RSDH CH72

Remembering his grandfather also said he had talked to Cheng Duzhou, Duan Xingye felt complicated and nodded: “Alright.”

“Watched your variety show,” Kan Yu said. “Duzhou is very attentive to you.”

Duan Xingye was quiet for half a second and gave a mn.

The topic stopped again.

In the duplex building in front, amber lights shone from every window. Mixed voices rose and fell, making the garden appear dim and quiet.

The conversation between the two had an intermittent stiffness, as if it could stop at any moment.

Kan Yu silently smoked one-third of the cigarette. After exhaling, she licked the sweetness at the corner of her lips, then neurotically pulled a smile, asking in a relatively relaxed tone: “Have you been well these years?”

Duan Xingye leaned back against the bench, the swing swaying slightly.

“Overall good, but for someone like me, wanting life to move forward inevitably comes with moments of labor pains.” He didn’t delve too deeply into the topic, just asking, “And you?”

Kan Yu heard something, looking thoughtfully in the direction of the small building. After pursing the cigarette filter for a long while, she said, “Pretty good. Life there is very slow, and days are peaceful. The key is not having to deal with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships.”

The last sentence was a joke; saying it, she laughed herself.

Duan Xingye said, “Stay a bit longer this time. Grandpa is old, and I rarely have the chance to accompany him. He doesn’t say it, but he actually misses you very much.”

“Planning to stay until the end of the month this time.” Kan Yu asked, “How many days can you stay?”

Duan Xingye said, “Leaving tomorrow.”

Kan Yu stopped talking.

Duan Xingye glanced at the time on his phone and got up: “I still need to find someone; going in first.”

—”Xingxing.”

Duan Xingye turned back, only to see Kan Yu’s expression no longer relaxed as before. Her gaze was fixed on the grass ahead, her face especially pale in the dark night, the hand holding the cigarette trembling.

Looking at such a woman, Duan Xingye couldn’t help but wonder how much effort she had to exert to conceal her guilt and panic to come before him.

“I heard about him… will it affect you?” Kan Yu asked.

Who “he” referred to, both understood.

Duan Xingye turned around, his attitude calm from beginning to end: “Not in career, and certainly not emotionally.”

“That’s good.” Kan Yu nodded, lowering her head, her voice hoarse as she said, “We couldn’t give you anything, just caused you trouble… If I knew the ending in advance, I would have chosen to marry someone I didn’t love, even knowing I wouldn’t have you again… I don’t have the ability to be a good mother…”

Strands of hair falling down covered her face. Saying this, Kan Yu finally couldn’t hold back, pressing her eye sockets with her wrist, shoulders trembling.

Standing in place, Duan Xingye suddenly understood that part of her tears were shed for him, but more were for Duan Qiwei.

She still loved that man. Even though she had been hurt, hearing news of his accident brought no pleasure of relieved resentment, only thick sorrow.

When he was eight, on a rainy spring night, Duan Xingye was sleeping in Cheng Duzhou’s room on the first floor and heard a woman’s light laughter from the garden.

The bed was right against the window. He knelt up and lay on the windowsill.

In the drizzling rain curtain, his mother wore a starlight-colored long dress, barefoot on the grass, dancing a waltz with his father.

Ignoring the rain drenching them, they spun together. Duan Qiwei supported her lower back, Kan Yu leaning back, unable to suppress her laughter.

Duan Xingye’s chin rested on his arms, watching with pitch-black eyes.

When Kan Yu straightened up and fell onto Duan Qiwei’s shoulder, she saw Duan Xingye behind the window. She was stunned at first, then, lying on Duan Qiwei’s shoulder like that, she smiled and winked at Duan Xingye.

—Even after ten years of marriage, they were still as passionate as young boys and girls.

The Kan Yu of that time probably thought she held all happiness in her hands.

Later, the man detached soberly, while the woman loved too deeply.

A failed marriage left Kan Yu dejected and unable to recover. She abandoned all ties to her past life, not wanting anyone to remember her anymore, so she went to a strange country, burying herself alive in a grave in such a way.

Duan Xingye understood now. Even though Kan Yu started a new life, married and had children, her husband could never replace Duan Qiwei, and Bernardo couldn’t replace him.

She was forever trapped in the past, and what the past left her were endless regrets and pain.

She couldn’t even overcome her own life propositions, let alone know with what mood to come back and face him.

The cigarette butt had burned Kan Yu’s finger, but she didn’t let go, as if unable to feel the burning pain on her skin, sobbing to herself.

Duan Xingye looked up at the distant horizon and sighed deeply.

Perhaps their Kan family were all love seeds (sentimental). Either don’t love, or love to the point of branding the other person into their life.

Duan Qiwei was selfish, acting as if nothing happened, disregarding Duan Xingye’s feelings, allowing that mother and son to cause trouble, destroying Duan Xingye’s last warmth. Therefore, after Duan Qiwei’s accident, Duan Xingye could stay out of it, purely feeling indifferent.

Kan Yu was selfish, but also knew she had long abandoned her identity as a mother. Imprisoning herself for so many years, not only living as a tragedy but also torturing herself with guilt. Even so, she was reluctant to come out.

Because Duan Xingye understood her limited ability, he held sympathy for her.

Perhaps he also felt a trace of relaxation and rejoicing.

