UCTOOT CH37

“Madam Red Thread’s embroidered ball is a hundred-for-a-hundred success! I’m almost thirty and not yet married. I was counting on this, how did it get snatched by a man?”

“I couldn’t even snatch it!”

“You men are not allowed to snatch the embroidered ball! If you snatch it again, you’ll end up with a man!”

“Hey, how come those two ran off with the ball!”

“…”

As the clamor of voices scraped past his ears with the wind, Shi Shu grabbed Xie Wuchi and broke into a mad dash, leaving the congested crowd by the platform and arriving at a less crowded street corner.

“Hah… hah… hah—” Shi Shu bent over, propping his hands on his knees. “How did I almost get married in the blink of an eye?”

Xie Wuchi released the arm he was pulling. On his slender, well-defined hand, the red tassels of the embroidered ball fluttered. The red silk sphere swayed; it was the very ball Shi Shu had thrown.

Shi Shu said casually, “Luckily you caught it. If it were anyone else, it would be a bit hard to explain.”

Xie Wuchi said flatly, “If it were me, would it be easy to explain?”

“Yeah, being a man is more convenient. Let’s go, this place is so lively.” Shi Shu turned around. “The embroidered ball is useless anyway. See if you can return it or just throw it away.”

Xie Wuchi kept the embroidered ball. “It’s a rare and strange encounter. Better to keep it.”

The carriage driver was waiting where they left him, about to find an inn to rest. Shi Shu didn’t pay much mind to the matter of the embroidered ball. “Let’s go quickly, I’m afraid people will chase us. These instigators are simply demonic.”

He might really have been thrown into the embroidery pavilion, changed into a red robe, and married off to someone. Shi Shu was unwilling; he was still a pure young man.

Just as he was about to urge the driver to leave, a voice came from behind.

“You two, please wait.”

Two tall, graceful, and noble young gentlemen, dressed in fine and luxurious silk uniforms in the twilight, exuded an air of noble transcendence. The wind blew their clean, wide-sleeved robes as they walked towards them.

Shi Shu froze on the spot. “Are they here to ask for the embroidered ball? So petty. Now the memento is gone.”

Xie Wuchi glanced at him but said nothing.

The slightly older of the two raised his hand in a salute. “I am Xu Hengmen. Are you two gentlemen surnamed Xie?”

Shi Shu: “Who are you?”

“Oh, it really is you,” Xu Hengmen smiled like the warm sun of the third month of spring. “You two have come to Hedong Academy with Pei Wenqing’s letter to find someone. Xu Shouchun is my father. This is my younger brother, Xu Hengfeng.”

Shi Shu: “So it’s your father. What a coincidence!”

Xu Hengmen said, “Hahaha, I was just passing by the embroidery pavilion and saw you, brother, being pulled up. Your appearance is quite remarkable. Then I saw another brother with you, so I took the liberty of coming to ask. My father is currently in seclusion for spiritual cultivation. I ask you two to also stay for a couple of days. The journey over mountains and rivers has not been easy. For now, allow me to take care of you.”

This graceful nobleman turned around. “Have you eaten? I happen to have reserved a painted boat on the river. You two, please.”

Shi Shu looked at Xie Wuchi. “We can get a free meal. Shall we go?”

After Shi Shu spoke, the younger Xu Hengfeng raised his willow-like eyebrows high, glanced at him, and let out a soft snort. There seemed to be contempt in his eyes, but he still had to be their host.

Shi Shu received the look but, unsure if it was a misunderstanding, pinched his earlobe and pretended not to see it for the time being.

Xie Wuchi had already started walking. “Let’s go.”

Xu Hengmen went to the side of the road and clapped his hands. Immediately, several servants came up stealthily. He instructed, “Take our two honored guests’ luggage to the academy first.”

After speaking, he turned back with an elegant smile. “You two have come at just the right time. It is now the Qixi Red Thread Festival. The custom of Changyang is for men and women to meet by the Lao River at night, release flower lanterns and candles together, and watch the nightly fireworks. It is very lively these days. You two can also enjoy the view together.”

Xie Wuchi said, “The Lao River. Is that the river that was renamed when your esteemed father, in his youth, got drunk on a boat, and woke up to find all the fermented rice wine had spilled into the river, a scene of elegant beauty?”

Xu Hengmen: “Indeed.”

Shi Shu was very surprised. “Your dad spilled a cup of wine, and the name of the entire river was changed? Holy cow!”

Xu Hengmen gave a faint smile. Xu Hengfeng covered his face and let out a snort, once again revealing a look of someone seeing a country bumpkin.

Xie Wuchi said, “The Xu family of Changyang, a Confucian clan for a hundred generations. Most of the land in the entire Changyang County is owned by the Xu family. Let alone a river, even the world-famous Qiming Mountain is nothing more than the Xu family’s back garden. Many of their ancestors have entered the imperial cabinet. The grandfather of these two brothers was the prime minister during Emperor Ren’s reign.”

