YA Ch61: Abandoned

Lu Yu’s breathing suddenly quickened. “You know everything?”

Ming Yan gently nodded. “Most of it.”

Lu Yu’s chest rose and fell. The uneven sound of his breath echoed in the quiet small hall, like a shiver in the cold wind, carrying a slight but continuous tremble.

As he approached the truth, Lu Yu felt a pang of fear. He was afraid that knowing might be too much to bear, shattering him like Lu Dayu. But he needed to know; otherwise, the happiness in front of him would ultimately be an illusion, vanishing upon contact.

Lu Yu forced a smile and said, “Yan-ge, let’s go somewhere warmer. I’m feeling a bit cold.”

This small hall was actually warmer than the living room, but facing the desolate view outside and sitting alone on a chair made him feel uneasy.

Ming Yan didn’t say anything. He simply took Lu Yu’s hand and led him to his room. Walking to the depths of the bedroom, he opened a door that Lu Yu had not yet entered since coming here. It was a small study attached to the bedroom.

Both master bedrooms had their own studies. Lu Yu’s was a large study, while this one was small.

“I didn’t have many books to place, so I chose the smaller one,” Ming Yan explained.

Lu Yu nodded, understanding that besides this reason, it was also because this house was bought by Lu Dayu. Even though the property deed was in Ming Yan’s name under Lu Dayu’s strong request, Ming Yan could not accept it with peace of mind given their previous relationship, and thus, couldn’t choose the large study.

This study was decorated very warmly, its area about one-third of the large study. The shape was an unusual hexagon. Apart from the door, three walls were made of floor-to-ceiling glass windows. Unlike the large unblemished glass of the small hall, these three windows had white window panes, each square and even, like safe infant railings.

Light, soft gauze curtains hung inside the window, and the cold daylight filtered through the curtains, becoming gentle.

In the center of the room was a round gray carpet, very thick and plush. There was a work desk and easel against one wall, and a faux fireplace built into another wall.

Ming Yan turned on the simulated flames in the fireplace, and the bright red flames flickered, occasionally making the crackling sound of burning wood. He pulled Lu Yu onto the carpet and asked, “Is it warmer now?”

The floor underneath was equipped with underfloor heating pipes, so sitting on the carpet was actually the warmest, equivalent to being next to a radiator.

Lu Yu stared blankly and looked around curiously. Finally, his gaze settled on Ming Yan, who was sitting across from him. He shuffled closer and leaned against Ming Yan. Their body heat, through thin pajamas, felt warmer than the fireplace.

Listening to the crackling of the fire in silence for a while, Lu Yu finally spoke, “I want to know what the Lu family and Lu Dayu said before breaking up.”

Ming Yan pursed his lips. He had always been poor with words. While he could clearly explain business matters, when it came to Lu Yu, he was often inarticulate. After contemplating his wording, he began with an apparently unrelated topic: “Before going abroad to study, I asked you what you wanted to do after graduation.”

Lu Yu listened quietly, without interrupting.

“You said you didn’t want to work outside and just wanted to stay at home and write novels, asking if I would mind.”

Lu Yu smiled and nodded. This was indeed something he would say. After “The Fish King” became a hit, his monthly income was higher than what an ordinary white-collar worker could earn after many years, so working was a waste of time.

Ming Yan recalled the scene from back then and couldn’t help but smile: “I was very happy at the time. If you chose to write novels, it wouldn’t matter where you lived. So, I felt at ease submitting my study abroad application.”

At this point, Ming Yan got up and took a small photo from above the fireplace, hung with fine twine. It was taken with an old instant camera, square and yellowed.

“I rented a private apartment, not sharing with classmates, waiting for you to graduate and come find me.” Ming Yan said, feeling a bit embarrassed.

Lu Yu took the photo. It was a picture of an apartment in F country. A cozy apartment with white grid windows and a small garden with green grass and dwarf trees outside.

At that time, Ming Yan was a wealthy young master who could easily rent such a luxurious apartment with a garden, waiting for his beloved to move in and write by this grid window, giving him a loving kiss when he came home from work.

Lu Yu looked at the low-resolution photo, and his eyes reddened. These words were probably never told to Lu Dayu, making this a small surprise, like a box of roses that withered before being discovered.

Ming Yan lightly touched Lu Yu’s finger holding the photo. “Can you understand now?”

Everything was telling Lu Yu that Ming Yan hadn’t abandoned him; he had been waiting for him. He had understood this from the moment he saw the Seven Seas.

Lu Yu gently pinched the finger that touched his and nodded.

“You weren’t discarded. According to the somewhat incorrect but enduring feudal tradition, no one would discard a healthy male baby,” Ming Yan said, gently holding Lu Yu’s face with both hands and rubbing his thumb slowly, smiling, “Moreover, you are such a good-looking child.”

Lu Yu’s eyes curved in a smile. “Of course I know I’m handsome, so I’ve always suspected I was abducted.”

Ming Yan shook his head. “Not abducted. Your biological mother was an unmarried college student.”

Lu Yu’s smile froze, and his breathing quickened suddenly.

“After she gave birth to you, she got a valuable opportunity to study abroad at a top university. So she handed you over to the familiar childless Lu family,” Ming Yan said, holding Lu Yu’s face and forcing him to look into his eyes, “What they told you that day at the Lu family was this truth.”

The words might not have been said exactly like this, but the truth was this.

Study abroad…

Lu Yu’s lips trembled, and after a long silence, he spoke in a hoarse voice, “I understand.”

His biological mother abandoned him to go study abroad. The Lu family, having their own child, abandoned him too. Then he linked this to Ming Yan, who also went abroad to study and felt abandoned by the entire world.

When bad things happen three times, people break down.

His biological mother’s actions showed that the future was more important than blood ties; the Lu family’s actions showed that blood ties were more important than feelings; Ming Yan’s departure showed that the future was more important than feelings.

A perfect dead end where everyone rejected him and everything was more important than him.

“Lu Yu, Lu Yu…” Ming Yan released his hold on Lu Yu’s face and hugged the dazed Lu Yu, softly calling him, “I didn’t abandon you. I’ve always been waiting for you. It hurts me to think you think this way about me.”

Lu Yu came to his senses, slowly raised his hand, and hugged Ming Yan tightly.

Ming Yan gently stroked Lu Yu’s back. “Your mother didn’t abandon you either. She was so young and might have had her difficulties. Later, I found out she and the Lu family should have known each other.”

Though this was already quite clear, Lu Yu might not be thinking clearly at the moment. Ming Yan thought for a moment and added a straightforward explanation: “At that time, the Lu family, having no children and being wealthy, was a very good place for you, wasn’t it? As for them having their own child later, that was something your mother couldn’t have predicted.”

Lu Yu trembled slightly, unable to speak.

Ming Yan touched his side face and said softly, “If you want to cry, just cry. I won’t laugh at you.”

Lu Yu was made to smile a bit by him, and his tears fell.

Ming Yan wiped away a tear with his thumb. “This is the whole truth. No matter what the Lu family might say later, don’t pay any attention.”