Kan Yu taught him through experience to be vigilant about intimate relationships, but he met Cheng Duzhou, someone who gave himself unreservedly 100% to him and soothed him with unparalleled security.

So what’s scary isn’t marriage, but holding the wrong person’s hand.

Aside from this, he had no other feelings for the woman. Their only connection in the future was only Grandpa and this duplex building; both knew this clearly.

Duan Xingye stood in place for a while longer, not responding to Kan Yu: “Leaving early tomorrow, won’t specifically look for you to say goodbye.”

He lowered his long lashes and said, “If nothing else, I’m going in first… Goodbye.”

Duan Xingye turned and walked toward the door.

Very calmly, he said goodbye to the person he once loved deeply, and to all the beautiful times they spent together.

…

Duan Xingye returned to the main hall, looking down to message Cheng Duzhou.

Seen: [Dog thing.]

Seen: [Where are you?]

Looking up, he saw the tallest person in the crowd.

Almost at the same moment, Cheng Duzhou also saw him.

Their gazes met.

Duan Xingye noticed Cheng Duzhou’s eyes seemed red, and he was visibly stunned when he saw him.

Just as Duan Xingye felt strange, complex emotions flashed through Cheng Duzhou’s pitch-black eyes, finally settling into softness. He pulled the corner of his lips and smiled at him.

Smiling foolishly at what?

The two looked at each other across the guests in the entire hall. But as Cheng Duzhou smiled, suddenly his brows moved, and he cried.

“!!!”

Duan Xingye’s heart skipped a beat. The first reaction flashing through his mind was: Is this bumpkin being bullied? What did his group of friends say again?

Cheng Duzhou was a star now, after all. Duan Xingye was afraid his unpromising appearance would be seen by surrounding guests, so he hurriedly walked through the crowd, grabbed Cheng Duzhou, and led him into the corridor, pushing open the first room door they passed and drilling in.

Duan Xingye turned back to ask him in detail: “Did you just with them…”

Cheng Duzhou came in, closed the door behind him, reached out a hand to cup Duan Xingye’s cheek, lowered his head, and leaned in to meet him.

“…………”

A wet and soft sensation probed into his lips, sucking him urgently yet gently.

Duan Xingye’s long eyelashes trembled, unable to speak for a moment.

The gathering didn’t see off guests one after another until ten o’clock.

Seeing Jiang Siqi and the group, Duan Xingye couldn’t muster the energy to ask them what they had talked about with Cheng Duzhou.

He wore a coat over his suit, standing at the door, secretly yawning.

Too tired, tomorrow then.

Since they had to get up early tomorrow, the couple slept in Cheng Duzhou’s room on the first floor at night.

Duan Xingye lay on the right side of the bed, feeling the familiarity of the surroundings. Amidst drowsiness, he couldn’t help but feel emotional, snorting: “When I slept here before, I didn’t know you harbored that kind of thought about me. Thinking about it now, really let you off cheap.”

Cheng Duzhou was lying on his side next to Duan Xingye, gazing unblinkingly at Duan Xingye’s exquisite and beautiful profile, recalling his somewhat milky face in his youth.

If he hadn’t cared so much about self-esteem and told Duan Xingye when that thought appeared, they wouldn’t have argued due to estrangement, saying things they didn’t mean, unable to see each other’s feelings clearly. Then Duan Xingye wouldn’t have had to save face and secretly stuff a paper note in his box—to be able to do this step, the Duan Xingye at that time must have needed him emotionally very much.

But he left at such a critical moment.

What would the seventeen-year-old Duan Xingye think?

Did he also feel that he, like Duan Qiwei and Kan Yu, didn’t want him anymore?

—”Cheng Duzhou, don’t go.”

No matter how many times he recalled the words on that paper, Cheng Duzhou felt his heart being shredded.

Duan Xingye was feeling smug about Cheng Duzhou’s secret love for him, but not receiving a response from the person beside him for a long time, he turned his head unhappily to look.

Only to see Cheng Duzhou gazing at him infatuatedly, eye rims red again, eyes holding a pool of tears.

“!” Duan Xingye’s drowsiness was scared away. He immediately propped himself up. “You’re very strange today; what exactly is wrong?”

Cheng Duzhou sniffled, seeming to feel embarrassed himself. He pulled the quilt up to cover his face, then put it down. The tears were gone, and he said in a low voice: “Nothing…”

“Cheng Duzhou, hurry up.” Duan Xingye frowned, losing patience. “Crying for what?”

Cheng Duzhou shook his head.

He didn’t want to make Duan Xingye remember sad things again.

Duan Xingye asked repeatedly but got no words, so he didn’t believe it. He turned over and fished for his phone.

Cheng Duzhou had only stayed alone with Jiang Siqi and the others for a while, and his emotions started to collapse. Those people had no filter on their mouths; who knows which sentence stimulated the bumpkin again.

Ignoring that it was late at night, Duan Xingye dialed and said, “If you won’t say, I’ll ask Jiang Siqi.”

“Don’t.” Cheng Duzhou grabbed his wrist and took the phone away.

Duan Xingye was irritable: “What do you want to do!”

Cheng Duzhou buried his face beside Duan Xingye, exuding an aura of infinite fragility, and said hoarsely: “Hug me tight.”

“…………”

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Author’s Note:

Teacher Duan: I’m really convinced (exasperated).