FLME Ch24.1: Program Broadcast

Yu Wen didn’t speed up the playback, and after more than half an hour of absent-minded watching, he actually felt a bit clearer.

Once clear-headed, hunger spread from his stomach. He got up and wandered to the kitchen to find something to eat.

The kitchen was empty, with no stored food, only a few bottles of milk and some boxes of fruit.

He lazily glanced around and picked out a tomato. The tomato was cold from being in the refrigerator. He pondered whether to scald it with hot water, then noticed the ginger milk pudding nearby.

The porcelain bowl held a milky white solid, its surface smooth and tempting like solid yogurt.

Yu Wen was torn inside.

He thought of Xie Heyu again. He remembered that when he had a fever, Teacher Xie said he would make something else for him to eat later. Now that he was clear-headed, that memory felt hazy like a dream, but he still felt it probably wasn’t a dream.

Unfortunately, Xie Heyu had left for something.

Yu Wen picked up the bowl of ginger milk pudding. The bowl was still warm at the bottom. He sniffed it like a cat, finding the ginger smell not too strong and seemingly acceptable.

He then turned to sniff the tomato. It was cold.

In the end, he chose the ginger milk pudding.

He sat back on the sofa, wrapped himself in a blanket, and enjoyed his performance on the variety show while eating.

–

After the points were announced at noon, Chu Han used a team-switching right, and Yu Wen and Xi Su formed a new team.

While recording, he didn’t notice, but now on the screen, he and Xi Su looked harmonious, occasionally talking, but their expressions often showed some disdain.

Not only did he disdain Xi Su, but Xi Su also disdained him.

There was a scene where they were squatting on the ground digging for mushrooms. Yu Wen, sucking on a popsicle, directed, “You’re digging the wrong one. That’s an egg… dig that one…”

Xi Su: “Oh.”

Turning around, he buried the egg back, dug out the one Yu Wen pointed out, and casually said, “Sir, is this the one?”

Master Yu scrutinized it, waved his small hand, and nodded satisfactorily, “That’s right.”

「Xiao Yu looking at Xiao Xi: Idiot. Xiao Xi looking at Xiao Yu: Nitpicker.」

「Sir?」

「Hahahaha what’s up with you two, so funny hahahaha…」

「He’s the sir, then who am I?」

「Give me a role, I want to join you.」

「These two have a kind of mutual disdain beauty.」

「Can you give them a mic, not for any other reason, just like seeing these two have to interact nicely despite hating it.」

In front of the TV, Yu Wen choked directly upon seeing this.

Holding the ginger milk pudding, he was so angry he choked severely. After a heartbreaking coughing fit, rage overcame him. He grabbed his phone and sent Xi Su a message: 【Stupid blue hair!】

“Stupid” attacks intelligence, “blue hair” has a strong indicative meaning, and in-depth interpretation can also be a criticism of aesthetics. In just three characters, it packed a strong punch.

Xi Su, wait to be thoroughly hurt, Yu Wen thought with satisfaction.

He threw aside his phone. In just a short while, the bowl of ginger milk pudding was already empty. Scraping the last bit from the bowl’s edge, he looked into the empty bowl, pouting.

Too little.

Finished.

Unable to taste much due to illness, he actually found the ginger taste not strong, probably suppressed by the milk and sweetness. It tasted sweet at first, with a bit of spiciness afterward.

Yu Wen temporarily included ginger milk pudding in the “edible list.”

A bowl of ginger milk pudding was obviously not enough to fill his hungry stomach. He went to the kitchen again, took the tomato out of the refrigerator, and put it in warm water to thaw.

The TV was showing his team’s encounter with Tong Li’s team on the mountain road.

In just a few words, he led Tong Li into a trap.

“…I don’t quite remember, I was wearing white shoes, maybe I wiped them myself too.”

Tong Li’s request for the director to replay his expression three times was justified.

On the screen, Yu Wen briefly lowered his eyelids, then suddenly raised his eyes, looked at Tong Li, and met her gaze without guilt. After two or three seconds, he smiled, his tear mole at the corner of his eye making his sincerity look even more vivid.

“…Hard to say.”

To the audience, this was a brief brainstorming session, understanding Tong Li’s implication, going along with it, and confusing her.

