SGT CH40: A Chaotic Relationship

◎Two kinds of love, contradictory and separate, yet coexisting at the same time.◎

Even though the Prince called him “Big Brother Aix” and told him “Sisi missed you so much,” Aix still felt an unreal sense of a daze.

It was as if this was just a dream he was having.

A self-deceiving dream he had concocted after his spirit completely collapsed upon learning of the little male cub’s death, unwilling to accept reality.

But the Prince was right beside him, holding his arm, telling him they had to live well, to be together forever and ever.

His little male cub had grown up to be even more exquisitely beautiful, so outstanding it was breathtaking.

If this was a dream, a hallucination produced after his mind had broken down, Aix was willing to immerse himself in it and never wake up.

·

Returning once again to the room he had lived in for several months, Aix’s state of mind was completely different from before.

This was not just a place the Prince had casually placed him in; it was the room where his Sisi had once lived.

Aix didn’t know what reason had made the Prince give up so many spacious and bright rooms in the Prince’s mansion to choose this small residence located underground.

But from the room’s layout, which imitated the underground safe house in the Dark Star Field, and the half-empty desk and wardrobe, he could sense the Prince’s inability to let go of the past.

He wasn’t the only one who couldn’t forget those years.

He wasn’t the only one whose obsession had turned into a demon.

Aix opened the closet door, for the first time taking the initiative to touch the items left by the room’s master.

Every book, every piece of clothing, every doll… all held traces of the little male cub’s former life.

Aix’s eyes grew hot.

He had lived here for three months, yet only today did he find out that the male Zerg cub who had once lived here was the very little male cub he had been searching for everywhere.

The Prince who accompanied him day and night was the Sisi he had longed for.

Aix picked up a cub’s storybook.

The little male cub didn’t have the habit of tidying his own room, and the Prince never let other Zerg enter this room. The only one responsible for tidying up was a mechanical Zerg.

A mechanical Zerg could clean the room very well and put things away neatly, but it wouldn’t consider the master’s usage habits.

It placed “Cub’s Stories” together with “Practical Knowledge of Mecha Combat,” and plush toys with plush pajamas.

Aix re-categorized and organized the items in the room.

While doing so, it was as if he also got a glimpse of the little male cub’s past from these items.

Mousse went all out with his mental power, finishing his online work at the fastest speed possible, and returned to the room to see Aix.

He saw Aix organizing his old clothes and toys.

He had long outgrown those clothes and was past the age of playing with cub’s toys.

The only reason he hadn’t gotten rid of them was that they carried his most difficult memories.

If he threw them away, he would feel reluctant.

Mousse tilted his head and ducked under Aix’s raised arm, appearing in front of him and blocking the half-closet of cub’s clothes with his body. He smiled and said:

“Instead of organizing my old clothes and toys, why don’t you look at me more?”

Aix was dazed by the male Zerg’s smiling face.

Even when he had misunderstood the Prince and harbored hatred for him, he could not resist the Prince’s beauty.

Now that he knew the truth and saw him through the filter of his little male cub, he was even more unable to resist.

A female Zerg will always have a deep filter for the cub they have raised.

Even if the Prince was just spacing out or breathing, Aix would find him very cute.

Not to mention when he was smiling at him.

“Sisi…”

Aix was in a daze, subconsciously calling out, but immediately corrected himself upon realizing it: “Your Highness.”

He lowered his eyes, his expression becoming utterly respectful.

If not for the gentleness and warmth in his half-lowered eyes, which the female Zerg himself hadn’t noticed, Mousse would have thought the Aix in front of him was the Lieutenant General Aix who didn’t love him at all and didn’t know his identity.

“You’re not close to me at all…”

Mousse tugged at the corner of Aix’s clothes, wrapping the fabric around his finger, and looked up to ask:

“Does the current me make you feel distant?”

The Prince’s changes were indeed great.

But as long as he knew this was his little male cub, Aix wouldn’t feel any sense of distance. On the contrary, he instinctively wanted to get close to him.

It was just that he was trying hard to restrain this instinct.

“Your Highness has become very outstanding, better than the best version I could have imagined.”

Aix looked seriously at the Prince before him.

The orange light cast a warm hue under his eyes, softening his features.

In his green eyes, there was both pride and deep affection.

Being watched with such a gaze, Mousse was a little stunned.

He forgot the grievance of being neglected, took the initiative to wrap his arms around Aix’s waist, and pressed his body close, so close they could feel each other’s heartbeats.

“But you never recognized me…”

Mousse still cared a lot about this.

How could Aix not recognize him?

It felt like being ignored and forgotten by the Zerg you care about.

This feeling was not good.

It made him very sad.

Aix also selectively forgot how much the Prince had changed and was filled with self-blame.

“It’s my fault.”

