UCTOOT CH79

Shi Shu didn’t even scream. Instead, the few people outside the door were terrified, almost instantly retreating and kneeling on the ground: “This subordinate deserves death!” “This general deserves death!”

Shi Shu didn’t want to live anymore.

His life would end here.

Shi Shu looked for a building to jump from, standing by the window and grabbing the railing to climb over. At this point, he was completely sober, as if it had all been a dream. First, he couldn’t figure out why he had suddenly kissed him—were his lips that close to Xie Wuchi’s? Second, why did these people come in…

—Don’t you know to knock before entering a leader’s room?…

Shi Shu scratched his head in frustration, the last bit of confusion gone. Before Xie Wuchi could speak, the few people hurriedly retreated. Xie Wuchi finished wrapping the gauze, and after regaining his senses, stood up from his chair: “Don’t worry, I’ll handle it.”

Why don’t you just handle me instead!

Shi Shu forcibly held back a howl, carefully looked at the building—it was still too high—and ran toward the door.

“Shi Shu…”

Shi Shu ignored the voice behind him, covered his face with his sleeve, and rushed out regardless of life or death. Outside, several guards and Song Sinan all had their heads buried. When he rushed downstairs, blood rushed to his head, his ears filled with joyful cheers and strange laughter, nearly driving him schizophrenic!

For the first time, Shi Shu experienced the feeling of mental confusion. His emotions had been too intense just now, plus his lips had been only a step away from Xie Wuchi’s—just lifting his chin to kiss—and he had actually, in a moment of impulse, kissed him.

Gay men! I swear eternal enmity with you!

How dare you trick me!

Shi Shu squatted by the fire, holding his head in heavy contemplation. The memories just now flooded his mind—him and Xie Wuchi intimately kissing in a hidden space. This feeling was truly… He could even remember Xie Wuchi’s hypothermic lips gradually warming, the awkwardness gradually turning into an enjoyable slickness, with love and desire rippling within.

Can’t drink anymore, god of wine,堕落、无节制的性!

Shi Shu stared blankly at the fire, continuously muttering “It’s over, it’s over, it’s over” in his mouth. Du Zihan, however, approached: “Little Shu, something big happened. I just saw Song Sinan receive military news and lead people upstairs in a hurry. I heard there’s fighting somewhere.”

Shi Shu: “What?”

“No wonder…” They even barged into Xie Wuchi’s room.

Du Zihan asked suspiciously: “Why is your face like that? Didn’t you go upstairs to find Brother Xie? Why do you look like he tried to force himself on you and failed?”

Shi Shu: “It’s not that he tried to force himself on me and failed!”

People saw me kissing my brother! Du Zihan, do you understand!

Terrifying!

Shi Shu recalled the details, wondering if there was any way to salvage the situation. But at that time, Xie Wuchi was sitting on the couch, and he had unknowingly long since sat on his lap. The scene at that moment was precisely Shi Shu cupping his face, their lips and tongues intertwined, and that position happened to face the door directly. As soon as someone entered, they could see the two kissing inseparably, cheek to cheek.

Shi Shu: “Zihan, am I anemic? Why do I feel dizzy?”

“…………” Du Zihan said, “Damn, Little Shu, what the hell happened to you!”

Shi Shu held his head again and let out a howl: “No, Zihan, I’m going to die! This time I’m really going to die!”

Although Du Zihan didn’t know what had happened, he hurriedly comforted him.

The two huddled together by the fire. After a moment, in the not far distance among the crowd, Xie Wuchi walked down from the wooden building. Several glass-cut bone lanterns cast his figure as tall and straight, his shadow swaying. Song Sinan, Xin Bin, and the guards were following behind him with their heads hanging.

When Xie Wuchi reached downstairs, he looked left and right, his gaze distant and indifferent, spotting Shi Shu and Du Zihan by the fire. Du Zihan was just looked at by him, scared so much that his back felt cold and his internal organs burned. He also immediately held his head, burying it like Shi Shu: “It’s over, it’s over, Xie Wuchi saw us! This time we’re really going to die!”

“…”

Shi Shu turned his head to look. Xie Wuchi stood by the fence, with someone beside him holding several lighting lanterns. He met eyes with Shi Shu, whose heart thumped again. The heart that had just calmed for a second felt as if being cut by a thousand knives, his whole body numb. He immediately averted his gaze.

Family.

Kissed Xie Wuchi again. But this time the situation was complicated—it was actually himself who, while bandaging him and seeing his self-harm, angrily outputted, and happened to have Xie Wuchi’s lips right before his eyes, so he lifted his head and kissed him.

What to do?

