I’m the Useless Counterpart to an Overachieving Transmigrator

UCTOOT CH85.1

With Du Zihan and Song Sinan stationed at the military farming colony tending vegetables and plowing fields, Shi Shu found himself with nothing to do. He thought: They’ve been sentenced to three months of hard labor, roughly from June to September. Does that mean I’m on summer vacation?

During this period, Xie Wuchi traveled daily between the administrative office and his private residence. Every afternoon, Shi Shu went to meet him as he finished his duties, whiling away the hours in leisurely comfort.

However, only a few days into this “summer vacation,” he ran into a familiar figure, and his heart gave a sudden lurch.

Damn it. Looks like I have to work a summer job.

The man was clad in coarse linen robes, carrying a medicine chest on his back and holding a single bamboo pole in his hand. He radiated a rugged, ancient vigor, a water gourd slung at his waist as he trudged forward through the swirling dust. His sharp eyes seemed capable of seeing straight through the suffering of common mortals.

Shi Shu was sitting beside the wooden bridge eating watermelon, waiting for Xie Wuchi to leave the office. Upon spotting the man, he paid the vendor, saying, “Pick me another thin-skinned, sweet one! Much appreciated!”

Carrying the watermelon, Shi Shu followed behind him with a grin. He watched Lin Yangchun gaze back and forth through the bustling crowd with a contemplative air, eventually setting up a makeshift stall in the middle of the market, arranging numerous bottled ointments for sale.

As Shi Shu drew near, the man was organizing his medicine chest. Shi Shu casually picked up a vial. “Master, is this golden wound ointment for treating blade cuts?”

“Indeed. Two hundred copper coins a bottle.”

“The banner here bears the name Lin Yangchun. Could you perhaps be that Divine Physician Lin Yangchun from the Imperial Medical Bureau?”

Lin Yangchun kept retrieving medicine without looking up. “I walk without changing my given name, sit without altering my surname. It is I.”

Shi Shu said, “How come I’ve seen this formula before? Last year, I ran into two refugees who claimed to be direct disciples of Divine Physician Lin from the Imperial Medical Bureau. I bought a bottle, but my bruises and sprains never healed.”

“Utterly impossible!” Lin Yangchun snapped his head up. “You were swindled!”

Seeing the young man’s fair, smiling face, holding a whole watermelon in one arm and grinning at him until even the afternoon sunlight seemed softer, Lin Yangchun’s expression shifted into slight surprise. “Why, it’s you, Young Master Xie.”

Shi Shu set the medicine bottle down. “I was about to ask why you’re here. The Crown Prince took the throne as Emperor, and you’re the Chief Physician of the Imperial Medical Bureau. Why seek out bitter hardship instead of enjoying your blessings?”

Lin Yangchun scoffed. “I am a stubborn donkey. If I like a place, I arrive unbidden. If I do not, no power on earth can compel me.”

Shi Shu said, “I admire you. Truly.”

“Still peddling your wares? Come on, let me treat you to a meal.” Shi Shu tugged at his sleeve.

“Hold on, tending the stall comes first. Let me sell a few bottles to earn some travel fare,” Lin Yangchun replied. “Speaking of which, I meant to ask you about what you just mentioned. I’ve been wondering why people along the roads have been using my name to sell counterfeit medicine, nearly getting me beaten several times as a fraud. Did you—”

Shi Shu cried, “Ah! Not me! Whenever I borrowed your name, I only sold genuine remedies!”

Lin Yangchun snorted, “Hmph. I shall believe you this once.”

Shi Shu sat down behind him, sliced open the watermelon with a knife, handed a wedge to Lin Yangchun, and the two sat together hawking medicine. They sold until four or five in the afternoon before packing up. Shi Shu said, “My brother will be returning to the residence shortly. Do you care to meet with him?”

Lin Yangchun said, “There is no need. I traveled from the Eastern Capital to this borderland solely to enlist as an army physician. High-ranking dignitaries or destitute peasants—all possess the same mouth, nose, eyes, ears, and throat. I come only to tend the sick, not to flatter nobles.”

Shi Shu couldn’t help laughing. “Who said anything about flattering him? Just catching up as old friends.”

Lin Yangchun relented: “Fair enough.”

Shi Shu accompanied Lin Yangchun to the General Commander’s administrative office. Just as they arrived, a page came out to report: “Second Young Master, the Pacification Commissioner is hosting a banquet tonight. His Lordship has departed for the feast and will likely return late.”

