AD Chapter 42

Four days later, at Yunshan High-Speed Rail Station.

Shen Du didn’t bring much luggage, just a small bag with some essentials.

Today was the beginning of autumn. It had rained last night, and the temperature was low, so Shen Du wore a windbreaker jacket.

Qin Yi had originally wanted to go back with him, but Shen Du refused. It was just a trip home, not climbing mountains or crossing fire; there was no need.

He had already made up his mind to find the right moment to bring this matter up with his family. What he had told Qin Yi that day about “taking responsibility” wasn’t a joke.

He truly wanted to take responsibility.

He didn’t know how much Qin Yi liked him or whether one day Qin Yi might suddenly decide to break up with him.

But that wasn’t something he should be thinking about right now. He couldn’t let others’ shortcomings dictate his own actions.

This was the first time he had liked someone.

If he liked someone, he naturally had to give them all his love.

He was still young, he still had his family, and he wasn’t afraid of anything.

Just as he sat down in his seat, Qin Yi’s call came through. Shen Du accepted the water handed to him by the attendant. “The train just left; it’s only two stops. It’s not like it’s my first time taking the train. What could go wrong?”

“I’ll be there in half an hour. The family driver will pick me up at the station.”

Qin Yi said, “Can we video call?”

Shen Du was in a business class seat with a private space, so he wasn’t worried about disturbing anyone.

“Wait a moment, I’ll look for my earphones.”

Shen Du hung up the call, and just as he found and connected his earphones, Qin Yi’s video call came through.

Shen Du answered with a smile, “You’re really acting like my dad now.”

Back when he first started university, Shen Fushan had insisted on driving him there. Shen Du thought to himself, “I’m an adult now; who still needs their parents to take them to school?”

Although Shen Fushan didn’t end up driving him, he called and messaged nonstop along the way, asking where he was and how things were going.

Qin Yi was silent for a moment, then said directly, “I miss you. Come back soon.”

This time, it was Shen Du’s turn to fall silent: “…”

It was the first time someone had said they missed him. Shen Du leaned back against the seat, tucking his chin into his collar, and after a long while, responded softly, “Mm.”

Qin Yi seemed to notice that Shen Du wasn’t good at dealing with such things and started teasing him. Shen Du quickly interrupted, “What are you doing?”

Judging by the background, it looked like Qin Yi was still at home and hadn’t gone to the store today.

“Packing.” Qin Yi flipped the camera to show him.

Shen Du saw that Qin Yi was packing a suitcase and froze. “Where are you going?”

“Nowhere,” Qin Yi said. “In three days, I’ll come pick you up.”

Shen Du had only taken three days off from the store.

But it was still early. Shen Du muttered, “Why the rush? It’s not like I’m not coming back.”

“Shen Du,” Qin Yi suddenly called him, hesitating, “Do your parents… do your parents like tea?”

The phone was placed on the bed by Qin Yi. From this angle, Qin Yi could see Shen Du in the video, but Shen Du could only see Qin Yi’s hands folding clothes.

Shen Du’s eyes followed the watch on Qin Yi’s left hand as it moved across the screen. For a moment, he felt that what Qin Yi wanted to say earlier wasn’t this.

“My grandfather likes tea. My dad drank too much of it as a kid, so he doesn’t like it anymore,” Shen Du said. “Why, are you planning to give them a gift?”

Qin Yi didn’t deny it. “I have that in mind.”

Shen Du couldn’t figure out what he meant by that. After a moment, he simply said, “Oh.” Then he asked, “What about me? What are you giving me?”

Qin Yi half-joked, half-seriously said, “I’ll give you my heart. Do you want it?”

The temperature in Jing City was slightly lower than in Yunshan. As soon as Shen Du stepped off the platform, he saw Uncle Chen, the family driver.

“Xiao Du, over here!”

Uncle Chen hadn’t seen him in a while and immediately started fussing over him.

Uncle Chen had been driving for their family for over a decade and had practically watched Shen Du grow up. They chatted for a while, but then Shen Du’s phone rang.

It was an old friend from Yunshan, probably someone who’d heard from his parents that he was coming back and wanted to hang out.

But Shen Du had things to take care of this trip and would be returning to Yunshan soon, so he didn’t have time to meet up.

After about half an hour, they arrived. Shen Du ended the call and sent Qin Yi a message to let him know he had arrived safely.

