FOBTS CH67

Chapter 67: Not Just a Secretary

“Brother, brother, say something!” Jian Yuheng smacked Jian Feng hard.

Jian Feng: “……”

Song Ruochen: “Haha, hahahaha.”

This is fun.

He already thought this scene was thrilling when he read it in the novel.

Now it’s even better—he gets to see the live-action version.

“Bro, that’s your wife and your childhood friend!” Jian Yuheng lightly pounded on his brother’s chest.

Jian Yuheng: “皿!”

Do something, for god’s sake.

“Easy there,” said Kidnapper A, who couldn’t bear to watch, “Why are you hitting him harder than we did?”

Song Ruochen: “Hahaha, ha!”

This is great. A bag of sunflower seeds would make it even better.

“Secretary Song, you choose,” Yan Ci turned his head toward Song Ruochen. “Should I leave, or should Mianmian?”

Song Ruochen: “Ha…”

Huh?

“Great idea, let Secretary Song decide,” Meng Yumian said. “Secretary Song, between me and Cici, who’s really your best friend?”

Song Ruochen: “……”

I’m too young to carry this kind of burden.

“Then I’ll leave?” Song Ruochen asked.

Yan Ci: “Sure.”

Meng Yumian: “Sure.”

Song Ruochen was touched to the point of emotional collapse.

What sweet freaks. They chose to keep the danger for themselves and send Secretary Song to safety.

“There wouldn’t be a me today without Secretary Song,” Yan Ci said.

He used to be insecure and sensitive, bullied by everyone, feeling like the whole world’s bad luck had landed on him.

Then Secretary Song came into his life—and made sure that bad luck got evenly distributed to everyone.

He was no longer insecure. Just emotionally shut down.

“Same here,” Meng Yumian added. “I’ve been frail since I was little, and tend to depend on people. Secretary Song taught me to stand on my own.”

When you’re facing a life-threatening situation, you really do learn independence.

Song Ruochen: “?”

Weird. They’re saying all these heartfelt things, but their eyes are full of judgment.

Should he be touched or not?

“Let Secretary Song go first,” Jian Yuheng said decisively over the video call. “Madam and Young Master Meng, please wait a bit. Xiaoshi’s people will come get you home.”

“Secretary Song isn’t going anywhere,” Kidnapper C cut in.

Jian Yuheng’s gaze sharpened. “What do you mean?”

“Our employer wants to meet your Secretary Song tomorrow,” said Kidnapper C. “He heard Song is the smartest person in Xiaoshi, and he has some questions.”

“Who told him I’m the smartest person in Xiaoshi?” Song Ruochen asked. “The magic mirror?”

Kidnapper C: “……”

Jian Yuheng: “……”

“Be serious,” Jian Yuheng said.

Kidnapper C: “Okay.”

“By tomorrow morning at the latest,” Kidnapper C said. “Decide who you want to save first and put the ransom at the designated location. Otherwise…”

He fired a shot into the air.

Yan Ci: “0.0.”

Meng Yumian: “0.0…”

Song Ruochen: “>.<”

The video call was cut off.

In the sudden silence, Song Ruochen yawned.

“Got a blanket?” he asked Kidnapper A. “And a pillow?”

“We have blankets,” Kidnapper A replied. “No pillows. We’re low-budget—please make do.”

Kidnappers B, C, and D: “?”

The other three kidnappers walked off in disdain.

Not long after, Kidnapper A returned with three blankets outside the cell.

“Perfect,” said Song Ruochen. “When I conquer the world, I’ll make you my prime minister.”

Kidnapper A: “……”

He walked away, thoroughly confused.

Song Ruochen counted the remaining snacks on the floor—three bags of chips, two chocolate bars, and one hawthorn stick.

They were almost out of food. He couldn’t stay in this jail much longer.

His cheat code was still on vacation. He checked the silly coins and the time-reversal coin in his pocket.

“Madam, Young Master Meng,” Secretary Song said with a calm smile, “Get some rest. At midnight, we break out.”

Yan Ci: “Whoa?”

Meng Yumian: “Exciting!”

—

4 a.m.

Too excited to sleep all night, Yan Ci poked Meng Yumian. “Did Secretary Song mean tonight?”