Shi Shu said, “That works out perfectly. Tell him I ran into Lin Yangchun, and I will be out drinking late tonight as well.”

With that, Shi Shu pushed Lin Yangchun forward. “Dinner, dinner! Where are you staying tonight? Why not stay at the General Commander’s estate?”

Lin Yangchun said, “Taking favors leaves one beholden, and accepting meals weakens one’s tongue. I shall find an inn on my own.”

Shi Shu bent double with laughter. “Are you really that terrified of being roped into my brother’s staff?”

Lin Yangchun remarked, “Your elder brother has a brooding, deeply somber nature. His spiritual ailments are bound to fester sooner or later. I have no desire to be forcefully retained!”

Shi Shu’s smile hitched. He patted the physician’s arm. “Understood, understood. You still have to rush off to save thousands upon thousands on the battlefield.”

Winding through the alleys, they stopped at a tavern overlooking the street near Yuanji Temple. Pushing open the lattice window revealed the lively market below, crowded with foot traffic. Shi Shu placed an order with the waiter, and Lin Yangchun finally set down his medicine chest, relaxing into his seat.

From the autumn they escorted Xie Wuchi into exile until today, it had been nearly two full years since they last saw each other. Shi Shu poured out everything that had happened: leaving Dasheng Prefecture, roaming the empire, drifting downstream to the seaside fishing village, and returning to Changping Prefecture to cross paths with his brother again.

Lin Yangchun listened, asking only about regional landscapes and available herbs. At last, he asked, “Between you and Lord Xie, I saw through the charade long ago that you were not true brothers. Are you two lovers?”

Shi Shu’s vision blacked out. “Excuse me?!”

Lin Yangchun reached into his chest and pulled out a small cloth bundle. “Inside are some specialized balms and dried sheep intestines. Consider them a gift. If you have need in the future, seek me out. From the patients I have treated over the years, when man lies with man, bodily injury occurs with alarming ease.“

Just as the waiter arrived carrying steaming dishes, Shi Shu spat out a mouthful of buckwheat tea: “Physician Lin, your heart truly overflows with medical benevolence!”

The food ordered consisted of local delicacies. While the meals served at the grand residence were refined, Xie Wuchi’s palate favored milder flavors, which tasted rather bland to Shi Shu. Small street taverns tossed in plenty of dried chilies and rich spices, allowing Shi Shu to eat with immense relish. Lin Yangchun commented, “Though hardly conducive to health preservation, it is undeniably flavorful.”

Shi Shu said, “Eat up, and I’ll take you through the night market afterward!”

Then a thought struck him: “You arrived entirely on your own, so how do you plan to enter the military camp?”

Lin Yangchun withdrew a letter. “An old acquaintance of mine currently serves as a private clerk under one of the General Commander’s military advisors. He wrote to me, promising that as long as I came, he would secure my placement in the ranks to tend to sick soldiers.”

Shi Shu said, “Good, then I won’t worry. When do you report?”

“I shall practice medicine in the city for a few days before heading over; there is no rush.”

The two ate and drank to their hearts’ content. Lin Yangchun was a widower in his forties; his wife had been his childhood sweetheart, but she died of illness at an early age, leaving him solitary, upright, and uncompromising. As Shi Shu led him through the streets, Lin Yangchun strolled with his hands clasped behind his back, his gaunt face dignified and stern. Yet when Shi Shu bought fried skewers and stinky tofu, the physician furrowed his brows and cautiously took a bite.

With the Dragon Boat Festival approaching, lantern fairs illuminated the city, making the streets especially bustling over the past few days. Strolling beneath the swaying willows, Shi Shu asked, “Do you visit Pei Wenqing’s grave every year?”

Lin Yangchun said, “I have known so many dead men. How could I have the time to visit every solitary grave? Tending to the living leaves me with no breath to spare.”

Shi Shu said, “Must you be so aloof? Ah, having treated patients in the Imperial Medical Bureau for so many years, your heart has grown as cold as your surgical blades.”

Along the river, wooden rafts clustered together, bridges arched one after another, and besides painted pleasure boats, crowds gathered beneath open pavilions to drink. Shi Shu asked, “Care for another cup, Old Lin?”

Lin Yangchun fell silent for a heartbeat. “Pour it. So young, yet you carry the weary heart of an old man.”