The front gate was open, and Uncle Chen dropped him off at the entrance before leaving.

Shen Du carried his bag into the courtyard. From the second floor, Yao Meiyuan spotted him and leaned out of the window, calling, “Son!”

Shen Du looked up. “Mom!”

“Come here and let me see if you’ve lost weight recently.”

As soon as he stepped into the living room, Yao Meiyuan grabbed him and looked him over thoroughly, exclaiming in surprise, “You haven’t lost weight.”

“I heard from your dad that you’ve been ordering takeout every day. I thought you’d been suffering.”

Shen Fushan came in after watering the flowers outside. “Didn’t he say last time that he found someone to share meals with? He’s probably eating well. I even think he’s gained weight.”

“No way, he looks just right.” No mother would think her child was fat. Yao Meiyuan turned to glare at his dad. “I think you’re the one who’s gained weight, enjoying yourself abroad.”

After being called out by his wife, Shen Fushan didn’t dare say another word. He went back to watering the flowers but turned around and asked, “By the way, you never told us who this person cooking for you is. A friend? Or a girlfriend?”

Shen Du denied it. “Neither.”

Shen Fushan feigned surprise. “Could it be… the snail maiden?”

Shen Du thought this was a good opportunity. Clearing his throat, he began, “Mom, Dad, I have something to—”

“Ding-dong~~”

The doorbell rang.

It was Aunt Xiao from next door, inviting Yao Meiyuan out for shopping.

“Oh, Xiao Du is back! I was just chatting with your mom, thinking it’d still be a while before you returned.”

Shen Du had no choice but to swallow his words and smiled instead. “Aunt Xiao, long time no see. You’re looking even prettier.”

Aunt Xiao laughed. “This kid, still so good with words.”

Shen Fushan, still holding the watering can, hesitated. “What were you about to say?”

Shen Du glanced at Yao Meiyuan, who was chatting with Aunt Xiao, and paused. “Nothing, it’s not important.”

Shen Fushan shrugged and went back to his flowers.

Shen Du was about to head upstairs when he heard Yao Meiyuan call him back. He stopped at the staircase corner and peeked out. “What is it?”

“I’m going shopping with Aunt Xiao later. You’ll come with us, right? You don’t have anything else to do, do you?”

Shen Du really didn’t have anything planned. “You just want me to carry your bags again, don’t you?”

“Come on, we’re leaving soon.”

Back in his room, Shen Du quickly showered and changed into clean clothes. Not wanting to keep them waiting, he grabbed his phone and headed out.

Shen Du drove them.

Aunt Xiao sat in the back, chatting with Yao Meiyuan. As they talked, her gaze fell on Shen Du.

Having been neighbors for over a decade, Aunt Xiao had watched Shen Du grow up. The fair and delicate child from back then had grown into someone mature and dependable.

“Meiyuan, I think your Shen Du has grown up a lot this time,” Aunt Xiao remarked.

“Really?” Yao Meiyuan scrutinized him again but didn’t see any difference. “He looks the same as always.”

“No, he’s different,” Aunt Xiao said, shaking her head. “He’s steadier now, like a real adult.”

Yao Meiyuan didn’t understand what seemed different. Shen Du, however, thought that Aunt Xiao, who used to be a teacher, had a sharp eye.

Although he didn’t quite understand how Aunt Xiao noticed, he also felt that he seemed a bit different from before.

The three of them shopped all afternoon. Yao Meiyuan had a wedding banquet to attend in a few days, so she picked out several dresses. Shen Du wasn’t idle either, carrying bags, giving opinions, and communicating with the store staff. He was busy the entire afternoon. When Yao Meiyuan came out of the fitting room after changing, she saw his back and suddenly felt a strong sense that her son had grown up.

“All done?” she walked over.

Aunt Xiao’s son had just come to pick her up, leaving only the two of them. Shen Du put everything into the trunk and said as he walked toward the driver’s seat, “Mom, I’ve booked a restaurant. Let’s have dinner with Dad tonight.”

Yao Meiyuan got into the passenger seat and, after thinking for a moment, asked, “Is today a special occasion?”

It wasn’t like they hadn’t eaten out before, but it was usually suggested by her or Shen Fushan. Her son rarely brought it up, saying he was too lazy to bother.

“It’s not a special occasion,” Shen Du said. “It’s just that we haven’t seen each other for a while. Let’s have a family meal together.”

“Alright, I’ll call your dad.”