How could he not recognize his little male cub? How could he even hurt his little male cub?

Aix was both guilty and regretful.

What had happened had happened. There was no point in dwelling on the past.

What mattered more was the present and the future.

“You have to remember me firmly and never forget me again.”

Mousse raised his hands, cupping Aix’s face, forcing him to look only at him.

“You have to remember my appearance, remember my warmth…” Mousse leaned in and kissed Aix on the lips.

Maintaining the distance of their lips brushing, he continued:

“Remember my breath, remember my heartbeat, remember my pheromones…”

Everything about the Prince was dazzling to Aix.

He couldn’t remember anything except where the Prince was touching him.

Sweet pheromones surrounded him, capturing him.

It wasn’t until he was pushed onto the sofa and possessed from the front that Aix suddenly came to his senses, raising a hand in panic to press on the male Zerg’s shoulder.

“Sisi!”

Even the name of the little male cub from his memory was called out, which was enough to show his panic.

Mousse could feel his panic, but the hand on his shoulder had no strength at all and didn’t seem to be resisting much.

So, he boldly went deeper.

“No! Sisi, we, we can’t!”

Aix was still struggling to retreat.

It was just that he didn’t dare to hurt his beloved little male cub, not even willing to give a gentle push.

Trapped on the sofa, the range of his struggle was pitifully small.

Other than letting himself sink deeper and deeper, with no more room to retreat, his struggles were completely ineffective.

“Why not?”

Mousse tilted his head in confusion. “Don’t you like me? Or does the Zerg egg not need my pheromones?”

Hearing the Prince mention the “Zerg egg,” Aix froze completely.

Mousse could actually understand a little of Aix’s struggle, but not much.

Back in the Dark Star Field, they had supported and accompanied each other, treating each other as the closest and most trusted family Zerg.

Whether it was him or Aix, their feelings for each other were the purest form of familial love.

Even when he hated Aix the most, it was the hatred of being abandoned by a trusted family Zerg.

If not for the strange twist of fate on the night of his physiological awakening, this might never have changed.

On the night of his physiological awakening, Mousse had been a little awkward at first.

But at that time, he was hating Aix. The family Zerg sentiment was not that strong, and the thought of revenge was stronger.

Plus, Aix’s pheromones were indeed very comfortable, and Aix’s body was very warm. When he was held, it gave him the illusion of being protected.

Mousse quickly came to terms with it. He threw that insignificant bit of awkwardness to the back of his mind and immersed himself fully in his physiological awakening.

Aix obviously wasn’t as open-minded as he was.

Of course, Mousse could give him time to slowly adjust.

But they had already missed more than ten years. Every minute and every second they were together now was very precious.

Mousse didn’t want Aix to repeatedly get tangled up in problems that weren’t problems at all, torturing himself and neglecting him.

The fastest way was to physically make Aix accept it, to help him desensitize.

He had even managed to hold back from calling him “Big Brother Aix” at this moment.

He was so considerate.

When Aix woke up from the chaos, his entire being was in a daze.

He was covered in the Prince’s pheromones, his abdomen was warm, and his whole body was comfortable. Even his mental domain felt a long-lost sense of ease. This was the sign of a female Zerg being fully nourished.

Ever since he came out of the punishment chamber, the Prince had never cut off his supply of pheromones. No matter how much he tormented him, he would always give him pheromones in the end.

Logically speaking, Aix was already very familiar with this state.

But, being put in this state by the Prince, by his own Male Master…

And being put in this state by the little male cub from his memory…

In Aix’s heart, these were two completely different things.

He could accept the former.

The latter… made him lose his ability to think.

Mousse was resting his head on Aix’s chest. When the female Zerg woke up, his spirit sensed it, and he also woke up.

He moved his head and opened his somewhat hazy eyes. Looking up, he saw Aix’s dazed look and asked:

“Do you want me to ask for leave for you?”

“No, I can go.”

Although he really wanted to spend time with his recovered little male cub, and his body in the middle and late stages of pregnancy was particularly attached to the Prince as his Male Master, Aix still felt that he needed some space to sort out his thoughts.

“Okay, remember to come back and have dinner with me,” Mousse instructed.

It would have been better not to mention it. As soon as dinner was mentioned, Aix once again remembered what the Prince had done to him with his foot under the table during the previous meal.

His brain, which hadn’t calmed down yet, started to burn again.

Even so, Aix still answered seriously: “I will.”

Aix got up and went to the military headquarters.

Mousse continued to doze off for a while. In his drowsiness, he felt he had forgotten something.

But what was it?

He couldn’t remember.

It probably wasn’t anything very important.

Mousse thought for a while with his sleepy mental power. When he couldn’t come up with an answer, he threw it to the back of his mind and continued to sleep.

·

In the office at the military headquarters.

