DSMIS CH31

Chapter 31: Hero, are you comparing your misery with mine?

While eating, Shen Xing was curious about Jiang Lin’s story, so he ate quickly. He didn’t stop until his lips were slightly swollen, then put down his chopsticks and sat up straight.

“Hero, I’m done.”

His meaning was obvious: he was ready, and the story could begin.

Jiang Lin was amused by his appearance, which resembled an elementary school student ready for class. He picked up a piece of thoroughly cooked white radish and spoke slowly:

“I can’t tell you the specific details of that mission. My injuries were primarily from falling and explosions. You should know this from looking at my medical records.”

Shen Xing nodded:

“Thirty-five pieces of shrapnel in your leg.”

“You actually counted them?”

“I watch videos very strictly.”

Jiang Lin nodded in agreement:

“I was still conscious when I was taken to the Armed Police General Hospital. At the time, my attending physician was Xu Cheng. Before the surgery, he told me that my left leg might not be saved. Honestly, my mind hadn’t even processed what had happened during the mission yet. Amputation was an outcome I absolutely could not accept. So, I told him that no matter what, I refused amputation. I signed the surgery risk consent form myself.”

After saying that, Jiang Lin chuckled:

“Aren’t you terrified of encountering a patient like me?”

Shen Xing opened his mouth but didn’t say anything. As an orthopedic surgeon, he naturally believed saving a life was paramount. Had he been in Xu Cheng’s shoes, he would have said the exact same thing to Jiang Lin.

But if he were Jiang Lin’s doctor now, he felt he could understand his feelings.

Jiang Lin didn’t seem to be waiting for his answer and continued:

“Old Man Xu has known my father for a long time. He did his best during the surgery, but he also said whether the leg could be saved depended on my recovery later. Plus, I needed more than one surgery. After the first one, I stayed in the ICU for five days. When I came out, my vitals weren’t very good. Old Man Xu advised my parents that if it came to the very end, they couldn’t just let me have my way.”

Shen Xing had read every page of Jiang Lin’s medical records more than once; even his vitals upon leaving the ICU were swirling in his mind at that moment.

“Did… did your parents try to persuade you?”

Jiang Lin seemed to be recalling the scene in the hospital room that day. He took a deep breath before speaking:

“My mom only tried to persuade me once before hugging me and crying. My dad didn’t say anything; he just stood behind her. It was the first time I saw his eyes red. I said I wanted one more surgery, and if it really didn’t work out, I’d accept the amputation.”

Shen Xing downed the remaining half glass of champagne, still feeling a lump in his throat.

“During that time, I had to rely on caregivers for eating, drinking, and using the bathroom. That was the first time I felt I had no control over my own life. It was the first time I felt fear. I completely couldn’t imagine how I’d live the rest of my life if I got amputated. Once, while looking out the window, I even thought that if I really had to be amputated, I might as well just jump right from there.”

Shen Xing’s eyes widened immediately, his voice rising sharply:

“You can’t have thoughts like that!”

Jiang Lin was startled by his reaction:

“It was just a fleeting thought at the time. I didn’t get amputated and I’m fine now, right?”

Shen Xing remembered his second year on the job. He had assisted his mentor in a double leg amputation surgery. Not long after the patient went home, he committed suicide due to depression. Shen Xing clearly wasn’t relaxed by Jiang Lin’s words; instead, he spoke even more urgently:

“Even with amputation, you can’t have thoughts like that. Prosthetic technology is excellent nowadays. You could stand up even after an amputation. You absolutely must not have suicidal thoughts, do you understand?”

Jiang Lin seemed to realize his words had frightened Shen Xing. He raised his hand, refilled Shen Xing’s champagne, and softened his voice:

“I don’t. It was just right after the injury, and I was having a hard time accepting it. I don’t feel that way now.”

Shen Xing just kept looking at him, his gaze like that of someone looking at a criminal suspect, full of distrust. Jiang Lin felt helpless:

“Doctor Shen, I really won’t. Even if I can’t keep this leg in the future, I definitely won’t go jumping off buildings.”

Hearing the latter half of his sentence, Shen Xing let out a soft hmph in his throat before saying:

“I am your attending physician now. Stop trying to ruin my reputation.”

“Yes, I will definitely follow the doctor’s orders.”

Shen Xing couldn’t resist asking again:

“And then what happened?”

“Then I held out until the second surgery. Luckily, the results were good. Xu Cheng said there was a high probability the leg could be saved. However, I don’t need to tell you that you probably know it too—it couldn’t be restored to how it was before. Not walking with a limp would already be a major hurdle overcome. So, during the rehabilitation period after I was discharged, I was extremely cooperative with the rehab doctors. Back then, I still harbored a bit of a fluke mentality: if I try harder, maybe it’ll get better; maybe I can even go back to my old job. But after I secretly trained behind the rehab doctors’ backs and almost had an accident, I understood that this wasn’t something where effort alone guarantees a result.”

It took him these past few months to gradually calm down and try to coexist with his current body, no longer pushing himself too hard.