Xu Hengmen closed his folding fan and smiled faintly, covering his chin. “You overstate, sir. We are just a family that passes down literature and poetry, serving the Great Jing dynasty.”

Shi Shu: “Awesome…”

As twilight settled, Xu Hengfeng couldn’t hold back his impatience. He sized up Shi Shu and Xie Wuchi. “I heard that besides the incident at Xiangnan Temple last time, you two also had a hand in dispelling the plague in Shukang Prefecture?”

Shi Shu yielded the stage to the overachiever. “My brother did it all.”

Xie Wuchi: “It was a small contribution, relying on the assistance of all the esteemed officials.”

Xu Hengfeng scrutinized him again. “No wonder my father agreed to see you. You have some cleverness. But I also heard that neither of you brothers has participated in the imperial examinations, you have no official titles, and are merely unordained monks from a wild mountain temple, wandering around the East Capital relying on your mouths to find food. Is that right?”

Shi Shu’s gaze turned to him.

This Xu Hengfeng spoke in an overly superior manner. Shi Shu sensed it and was instantly annoyed. “And you? Do you have an official title?”

Xu Hengfeng lifted his chin. “The Twin Jewels of Changyang. My brother and I both became Tongsheng at the age of thirteen. It’s just that our father thought we were too young and shouldn’t show off too much, so he told us to wait two more years before going to the capital for the examinations.”

Shi Shu was sincerely convinced. “Alright, you’re impressive.”

Xie Wuchi turned his head to look at him. Shi Shu’s face was nonchalant.

Xu Hengfeng was quiet for a moment, his arrogant expression returning.

Xu Hengmen chided him, “Have some manners. Go to the Zhou family’s painted boat and see if the dishes are ready.”

“I know.” Xu Hengfeng flicked his sleeve and got into a sedan chair to be carried away.

The moon rose over the willow branches, a time for lovers to meet after dusk. Past the blocks of interconnected eaves, a wide river flowed gently past the stone slabs. The sparkling river surface shimmered with golden light, and the reflections of lanterns swayed chaotically. Boatmen leaped onto their boats, and the black-canopied boats parted the water.

Among the dense cluster of boat-pavilions stacked like dark clouds, a mandarin duck boat, lit up as bright as day, was the most renowned Zhou family painted boat in Shaoxing Prefecture. The boat’s hull was adorned with lanterns and festive decorations, figures moved about, and the sounds of music and singing drifted out from time to time. Many people on the riverbank craned their necks, deeming it an honor to catch a clear glimpse of a beautiful woman on the painted boat.

As soon as Xu Hengmen arrived, high-ranking servants hurried over to greet him.

Shi Shu quietly tugged Xie Wuchi’s sleeve. “The country bumpkin has come to the city again.”

“Ancient version of a high-class club. Just be natural.”

Shi Shu: “A club? Win, and you get a club model. Lose… what, a club? Do you go there often?”

Xie Wuchi: “For business matters, occasionally.”

Shi Shu glanced Xie Wuchi up and down. “It’s hard to believe you’re clean.”

Xie Wuchi: “Do you want to check?”

Shi Shu: “How would I check?”

Xu Hengmen returned from the front, smiling. “You two, please.”

They boarded a small boat that swayed as it approached the painted boat. The lights were almost blinding. Several servants stood there specifically to welcome people onto the bow.

Shi Shu: “Just a few days ago we were in Shukang Prefecture, and now we’re here. The contrast is really huge.”

At the entrance, a delicate and soft voice rang out.

“Eldest Young Master, you’ve finally arrived. I’ve been waiting for you for a long time.”

A graceful beauty walked out from within. She was charming and alluring, fanning herself as she walked to the bow. Seeing Shi Shu accompanying them, her fair and soft hand immediately grabbed his wrist. “Oh my, where did this little official come from? So fair-skinned. You don’t happen to wear powder, do you?”

Shi Shu’s mind went blank. He snatched his hand back abruptly, nearly crying out, “Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t touch me! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

“Ahahaha…” The beauty laughed, fanning herself, seeming to enjoy teasing him.

Xu Hengmen looked back, a faint smile playing on his lips.

The beauty: “What’s there to be embarrassed about? You are the Eldest Young Master’s friend, so you are my friend too~”

Before she could reach out to grab him again, she was blocked by Xie Wuchi. “He comes from a monastic background and does not get close to women. Please forgive him.”

“Oh, a monk, is he?” The beauty smiled and turned to leave. Xu Hengmen’s expression turned serious as he put away his fan. “You two, please have a seat. This spot is the best for viewing the night scenery.”

After speaking, Xu Hengmen went among the beauties, and a flock of social butterflies surrounded him to talk. Shi Shu was wiping his hand, about to faint. “What’s going on, what’s going on, grabbing people as soon as they come up? I got rouge on the back of my hand, such a disgusting feeling…”

Xie Wuchi took out a handkerchief, dipped it in warm water, took his hand, and wiped away the cosmetics bit by bit. “You are too innocent.”