Can’t explain it anymore!!! He had actively kissed a man himself!

Shi Shu squatted before the bonfire, questioning life. While his mind was in chaos and at a loss, almost in an instant, a flash of inspiration came, and another thought emerged. Wasn’t he just planning to climb into his bed? Hadn’t the first step begun? If he was going to climb into his bed, this was also one of the steps, right?

Forget it, stop thinking. Everything is fate.

Shi Shu finally adjusted his mindset and revealed his hidden face. Looking up, he saw Song Sinan walking over with a thoughtful expression. Shi Shu was so scared he let out a loud cry: “Ah!”

Song Sinan’s expression was strange: “Just now…”

Shi Shu blurted out: “Misunderstanding! A huge misunderstanding! Great Qingtian Lord!”

Song Sinan’s eyes moved: “Don’t be nervous. The lord has said that you were treating the wound on his face for him, and ordered us not to spread it. But—”

Song Sinan had obviously suffered no less shock than Shi Shu. Several guards claimed they saw nothing, and he only caught a fleeting glimpse. Sometimes when many mouths speak, even gold can be melted. He also began to doubt if he saw wrong, but it was really hard to convince himself.

Song Sinan frowned deeply: “You and your brother—”

Shi Shu guessed in his heart that Xie Wuchi had given a strict order, and Song Sinan would never spread this matter. But Shi Shu still considered him a friend, so he racked his brains to think of a way to deal with it. After a moment, Shi Shu stammered: “Actually… this is the reason why I left my brother and didn’t come back for more than a year.”

Du Zihan: “?”

Song Sinan was indeed surprised: “What?”

Shi Shu closed his eyes. Fortunately, it was dark at night and his flushed ears couldn’t be seen: “I have sleepwalking disorder.”

Du Zihan: “???”

Song Sinan: “Sleepwalking disorder?”

Shi Shu said dryly: “Didn’t I tell you before? I do abnormal things uncontrollably in my dreams, like killing pigs and chickens. You know, I lost my parents when I was young, and my brother raised me.”

“When I was little, I fell from a mountain and was frightened. Since then, I often have nightmares at night. When I have nightmares, I can’t control myself and do messy things. Just now you also saw—I got drunk, went upstairs to find my brother, fell asleep, and then…”

As Shi Shu spoke, he pinched his palm with his nails, showing Song Sinan an expression of “Please believe me!”

Song Sinan: “So that’s how it is. I was wondering… how could brothers…”

Seeing that he believed it, Shi Shu hurriedly breathed a sigh of relief: “My brother has always been very tolerant of me. He doesn’t dare to wake me up easily, afraid I might have a seizure.”

Song Sinan was convinced: “You’re quite pitiful.”

Shi Shu wiped the sweat from his forehead.

Song Sinan: “Your brother has never married. Could it also be to take care of your illness?”

“………………” What does that have to do with me?

Shi Shu hemmed and hawed, barely nodding. Song Sinan finally said: “You scared me to death!”

Shi Shu silently recited in his heart: “Sorry for deceiving you, but it’s for our friendship.”

Then Shi Shu quickly changed the subject to ask about the main matter: “Why did you come so urgently just now? What happened?”

Song Sinan shook his head gloomily: “Isn’t it because after the war started last year, it kept fighting until winter when grain became scarce? So we rested for this half year. Now the weather is warming, and the Min dogs can’t hold back and have started border provocations again. This time, it’s Northern Min’s ‘Five Great Kings’之一的 King Moyu, claiming a hundred thousand troops to capture the Tea River ferry, attacking Feng Chongshan’s stationed Yunzhou from the direction of Yong’an Prefecture. We just received military news, ordering the Commander-in-Chief to return to the official residence for discussion!”

“Yunzhou?” At the not far curfew call, Shi Shu pulled a stick from the bonfire, “I remember it’s in Taiyin Prefecture?”

Song Sinan also helped extinguish the fire: “Right, Yunzhou isn’t a big city, and the personnel inside are limited, but it has always been the stationed place for many soldiers. Do you know why?”

Shi Shu: “Tell me.”

“Yunzhou controls the northwest and central parts of Great Jing’s border defense line, easy to defend and hard to attack. On both sides are East Tu Mountain and Huitian Dang, occupying natural barriers. One man guards the pass, ten thousand cannot open it. To ride south from the frontier, one must pass through Yunzhou’s checkpoint.”

Shi Shu raised his head: “So it’s a military stronghold with important geographical significance?”

“Exactly,” Song Sinan became eloquent when talking about these, “If Yunzhou falls, Northern Min’s iron hooves will be unblocked, and they can lead tens of thousands of cavalry straight down, charging into Great Jing’s second defense line—Zhongyuan Prefecture and Xingu Prefecture. If they break through here too, breaking into the Eastern Capital will be within ten days.”

