FOBTS CH59

Chapter 59: Got It?

[From “After Transmigrating into a Book, the Villain Keeps Calling Me President” by Song Grape.]

[The entire book is only 9.99 yuan, with a signed copy from President Song included.]

—

Song Ruochen: “…”

“You’ve all misunderstood me. I did say I was an emperor online,” Song Ruochen said with a friendly vibe, “but I never said it was in the original book.”

Jian Yuheng’s earlier comment wasn’t exactly quiet—80% of the team heard it. Now, only Team Leader Jin was focused on speaking, while the others started whispering among themselves.

Also, Jian Yuheng’s apple-peeling speed wasn’t that impressive, was it?

Five minutes later, Jian Yuheng presented a masterpiece: a micro-carved apple.

Song Ruochen: “?”

“Brother Jian, this has more artistic value than edible value,” he said, taking it.

“Mr. Song is the most valuable,” Jian Yuheng replied.

[Second Young Master’s mouth has been as sweet as honey lately.]

“Don’t call me Mr. Song,” Song Ruochen said. “I can’t live up to that.”

He crunched on the apple, listening as Team Leader Jin from R&D continued.

“For next month’s spring recruitment, R&D plans to scout some promising graduates,” Team Leader Jin said. “Any good advice for the upcoming interviews, Secretary Song?”

Team Leader Jin added, “We want to hire more talented and creative people like Secretary Song.”

Jian Yuheng: “?”

Trying to blow up the company?

“Hm,” Song Ruochen nodded. “Add a question to the interview: ‘How do you sell artificial intelligence to artificial intelligence?’”

Team Leader Jin clapped. “Great question! What’s the answer?”

“There’s no answer. If they call you an idiot, keep them,” Song Ruochen said.

Team Leader Jin: “…”

Jian Yuheng: “…”

You’re pretty good at spotting your own kind.

“By the way,” Jian Yuheng said, “Xiaoye doesn’t need to work with low-quality partners. Xiaoshi will help Xiaoye boost product promotion, and we’ll screen the partners.”

“I added some ideas to the marketing department’s promotion plan yesterday,” Jian Yuheng continued. “After Secretary Song and I return to Xiaoshi, Manager Chu will lead everyone to execute it.”

The R&D team burst into applause.

The leaders parachuted in from headquarters brought solid funding, comprehensive plans, and a selective approach to partnerships. Everyone was happy to work for such bosses.

Thanks to the two leaders, the meeting’s atmosphere grew increasingly relaxed, eventually turning into a casual chat session.

“Damn it,” Team Leader Jin said. “I’ve been fed up with Xiang Cai for a while. He knows nothing and constantly gives bad orders.”

“He even said we leave work too early,” another employee chimed in. “I finished my work—why can’t I leave?”

“Maybe he’s worried you’ll steal his spot if you leave early,” Song Ruochen quipped.

Jian Yuheng: “…”

“Secretary Song,” Jian Yuheng said, nudging him.

Song Ruochen: “Sorry.”

The morning meeting ended, and Jian Yuheng had more work to do. Song Ruochen headed to the branch office’s cafeteria.

Just as he ordered his meal, Phone A buzzed.

[“Fuzzy Monster” is initiating a video call.]

Song Ruochen pulled out Phone B and dialed “Da Zao” for a video call.

Both calls connected almost simultaneously, showing the same face on both screens: Fuzzy Monster, and Da Zao.

“Little Grape called me first,” Yan Ci said. “Unlike you, Grape’s already forgotten about you.”

“Chenchen,” Meng Yumian said, “I’m the one who cares about you the most. How could you make me sad?”

Song Ruochen: “Stop.”

Finally, a few days of peace.

Yan Ci: “Mutter-mutter?”

Meng Yumian, nodding: “Mutter!”

“Grape Song, my husband said you and your… boss are coming back tomorrow?” Yan Ci asked.

“Call me Secretary Song!” Song Ruochen said. “Yes, early flight tomorrow.”

“We want souvenirs,” Meng Yumian said. “Anything’s fine—we’re not picky.”

“Can’t you buy that stuff online?” Song Ruochen asked.

Yan Ci: “0.0…”

Meng Yumian: “0.0…”

“Fine, I’ll bring some,” Song Ruochen said.

“What’s up?” Jian Yuheng walked over. “Oh, Sister-in-law and Meng Yumian.”

Why’s he chatting on two phones?

Grape’s brain is always in the stratosphere.

“Let’s head to the airport early tomorrow, okay?” Song Ruochen asked.

“Doesn’t that depend on when you wake up?” Jian Yuheng teased.

To let Song Ruochen sleep longer, he hadn’t even booked the earliest flight.

Yup, another secretary task done.

“Need to buy stuff, right?” Jian Yuheng glanced at the two phone screens. “I’ll wake you up tomorrow morning.”