Shi Shu sat down and drank, the shifting shadows of climbing vines rippling across the surface of his cup, his thoughts drifting. I wonder what Zihan is doing right now. Staying with Song Sinan, he’s probably planting melons under the mulberry shade, diving into the river to cool off once night falls, splashing around with Laifu. At least I don’t need to worry about him.

Shi Shu murmured to himself, What is Xie Wuchi doing? The scenery here is quite lovely; if I brought him along… His voice trailed off.

Perhaps part of human happiness lay in gathering with a few friends after exhaustion, wandering aimlessly with nothing to do.

Shi Shu stared at the koi beneath the pavilion. When fish feed was tossed, schools of colorful carp breached the surface, their vibrant tails thrashing in a merry, celebratory dance. Shi Shu withdrew his gaze, muttering under his breath, “I really ought to bring Xie Wuchi here.”

Lin Yangchun shook his head and drained his cup.

They wandered until past nine before preparing to return. Lin Yangchun lodged at an ordinary inn, with guards lingering unobtrusively not far behind Shi Shu. After seeing the physician off, Shi Shu asked casually, “Has His Lordship returned to the estate?”

“Not yet, it seems.”

Shi Shu let out a breath. “Come on, let’s go wait for him.”

Although meeting him served little practical purpose, it lightened the mood. Whenever he traveled far from home back in the modern world, his parents always picked him up; when attending training camps, his father always came to fetch him. If he wanted to show genuine affection, waiting for Xie Wuchi to finish work felt like an essential courtesy.

Outside the Pacification Commissioner’s estate where the feast was hosted, carriages and palanquins packed the street. Ornate canopies shaded the lanterns, silk draperies billowed, and servants formed dense throngs. Shi Shu picked idly at his fingers until cheers and music echoed from within, and a group of officials escorted Xie Wuchi outside.

The attendants by the palanquin immediately stepped forward. The Pacification Commissioner personally saw him off, draped in rich brocades, his face flushed with wine and broad smiles. Walking toward the litter, Xie Wuchi’s gaze shifted as he spotted Shi Shu. “You—”

Shi Shu said, “It’s fine, it was on the way! Just strolling nearby, heard you were still here, so I swung by to check. Didn’t expect you to walk out right away. Let’s head back together.”

Xie Wuchi said, “I will not take the palanquin. Let us walk.”

The two strode ahead while an entourage of guards and servants trailed behind. For some reason, Shi Shu always felt awkward standing before Xie Wuchi in front of strangers, as though they were mere acquaintances.

Xie Wuchi asked, “The guards mentioned Lin Yangchun arrived in Yanzhou?”

Shi Shu hummed an affirmative, casually tucking the lubricant and sheep intestines Lin Yangchun had gifted him deeper into his robes, scratching his soft hair with one hand. “He said he plans to join the army to treat wounded soldiers. Twenty years ago he was just a young lad, caught in the war without sufficient skill, but now he is a master physician and wants to save lives on the battlefield.”

Xie Wuchi asked, “You discussed all this with him?”

“We also had a meal near Yuanji Temple and toured Dongling Garden.”

“Dongling Garden is several li away from here.”

Shi Shu said, “Uh, it wasn’t bad. I walked there in the blink of an eye.”

Xie Wuchi bowed his head, faint shadows pooling beneath his eyelashes. Shi Shu couldn’t ignore the retinue trailing behind. Having grown up in a prominent family, Xie Wuchi was accustomed to an army of servants catering to his needs, but Shi Shu found it suffocating. As he walked, he couldn’t help glancing back over his shoulder.

A waning moon hung over the bridge. Stepping onto the crest, Xie Wuchi said, “Before long, I must make a trip to Yunzhou.”

Shi Shu asked, “Yunzhou? Why?”

“Yunzhou is currently besieged by Beimin forces. Times have changed; Beimin’s siege tactics have advanced considerably, beyond comparison with twenty years ago. Though Yunzhou’s terrain is formidable, the land outside has already been cleared in a scorched-earth retreat, leaving the city surrounded on three sides. Its rations, armaments, and soldiers will be exhausted sooner or later. Feng Zhongshan cannot withstand such an assault, not to mention the factional power struggles churning behind him at court. Once His Majesty issues an imperial edict, the relief army must march; it is only a matter of days.”

