’t your brother leave you?” Pei Wenqing’s smile was teasing.

Shi Shu now heard the word “brother” and his mind was full of Xie Wuchi’s line “sleep with his own brother.” He cleared his throat righteously. “Come in and sit. We were just about to have hot pot tonight.”

Chu Heng was making “tsutsutsu” sounds to play with Laifu, lifting his silk robe to show his leg, his gaze frequently glancing into the house. “Where is Censor Xie?”

Shi Shu: “What do you want with him?”

Chu Heng said, “The Crane Guard of the Orchid Terrace, who hasn’t heard of Censor Xie’s great reputation? I want to ask him how he survived, and I want to learn from him as his disciple!”

Shi Shu: “Tsk, go talk to your own brother. But Censor Xie doesn’t like kids. He hits them on sight.”

“What?” Chu Heng said, “I’m only five years younger than you. Besides, my mind is already mature. In the future, I will secure peace and stability for the Great Jing!”

“So impressive, little prince.”

Shi Shu smoothed this little prince’s feathers. At some point, Xie Wuchi came from under the corridor, a book roll in his hand. Pei Wenqing took two steps forward. “Censor Xie, I heard His Majesty’s new policy decree has already been sent to all prefectures and departments of the Great Jing, taking this autumn harvest as an example to supervise the collection of the national grain tax. Is that right?”

Xie Wuchi hummed in agreement. “The rice from this autumn harvest will be the first cut in the reform of the land tax.”

Pei Wenqing asked, “Where will Censor Xie go first?”

“Qian’an Prefecture. Qian’an has the most fertile land and is also the granary of the Great Jing, but it is also where the gentry encroach on land the most. People say Qian’an has many Juren. After the officials who pass the exams return to their hometowns, they amass wealth and purchase land on a large scale. These past few days, His Majesty and I checked the general accounts from the founding of the dynasty. During Emperor Wu’s reign, Qian’an Prefecture could still collect taxes in the tens of millions, but now it can only collect less than one-tenth. It shows how deep the malady runs. His Majesty has already removed Qian’an’s Pacification Commissioner and Prefect and sent new people.”

Pei Wenqing smiled. Coincidentally, the dishes and hot pot on the table were already set up. He pointed to the tofu in a basket. “I heard Qian’an’s soybeans are plump and tender. The tofu, dried tofu, and soy milk they produce are all top-notch and very popular in the Eastern Capital.”

Shi Shu stared at this piece of tofu, pondering.

Xie Wuchi looked over. “What is Brother Pei’s advice?”

Pei Wenqing’s eyes sparkled. “In the capital, there’s another great reputation associated with tofu. Prime Minister Fu is from Qian’an. It’s said that when he was sick, he craved the roasted tofu from his hometown. In his sorrow, he wrote a poem about wanting to return, which alarmed the Empress Dowager. She quickly dispatched the palace imperial guards on fast horses to deliver tofu from Qian’an Prefecture.”

Xie Wuchi nodded, saying calmly, “I have long heard of this elegant affair.”

“That’s good. I was afraid you didn’t know and came specially to remind you. But you think deeply, and there are many things for you to do once you leave the Eastern Capital. My words are limited.”

Xie Wuchi: “In any case, thank you for the reminder.”

“Then Chu Heng and I will be leaving first,” Pei Wenqing called to Laifu. “Come, come, come, go with me.”

Laifu whined twice, wagged its tail at Shi Shu, and followed behind Pei Wenqing.

Shi Shu: “You’re leaving already?”

“It’s a rare reunion for you brothers, and you have to depart tomorrow. It’s probably very busy today, so I won’t disturb you.”

The figures disappeared at the door. Shi Shu sat back down in his chair. “Did he come specially to remind you about the stakeholders in this new policy?”

Xie Wuchi also sat down. “Pei Wenqing is a good person. It’s just that I already knew. Officials from outside who come to the capital to serve all have to spend a little money to treat the yamen servants to tea, to inquire about the rules in this capital, who has backing and who doesn’t, who can be touched and who can’t. As soon as I took this job, I compiled a list of the interest groups in each prefecture.”