Phone A & Phone B: “Mutter mutter…”

Song Ruochen: “?”

Both video calls hung up simultaneously.

A minute later:

[Fuzzy Monster]: [Image]

[Fuzzy Monster]: I tweaked the vibe—doesn’t it feel more atmospheric?

What the heck?

Song Ruochen opened the image and froze like a statue.

Why did this scene look so familiar?

A wedding? A staircase? A tall alpha carrying an omega down slowly.

That’s… me?!

[Fuzzy Monster]: Even an art exhibition isn’t as fun as shipping this CP.

[Song Ruochen]: Pretty atmospheric. smile.jpg

[Fuzzy Monster]: Oh crap, sent it to the wrong person!

I misjudged you—you’re in on it too.

Two more minutes passed.

[Song Ruochen]: You’re not even gonna retract it?!

[Fuzzy Monster]: You already saw it. Unless time reverses, no fix.

Song Ruochen: “…”

Even time reversal wouldn’t help.

“Little Song,” an auntie at a cafeteria window called, “Your grilled chicken leg is ready.”

“Chicken leg? Coming!” Song Ruochen tossed his phone on the table and sprinted toward the food.

Bzzz—his phone vibrated.

Jian Yuheng: “?”

What, did the phone get hurt from the toss?

He glanced at it—a call was coming in. After a few seconds of buzzing, Jian Yuheng picked it up.

“Hello, hello, are you the recipient ‘Second Young Master Is My Defeated Foe’?” the caller asked.

Jian Yuheng: “…” 

“I’m Second Young Master.”

“?”

Jian Yuheng: “Never mind, I’m his friend. He’s stumbling toward a chicken leg.”

“Got it, got it. I’m from Furball Express. His purchase, ‘The Complete Guide to Alpha-Omega Knowledge,’ has arrived,” the courier said. “Should I deliver it to the door or put it in a locker?”

“He’s not local—put it in a locker,” Jian Yuheng said, rubbing his temples.

“Alright,” the courier replied.

Jian Yuheng set the phone down, speechless, unsure where to start with the absurdity.

Come to think of it, he already had a copy of ‘The Complete Guide to Alpha-Omega Knowledge’. Why didn’t Song Ruochen just borrow it instead of buying a new one?

And why was Song Ruochen suddenly interested in this? Did he finally realize he lacked common sense?

The phone screen was still on, open to a WeChat chat. Jian Yuheng’s finger brushed it, and a large image popped up.

Jian Yuheng: “?”

Song Ruochen, returning with a chicken leg in his mouth: “…”

Oh no, Second Young Master saw something he shouldn’t have!

“It’s well-drawn,” Jian Yuheng said.

What’s so great about it? It’s just two people.

Song Ruochen stomped his foot in embarrassment.

There couldn’t be anything more awkward in the world.

“I took a call from a courier for you,” Jian Yuheng said. “Is the recipient name your lifelong dream?”

Song Ruochen: “…”

His calm expression grew even more serene.

Jian Yuheng: “You also bought…”

Song Ruochen shoved a chicken leg into Second Young Master’s mouth.

“Shut-up fee,” Song Ruochen said.

Eat it and forget.

Jian Yuheng, fed a chicken leg, was in a good mood, amusedly watching his little secretary’s slightly flushed face.

“Secretary Song, can you feed your boss some juice too?” Jian Yuheng asked.

“No way,” Song Ruochen said. “Second Young Master, I’m a work assistant, not a life assistant.”

Jian Yuheng, raising his voice: “Work… assistant?”

Sure about that?

“Everyone who’s tried me says I’m great,” Song Ruochen said coolly.

Those who’ve tried might not live to say it.

Still blushing over the image, Song Ruochen didn’t notice Jian Yuheng grab a tissue and wipe the corner of his mouth.

“President Song,” Jian Yuheng said, “this is how you be a life assistant.”

Song Ruochen: “…”

[Whoa, detected an accelerated heartbeat from the host.]

“Have you learned?” Jian Yuheng’s fingertip, through the tissue, lightly pressed against the corner of Song Ruochen’s mouth. “If you don’t know anything, your boss might fire you.”

Song Ruochen: “…”

Song Ruochen stuffed the last remaining chicken leg into Second Young Master’s mouth.

“I’m a reincarnation assistant,” Song Ruochen said.

Alphas are so noisy.

Also, yes, he bought ‘The Complete Guide to Alpha-Omega Knowledge’—he was just… a bit curious and wanted to learn more.

—

Song Ruochen had no idea how much Jian Yuheng had stirred things up. In just a week, the real power at Xiaoye had shifted from Xiang Cai to Jian Yuheng.

Meanwhile, Song Ruochen returned with a box full of local snacks, his phone buzzing with new friend requests.