Shen Fushan had gone to the office in the afternoon to handle some matters.

Shen Du opened his phone to check the navigation. He hadn’t had time to look at his phone all afternoon and found that Qin Yi had sent him many messages, along with several missed calls. His heart skipped a beat, thinking something might have happened. He quickly pulled over and called back.

Qin Yi answered quickly, his voice slightly hoarse. “Hello?”

“What’s wrong? Why were you trying so hard to reach me?” Shen Du kept his tone neutral, not wanting to appear too intimate in front of his mom.

It was noisy on the other end, but Qin Yi’s voice was very low. Shen Du listened for a while before finally making out that Qin Yi might have said, “I miss you.”

Given the current situation, he couldn’t respond and only said, “I’m with my mom now, planning to have dinner.”

Qin Yi was silent for two seconds, leaving only the sound of the wind.

Just then, Shen Fushan answered his wife’s call and Yao Meiyuan was distracted. Shen Du tilted his head toward the window and asked, “Are you driving?”

Qin Yi gave a soft “Mm” and then asked, “Have you told your parents about us?”

“Not yet.”

There hadn’t been an opportunity today. “Why?”

“Shen Du,” Qin Yi called his name.

“Mm?”

“Are you really sure about telling your parents about us?” Qin Yi asked.

The question lingered in Shen Du’s mind even as they arrived at the restaurant. Something about Qin Yi’s tone seemed off, but he couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was.

“What’s wrong with you? You seem preoccupied.” Yao Meiyuan walked over and took his arm. “Your dad’s almost here. Let’s go inside.”

Shen Du handed the car keys to the valet.

“Nothing, just thinking about a friend.”

“Was it the one you were on the phone with just now?”

Shen Du was surprised she knew. Yao Meiyuan smiled knowingly. “You’re my son. Of course, I’d know.”

“That person isn’t just a friend, right?” Seeing his startled expression, Yao Meiyuan couldn’t hold back her laughter this time.

She had just been marveling at how he’d grown up, but now it seemed he was still the same boy who wore his heart on his sleeve.

“What are you afraid of? You’re 22. Do you think your dad and I would disapprove of you dating?” Yao Meiyuan said. “Your dad even mentioned before that you might be in a relationship. He was upset, wondering why you didn’t tell us. He thought maybe we did something wrong to make you afraid to talk to us.”

“I thought about it carefully. We never forbade you from dating when you were younger, so I don’t understand why you’d be scared.”

But seeing her son acting so secretive earlier, Yao Meiyuan felt like a thorn had been lodged in her heart. She began to reflect on whether she and Shen Fushan had done something to give Shen Du the wrong impression.

She thought about it all the way to the restaurant but couldn’t figure it out.

So, it could only be about that “friend.”

“You’re in a relationship.” Yao Meiyuan’s tone was calm but firm. “And the other person is a man, isn’t he?”

Shen Du stared at her in shock.

“Curious how I knew?”

Yao Meiyuan smiled faintly. “You’re my son. How could I not know?”

They walked into the private dining room and sat down.

The server handed them menus but left politely after learning they were waiting for someone.

The room fell silent. Shen Du sat stiffly, his hands clenched on his lap. The pressure hurt, but he couldn’t help it. Finally, he couldn’t hold back anymore. “Mom…”

“Don’t be afraid. I understand. I can accept it.”

Shen Du was stunned again. “How did you know?”

Even he hadn’t realized it himself until Qin Yi confessed to him and forced him to face it. Before that, he’d never considered the possibility that he might be gay.

Yet Yao Meiyuan had remained calm throughout, as if she had long since accepted that her son was gay.

“You might not have noticed, but you’ve always shown more interest in the same sex since you were young.”

…

Off the highway, Qin Yi wandered aimlessly through the streets. After a while, a friend in Beijing sent him a message.

[I found Shen’s address. Here’s Shen Fushan’s number: 178 ××××××××]
[Location info]

Qin Yi parked by the roadside and replied, “OK, thanks.”

After sending the reply, he exited the chat and opened his pinned conversation.

Since their earlier voice call, Shen Du hadn’t sent him another message.

Qin Yi scrolled through their chat history. In Yunshan, they saw each other almost daily, rarely texting. Even when they did, there were often instances of one of them leaving the other on read.

It was perfectly normal.

Not long ago, they had just spoken on the phone, but Qin Yi couldn’t calm down.