By then, the rivers and mountains would change hands, the country would fall.

Shi Shu nodded in understanding: “No wonder you were so anxious. This matter is indeed major.”

Song Sinan looked deeply disgusted: “I don’t even want to talk about it.”

Shi Shu: “Is there something fishy?”

Song Sinan said disdainfully: “Why attack Yunzhou? Isn’t it because Feng Chongshan advocates peace, while the court heavily uses war generals? The Min dogs also know he’s unconvinced in his heart, a weak point, so they picked him to fight, right? Anyway, I don’t have much confidence. These traitors, it’s fine if he dies, but it’s a pity so many soldiers are killed.”

Shi Shu’s mood rippled, asking: “If the main general is incompetent, will the soldiers’ morale also collapse?”

Song Sinan said: “Of course, a general with army morale should have a heart of steel, hard and strong, handling matters with thunderous force. Even sharp knives and fierce fire won’t make him yield half a step.”

Shi Shu listened and remembered it in his heart.

Song Sinan sighed: “It’s just us who suffer. Military affairs affect the whole body. If Yunzhou falls, the western and northern armies will lose connection and cannot watch out for each other. So our northern army also has to be on guard and ready to support him at any time. I’m afraid we’ll be busy for a while.”

The military sounded the night watch, urging everyone to rest. Shi Shu said: “Then I’ll go back first. We’ll talk another day.”

Song Sinan: “Okay, go. Today, the surrendered refugee volunteer army brought many refugee commoners. These days we’ll also take the commoners to the farming colony for resettlement. If you’re willing to come, come early!”

Shi Shu: “Got it! I’ll come early.”

Before leaving, Shi Shu greeted Du Zihan, who hesitated to speak: “Huh? Leaving? What gossip do you two have that you won’t share with me?” This made Shi Shu have to stop and recount what happened in the building again, accepting Du Zihan’s gaze before finally setting off on the return journey.

The moonlight was淡泊 like ice cubes. Shi Shu stepped on swaying shadows, occasionally breaking off a branch and waving it in his palm, the leaves rustling.

He thought about the war at Yunzhou, but it was thousands of li away, hard to imagine the specific scene.

Thus, Shi Shu couldn’t help but start recalling that kiss in the wooden fort.

Things he couldn’t figure out in this lifetime increased. He was truly made dizzy by gay men. How did he lean in?

The scars on Xie Wuchi’s wrist—he’s really a psychologically unhealthy person. Psychologically unhealthy means dangerous, full of aggression, self-trauma constantly destroying them, hearts constantly playing games, self-destructing in pain every day.

He just cut his wrist bloody, then hurriedly left without treating the wound, participating in discussions about this war. Does he never take care of his own injuries?

Shi Shu’s mind wandered. The guard asked: “Second Young Master, are you returning to the central military camp or the grand residence in Yanzhou city?”

Shi Shu: “What’s the difference? Where did my brother go?”

The guard said: “The lord usually lives in the military camp most of the time, convenient for inspecting and drilling the army. But the official residence is in the city, and he must return to the city to discuss with other lords.”

Another guard said: “The pacification envoy, military supervisor, and other lords all live in the city. When discussing with the lords, he must return to the official residence. For example, today, he went to the city.”

Shi Shu thought in his heart and understood: Life in the military camp is rough and simple. People want to enjoy comforts, so they definitely live better in the city with good houses, beauties, and delicacies. Those military supervisors and such probably all live in the city. And Xie Wuchi, this career-driven workaholic, often lives in the main camp eating with the soldiers, not only winning army morale but also satisfying his control desire, training a more elite division.

Shi Shu walked on the small path under the moonlight, thinking he hadn’t stayed in Xie Wuchi’s Yanzhou residence before, and said: “Then I’ll also go to the city.”

Shi Shu hadn’t figured out how to face Xie Wuchi, but it seemed there was nothing to fear. Go see him. In the wooden fort, words were left unsaid, and there should be much that hasn’t been finished.

He mounted his horse and whipped it to gallop wildly, passing through dense forests to the city gate. The military stronghold closed the city gate at night. After announcing “Commander-in-Chief’s guard!” they entered through a small gate, and Shi Shu returned to this city.

Xie Wuchi’s residence.

Xie Wuchi was a person of taste, also a young master raised in luxury in a manor mansion in modern times. This residence was luxurious and extravagant. At night, the double eaves and flying corners, the courtyard with pavilions, towers, and strange rocks. When Shi Shu entered, many people immediately called “Second Young Master!” “Second Young Master is here!” “Quick, quick!” and came up to help him change clothes.