Shi Shu said, “You are going to battle? Good, have orders arrived already…”

“Not yet. I cannot mobilize troops recklessly without authority. Yet judging by His Majesty’s intent, it is prudent to prepare ahead. Dajing’s fortifications are outdated. Beimin may claim victory, but we must not allow them to gain too much ground, lest they grow too powerful to uproot later.”

Shi Shu said, “Understood.”

If Xie Wuchi marched to war, Shi Shu would almost certainly not be allowed to accompany him; a campaign could easily drag on for months. Since their reunion, they had spent little time together. Xie Wuchi spent each day in the administrative office handling civil and military affairs, and Shi Shu felt too embarrassed to linger in someone’s workplace, leaving him to kill time at a tea stall listening to storytellers while waiting for him to finish work.

For some reason, Shi Shu gritted his teeth, realizing his grand scheme was proving exceedingly difficult. Yet he voiced no complaint, retreating to his own courtyard once they arrived at the estate.

Initially, he had shared a bed with Xie Wuchi once, excusing it as an unexpected necessity of an urgent reunion. But after staying in this manor for nearly a week, continuing to sleep in the same room felt impossible.

Shi Shu rubbed his face, staring blankly ahead.

What now?

A massive bodhi tree grew in the courtyard. Shi Shu’s quarters sat adjacent to Xie Wuchi’s, separated only by a single wall. The courtyard was spacious, adorned with rockeries, chirping birds, and landscaped window views, while the interior was furnished with antiques, calligraphy, and fine ornaments. Yet Shi Shu found it eerily vast and uncomfortable to occupy alone.

Entering the room, Shi Shu lit the oil lamp and tipped out the balm and sheep intestines Lin Yangchun had pressed upon him. The ointment sat within a pale jade container; lifting the lid revealed a slick, oily balm that emitted a faint, herbal fragrance.

What is this for? Why on earth would two men need something like this? Shi Shu half-understood. Examining the dried sheep intestines washed clean with saline, its shape made its purpose glaringly obvious. His fingers burned as he dropped it like a hot coal: “Damn it!”

Was Lin Yangchun promoting scientific contraception in ancient times?!

He even uncovered the secrets of human genetics! Divine Physician Lin, where do your talents end?!

Shi Shu packed the items away. The balm container was quite compact, resembling modern winter cold cream used to prevent skin cracking, so he tucked it into his pocket. Flumping onto the bed, sleep completely eluded him.

Restless. Deeply restless. Shi Shu thought of Xie Wuchi back in the watchtower at Bai Family Settlement: noble and dignified by day, yet stripped of propriety at night, thoroughly sensual and vibrant. A hot flush crept across Shi Shu’s fair cheeks as he tossed and turned in awkward agitation.

What on earth am I doing?

Shi Shu sat in the courtyard gazing up at the night sky. Was Xie Wuchi currently writing in his journal or reading scrolls? If he marched off to Yunzhou, wouldn’t they be separated for an eternity?

Might as well make a move.

Shi Shu vaulted right over the dividing wall into the neighboring courtyard.

The night was murky, dim moonlight mingling with scattered starlight, the roofs swallowed by darkness. Sharp rockeries jutted upward like jagged spires. Behind Xie Wuchi’s courtyard lay a landscaped grove; the gnarled shadows of cypress trees loomed so eerily it felt as though someone had hanged themselves there.

Sprinting forward, Shi Shu muttered under his breath: Just how long are you going to be in Yunzhou anyway…

Running hastily, he darted through the trees in a few strides, only to find a natural hot spring bath steaming before him. Warm vapor billowed across the surface, water rippling softly. Amidst the hazy white mist beneath the moonlight, a familiar silhouette came into view.

Xie Wuchi sat within the pool, propping his forehead with one hand, his black hair cascading down his shoulders. He appeared to be soaking with his eyes closed to rest, but upon hearing a branch snap beneath a shoe, he opened his eyes. A faint mist veiled his dark pupils.

Shi Shu gasped, unable to stop in time, and simply walked forward with an awkward grin: “I came to find you, didn’t expect you to be soaking in a hot spring. I haven’t tried this bath yet.”

Xie Wuchi leaned slightly forward. “You may come try it.”

“…………”

Lowering his head, Shi Shu walked over and perched on a stone beside the pool. “I won’t soak, I already bathed earlier. I just came over to talk to you.”

