YA Ch59: Variety Show

This variety show is called The Protagonist Diaries: Season One – Hua Wenyuan Edition.

The name pays homage to the classic movie The Princess Diaries. The Princess Diaries tells the story of an ordinary high school girl who suddenly discovers that she is the sole heir to a small country. She is taken by her grandmother, the queen, to undergo a complete transformation, ultimately evolving from an ordinary girl into a qualified princess.

Therefore, The Protagonist Diaries implies the idea of the protagonist undergoing a transformation.

Lu Yu looked at the title and clicked his tongue, “This video platform is really sly.”

The title is vague and broad, leaving room for a second, third, or more seasons in the future. The rights to the show belong to Bajiao Video. If Chenyu Tech doesn’t cooperate with Bajiao for the next season, Bajiao can still use other content to fill in and not waste the popularity of the first season.

The subtitle is a way to leave room for Chenyu Tech. The industry’s unspoken rule is that a variety show only produces one season per year. If Chenyu Tech needs to transform a second AI assistant within a year, it can be called Season One – So-and-so Edition, which wouldn’t break the rules or affect the schedule.

“It’s a smart approach. If we don’t cooperate with them for the second season, we’d be the ones losing out,” Ming Yan saw through the ploy as well. He smiled, pinched Lu Yu’s puffed-up cheeks, and comforted him, “I heard Bajiao pays very well, but it’s also highly competitive. Those who get to work on big projects are very capable teams.”

In other words, it’s highly likely they’ll do a great job. As long as they deliver, continued collaboration is a win-win and not a loss.

The two of them huddled under a blanket, ready to see what effect this top team could produce.

The show airs once a week. Lu Yu glanced at the duration; the first episode is about one hour long. “One hour? This edited-down live broadcast can’t cover a week’s worth of live content, right?”

Ming Yan nodded, “It’s probably going to be split into more than ten episodes. We only live-streamed for a month; the show should last for three months.” This is great; it can maintain long-term popularity.

Below the first episode, there were many related videos, short clips of highlights used for later promotion. As for the full live broadcast replay, Bajiao Video creatively turned it into short videos, with each chapter of a novel as a single video, formatted into a continuous short video series.

Lu Yu opened the interface and found that Bajiao was indeed greedy; each episode had a separate fee. If you don’t want to pay, you have to watch ads or get a Bajiao membership.

This combination is sure to make them a lot of money.

Lu Yu clicked his tongue, “I shouldn’t have given away that 10% share; with the money they’re making, they’re practically scraping the ground for gold.”

In his mind, he imagined Mr. Jiao holding a whip, driving his overworked employees. The employees, carrying baskets on their backs and holding scrapers, scraped off the thin layer of gold leaf on the ground and tossed it into their baskets.

Ming Yan glanced at the paid program and said leisurely, “When we signed the contract back then, it stated that you’d get a separate royalty fee for the novel rights for the replay of this live broadcast.”

Lu Yu’s furrowed brows instantly relaxed, “That’s more like it.”

Mr. Jiao, holding the whip, picked up a basket full of scraped gold and tossed it to Lu Yu, who had been expressing his dissatisfaction with capitalists. Lu Yu gladly accepted and chose to keep quiet.

“No other platform would be able to do as many projects as they do; Bajiao is still quite fair—they cover all the promotion costs,” Ming Yan smiled, pursing his lips, and pressed the play button to start the show.

Without any opening theme or title, the show jumped straight into a chaotic interview.

Ming Yan was surrounded by a crowd at the company entrance, and reporters were chattering with questions.

Lu Yu was startled, “What’s this?”

Ming Yan carefully identified the scene, slightly frowning, “This was when you had just, hmm, crossed over that day. Why was this cut in?”

On-screen, a reporter’s microphone was almost poking into Ming Yan’s eye. “President Ming, we heard that you and Lu Yu agreed to get married due to copyright consistency issues. Is that true?”

Ming Yan didn’t answer and directly got into the car. Xiao Jiang blocked the reporters, maintaining a formal smile, “Sorry, everyone, President Ming has an urgent matter.”

Then, the screen went black, and a few cute, bold words appeared: Fake Couple, Real Partners?

The scene then shifted directly to the preparation hall, where Lu Yu, dressed in a brown short outfit, was circling Ming Yan like a puppy, “Yan-ge, look, I can moonwalk.”

After a round of moonwalking, Lu Yu started complaining, “Why does my outfit look like a little waiter’s?”

Lu Yu tilted his head, “Yan-ge, let’s hold hands later to avoid getting lost.”

Lu Yu leaned closer to the camera, “Yan-ge?”

Yan-ge, Yan-ge, Yan-ge…

Various cartoon dialogue bubbles filled with “Yan-ge,” accompanied by meme-like effects, soon filled the screen. Then, like falling dominoes, they all collapsed with a “whoosh,” leaving Ming Yan standing there, eyes downcast, adjusting his brush parameters. The effects showed six dots appearing above his head in a speechless state, paired with slow “dong, dong, dong” sound effects, followed by a sudden frog “ribbit.”

The viewer comments showed that the audience was laughing hysterically at this moment.

[Hahaha, what is this? An enthusiastic puppy and an ice-cold beauty?]

[The editing is fantastic; it’s even funnier than the live broadcast.]

[They seem to have a good relationship. Even if it’s not love, it’s a great bromance.]

[For the sake of business, marrying a good brother—why does it feel even more shippable to me!]

Lu Yu: “…Did I really say ‘Yan-ge’ that many times? Am I that annoying?”