Aix sat at his desk handling military affairs. The friction between the ornament on his chest and his clothes made him a little uncomfortable.

He wanted to raise his hand to press it, but his overly serious and rule-abiding nature prevented him from making such a gesture in the military headquarters office.

He could only endure it secretly.

Fortunately, it was just an ornament. If it had been something else, he definitely wouldn’t be as relaxed as he was now.

His Sisi, such an innocent and cute little male cub when he was little.

How did he become… so capable of tormenting a Zerg after growing up?

Aix sighed softly in his heart.

When he had misunderstood the Prince, Aix couldn’t get angry at the Prince’s torment.

Now, it was even more impossible for him to be angry.

The feeling now was more akin to discovering that the little male cub he had raised had developed a little special hobby.

Although he couldn’t quite understand it, because it was his little male cub, whatever he did was cute, so he would try to accept it.

These hobbies were all very easy to accept.

Even the Prince’s slightly malicious nature was very easy to accept.

Anyway, no matter how malicious he was, Aix would still find him cute.

What was truly difficult to accept was their chaotic relationship.

Aix undoubtedly loved the Prince deeply. It was the love of a female Zerg for a male Zerg, submitting to his beloved male Zerg from body to soul.

He also undoubtedly loved the little male cub deeply. It was the love of an elder for a cub.

These two kinds of love were contradictory and separate, yet they coexisted at the same time.

His terminal lit up. It was a message from the Marshal.

Remembering his conversation with the Marshal back then, Aix was embarrassed and ashamed beyond words.

The little male cub was the Prince, and the Marshal was the Prince’s biological female father.

And he had repeatedly stated in front of the Marshal that the little male cub was his cub…

No wonder the Marshal’s attitude was so strange at the time.

Aix held his head in shame, realizing he had done too many embarrassing things.

Fortunately, he was the only Zerg in the office now. No Zerg could see his窘態 (jiǒngtài) “predicament”.

The Marshal didn’t mention what happened that day either, mainly asking about the situation of the Prince’s second mental awakening.

Aix answered one by one.

The Marshal read it and sighed:

“The Prince was born into nobility, yet he has suffered many hardships. All three of his awakenings were not smooth. It is only through extremely strong perseverance that he has been able to achieve what he has today.”

He was attacked during his first awakening and was stranded in the Dark Star Field.

He suffered a shock during his second awakening, and the awakening failed.

His third awakening, which was his physiological awakening, left him severely injured.

Perhaps love is often feeling indebted.

The Marshal felt he owed his eldest son a great deal.

It was because he had not fulfilled his duty as a female father that his eldest son had experienced so many hardships.

“The Prince has already grown into an adult Zerg. As his female father, I cannot always be by his side. You are his female consort, the Zerg who will stay with him for life. Please take good care of him,” the Marshal instructed.

At this moment, Aix’s heart was in sync with the Marshal’s.

The Marshal felt he owed his eldest son.

Aix, who saw the Prince as both a cherished male cub and a deeply loved Male Master, and who had also personally harmed the Prince, would only feel even more indebted.

“I will protect the Prince with my life.”

His little male cub had suffered so many hardships because of him. Even sacrificing his own life would not be enough to repay him.

After talking about private matters, the Marshal moved on to official business.

The Double Moon Festival was approaching, and many tourists would be entering White Night Star.

The Marshal reminded Aix to strengthen White Night Star’s defenses and protect the Prince well.

Aix solemnly agreed.

Seeing the words “Double Moon Festival,” he was actually a little surprised.

How come even the moon has a festival?

Back when he was in the Dark Star Field, he had never heard of any Double Moon Festival.

Where did this festival come from?

In the Prince’s mansion, Mousse sneezed.

He rubbed his nose, suspecting that some Zerg was talking about him behind his back.

But as a particularly popular male Zerg, there were too many Zerg talking about him.

Mousse didn’t pay this little interlude any mind and continued to plan his Double Moon Festival fireworks gala.

Zerg bathed in the light of the double moons would receive the blessings of the double moons and be together forever.

At that time, if there was also a splendid firework display, it would be even more beautiful.

He and Aix would surely receive double the blessings.

Before the fireworks gala was fully planned, Mousse received a summons from his male father Emperor.

The Zerg Emperor: “Are you busy? Looking at your recent workload, you can’t be that busy. Come to the palace today.”

Mousse: “…”

He had a bad feeling.

Every time this premonition appeared, it was when his male father Emperor was about to increase his workload.

“My female consort is about to give birth! I’m very busy!”

Mousse protested vigorously.

The Zerg Emperor was puzzled.

What does the Prince’s female consort giving birth have to do with the Prince?

“It’s not you who’s giving birth. It won’t delay you.”

Mousse: “…”

Impossible to communicate with a workaholic.

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