YA Ch45: The Hater

Lu Yu was displeased upon hearing that and, barefoot, he jumped onto the sofa holding the two AI balloons under his arms. “What’s wrong with cyber kids? The future world will be one where AI and humans coexist, where silicon-based and carbon-based beings merge. My kids can exist for a long time; the flesh is weak, but the machine ascends!”

Tucked under his arm, Lu Dongdong wagged his tail and raised a fork, echoing, “The flesh is weak, but the machine ascends.”

Shen Baishui let his arms fall limp, pretending to be dead, unwilling to play with the fools.

After messing around for a while, it was finally time to go to go to sleep.

Lu Yu, ever so considerate, lay down on Ming Yan’s bed. The merman balloon sat obediently by his side, letting him browse through the screen.

Ming Yan dimmed the aromatherapy lamp and glanced at the still-playing Lu Yu. “Time to sleep. Let the kids out.”

“Right away, right away.” Lu Yu responded, quickly typing on the virtual keyboard, much like an internet-addicted teenager squeezing in a bit more screen time before bed.

The CEO balloon sat at the head of the bed, arms crossed in dissatisfaction, and spoke with a sarcastic tone: “Even if you don’t let them out, so what? It’s not like you two do anything inappropriate for minors.” After saying that, it cast a condescending electronic glance at Lu Yu.

Lu Yu paused his typing and clicked his tongue, “Tsk, this kid; it’s called being prepared. What if one day your dad is in a good mood and wants to play some naughty games with me? With you staring with your big eyes at the head of the bed, who could even play?”

Saying this, Lu Yu slid over like a backstroke caterpillar, rubbing his head against Ming Yan’s arm, only to be mercilessly pushed away by Ming Yan. “Don’t say nonsense.”

“What’s there to be afraid of? He’s in adult mode, not a child AI. Oh, I almost forgot,” Lu Yu, tactfully rolling back to his spot, as if suddenly remembering something important, leaned over to whisper in Lu Dongdong’s fake ear, “The second one is also a virgin, so let’s drop it; it’s not suitable for kids.”

Lu Dongdong blinked. “Father, I’m a virgin male too.”

Lu Yu patted his head. “It’s fine, kid. Being a virgin has its perks. Maintaining a pure body allows you to master supreme martial arts.”

The merman balloon made a puzzled expression. “But I’ve already become a god.”

Lu Yu coaxed the child, “Since you’re a god, let’s not engage in such low-level interests.”

As he said this, Lu Yu began swiping the screen again, posting a picture on his social media account. It was a photo he had taken in the workshop of a delicate hammer used for making watches, with a few brass-colored gears scattered beside it. The photo was quite artistic, with shadowy highlights, making it look like an advertisement for the hammer:

[Fish Out of Water: Mrs. Ming inspected the Ming family’s assets and gained a new title—Young Madam Ming.]

It wasn’t too late, and people on social media were still active. As soon as he posted, many comments flooded in, starting with Shen Baishui’s fans, who routinely demanded merchandise.

[Shen Baishui’s Wife: Where’s my husband? You post a hammer but no picture of my husband.]

[President Shen’s Official Girlfriend: Hua Wenyuan’s merchandise is already in the works; where’s Shen Baishui’s new merch? Now that the new son is trending, have you forgotten about our President Shen?]

[Get Rich: Please release a seated Shen Baishui figure so I can put it on my desk and worship it like a god of wealth.]

Then came the taunts from other fans of his books.

[Hua Family Army: Are you really addicted to being a live-in son-in-law? When will you start a new book?]

[Fish King’s Minion: You’re no longer just a live-in son-in-law; you’ve become a little wife. Fish Out of Water, have you secretly had a gender change?]

These were all normal teasing comments, but the only discordant voice, once again, came from that user named “Green Pastures.”

[Green Pastures: Instead of feeling ashamed, you take pride in it. Spit.]