Meng Yumian: “……”

“Wake him up,” Meng Yumian said. “If we wait any longer, it’ll be morning.”

When Secretary Song gets things done, it’s like opening a mystery box—sometimes reliable, sometimes utterly ridiculous, with a low chance of success.

“I’m up,” said Song Ruochen.

He pulled out a shiny coin from his pocket.

Time-Reversal Coin: Can rewind the state of any inanimate object. Effect lasts for only 3 seconds.

“Rewind the cage’s time to 24 hours ago,” Song Ruochen thought silently and gently tossed the coin at the iron cage holding them.

Click—the lock popped open.

“Go!” Song Ruochen ordered. “Move, move!”

They had three seconds before the cage returned to its locked state.

“Secretary Song knows how to pick locks?” Yan Ci asked while running.

“Madam, it’s good to have multiple skills,” Song Ruochen replied.

Sweet. That was such a cool moment.

Dawn hadn’t broken yet. In the forest beside the warehouse, the four kidnappers were deep in philosophical conversation.

“What does the boss actually want?” Kidnapper A asked.

“Not sure,” said Kidnapper C. “He wants Xiaoshi to abandon the new product from the branch office and to let a certain Director Xiang leave the country unpunished.”

“Why not just say that? Why keep Secretary Song?” Kidnapper A asked.

“Because the boss wants to teach Xiaoshi a lesson. Someone will be here for him soon,” said Kidnapper C. “If Secretary Song is taken out, Xiaoshi will be seriously weakened.”

From the bushes, the eavesdropping trio: “……”

Meng Yumian: “If Secretary Song’s taken out, Xiaoshi will absolutely flourish.”

Yan Ci: “If Secretary Song’s taken out, Xiaoshi will thrive like never before.”

“…Don’t make me slap you two in the most dangerous place on earth,” Song Ruochen said.

“Did you hear someone talking?” Kidnapper B suddenly tensed up.

Kidnapper A: “No, just the wind.”

The campfire flickered once, then suddenly went out.

Kidnapper C: “?”

He pulled out his lighter to relight it. The flame flared up violently, almost burning his hand.

“Damn… haunted?” Kidnapper C muttered.

In the bushes, crouched down, Song Ruochen weighed the time-reversal coin in his hand.

Kidnapper B scanned the area, feeling a chill crawl up his back.

“It’s almost 4:30,” Kidnapper D said. “What kind of lazy ghost shows up this late?”

“You’re a kidnapper, and you’re afraid of ghosts?” Kidnapper B scoffed. “Ridiculous.”

The next moment, the campfire vanished again. The wood they’d gathered transformed into trees, growing branches and leaves that smacked several of the kidnappers away.

Kidnapper B: “???”

“GHOST!” Kidnapper B screamed, scrambling away. “I quit! I’m going home!”

Kidnapper D also screamed and fled.

Three seconds later, the firewood returned to normal and the campfire re-lit.

Kidnappers B, C, and D were long gone, leaving only Kidnapper A behind, muttering things like “Your Majesty” and “Apocalypse.”

Song Ruocheng: “:)”

Even the Second Young Master couldn’t handle his ghost tricks. What makes you think a few low-rent kidnappers can go up against Secretary Song?

“Madam, Young Master Meng,” said Song Ruochen. “Let’s go.”

By 4:30, dawn was just breaking. The three of them pushed a wheelchair and slipped into the deep forest behind the old warehouse.

“Which way now?” asked Meng Yumian, pushing Song Ruochen and getting lost.

“We should’ve just taken the kidnappers’ car,” Song Ruochen muttered.

Sure! Here’s the English translation of your passage:

“No, thank you, Secretary Song,” Meng Yumian said. “I can still tell the difference between ‘a long walk to heaven’ and ‘a single step to heaven.’”

Song Ruochen: “……”

He didn’t even have time to look for his phone earlier and had just grabbed a small flashlight.

Because he remembered the TV dramas he’d seen, where the bad guys were chasing, and the protagonist just had to stop and say, “You run first, I won’t go. If I go, what will happen to you?”

Song Ruochen didn’t want to be that kind of fool.