Shi Shu wasn’t used to it. He asked where Xie Wuchi slept and walked in himself.

It was almost midnight. Dim candlelight was lit in the room. The interior was deep and spacious. Behind the main hall was an elegant study. Antique shelves held antiques, brushes, ink, paper, and inkstones. Walking into a side room, the flower windows were bright and clean. Further inside was the bedroom.

After arriving, Shi Shu washed up, declined other services, couldn’t find suitable clothes, so he opened the cabinet and picked one of Xie Wuchi’s inner robes to wear first. The room’s lighting was dim. This was the second time coming to Xie Wuchi’s solitary residence, but the feeling was completely different from the night escape at Xiangnan Temple two years ago.

Shi Shu had just walked around these few rooms when the steward hesitated for a moment and said: “Second Young Master, the lord doesn’t like us servants casually fiddling with his things, Second Young Master…”

Shi Shu: “Oh, I understand. You go rest.”

Shi Shu didn’t wander anymore. Xie Wuchi now held a high position, with secrets everywhere. It would indeed be bad to stumble upon them. Thinking of this, he returned to the bedroom. He happened to be somewhat sleepy, and as soon as he touched the bed, he fell asleep.

He didn’t know how much time passed when Shi Shu heard light footsteps. He propped himself up on his elbow from the quilt. Outside the door happened to be the sound of low conversation.

“My lord, would you like more hot tea? Hot water is kept in the pot.”

The answering voice was very light.

“As usual? This servant will bring the hot water right away.”

Xie Wuchi said: “No, the noise is too loud. Change the location.”

The footsteps disappeared. Shi Shu sat up to wait, not knowing how long he waited. The sound of suppressed footsteps returned outside the door, the sound of jade pendants clinking at his waist, clear and pleasant. But the sound disappeared in the central hall, seeming to have been taken off.

Then, the footsteps reached the bedroom.

To save lamp oil, Shi Shu blew out the candle. The room was pitch black. Slowly, the sound of a flint striker rang, a dim light illuminating a small area, also illuminating the visitor’s noble and indifferent brows and eyes, pitch-black eyes, a dark shadow under the nose bridge.

Shi Shu sat in place without making a sound. Others thought he was asleep, but when the light was lit, they saw someone sitting there, which could be said to be a bit scary.

Xie Wuchi paused and said: “You’re not asleep.”

He had changed into clean and tidy inner robes, his wrist wrapped in new snow-white gauze. Holding the lamp, he walked to the bedside, lit the extinguished lamp oil. An expensive and heavy sandalwood bed, carved with intricate and beautiful patterns. Xie Wuchi stood on the footstool, lowered his head to extinguish the other oil lamp, and placed it on the dressing table.

Shi Shu: “I just slept for a while, heard the noise outside the door and woke up, so I didn’t continue sleeping.”

Xie Wuchi: “Did I disturb you?”

“No.”

The current Xie Wuchi had a light and quiet feeling, no longer talking dirty. It was hard to imagine that not long ago, the two of them in the wooden fort were embracing each other intimately, lips and tongues entangled. Shi Shu’s heart skipped a beat at this thought, and he asked: “Have you finished discussing your matters?”

“Matters are endless to discuss. Handled the urgent ones, will continue tomorrow. I heard them say you entered the city.”

“Oh…”

Shi Shu didn’t know what to say for a moment. Thinking of this, he said: “Give me your hand to see. Your original gauze wasn’t very clean. The wound needs to be re-treated. Did you handle it?”

Xie Wuchi extended his wrist and said: “The wound has been re-treated.”

Shi Shu didn’t know what to say for a moment, considering whether to apologize to him. After all, he was the one who kissed him first. But! The more he thought about it, the more ashamed and angry he became. How had Xie Wuchi treated him before? A kiss is just a kiss, why apologize, is there any justice?

But not apologizing wouldn’t that make him Xie Wuchi?

Shi Shu couldn’t think deeply about this matter. The more he thought, the more his logic couldn’t be consistent, his emotions would knot up, become a tangled mess, and entangle him again.

Maybe it’s better to play dead.

Playing dead—the path to life’s happiness, can escape everything.

Shi Shu thought for a long time, his ears red, before finding a topic: “Don’t hurt yourself like this in the future. It’s not a big deal. I didn’t feel that bad when I left. Your own happiness is more important.” Actually, he did feel a bit bad.

Xie Wuchi sat by the bed, not knowing what he was thinking, seeming lost in thought. Hearing Shi Shu’s words, he also appeared distracted.