But to Tong Li at the time, this should have seemed like a companion briefly stunned before getting her hint, responding to it, and identifying himself.

So she showed an intriguing expression and left with Cao Lingyun.

「Ah, my heart…」

「For you, Teacher, I’m willing to marry Chu Han.」

「That expression… if I were Tong Li, it would be hard not to believe too.」

「Sometimes smart people only need a glance to connect.」

「So that’s how it happened???」

「Who’s fooling who in this episode (looking up at the sky)」

「This teacher shouldn’t be here; he should debut in the center position in a survival show. They need talents like him there.」

「The heart that had been hanging for the entire episode suddenly relaxed.」

「God overlooks humanity; all beings are fools. Amen.」

「Thank you, Teacher Yu, for letting me experience a high-IQ perspective. I’m thrilled…」

「Does this kind of brain really exist in the human world? I feel like AI evolution left me behind.」

「Alright, next exam I won’t pray to Sun Simiao, I’ll pray to you.」

「What’s his name again? Report his name, from now on he’s my faith.」

「Yu Wen! Yu Wen! What’s going on, it’s been a whole episode and you still haven’t remembered his name!」

「Hahahaha, I remember it now.」

「I remember it too.」

「Even though I’m not a looks fan, it’s hard not to remember this kind of performance.」

After last night, Yu Wen hadn’t opened the hot search again, so he didn’t know that his solo hot search had really hung on Weibo for a whole day and night, ranking sixth and going viral.

However, without his name, he didn’t notice, and neither did Xie Jiamao, who was usually well-informed.

#God overlooks humanity; all beings are fools#

There was a featured comment below: “A rare high-IQ, high-EQ fresh blood in the entertainment industry, neither arrogant nor self-deprecating, neither reserved nor noisy, blending quickly into the environment with a calm and compassionate attitude. In young people’s words, he’s a ‘slacker.’ In my view, it’s divinity. He will fall in love with every circle he comes into contact with. This is the common trait of serious people. Looking forward to his performance. Even in the unfamiliar entertainment industry, please shine and heat up.”

His Weibo followers surged overnight, with many fans buying into him and more genuinely looking forward to his new dramas and variety shows.

Nothing else, just because he’s good-looking.

The high-energy analysis in the middle of the show switched the audience’s perspective to Yu Wen’s. The final voting session that night had less suspense and more drama. Latecomers had already seen the results on the hot search but couldn’t resist joining in the fun.

「Marking the famous scene of the undercover battle!」

「Came from the hot search, let me see how ridiculous it is.」

「Sister Tong believed in Xiao Yu until the end…」

「She was voted out, but her eyes still said: We’ve won this round.」

「Hahahaha, someone make a meme of Sister Tong, it’s hilarious.」

「While they’re arguing, Yu Wen and Chu Han are eating in the back.」

「Yu Wen (chewing): I don’t know.」

「You brat, playing dumb and eating tigers so effortlessly.」

「You say (chewing) boys like Yu Wen who are smart and cute (chewing), who invented them (chewing)?」

「Upstairs, what are you chewing?! I asked what are you chewing! Spit out this pretty teacher!」

The final scene showed all the MCs sitting in a row on the mountain top, the glow of the sunset spreading across the sky, filling the scene with vibrant warmth, the sunrise climbing like hope.

A new day, Yu Wen and Chu Han were still inseparable.

Their large down jackets wrapped around their bodies, their sharp chins hidden in their collars, two drowsy roly-polies pushing each other, dozing off, supporting and shoving each other.

In the ending blooper, Yu Wen woke Chu Han up and said something nonsensical.

“There are no Ultraman in this world, and I don’t have superpowers, it’s all fake, don’t believe it.”

The program group’s cursive subtitles appeared: More exciting content, please follow the spin-off show “Fun in the Mountains”…

「???」

「Ha, I’m not really interested, did you think I’d get VIP just for this content? Ha, I’m not upset…」

「Damn it, I want to turn the director into a spinning top that won’t stop for three lifetimes!」

「I knew it, there’s no such thing as a free lunch, and no free pretty boys on the internet.」

「There are bad people among the masses!」

No one could resist this kind of temptation. The audience cursed as they bought memberships and switched to the spin-off show.