The next morning, Jian Yuheng, who had barged into Grape Manor, shook him awake. Still groggy, Song Ruochen changed and headed to the airport to shop.

“Hello,” Song Ruochen said to a store clerk, “Is this the last fridge magnet?”

“Yes,” the clerk replied. “Would you like to buy it?”

What a cute omega.

“Nah, thanks,” Song Ruochen said.

He had to keep things fair—buy two identical ones.

In the end, he bought some snacks, asking the clerk to split them evenly by weight into two identical gift bags.

What kind of lousy script was he stuck with?

Not many could handle this as smoothly as he did.

The plane landed in City A. Jian Yuheng woke a drowsy Song Ruochen, half-dragging, half-carrying him off the plane.

As they exited the jet bridge, his phone rang.

“Second Young Master, have you arrived in City A?” Chu Jiu asked. “I forgot to give you a product sample. Should I have it sent over?”

Jian Yuheng: “Sure.”

“Why send it?” Song Ruochen asked. “We can just go back and get it.”

[Ding-dang.]

[Tenfold speed.]

Jian Yuheng: “…”

Living long enough, he’d now boarded a rocket.

His digital wallet couldn’t be used on the plane without Wi-Fi, but now that they’d landed, it worked.

Jian Yuheng was whooshed back to City O—never had he moved this fast in his life.

At the airport, he called Chu Jiu.

“How did you know I had a sample for you?” Chu Jiu said, delighted. “Is this the art of upper management?”

Jian Yuheng: “…”

“This is R&D’s latest achievement. Director Xiang asked for it several times, but R&D said it wasn’t ready,” Chu Jiu explained over the phone. “Team Leader Jin trusts Secretary Song, so the new product’s promotion is in the head office’s hands.”

Jian Yuheng glanced at the chaotic monkey wandering nearby and smiled.

This scatterbrained monkey was oddly likable. Everyone who interacted with Song Ruochen instinctively trusted and indulged him—one of the reasons Jian Yuheng liked him too.

After picking up the item from Manager Chu, Song Ruochen unleashed another big move.

[Ding! Dang-ang-ang!]

[Tenfold speed.]

Jian Yuheng was whooshed into the sky and whooshed back down.

Today, he felt like a bouncing ball, flung up and down, leaving sunlight and clouds behind.

“Xiao Jian,” Song Ruochen patted his shoulder, “Secretary Song handles things flawlessly.”

Xiao Jian was about to puke from all the flying. No matter how much he liked planes, this was too much.

Following Song Ruochen, Xiao Jian climbed into the company’s business car, and they headed back to Xiaoshi Group.

At the group’s entrance, two shiny new greeter robots stood, welcoming passersby.

“Welcome to Xiaoshi,” Robot A said. “Please state the password.”

Song Ruochen shouted, “Jian Feng and Yan Ci, happily ever after!”

“Password correct,” Robot B said. “Welcome.”

Jian Yuheng: “…This is what you asked R&D for?”

“Yup,” Song Ruochen said. “R&D had it rushed over overnight. Isn’t it cute?”

Everyone entering Xiaoshi would know Yan Ci and Jian Feng’s bond was unbreakable.

Song Ruochen added, “I checked the group chat—everyone thinks it’s fun. They say it’s way cooler than swiping a card to enter.”

“Have you considered what it’s like for my brother to shout his own name at a robot every day to get to work?” Jian Yuheng asked.

Song Ruochen: “Uh…”

Jian Yuheng: “Or my sister-in-law.”

Song Ruochen: “.”

You’re one villain who’s good at seeing things from others’ perspectives.

[Rewind Coin Pouch: 5 minutes credited.]

[What a windfall today—all earned by our Little Grape’s skills!]

[Self-reliant, Little Grape’s got ideas.]

“Yan… Yan Ci and Jian Feng, in perfect harmony,” a voice came from behind. “Wah, Little Grape!”

Blushing, Yan Ci ran over and gave Song Ruochen a big hug.

“You’re finally back! I was so bored without you. Even Fur Monster wouldn’t play with me,” Yan Ci said, looking around. “Where’s my gift?”

“Not giving it now,” Song Ruochen said. “We’ll wait for Fur Monster, then I’ll give them to you together.”

Who else could keep things as balanced as he did?

“Fine, I’ll call Fur Monster,” Yan Ci said, dialing. “Hurry up, together, mutter!”

As they spoke, they entered Jian Feng’s office.

Jian Feng was standing in a corner, facing the wall.

[Main character’s sulk meter up by 20.]

Song Ruochen: “?”

“Back?” Jian Feng asked. “It’s late today. Secretary Song, submit a business trip report, and you can rest.”

“Got it.” Jian Yuheng sat at the desk, dutifully opening the computer.

Jian Feng: “?”

Did I ask you to write it? So proactive?