After a moment, he said: “Okay.”

“?”

Why are you speaking one word at a time?

Shi Shu: “Really okay or fake okay? I’ll check your wound every day from now on. Better not have new wounds, or I’ll have no way to deal with you.”

Xie Wuchi opened his lips.

At this moment, the steward walked in from outside: “My lord.”

There was clearly some implication in his words. Xie Wuchi’s voice was very cold when speaking to outsiders: “Go down. Having a meal now, not seeing anyone.”

Shi Shu picked out the pork liver in his porridge to eat first: “Don’t mind me. The first time I came to find you, I knew you received guests during meal intervals. You do your business, I won’t affect you.”

Xie Wuchi lowered his head, not knowing what he was thinking. After a moment, he said lightly: “Having a meal with you, so I won’t see them.”

Hearing this sentence, Shi Shu slowed down his eating speed, feeling warm inside. After eating, Shi Shu was about to return to the Chou Army camp to go with Song Sinan and the others to send refugees to the farming colony and teach the commoners farming methods.

After Shi Shu was full, he entered to change clothes. Only then did Xie Wuchi start receiving guests. Early in the morning, some came to offer suggestions on military governance, some proposed ideas on farming colony water conservancy. Xie Wuchi had long raised a group of staff talents to provide suggestions and polish documents for him.

Shi Shu stood at the door and saw several refined middle-aged men enter, excitedly holding up letters: “Lord Xie, this humble one has a ‘Ten Thousand Word Memorial,’ detailing the good and bad fortune of establishing a foothold in Changping Prefecture. Please examine it!”

Others said: “My lord, I want to impeach the county magistrate of Dongyang County for preying on the common people!”

Xie Wuchi’s attitude toward his staff was gentel. These clever people serving him were a good thing, not to be taken for granted.

After these few people left, Xu Siliang came. Xie Wuchi was drinking tea. Seeing him run in sweating profusely, he casually poured a bowl of new tea and handed it to him.

“Advisor Xu, sit.”

Shi Shu stopped his steps in the side room. Pei Wenqing was also a staff member. These people reminded him of the days at the heir’s mansion with Pei Wenqing. Xu Siliang was one of the strategists heavily used by Xie Wuchi.

Xu Siliang said: “Last night, this subordinate heard the news of King Moyu’s army advancing on Yunzhou’s Feng Army! I urgently discussed with Xiang Qing, Shi Fang, Huo Zhong, and others overnight, wrote an urgent letter, and ask the lord to read it!”

“Understood. We’ll discuss it at the official residence.” Xie Wuchi pressed the letter on the table, not rushing to read it, his fingertip tapping once.

Xu Siliang couldn’t contain his wild joy: “My lord, heaven is truly going to destroy Feng Chongshan! Beat the drowning dog! Everything is exactly as the lord designed. General Tao has sent a letter. When the Min army arrives, the Chongming Army will feign defeat and open the gate to lead the wolf into the house—Feng’s hundreds of thousands of troops will be massacred by Northern Min. He’ll be alone. His Majesty’s dragon face will be furious, remove him. Congratulations in advance! Taiyin Prefecture and Zhongyuan Prefecture are already in the lord’s hands!”

“Impatient!” Xie Wuchi’s finger tapping the envelope suddenly stopped: “I told you to go down!”

“My lord…”

Xu Siliang didn’t understand but still sang a promise and retreated.

Xie Wuchi turned his back to the side room, picked up his teacup and took a sip, the heat his fingertip sensed seeming to have a restless pulse.

Sunlight shone in the center of the hall. The dark sandalwood matched the color of Xie Wuchi’s fingers. Light dust danced in the air. Everything seemed in some kind of chaos.

Xie Wuchi got up and walked in: “Shi Shu.”

The quiet feeling in Shi Shu’s heart slowly disappeared, blood flowing back from being drained. He looked up at Xie Wuchi and said: “Then I’ll go to the Chou Army camp first.”

Shi Shu walked several steps, still recalling Xu Siliang’s words, his heart beating like a drum, thump thump thump! Until it gathered into a surging, angry sea.

In no moment, Shi Shu’s footsteps stopped, and he turned back.

Xie Wuchi stood under the window lattice. The snow-white sunlight happened to lightly shine on his shoulders and skin. As Shi Shu walked toward him step by step, the sound of shoe soles stepping on floor tiles echoed. Xie Wuchi paused.

“Shi…”

Before he could finish, Shi Shu raised his head, stood on tiptoe, and kissed his lips.

__

Author’s note:

Xiao Shubao: Xie Wuchi, you cold and heartless guy, I will never forgive you! (Loudly)

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