Shi Shu’s mind flashed back to that night, but after a moment’s hesitation, he didn’t pull away. “What do you mean, innocent?”

Xie Wuchi: “You guess. When we boarded the boat together, why did she grab you and not me?”

Shi Shu: “Why?”

Xie Wuchi: “You look like a little fledgling, naive and innocent. These people are the best at sizing people up. You were the first one they teased.”

Shi Shu’s back tingled. “Then how can I not be naive?”

Xie Wuchi: “Don’t say sorry, especially when others are at fault.”

“…Got it,” Shi Shu muttered. “You look quite hard to provoke, don’t you?”

After his hand was cleaned, the night wind blowing on the deck brought a refreshing feeling. Xu Hengfeng, who had gone to the back kitchen to check on the dishes, stepped onto the boat. Xie Wuchi put away the handkerchief, his face emotionless. “These two young masters are clearly here to test people.”

Shi Shu: “Huh? Test what people?”

“He feels he is superior to you. He is testing your character, your words and actions, your intelligence, to see if you are qualified to be of use to him.” Xie Wuchi picked up a cup of tea. “So young, his methods are clumsy and green.”

Shi Shu: “What should I do to not be looked down upon?”

Xie Wuchi: “Arrogant people will look down on you no matter what. Just be yourself.”

“Dong, dong, dong—” The great bell rang three times. Servants entered in single file holding food boxes, presenting the dishes one by one on the table. As they uncovered the inverted bowl lids, they introduced them, “This Buddha Jumps Over the Wall uses the most precious abalone from the South China Sea, fish maw, and sea cucumbers from Jiaodong, stewed for several days. The porcelain it is served in is a sky-blue glazed mallow-shaped washer from the number one famous kiln under heaven. Honored guests, please enjoy.”

Xu Hengmen waved his fan and said with a smile, “Please.”

Shi Shu put a chopstick-full into his mouth.

The reputation certainly impressed Shi Shu, but Xie Wuchi’s expression remained as calm as water, showing no surprise or flattery at being bestowed such an honor.

Shi Shu whispered, “I feel like… this cooking is not as good as my mom’s.”

Another white porcelain lid was lifted. “Ginseng stewed chicken. Hundred-year-old ginseng from Changbai Mountain, and the black-boned chicken is carefully selected. Matsutake, Codonopsis, and Astragalus have been added to the soup to replenish qi and blood. One sip can regulate your complexion, making it rosy and nourishing, and make you look ten years younger!”

Xu Hengmen: “You two, please enjoy.”

Shi Shu took a chicken leg. Xu Hengfeng once again naturally revealed his arrogance.

Shi Shu: “What’s wrong? Do you want to eat this chicken leg?”

The host said, “This young master may not know, but the chicken soup is the most nourishing part. As for eating only the chicken meat, it’s somewhat not worth it!”

Shi Shu: “So can I eat the chicken leg or not?”

The host said, “Of course, you can.”

Shi Shu lowered his head and bit into the chicken leg. Xie Wuchi also picked up a piece of chicken.

Xu Hengfeng yawned. Xu Hengmen smiled, and after a moment, he clapped his hands. “Have Nanfeng bring a few people over.”

Shi Shu was indeed a bit hungry from the long journey. After eating and drinking for a while, the door curtain was lifted. First, a pair of bare ankles appeared, followed by several young men in extremely thin clothes.

Some had slender waists like willows in the wind, some were strongly built and tall, and there were also cold and beautiful men, and elegant young masters. They came in smiling, and upon seeing Xu Hengmen give a signal, they smilingly tiptoed to the side of Xie Wuchi and Shi Shu, half-squatting, and raised their wine cups with a smile.

“Little mister, you look so familiar, as if I’ve seen you in a past life~”

“Want a drink? Anything goes tonight~”

“Where did you buy your clothes? They look so warm. Touch my waist and abdomen, it’s very cool.”

As the person spoke, he opened his robe, revealing his fair collarbones.

The alarm bells in Shi Shu’s head shrieked.

His vision went dark, and he almost fell over. “—What is going on!”

Men more flirtatious than Xie Wuchi have appeared!

Xu Hengmen said, “You two are of monastic background and do not get close to women, I naturally understand that. I have called a few young masters over to accompany you for drinks. Don’t be restrained. If there’s anyone you take a liking to, you can have them accompany you to bed tonight. It’s best if you have fun.”

“…………….”

Shi Shu turned to look at Xie Wuchi. Xie Wuchi’s face still showed no emotion, as if he was used to such amorous scenes, his eyes lowered to hide his feelings.

As expected, it was good to look at people like one looks at dogs. These young masters only dared to talk to Xie Wuchi, not get too close.

Shi Shu’s face was filled with horror. He said, “I, I, I…”

Xu Hengmen thought he couldn’t choose and said generously, “If you like all of them, it is also convenient to have them all accompany you to bed tonight. Since you two have come to Changyang, you must have as much fun as possible.”

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