He had chased after Shen Du from Yunshan because he was afraid that Shen Du would fail to come out to his parents, get locked up, and be forced to break up with him.

Admittedly, when Shen Du said he wanted to “take responsibility” for him that day, Qin Yi felt deeply moved. But it was precisely this honey-like sweetness that made it the most dangerous.

Once you’ve tasted the sweetness, how can you let it go?

Shen Du hadn’t been “bent” for long. Qin Yi worried that if Shen Fushan got angry, he might “straighten” him back.

When they first got together, Qin Yi had thought about this day. He had optimistically believed that as long as he gave Shen Du enough time and treated him well—better and better—Shen Du would eventually fall in love with him.

He had planned everything, arranging their future lives together.

He thought they could at least wait until Shen Du graduated.

But he hadn’t expected this day to come so soon, nor for Shen Du to bring it up himself.

That day, the boy’s eyes were so innocent and full of anticipation, all for the sake of giving him a so-called “title.” How could Qin Yi bear to crush his hopes with cruel reality? How could he refuse?

Qin Yi sent Shen Du a message: “Which restaurant are you eating at?”

But after typing it, he deleted it. Knowing wouldn’t change anything. He couldn’t just rush over there. And even if he did, then what? Would he make Shen Du feel torn between him and his parents?

Impossible.

The only thing he could do now was trust Shen Du.

He would respect any decision Shen Du made.

Qin Yi restarted his car and headed toward Shen’s family home.

*

*

“I’ll talk to your dad,” Yao Meiyuan said. “Were you planning to bring this up as soon as you got back?”

Shen Du hesitated. “Will Dad be scared to death by me?”

“Not to that extent. Your dad’s just dense.”

Shen Du felt like his mom’s words had a deeper meaning: What?

“Probably back in college,” Yao Meiyuan said. “That was when I first met your dad. We weren’t dating yet.”

“Your dad back then was a lot like you now—very popular with both girls and guys. Among his group of buddies, there was one with… particular feelings for him. That guy wanted to pursue your dad, but your dad was too dense to notice. He even went out of his way to get close to him, making his friend misunderstand and almost confess.”

Shen Du was stunned. “And then?”

“Then your dad confessed to me that very night.”

“…”

“To be honest,” Yao Meiyuan continued, “at the time, my friends and I all thought your dad and his buddy were a couple.”

“So that’s why you didn’t agree to date him right away,” Shen Du said, shocked.

“Exactly,” Yao Meiyuan said. “I didn’t want to get caught up in that mess.”

After observing for a while, she realized Shen Fushan was as straight as they come, and only then did she start liking him.

“I’ve seen a lot in my time,” Yao Meiyuan said, swirling her wine glass. “So I’ll handle your dad. It’s a good chance to settle some old scores.”

Shen Du: “…”

He silently mourned for Shen Fushan for three seconds.

*

A few minutes later, Shen Fushan arrived. Yao Meiyuan called out to her son, with a hint of teasing, “Doesn’t your dad look handsome today?”

Shen Du looked over seriously for the first time. Shen Fushan had just come from a meeting with the company’s top executives. His formal suit made him look especially refined and cultured.

Almost instantly, Shen Du thought of Qin Yi. The same suit, but Qin Yi wore it with a completely different vibe.

He realized he was starting to miss Qin Yi.

Shen Fushan said, “When am I ever not handsome?”

The moment he spoke, his image shattered. Yao Meiyuan sighed in exasperation.

Shen Du took the chance to check his phone, but there were no new messages. He hesitated, then sent one:

[°: I told my mom about us.]

Just as Yao Meiyuan called for him to order, Shen Du put his phone away. The three of them enjoyed a harmonious candlelit dinner, but Shen Du’s mind was elsewhere.

Qin Yi still hadn’t replied.

The earlier strange feeling crept back.

“Eat your food,” Shen Fushan said. “What are you doing?”

[Blame: I was driving just now.]
[Blame: When will you be home?]

When Shen Du saw the message, he was already driving back. As usual, he was the one behind the wheel.

Was Qin Yi not curious about how his parents reacted?

[°: I’m on my way home now.]

From the back seat, Shen Fushan reminded him, “Don’t look at your phone while driving.”

Shen Du replied, “Got it,” and turned off his phone.

*

By the time they got home, the sky had darkened.

Shen Du parked the car at the entrance and quickly checked Qin Yi’s messages.