“Later on, rehabilitation wouldn’t yield any significant improvements either. Xiaohu had practically been given all the awakening drugs, yet showed no signs of waking up. The doctors said from then on, he might just have to rely on himself. A vegetative patient waking up is already something that can’t be completely explained. Auntie Shulan wanted to take him home, but I was worried about them, so I applied to support the border region in Yunnan. I’ve calmed down a lot over these past few months. Thinking back, I really was quite extreme while in the hospital. I’m much better now. Everything passes eventually.”

Shen Xing recalled the time Jiang Lin took painkillers but lied to him, saying it was a migraine. Perhaps, even now, Jiang Lin hadn’t completely made peace with his body. However, he was definitely doing much better than he had been in the hospital. No matter how agonizing the pain and trauma, it would eventually pass, Shen Xing thought silently. Jiang Lin smiled:

“Alright, Doctor Shen, my story is finished. Do you feel a little better?”

Shen Xing looked up as if waking from a dream, finally remembering that he was the one who was feeling ’emo’ earlier, and this person had told him a story to comfort him. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry:

“Hero, are you comparing your misery with mine?”

Jiang Lin blinked, scooped up a spoonful of canned strawberries, and handed it to him:

“So, did it work?”

Shen Xing’s mind was now filled with the harrowing, near-death experiences of the man in front of him. Compared to that, his little bit of ’emo’ over doing fewer surgeries could simply be called being whiny. He took the spoon and ate the strawberries:

“You know what, Hero, comparing misery is probably the simplest and most efficient way to comfort someone in this world. Compared to you, my little issue isn’t even worth mentioning.”

Jiang Lin smiled, looking quite satisfied:

“Mm, as long as it worked. Want some more?”

The essence of a spicy hot pot is that it gets more flavorful the longer it boils. Shen Xing actually picked up his chopsticks again. The result was that he ate so much that night his stomach felt like it was going to explode.

After dinner, Jiang Lin went to wash the dishes. Feeling bad, Shen Xing followed him to help clean up. Jiang Lin blocked his hand:

“You don’t need to. I’ll wash them.”

“That doesn’t seem right. You prepared everything.”

“Preparing a few ingredients wasn’t any trouble. If you’re too full, just help me wipe the table.”

Shen Xing gave an “OK” gesture, found some kitchen wipes, and started cleaning the table. The sound of running water from washing dishes drifted from the kitchen. This atmosphere suddenly gave him an unfamiliar sense of warmth.

When he was little, his dad was never home. Later, his parents divorced, and his mom was busy with her business. He had started living in dorms at thirteen. Besides his times at his grandfather’s and maternal grandfather’s houses, he hadn’t experienced this kind of domestic feeling much.

He looked towards the kitchen and saw the person inside with his sleeves rolled up, head bowed as he washed the pot. His lean back arched slightly, forming a smooth, graceful line. Driven by some inexplicable impulse, Shen Xing leaned against the kitchen doorframe. Jiang Lin turned around:

“Finished wiping?”

“Ah, yes. How about I mop the floor for you too?”

Jiang Lin laughed:

“No need. Go sit for a while. Play fetch with Heibao and Qianjin.”

Shen Xing: “…”

In the living room, Shen Xing threw a ball, and both Qianjin and Heibao chased after it. Fetch was the Samoyed’s favorite game, and surprisingly, its reaction speed was quite fast. The ball was brought back, and Shen Xing threw it again. Sometimes Heibao could catch the ball mid-air, while the Samoyed happily trotted behind him. After a few throws, the white furball seemed to learn that the ball could be caught mid-air too. When Shen Xing threw the ball again, it leaped up and actually managed to catch it before Heibao did.

Jiang Lin finished washing the dishes and entered the living room just in time to see this. He casually offered a word of praise. Delighted, Shen Xing hugged the white furball, pinched its chubby face, and turned to Jiang Lin:

“Hero, if our Qianjin had been trained from a young age, do you think he could have become a police dog too?”

Jiang Lin looked at Shen Xing’s sparkling eyes, then at the Samoyed, round and wagging its tail. He had seen the Samoyed releasing goodwill toward random strangers; the dog probably couldn’t tell the difference between a drug dealer and a good person. He stood there silently for three seconds, which was enough time for Shen Xing to recognize reality:

“Alright, I know the answer.”

Jiang Lin smiled, went to grab two cups, brewed two cups of green tea, and brought them over:

“A colleague from Hubei gave me this tea last time, Enshi Yulu. Said it was pre-Qingming tea, though it’s been sitting around for over half a year. Try it. The hot pot was a bit too salty earlier, this will help cleanse the palate.”

Shen Xing looked up. Jiang Lin was wearing a deep beige loungewear set. Perhaps because he had just seen him washing dishes, Shen Xing felt that the man before him exuded an incredibly gentle, domestic aura, completely different from the sharp, uniform-clad Captain Jiang he had seen at the hospital, bearing two bars and two stars on his epaulets. If this were their first meeting, he would never have guessed in a million years that this man was an anti-narcotics cop—and one who had gone on such dangerous missions and sustained such severe injuries at that.