Yu Wen also didn’t have a video membership, so he pulled out his phone and bought one.

The spin-off show was divided into two episodes. The first episode contained some heartwarming bloopers not included in the main show. The second episode was only thirty minutes long, but it was dominated by Yu Wen and Chu Han.

Without watching the spin-off show, Yu Wen wouldn’t have known he talked so much with Chu Han in private.

“Teacher Chu, a mushroom was walking on the road and got bumped by an orange. The mushroom got angry and said: You go die! And then the orange died, why?”

“Why?”

“Because the mushroom wanted the orange to die, and the orange had no choice but to die.”

“…”

“Do you know why top martial artists always die in the library?”

“…No, I don’t know.”

“Because they have a fear of secret texts.”¹密集恐惧症 (mìjí kǒngjù zhèng) means “trypophobia” (fear of dense clusters).
The term “密集” (mìjí) in this context refers to “dense” as in dense clusters.
However, “密” (mì) can also mean “secret” and “集” (jí) can mean “texts” or “collections.” So “密集” can sound like “secret texts” or “secret manuals,” which are often associated with martial arts.

“…”

In the afternoon, they were regrouped, and Yu Wen and Chu Han became teammates again, grabbed by the farmers to weed. Yu Wen was weeding while telling strange cold jokes.

He was so serious that Chu Han listened seriously too.

「Chu Han: (trying to understand) (failed to understand) (cursing)」

「Someone save our Teacher Chu, he looks like he’s about to break!」

「A new CP has appeared! How can we not progress!」

「Upstairs, who tops and who bottoms?」

「…They both look like they need to be loved hard in bed…」

「Forget it, I’ll let them go this time, let’s ship them as switch. (kindly)」

「Yay! YuChu switch is the best!」

In the evening, after listening to Yu Wen’s reasoning, Chu Han asked him if he had superpowers.

Yu Wen couldn’t deny it, so he simply admitted.

Chu Han showed a series of emotions: “I knew it,” “proud,” “very excited,” and “trying to control himself.”

He quietly told Yu Wen, “Remember to ask the program group to cut this part out, don’t let it air…”

Yu Wen replied, “Don’t worry. What should be aired will be aired, and what shouldn’t, naturally won’t be aired.”

Chu Han showed a relieved expression.

「Chu Han watching the show: Relieved too soon.」

「The show released the secret of superpowers to save the world. What if an evil organization sees it?!」

「Chu Han: Is this a secret only I know, or can the whole nation know? If everyone can know, then I won’t listen.」

「Aw, such cute babies, chewing in the corner, mommy wants to kiss you!」

「Report! YuChu CP is trending!」

「Great, the whole world should ship our kids’ friendship!」

Not even ten minutes later.

Yu Wen whispered in Chu Han’s ear, “There are no Ultraman in this world, and I don’t have superpowers. It’s all fake, don’t believe it.”

「Great, YuChu CP has broken up.」

「Damn! Another trending topic, #YuChuCPBrokenUp#」

「The key is Chu Han really believed it! Isn’t this even more shippable?」

「Fine, count me in, I’ll take a bite.」

The last scene was an additional interview with Chu Han after the recording ended. The staff asked him, “Teacher Chu, there’s a lot of online discussion about the superpower topic. What were you thinking at the time? Were you disappointed when you found out Teacher Yu doesn’t have superpowers?”

Chu Han was silent for a moment, then gave a polite smile, with three parts sadness, three parts resentment, and four parts embarrassment, making the smile particularly stiff.

Chu Han (fake smile version): “No, I didn’t believe it either. It was just a joke between colleagues. I wouldn’t take it seriously, hahaha.”

「’I didn’t believe it either’」

「’A joke between colleagues’ ‘I wouldn’t take it seriously’」

「’Hahaha’」

「Damn, he definitely believed it.」

「How can he be so cute!!!」

Footnotes:

• 1
  密集恐惧症 (mìjí kǒngjù zhèng) means “trypophobia” (fear of dense clusters).
  The term “密集” (mìjí) in this context refers to “dense” as in dense clusters.
  However, “密” (mì) can also mean “secret” and “集” (jí) can mean “texts” or “collections.” So “密集” can sound like “secret texts” or “secret manuals,” which are often associated with martial arts.