“Don’t panic.” In the soft morning light, Yan Ci looked up at the sky. “The leaves are denser on this side; it’s the sun-facing slope. There’s moss on the ground over there. That means this way must be south.”

“We’ll head south, look for a water source—where there’s water, there’s civilization,” Yan Ci said as he picked up a rock and marked a tree. “Besides, since your husband and my husband are already in the area, if they don’t see us by tomorrow morning, they’ll definitely launch a full-scale search through the forest!”

Song Ruochen: “0.o?”

Whose husband?

And you—why the hell are you so familiar with primeval forests? Your wilderness survival skills are absurd.

“This way,” Yan Ci said. “Let’s go, Secretary Song. We can’t let them use us to threaten Xiaoshi, and we definitely can’t let them take you away.”

“Xiaoshi can’t live without Secretary Song, just like a potted plant can’t live without bugs,” Meng Yumian added.

Song Ruochen: “……”

Why was he starting to feel mad?

Forget it. He had his own special way of communicating—he’d notify Second Young Master in a bit.

—

At the abandoned factory on the mountain, a new group of kidnappers—E, F, G, and H—arrived.

“The hostages escaped,” said Kidnapper E. “Four of our men lost their minds.”

There was silence on the other end of the phone. Then a voice asked, “What kind of ‘lost their minds’ are we talking about?”

“Three said they saw ghosts,” Kidnapper E replied. “One said they saw ‘His Majesty.’”

“How did they even go crazy in different ways?” The person on the phone laughed. “Secretary Song really is someone important to Xiaoshi—his madness-inducing rate is impressive.”

“Judging by the footprints in the wild mountain, they headed south,” Kidnapper F said. “We came up the mountain from the south—we should’ve run into them, but we haven’t seen a trace.”

“They won’t get out in one night,” said the person on the phone. “Go find them.”

Ten minutes earlier, Jian Yuheng had been in contact with the police and his own people, discussing a plan to storm the factory.

Suddenly, he froze.

[Ding, nan nan (South), dang.]

Jian Yuheng: “?”

Man man? Hard hard? Grandma?

Some dialect?

South?!

“Pretend to negotiate—they don’t have the hostages anymore. Search the southern side of the mountain,” Jian Yuheng said. “Your wife’s childhood friend and my wife must’ve escaped.”

Jian Feng was shocked. “Brother, did you unlock a cheat code?”

“Just a hunch,” Jian Yuheng said, unconvincingly, as he jumped into the car. “Let’s go meet them.”

—

To avoid the four kidnappers coming up the mountain, Song Ruochen had used his last save-point voucher.

Now, he only had two sand coins left in his pocket—completely broke.

But it was fine. He figured his little wallet assistant would be back online soon. As long as he reached a place with signal and activated his save system, he’d be Perfect Secretary Song again.

“Little Grape, these wild berries taste good,” said Yan Ci, who had tree leaves all over his head as disguise. He handed over a bunch of crimson berries. “These aren’t poisonous. They’ll help with stamina.”

The monster disguised in leaves pushed the wheelchair hard, nearly shaking Song Ruochen apart.

“Don’t—worry—Second Young Master will be here soon,” Song Ruochen said.

“You and Second Young Master are really in sync,” Yan Ci said. “You trust him so much. Are you thinking of marrying him next?”

Song Ruochen: “Ah…”

He hadn’t thought that far yet.

But after not seeing Jian Yuheng for a whole day, he did kind of miss him.

Yan Ci and Meng Yumian could really run—half a mountain in one night. It was more exhausting than military training in college.

He was just a naive, silly college student who only excelled at dominating in video games. He had never experienced this kind of dramatic kidnapping like in a soap opera, totally ignoring social rules.

And now he only had one save-point sand coin left.

Compared to this day and night, the previous days with Jian Yuheng had been bliss.

Jian Yuheng had taken him to hotpot and western restaurants, even tricked him into coming closer with lies about a temporary bond, just to tease him in the dim car lights.

Even Second Young Master’s hammock was great—rocking gently, perfect for a nap.

That day… he seemed to have kissed Second Young Master? On the cheek?

So lame.

Now, Song Ruochen had been through storms and fire. Next time, he’d kiss him on the lips. For ten minutes.