Lu Yu clicked on the page of this very active hater and, based on his years of experience in exposing haters, soon figured out the person’s identity. He sneered and replied:

[Fish Out of Water replied to @Green Pastures: Mr. Simon, still not asleep? You should take care of yourself as you age.]

[Green Pastures: Who’s Mr. Simon? Don’t randomly accuse people.]

Shen Baishui, who had been watching the entire exchange from the bedside, said, “Who’s the one with low-level interests?”

Satisfied, Lu Yu closed the AI screen, sent the kids out of the bedroom, and rolled onto the bed, snuggling close to Ming Yan, who couldn’t open his eyes due to an eye patch. Taking a deep breath, he went to sleep.

The next day, the livestream was set to start at 9 AM. The lawyer they had scheduled arrived at 7 AM to meet with Lu Yu before the stream.

The lawyer first explained how this kind of case is generally judged and then discussed the specifics of this case: “If there’s no settlement, the mastermind could face a maximum sentence of 7 years.”

Seven years was too much for a boss who makes quick money. Unless the high-ranking officer arrested along with him takes all the blame, Luo Chaoxi would have to compensate that officer with a huge sum. Instead of giving the money to an accomplice and then coming out to fight with Lu Yu, it would be better to put that compensation into Lu Yu’s pocket.

All in all, the lawyer still recommended settling: “Even with a settlement, the other party would still have to serve one or two years in prison because the amount of money involved is too large for them to be released without punishment. If you don’t settle, the compensation you receive will be minimal, and you’ll make an enemy of a small-time crook, which isn’t worth it.”

Luo Chaoxi was clearly not a law-abiding citizen. If pushed to the brink, he could be a major problem once released.

Ming Yan also leaned towards settling: “In business, harmony brings wealth.”

Lu Yu nodded. “Let’s listen to Mr. Ming.”

The lawyer glanced at the well-behaved Lu Yu, who was taking his wife’s advice, and pulled out a stack of documents. On top was a list of compensations that Lu Yu had whimsically created after a workout.

The lawyer spoke as diplomatically as possible: “I reviewed Mr. Lu’s list. Most of it is fine, but a few items might be a bit unreasonable.”

Below that sheet of paper was a newly printed list from the lawyer, with a few items circled in pen.

“For example, the ‘new security system’ is an additional item that doesn’t fall within the scope of losses caused by the power cut, so it may be hard to get the other party to pay for it. And this fuel cost for ‘gouging out eyeballs’…” The lawyer maintained excellent facial composure, pausing only briefly before resuming his calm, professional demeanor.

“I don’t care,” Lu Yu said, grabbing the list. “We’re in the settlement process now, not a court ruling. I need to list all my actual losses. Whether they pay or not is their business, but whether I forgive them or not is mine.”

In Lu Yu’s view, Luo Chaoxi should pay for the security system. If it weren’t for his low-level business tactics that revealed the vulnerability of Chenyu’s servers, Lao Yang wouldn’t have had to spend so much on a high-end system.

The lawyer tried to get the client to accept his advice by first agreeing and then suggesting changes: “Right, you can certainly ask for more, but the final result will need to be negotiated with the other side. When negotiating with the opposing lawyer, it’s best if our demands are professional and reasonable—at least on the surface.”

What he really wanted to say was that anything too outrageous should be left off the list, or the other lawyer might laugh during negotiations.

However, this roundabout approach was clearly not suitable for Mr. Lu. Lu Yu only heard the key point: “So, I can ask for more, right?”

Thus, with a flourish, he added a few more items to the end of the list:

– A screwdriver for gouging out the toad’s eyes, 10 yuan

– Hair transplant costs for Yang Chen, who lost hair from staying up late to make repairs, 100,000 yuan

…

The lawyer’s perfect facade cracked. Laughing off the demands was now the least of his worries; he feared he might become a laughingstock in the legal community.

Lao Yang, who came by to remind them about the livestream and took a peek at the list for the fun of it, said, “…Thank you, I guess!”

Lu Yu tapped his right fist on his left chest. “You’re welcome. We’re brothers; it’s all in the heart.”