Shi Shu’s scalp tingled. “Isn’t this the ‘protective umbrella’ from TV dramas?”

“Precisely. The court of the Great Jing is now divided into two factions. One wants the new policy, the other just wants peace and prosperity and can’t be bothered with those troublesome matters.”

Xie Wuchi asked, “Shi Shu, if it were you, you had endless money and beauties, but a group of people told you every day to care about others, taking up your time, seizing your property, and even scolding you for living a life of debauchery, would you be willing?”

Shi Shu: “Why don’t they think about where their money came from?”

Xie Wuchi: “Good fate, born into it.”

The hot pot on the table bubbled. Shi Shu was not eating properly, looking around, watching the birds in the sky with his chopsticks, sometimes looking down to count ants.
Xie Wuchi put a piece of meat in his bowl. “Eat. Go to bed early tonight.”

Shi Shu didn’t listen. After several times, Xie Wuchi lost his patience. “I. Said. Eat.”

“…What are you shouting for?”

The deep voice startled Shi Shu. He subconsciously shrank back with his bowl. This strange yet familiar feeling was exactly the same as being at home and being scolded by his mom slamming the table.

Having transmigrated for over half a year, his impression of home hadn’t weakened.

A brightly lit dining room. Shi Shu shovels a few mouthfuls of rice while watching TV, circles the table, runs around, even shoots a basketball, and pats his mom’s shoulder on the way. Ms. Bo Mo first says nicely, “Eat.”

When she can’t stand it anymore, she slams her chopsticks down. “I told you to eat!”

When she roared, Shi Lun wouldn’t dare make a sound and would shovel his rice even louder. Shi Shu would quickly return to his chair, pick up his bowl to hide his face, and secretly glance at his mom’s expression.

Now, Shi Shu’s soul resonated with Xie Wuchi’s shout. His calves felt weak. He subconsciously picked up his bowl and started shoveling rice, his brown boyish eyes peeking at him.

Xie Wuchi seemed to have just said it casually and had already changed the topic. “Why did you decide to go with me?”
These two servants were legally assigned to Xie Wuchi, but in this world, the closest people seemed to be only him and himself.
Shi Shu ate noisily. “None of your business. Big bro is in a good mood.”

Xie Wuchi scoffed.

Shi Shu: “It has nothing to do with you. Mainly, I haven’t seen the rivers and mountains of the Great Jing yet. I’ll treat it as a trip and go along with you.”

Xie Wuchi: “As you wish.”

Shi Shu ate a couple of mouthfuls of vegetables. Seeing Xie Wuchi looking at a list with a thoughtful expression, he couldn’t help but say, “That sentence you just said, it sounded like my mom.”

“Hmm?”

Xie Wuchi turned his head. Shi Shu had already looked away and was picking up the tofu from the side.

The sun and moon rose in the east and set in the west. The courtyard was plunged into darkness. After the fish-belly white of dawn, bright light once again enveloped the courtyard. Light and shadow changed. The sound of footsteps was heard at the door.

Shi Shu’s eyes snapped open at three in the morning. He jumped out of bed to wash his face and put on the new clothes Xie Wuchi had tailored for him. At the door, Xie Wuchi, in his crimson silk official robe, tall and long-legged, his brow pressing down on his eyes with a slight coldness, also walked out of the courtyard gate.

Zhou Xiang and Li Fu had prepared congee for breakfast. Shi Shu quickly drank a bowl with a bun. Xie Wuchi watched him eat his fill with his chin in one hand, then stood up.

At the door, people from the government were already waiting.

“Censor Xie, are you out?”

Shi Shu looked over and took a step back in shock.

At the door were not only court attendants and scribes, left and right deputy envoys, but also sword-bearing guards dispatched by the emperor from the imperial army. A vast group of people were waiting with their heads bowed in the dim night.

“So many people!”

Shi Shu’s social anxiety was about to act up. But this group of people looked very solemn, with the characteristic unsmiling expression of government officials on duty.

On Xie Wuchi’s face, there was not a single trace of a smile, only the murderous aura of a new official ready to kill. “Let’s go.”

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