“Secretary Song, what are you thinking?” Yan Ci asked. “Your pheromones are leaking.”

Song Ruochen: “……”

Sorry.

“If you marry my brother, we can hang out often,” Yan Ci said. “And during holidays at the main residence, we can all stay together!”

Song Ruochen: “0.o?”

Little Date turns into Sister-in-law?

Flap flap flap—the sound of wind. Suddenly, a gust blew through the forest.

Yan Ci, who had been smiling, suddenly shut down.

Song Ruochen looked up and saw a helicopter decorated like a marriage license.

Jian One and Jian Two were here!

“Chenchen!” came Jian Yuheng’s voice from the sky.

There was no place to land in the forest, so the helicopter dropped a rope ladder.

[Leave approved. System back online!]

[Little Grape, I’m back! Did I miss any exciting moments…?]

 [(Looks around.jpg) Host-dad! Where did you go?!]

Shatter, shatter—

Several sharp noises and the sound of shattering glass.

Song Ruochen: “Huh?”

Shatter—

A sharp pain in his leg. He collapsed with a thud.

Song Ruochen: “Zzzzz.”

[Zzzzzz]

“Song Ruochen!” Police cars and Xiaoshi’s car rushed over. In the sky, Jian Yuheng, standing on the rope ladder, disengaged the safety on his gun and aimed at the kidnappers approaching Song Ruochen.

“Don’t move. It’s just a tranquilizer gun.” Someone rushed out of the trees, grabbed Song Ruochen, and pressed a dagger to his neck. “Move again, and I’ll kill him for real.”

The blade slid across his neck, leaving a thin line of blood. The little secretary’s eyes remained closed, face pale.

“Step back. Don’t move,” Jian Yuheng’s voice came over the internal channel—cold as ice.

“If you want to save him, bring us what we asked for.” Kidnapper E left those words, dragged Song Ruochen away, and jumped into a waiting vehicle.

The kidnappers’ SUV sped off.

The helicopter dropped the rope ladder, and Jian Yuheng and Jian Feng leapt down one after the other.

Yan Ci: “0.0… Little Grape…”

Meng Yumian: “0.0…”

“Madam and Young Master Meng are safe,” the rescuers reported.

“Quick, go save Little Grape,” Yan Ci grabbed Jian Yuheng’s wrist. “He likes you.”

“…I know,” Jian Yuheng said. “Assistant Gong, stay close. Don’t lose track.”

“Got it,” said Assistant Gong.

The brightly painted aircraft turned and flew toward the neighboring city.

Yan Ci: “Ah…”

Jian Feng: “Noooo…”

“I’ll never forgive the kidnappers,” Jian Feng gritted his teeth. “Whatever it takes, we must catch the mastermind.”

“President Jian, Second Young Master, shall we take Madam and Young Master Meng back first? The kidnappers are armed—your safety matters most,” someone suggested. “After all, it’s just a secretary who got taken.”

“Shut up. Don’t say that,” Meng Yumian said.

“We’re not leaving,” Jian Feng added.

“He’s not just a secretary.” Jian Yuheng leapt into a car and sped off in the direction the kidnappers had gone.

—

In the speeding SUV, a voice began to speak.

[You are an excellent secretary.]

[You protected the emotional bond between the book’s original leads, helping the protagonist and the antagonist unite against external threats.]

Song Ruochen: “?”

Who’s talking?

[Thanks to you, Xiaoshi’s performance soared.]

 [This book now has a sweet ending. Yan Ci and Jian Feng overcame their obstacles and will live happily ever after.]

 [Happy ending. Story over.]

Song Ruochen: “?”

That wasn’t the voice of his little wallet.

[Do you remember? In the original version of this kidnapping arc, Secretary Song took a knife for Yan Ci.]

 [In the original book, a minor side character—Secretary Song’s story ended here.]

“Who are you?” Song Ruochen asked.

[I’m Secretary Song.]

Song Ruochen: “Then I’m President Song.”

[…]

 [I’m the original book’s Secretary Song. You can also call me System XS003, a coworker of the Save-Point Coin Pouch.]

Song Ruochen: “?”

The original Secretary Song… was a system?