Ming Yan chuckled, “No, that’s just the variety show effect.”

It had to be said, the way it was edited was indeed very funny.

Lu Yu pouted, “Hmph, this is ruining my image. I’m hurt! I want a kiss as compensation.”

Ming Yan gave him a sidelong glance. This guy’s eyes were clearly smiling, but his mouth was puckered like a little duck, looking both funny and cute. He leaned over and gave Lu Yu a perfunctory kiss on the cheek.

Just as Ming Yan leaned in for the kiss, Lu Yu purposely turned his head, and the kiss landed on the corner of his mouth. “Oh my, you actually kissed someone’s lips, you’re so naughty!”

He pinched his voice, speaking in an exaggerated, affected tone, and then pressed his head into Ming Yan’s chest, rubbing around.

Ming Yan, pushed back into the sofa cushions by this bear-like cuddling, had no choice but to hold the squirming fellow, adjusting the sofa back to a firmer position to lock him in while he lay in his arms. “Alright, stop moving, watch the show properly.”

With Ming Yan holding him, Lu Yu finally settled down, bonelessly leaning against Ming Yan. He slid down a bit to avoid blocking his view. After enjoying himself for a moment, he couldn’t help but move around again, tilting his head to nuzzle Ming Yan’s chin with his nose, “This editing team has some skill. They can weave a storyline out of such small things, with twists and turns that add depth.”

“These kinds of storylines are more engaging to viewers than just jumping into the novel content.” Ming Yan, feeling tickled by the nuzzling, had to raise his chin to avoid it, like dodging the paws of a mischievous kitten.

When Lu Yu couldn’t reach him, he stopped being annoying and turned to boss around his son, who was sitting on the back of the sofa, watching with great interest, “Qianqian, get Dad a bag of chips, the barbecue-flavored one.”

President Shen, who was enjoying the show, flared up, “I told you not to call me Qian Qian! And why should I get it? Why don’t you ask your dear eldest son, Lu Dongdong?”

Lu Yu took a breath, feeling a toothache. This one not only developed needs but also grew rebellious: “Your brother only has one hand; you are the pillar of our family; you need to take care of your big brother and father, who have difficulties in daily life.”

Sitting beside him, Lu Dongdong cooperatively raised his trident to show that he indeed only had one working arm.

Shen Baishui snorted at the term “pillar of the family,” flew off to fetch a bag of chips, and tossed it onto Lu Yu’s head.

“Wait a minute,” the President ball suddenly realized, pointing at Lu Dongdong and then at Lu Yu, “He has only one arm; how are you inconvenienced?”

Lu Yu, chips balanced on his head, wrapped his arms around Ming Yan’s waist: “I have to hold your dad, not even one hand free.”

President Shen: “…”

Lu Dongdong pointed to the seat next to him with his trident, “Second brother, come sit here, don’t bother Father.”

The president ball angrily glared at the merman ball. The merman ball’s electronic eyes blinked and turned into a countdown timer, showing 12 hours left of “Must Respect Big Brother” time. Shen Baishui fell silent for a moment, then obediently flew back to sit next to his big brother, puffing with anger.

Lu Yu, who got what he wanted without any effort, happily crunched on the chips.

Their interactions served as the opening hook. Then came the theme song, marking the official start of the show. The lively and cute song had a chorus with the powerful sound of battle on the battlefield. The unexpected blend of these two vastly different musical styles turned out to be surprisingly pleasing.

During the lively and cute parts, the background showed various funny interactions between Lu Yu and Ming Yan, while the chorus part showcased Hua Wenyuan’s fierce battle scenes, drenched in blood, shooting arrows with his bow.

After the song, the show’s title appeared. The camera then shifted to the opening scene.

Snow covered the ground, and Hua Wenyuan was trapped in a lonely city.

The effect already looked great during the live stream, but with added sound effects and background music in the show, the atmosphere instantly went up a notch.

Hua Wenyuan stood atop the city gate, his handsome face swept by the wind and snow, the flag beside him fluttering fiercely. Accompanied by the desolate tune of the Song of the Frontier, a pipa and xiao (flute) played, and on the left side of the screen, a line of vertical subtitles slowly appeared in dark golden brushstroke font:

“Guests from You and Bing always grow old with the yellow sand.”②

Ming Yan sighed softly, “The effect is really well done.” Even he felt a bit melancholic.

Lu Yu continued munching on chips, “This poem doesn’t fit. Hua Wenyuan isn’t from Jizhou. It should be ‘The army splits in five, the lone troops face a hundred battles.’③”

Ming Yan shook his head, “They just want to express the setting. If they used what you suggested, it would be a spoiler.”

As the two were discussing, the screen displayed some special effects text:

So where are our two transformation masters?

The camera turned and focused on the two figures wrapped in black fox fur on a distant mountain peak.

The special effects humorously labeled them as “Mountain Bandits,” then gave a close-up of their stacked faces.

“Poof—cough, cough, cough!” Lu Yu spat out the chips in his mouth.

___

Author’s Note:

Annotations:

1. “Song of the Frontier” is a traditional pipa suite, originally depicting Wang Zhaojun’s departure to the frontier.

2. “Guests from You and Bing always grow old with the yellow sand.” This line is from the ancient poem Frontier Song I by Wang Changling.

3. “The army splits in five, the lone troops face a hundred battles.” This line is from the ancient poem Song of the Frontier by Wang Changling. Since the next line is “Merits many but lands in prison, the soldiers’ hearts only grieve,” Ming Yan said it would be a spoiler.