Jiang Lin felt a bit uneasy under his gaze:

“Is there something on my face?”

Shen Xing snapped back to reality, quickly shook his head, took the teacup, and was about to drink when Jiang Lin hastily stopped him:

“It’s hot.”

“Oh.”

Jiang Lin smiled and sat next to him. Heibao came over, and Jiang Lin rubbed his head while looking at the person beside him:

“Ate too much? You’re in a daze.”

Shen Xing sprawled out on the sofa like a pancake:

“All my blood has rushed to my digestive tract. My brain is lacking oxygen, so my IQ isn’t holding the high ground right now. By the way, don’t forget your rehab appointment tomorrow.”

Jiang Lin nodded:

“I remember. Are you holding outpatient clinic tomorrow?”

Shen Xing shook his head:

“No. I’m on duty the day after tomorrow, New Year’s Day, so they didn’t schedule me for clinic tomorrow. Oh, right, I’m taking this silly dog to get washed and groomed tomorrow. How does Heibao usually get washed? Should I take him along? New Year’s Day is a holiday after all, let’s get them clean too.”

Jiang Lin looked down at Heibao, then at the Samoyed. He had to admit, a German Shepherd’s coat was much better at hiding dirt, whereas the white Samoyed’s paws and belly were already looking a bit grey:

“I take him out to get washed too. What time are you going?”

“Morning, probably.”

“Alright, call me when you go. I’ll get him washed in the morning and then go to the hospital in the afternoon.”

The next day, Shen Xing took Qianjin directly to Jiang Lin’s car and navigated to a pet store. They thought they could get a wash right away, not expecting the pet store to be so busy on New Year’s Eve. Fortunately, the dogs ahead of them were all small, so the washing went relatively fast. When it was the Samoyed’s turn, Shen Xing nudged Jiang Lin’s arm:

“I’ll show you what ‘butchering a pig’ looks like in a second.”

Sure enough, it didn’t take long before the Samoyed started howling inside. Shen Xing patted Jiang Lin and brought him over to watch. They saw that the Samoyed’s fluffy fur had been flattened by the water pressure, revealing an exceedingly plump body, thrashing wildly under the groomer’s hands like a pig ready for the New Year feast. Jiang Lin didn’t know whether to laugh or cry:

“I thought it was just thick fur.”

“Ours is solid.”

After its bath and grooming, the Samoyed’s appearance leveled up. With a perfectly round head, bouncy ears, and a rump shaped like two peaches, it felt explosive to the touch. Shen Xing leaned over it, inhaling deeply again and again, then led it over to Jiang Lin:

“Here, let Uncle Jiang pet you.”

The Samoyed gave him face, lifting its front paws and lunging at Jiang Lin. Jiang Lin bent down and rubbed it, his hands lingering on its ears for a long time:

“It’s like a ball of cotton.”

In contrast, Heibao getting a bath was like watching a mob boss—his emotional stability was unparalleled. Upon leaving the pet store, Jiang Lin walked Heibao on a leash, while Shen Xing carried a single Samoyed in his arms. It couldn’t be helped; white dogs required this kind of treatment after a bath:

“I’ll accompany you to the hospital. I have nothing going on anyway, I’ll go read some medical literature.”

The following day, New Year’s Day, Shen Xing hitched a ride to work in Jiang Lin’s car again. Out of habit, they went to the rice noodle shop downstairs for breakfast. However, today, besides the owner, there was a young man in the shop, looking around twenty-four or twenty-five, helping with taking orders and payments. The owner also looked more cheerful than usual. Seeing them, he greeted them warmly and told the young man beside him to bring them two freshly fried crispy cakes.

“Try these, they’re new in the shop.”

“Scoring another freebie, thank you, Boss.”

Shen Xing spent the entire day on duty in the emergency room. Working the ER during holidays was never as easy as one might imagine. More people traveling meant an increased probability of accidents: falls, car collisions, stomach pumping for those who drank too much, and even people coming in for stitches after drunken brawls.

That day alone, Shen Xing sutured seven or eight patients, performed debridement on five or six, and treated two fracture cases. He wished he could split himself in half to cover the ER. At noon, he didn’t even have time to go across the street to the county bureau for lunch. It wasn’t until mid-afternoon that he managed to order some fried chicken to tide himself over, making him think for a moment that he was back at Yuetan Hospital. His phone buzzed; it was a message from Jiang Lin, asking if he needed him to bring over some dinner later:

“No need, Hero. I just had my lunch at three o’clock.”

After sending that, he added another message:

“Do you think God heard my emo rant the day before yesterday and decided to issue me a ‘donkey experience pass’ on the first day of the New Year, letting me truly experience the feeling of turning the millstone?”

He had just put his phone down after sending that message when another one came in. Thinking it was Jiang Lin’s reply, he looked down, only to discover it was surprisingly a message from his dad. His dad wasn’t the type to make small talk with him for no reason. With a cold expression, he turned off his phone screen, shoved it directly into his pocket, and got up to head to the debridement room.

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Author’s Note:

Captain Jiang will say anything to comfort Doctor Shen [Pity]