[I obeyed every command. I served Xiaoshi loyally. But things just kept getting worse—he and he were full of misunderstandings.]

 [What I couldn’t achieve, you did.]

 [Your approach—I can’t comprehend as an AI, but I respect it.]

Song Ruochen: “Did a robot just insult me?”

[Can you feel it, Song Ruochen? The world consciousness is trying to write you off.]

 [You stopped Assistant Gong from being written off. Now who will stop Secretary Song from disappearing?]

The car suddenly jolted, and Song Ruochen’s head thudded against the seat, gently awakening his sleeping mind.

Song Ruochen: “0.o?”

[0.o?]

“Save-Point Coin Pouch?” Song Ruochen asked. “Pang Hu?”

[It’s me!]

[(spitting.jpg) How dare he hijack my channel.]

[I don’t know him well.]

[But he did set a rewind limit of 10 minutes per attempt.]

[‘The world’s will cannot be avoided, but it can be changed.’ That’s what he said exactly.]

“So, I’m supposed to use my brilliance to escape this kidnapping, huh?” Song Ruochen said. “What a riddler.”

[Do you even have any brilliance?]

Song Ruochen: “…”

Hard to say.

Besides, things weren’t looking too good right now.

The new batch of kidnappers seemed to believe he could mentally pollute people, so they slapped black duct tape over his mouth.

Oh, and they tied up his hands and feet too.

He could throw a rollback coin to fix things, but he might just get tied up again. And he only had one coin left.

“I’ve always wanted to try moving while tied up,” Song Ruochen said to the system.

He arched himself up in the back seat and inched forward.

[……]

“Is Xiaoshi’s secretary mentally stable?” Kidnapper F in the front passenger seat asked Kidnapper E.

Kidnapper E: “Hard to say. I just searched him and found two rows of inhibitors.”

Kidnapper F: “……”

Kidnapper E: “I shot the tranquilizer gun twice, but the inhibitors blocked both shots. I finally had to hit his leg. Took three shots, only one landed. That’s why he woke up so fast.”

Kidnapper F: “Yikes, what a nerve case… But considering how hard they’re chasing him, he must be pretty important to Xiaoshi.”

“My mobility’s a bit limited,” Song Ruochen said, ending his experiment. “By the way, System, let’s let Jian-ge know I’m safe.”

[Detected—Brother Jian seems to be chasing our car.]

[Happy? Unexpectedly got yourself a car chase scene with the villain. covers face and cries.jpg]

“When I rewind, there’s a brief moment when he can hear command prompts,” Song Ruochen said. “Let’s talk to him.”

[okok.]

Jian Yuheng floored the gas pedal, zooming forward and leaving all the other cars behind.

Song Ruochen wasn’t just a secretary.

Song Ruochen was someone important.

He usually acted cold and rarely smiled. Song Ruochen was the first omega brave enough to approach him.

Actually, it wasn’t about compatibility at all. Ever since he found out the so-called ghost phenomenon was caused by this reckless little thing, he had already thought Song Ruochen was adorable.

Not crazy, not manic—he was someone Jian Yuheng wanted to have.

[Ding, I’m awake, dang.]

Both Jian Yuheng’s and the kidnappers’ cars were pushed back slightly.

Jian Yuheng: “!”

Song Ruochen was awake.

And the system was up too?

[Ding, I’m okay, clang.]

The car got pushed back again.

Jian Yuheng: “:)”

Good. As long as you’re okay.

[Ding, I like you, tsk, dang.]

Car reversed.

Jian Yuheng smiled again.

A message hidden in the sound of coins… was more moving than a confession.

[Ding, this road is nuts, dang.]

[Ding, I want milk tea, dang.]

[Ding, can you hear me, dang.]

Jian Yuheng: “……”

One row of cars. Another row. A dozen of them chasing one car, back and forth over this bumpy road. Ten times already.

One busted road, back and forth—Song Ruochen was hard to catch.

Jian Yuheng had had enough. He grabbed a loudspeaker and shouted at the car in front.

“Drive if you’re gonna drive! If not, then don’t! Stop reversing all the time!”

__

Author’s Note:

Kidnapper: Wait, what? I’m not reversing! I am driving!