Xie Wuchi asked, “What is it?”

Shi Shu said, “These next few days, I plan to set up a stall with Lin Yangchun. He’s running a three-day clinic in the city, and I’m helping him dispense medicine, so I might not be able to meet you after work on time.”

Xie Wuchi said, “Is that so?”

Shi Shu quickly added, “Don’t worry, I can roughly guarantee I’ll make it by the time you finish. Don’t worry, I won’t abandon you just for Lin Yangchun.”

Xie Wuchi murmured, “Alright.”

Shi Shu’s face grew hotter the more he spoke: “Um, I went to Dongling Garden with him today. The goldfish in the ponds are gorgeous. When you have a day off, can we go together?”

Xie Wuchi said, “Alright. Wait two more days.”

Shi Shu stammered, “It’s been sweltering lately, be careful not to get heatstroke. I heard someone collapsed from the heat while listening to a storyteller today.”

Shi Shu wanted to tug at his messy hair, grinding his molars in silent frustration. What an atrocious line…

Xie Wuchi went quiet. His wooden hairpin suddenly slipped, falling into the water with a soft plop. Reaching into the pool to feel around for it, Shi Shu asked, “What happened?”

“My hair tie fell in.”

Shi Shu leaned forward to help search. The water was pleasantly warm. Swishing his hands through the water, his fingers accidentally brushed against Xie Wuchi’s calf.

Shi Shu let out a muffled yelp and went to pull back, his handsome face flushing bright red. But his wrist was caught. Xie Wuchi’s misty eyes locked onto him as he spoke three quiet words: “Want to play?”

“…………”

Though he had come of his own accord, his clumsy attempts at making conversation felt utterly pathetic. His thoughts ran hot, terrified his nasal membranes would betray him again, his ears burning crimson while his calves trembled slightly.

Xie Wuchi asked in a low rasp, “Where do you want to play with me?”

Blood surged straight to Shi Shu’s face, leaving him dizzy and lightheaded. He shook his head, biting his lip as he thought: Xie Wuchi, you sure catch on fast!

Frozen in place, his peach-blossom eyes widened, brimming with sudden sentiment, yet his soul felt thoroughly rattled.

Xie Wuchi’s damp palm covered his hand, his voice hushed: “Do you want to play with me here?”

Shi Shu swallowed hard, his back stiffening, wishing he could curl into a ball. This outcome seemed ideal, but what next? What was he supposed to do now? Engaging in physical contact without an emotional foundation made them mere casual partners; shouldn’t he define the relationship first? Everything else could follow.

His throat felt dry. His palm rubbed against scorching, veined skin, drawing a soft, trembling sigh from Xie Wuchi. When Shi Shu’s fingers closed around him, the hollow of the man’s shoulder dipped, the sinewy lines of muscle and collarbone undulating into a wild, sensual shape.

Dizzy and desperate to steer their dynamic, Shi Shu blurted out the first solution that popped into his head: “Xie Wuchi, are we dating?”

Xie Wuchi breathed, “Hmm?”

Shi Shu pressed, “Do we count as being in a relationship? If not, what are we even doing?”

Xie Wuchi said, “I do not quite understand your phrasing.”

Clinging to what little sanity he had left, Shi Shu stammered, “It means… it means—”

Water droplets rolled down Xie Wuchi’s chest, vapor clinging to his eyelashes as he held Shi Shu’s gaze: “I respect your opinion.”

Shi Shu’s mind was in utter disarray. Lacking all experience, his planned sequence had been entirely shattered. His thoughts spun wildly: What on earth is happening right now?

Shi Shu felt that leaving things ambiguous like this wasn’t sustainable. He asked, “How about… we date?”

Xie Wuchi said, “Whatever you wish.”

Shi Shu blinked. “Hmm? But if we date…” If we date, climbing into his bed later will be entirely justified.

Having done so much together already, they were thoroughly stuck on this formal ritual, neither seeming to know how to navigate it. Did this title mean anything? Did it mean nothing at all?

One was straight, the other had open views on intimacy; the word “boyfriend” produced zero romantic chemistry.

Yet as two modern people, they had to consider the formalities.

Shi Shu asked, “So, we’re dating?”

Xie Wuchi said levelly, “Yes.”

“…………”

Shi Shu hadn’t expected him to agree so readily. Was he being entirely unromantic? Why had reaching this step felt so haphazard?