YA Ch85: Sorry

“Hehehe, hehehe…” Lu Yu was giggling beside Ming Yan’s ear.

Ming Yan couldn’t stand it anymore and weakly covered his mouth with his hand.

Lu Yu held that hand, kissing it inch by inch, starting with each finger, then moving to the spaces between the fingers, the base of the thumb, the back of the hand, the palm, and finally kissing the wrist, nuzzling his nose against the tender flesh on the inner wrist.

Ming Yan felt ticklish from the kisses and wanted to retract his hand but didn’t have the strength, so he could only weakly tug at Lu Yu’s ear.

“Does it still hurt?” Lu Yu finally stopped talking, tucked that pale arm back under the blanket, and asked, “Do you need some medicine?”

Ming Yan’s ears turned red as he buried his face in the pillow and said, “No need, it doesn’t hurt.”

Lu Yu leaned by the pillow and looked at him. “How could it not hurt, you were crying.”

“That was a physiological reaction. Be quiet, I’m so sleepy.” Ming Yan exposed one eye to glare at him, but that glare lacked any force; halfway through, he started yawning, and his eyes soon filled with tears.

Lu Yu immediately lowered his voice. “Okay, I won’t say anything. Go to sleep.”

After two minutes of silence, Lu Yu couldn’t help but start massaging Ming Yan’s back slowly. This time, Ming Yan didn’t push his hands away, so Lu Yu was relieved and boldly continued, unable to suppress his laughter, just shaking slightly.

Ming Yan closed his eyes and said, “Did you switch to vibration mode?”

Lu Yu seriously answered, “I just turned off the vibration; it’s still running on inertia.”

Ming Yan hit him in the blanket, lacking strength, and simply climbed onto Lu Yu, pinning him down and threatening, “If you wake me up now, next week you’ll be eating air.”

Lu Yu, usually restless, instantly became obedient, made a motion as if zipping his mouth, adjusted his position to make Ming Yan more comfortable, and then didn’t dare to move.

He felt like he was keeping a precious cat; the cat usually didn’t approach him, but today, it was in a good mood and allowed him to hold it while sleeping. He was itching to touch the soft fur but had to pretend to be a statue to preserve this rare closeness.

When the person in his arms had a steady breath and had completely relaxed, Lu Yu slowly raised his hand, touched Ming Yan’s hair, brushed aside a stray lock that had fallen onto his eyebrow, and placed a feather-light kiss on his forehead.

Lu Yu couldn’t help but smile. He felt that after this intimate contact, the whole world seemed renewed, as if everything had changed. He seemed to have gained more invisible rights—to watch freely and touch boldly. No longer afraid that his passionate gaze would offend, no longer needing to ask “Can I?” before embracing.

Content, Lu Yu tucked in the blankets and closed his eyes, holding his beloved.

In the dream, everything was misty. He seemed to have returned home, sitting in the study, looking at the marriage contract on the desk, which still had half a year left. He felt a pang of sorrow.

He heard Ming Yan coming home from work, heard him shower and change clothes, heard him bustling around in the bedroom.

Lu Yu stood barefoot on the carpet, looking at the open door of the opposite bedroom. He felt as if pulled by an invisible string, step by step, walking into that bedroom.

Ming Yan, who was putting a cover on a pillow, turned around casually and asked, “Is there something?”

Lu Yu opened his mouth but couldn’t speak. Suddenly, he lunged forward, pushing Ming Yan down onto the silk sheets, and bit down on his vulnerable neck.

Ming Yan flinched, struggling in panic, “Lu Yu, what are you doing!”

What was he doing? Lu Yu thought, unable to voice it. He could use this method to tell Ming Yan how much he loved him. He couldn’t bear the thought of Ming Yan leaving him.

Ming Yan couldn’t break free, so he gave up resisting. Whether it was fear or anger, a tear fell down, sliding to Lu Yu’s lips, which were kissing his cheek.

Tasting the faint salty flavor, Lu Yu’s mind echoed with his father’s words: “Your dad was a r*pist. You’re the result of him forcing your mom. You better not look for your mom; you’re her nightmare. It’s said this kind of gene is hereditary; when you grow up, you’ll also commit crimes. Kids like you are not wanted by ordinary families…”

Stung by the tear, Lu Yu suddenly woke up, like a wounded beast, letting out a hoarse and painful howl, “I’m sorry.”

He got up and fled in panic. On the way, he looked back uneasily and saw Ming Yan still lying there, just raising an arm to cover his eyes.

Lu Yu opened his eyes, feeling anxious.

This dream was clearer than the previous ones. He understood that it was probably not a dream but Lu Dayu’s memory. He instinctively reached for a cigarette, only to realize he didn’t smoke.

Why did he want a cigarette?

Ming Yan was already awake, scrolling through late-night food delivery options.

Lu Yu grabbed that hand and put a slender finger into his mouth.

Ming Yan said, “…Why are you biting people now that you’re awake?”

Lu Yu sucked on the fingertip a few times, feeling a bit comforted.

Ming Yan moved his damp fingers disdainfully and tapped Lu Yu’s lips. “Are you a child? Still in the oral stage?”

Lu Yu kissed the fingertip and held it carefully, softly asking, “Did you and Lu Dayu, in these three years, not…?”

Ming Yan remained silent, pulling his hand away to continue looking at the delivery options.

“You cried from the pain, so it must have been a long time since… Ow!” Lu Yu continued analyzing, suddenly getting pinched hard.

Ming Yan punched him in the blanket. “Why don’t you say it’s because of your poor technique?”

Lu Yu touched the pinched spot, muttering, “I was very careful.”

Ming Yan gave a light laugh and sighed slowly, “There was once, almost, but he suddenly gave up and apologized, then ran away.”

Lu Yu’s heart tightened. He tried to adjust his tense throat and asked, “Why?”

Ming Yan lay on the soft goose-down pillow, looking at the distant and bustling night scene outside the glass window, and self-deprecatingly smiled. “Probably realized suddenly that he wasn’t interested in me.”

“Impossible!” Lu Yu immediately forgot the issue he was discussing. Even if he didn’t like Lu Dayu, this had to be clarified. How could anyone not be interested in Ming Yan?

Ming Yan raised an eyebrow and glanced at him sideways. “How do you know?”

“Anyway, this body is super interested!” Lu Yu said, grabbing Ming Yan’s hand and pulling it into the blanket. “How about you verify it?”