[Blame: I’m outside your house.]

Shen Du shot up from the couch.

“What’s going on?” Shen Fushan asked as he and Yao Meiyuan entered.

“Something came up. You two go inside first!”

Outside, the streetlights weren’t very bright.

Shen Du ran out the door and immediately spotted the headlights of a car.

Qin Yi stood beside it, quietly watching him approach.

The moment he saw him, all the chaotic thoughts in Shen Du’s mind vanished. He even forgot to question him, and all his earlier irritation turned into surprise. “Why are you here?”

Qin Yi had his hands in his pockets, a cigarette dangling from his lips. He lowered his head, calmly studying Shen Du’s expression, as if confirming something.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?” Shen Du asked, panting.

“Shen Du,” Qin Yi called his name.

“What?”

“Hug me.”

Shen Du found it strange but still opened his arms and embraced him. He felt the tension in Qin Yi’s shoulders suddenly release, accompanied by the pounding of his heart.

“What’s wrong with you?”

He thought Qin Yi was acting really strange.

“You told your mom about us,” Qin Yi said, holding him tightly, his voice low. “She didn’t oppose us?”

“I was just about to tell you—my mom actually knew I was gay before I did.”

Shen Du recounted everything he had discussed with Yao Meiyuan earlier, even laughing at how his tendency to attract gay men might have been inherited from his dad. He went on and on, completely unaware that Qin Yi hadn’t taken in a single word.

As Shen Du was getting carried away with his storytelling, he suddenly felt a hand slide under his shirt, moving up along his spine.

Shen Du tensed up. “Don’t mess around.”

They were outside his house!

“Shen Du,” Qin Yi called him again.

That voice—it was intoxicatingly soft.

Shen Du had a feeling he might not make it back inside unscathed tonight.

“What is it?” he asked quietly.

Qin Yi rested his chin against Shen Du’s head. “I want to kiss you.”

It wasn’t a request—it was a declaration.

Before Shen Du could respond, Qin Yi had already tilted his head and kissed him. As their lips met, Shen Du instinctively opened his mouth.

One hand pressed against the back of Shen Du’s head, the other against his waist. Their chests were pressed together, and Shen Du felt as though Qin Yi was trying to meld him into his own body.

What began as a gentle kiss deepened into something far more intense. Qin Yi’s tongue almost seemed to reach Shen Du’s throat.

As he kissed him, Qin Yi murmured Shen Du’s name in a low voice. The sound of cicadas filled the summer night, mingling with the loud, wet noises of their kiss, which seemed to echo in Shen Du’s ears. He started worrying that Shen Fushan and Yao Meiyuan inside the house might hear them.

“Mm…” Shen Du felt overwhelmed, struggling for air as the available oxygen in his mouth dwindled. Saliva he couldn’t swallow trickled from the corners of their mouths, leaving their chins wet and glistening under the faint light.

Shen Du was kissed into a daze, unable to think at all.

Qin Yi’s kisses were fierce—so fierce.

When their lips finally parted, a thin string of saliva stretched between them. Qin Yi rested his forehead against Shen Du’s, his thumb gently wiping away the moisture at the corner of his lips. In a low voice, he said, “Shen Du.”

He couldn’t bring himself to tell Shen Du about the worries he’d carried all day. All he could do was call his name over and over.

Shen Du felt that something was seriously off about Qin Yi tonight. His eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and his voice, softened by the kiss, asked, “What’s wrong with you?”

“Shen Du,” Qin Yi said his name again, holding him tightly, his gaze lowered, unblinking as he looked at him. “Do you like me?”

From that day at Yunda until now, Shen Du had never once said he liked him.

Out of nowhere, they had kissed. Out of nowhere, they had slept together. Out of nowhere, they had ended up here.

Shen Du seemed to finally understand Qin Yi’s unusual behavior tonight.

He still owed him an answer.

It turned out that the one worrying all along wasn’t just himself.

Maybe it was because of the long conversation with Yao Meiyuan earlier, or maybe it was because that kiss had conveyed so much unspoken emotion. Shen Du suddenly didn’t care about anything else.

“I like you. I really like you,” he said.

Hadn’t he already decided on the way here?

Even if Qin Yi didn’t like him, he would still like Qin Yi.

He wanted a love he would never regret.

“And you? Do you like me?”

“I do.”

Qin Yi held him tightly, his voice soft. “Shen Du, I like you so much.”