UCTOOT CH71.2

Xie Wuchi lowered his brows in thought, unclear if he was satisfied with this answer, and said: “Bring him in.”

Shi Shu repeated: “I only have him as a friend left.”

Xie Wuchi: “Alright, I won’t kill him.”

Shi Shu turned his face and walked with Xie Wuchi to Jinlan Villa. Rumor had it this was a garden built by a noble family over decades. Before Dasheng Prefecture was taken, a Northern Min royal lived here. Now this royal had fled secretly through the back door upon learning of the war, leaving Northern Min soldiers to fight hard. Now, Jinlan Villa had not been burned by war fire. Just in time after the blizzard these past few days, the carved railings and jade steps in the snow scenery were elegant and beautiful, snow falling.

Shi Shu was locked in a courtyard. After waiting for a long time, Du Zihan finally arrived carrying bags big and small, looking around as soon as he entered: “My god, do we live here?”

Shi Shu: “Mm. Xie Wuchi made it. He seized Dasheng Prefecture. Next, he’ll probably keep getting promoted.”

Du Zihan put down their luggage and said: “On my way here, I saw Great Jing’s army killing people—”

Shi Shu: “It is so. The massacre is about to happen.”

Du Zihan’s eyes widened. He didn’t speak for a long while, then remembered to ask: “Where’s Brother Xie?”

“He made a great contribution. People came early to give gifts and flatter him. He went to the celebration banquet with Zhao Shirui.” Shi Shu took the luggage and opened the bundle to check. Only a very few clothes, a cotton quilt, and a few pieces of broken silver—this was about all of Shi Shu’s property here.

Shi Shu murmured: “Laifu.”

Du Zihan: “What’s wrong?”

“Also Laifu,” Shi Shu turned to look at Du Zihan, “Zhang Tong’s death is related to Xie Wuchi. They met long ago. Zhang Tong committed suicide in advance to not expose your identity as a time traveler.”

Du Zihan’s eyes widened instantly, incoherent: “What! What! He? He…”

Shi Shu said: “We have to leave. Xie Wuchi killing you is a matter of time. I don’t believe a word he says.”

Du Zihan hadn’t reacted yet: “How could it be like this? I knew he was a special boss character, ruthless in handling things. Why, was Zhang Tong really…? No wonder… no wonder he avoided being with me during that time… Some people said they saw someone looking for him; I thought it was his friend. I never thought in this direction… Should I, should I take revenge…”

Shi Shu: “Do you want to take revenge?”

Du Zihan: “I can’t do it… I don’t have that ability. I can’t do anything.”

“Leave with me? Zhao Shirui isn’t a righteous army either. Is there still a righteous army in this world, people who think for the common folk? I thought Xie Wuchi achieved it in behavior, but he didn’t either. I want to know, I want to go find out.” Shi Shu said.

Du Zihan looked at him, eyes red: “I’ll go with you.”

Shi Shu refolded the clothes and put them neatly in the bundle. While warming by the fire, he thought carefully. Xie Wuchi hadn’t wronged him; instead, he provided good food and drink, letting Shi Shu warm himself by the fire on a snowy day, much better than those corpses filling ditches in the ice and snow.

But perhaps because he always relied on him, living behind his back, Shi Shu lost himself and missed the experience and honing of wind and frost.

Shi Shu rested his chin on his hand. Firelight danced on his fair face; the boy’s contours were bony and clear but soft, very handsome and free.

While poking with fire tongs, Shi Shu accidentally poked the fire onto himself.

Du Zihan hurriedly helped him pat out the fire: “Out out out! Damn, what are you thinking?!”

Shi Shu was also startled, then calmed down: “I’m thinking.”

Thinking of Xie Wuchi, tears fell again. Shi Shu wiped his tears: “I always treated him as my best friend. Turns out he treated me like this from the start. But he’s also very… he…”

Shi Shu rubbed his face hard, wiping away tears: “I’m thinking if I should say a few words to him.”

Du Zihan was silent for a while: “He likes you, right?”

Shi Shu: “I don’t know.”

Du Zihan: “Think for yourself. Decided to leave? Then don’t say too much; it’s torture for both.”

The dampness on Shi Shu’s face was dried by the fire: “What you said makes sense too.”

While the two sat, suddenly Shi Shu heard happy barking “Woof woof woof!” He stood up abruptly. Laifu was led into the courtyard by a soldier. Once the rope was released, Laifu immediately sprinted towards Shi Shu.

“Woof woof woof! Woof woof woof! Woof woof woof!”

Shi Shu caught him abruptly, hugging him: “Laifu!”

The soldier said: “Lord Xie asked to bring the dog, and a basket of cats, saying the Second Young Master raised them.”

Shi Shu understood, turning to glance at Du Zihan: “One ride of red dust for the concubine’s smile—this actually happened to me.”

Du Zihan: “Thoughtful. Afraid you’d be lonely, he actually had someone bring Laifu from Senzhou.”

Shi Shu’s heart settled: “Just right, just right.”

Near evening, dark clouds in the distance faded. Servants in the house lit the stove fire, arranging meals. This meal had been cooking since the afternoon. Shi Shu guessed it would be lavish, but seeing people serving dishes joyfully—“Young Master Xie, this is ‘Smoked Goose,’ ‘Thousand Li Water Shield Soup,’ ‘Drunken Ribs,’ ‘Lion’s Head,’ ‘West Lake Vinegar Fish’…”—naming a huge pile of dishes.

While Shi Shu looked at the dishes on the table, in the wind and snow outside the door, Xie Wuchi walked from the courtyard with someone holding snow gear for him. He wore dark fitted clothes embroidered with patterns, posture noble and upright, hair slightly blown by wind and snow.

Xie Wuchi walked in, slender fingers lifting the curtain. Seeing him, Laifu went around to wag his tail.

Shi Shu lowered his head; Du Zihan also rubbed his forehead. Shi Shu waited until he felt a shadow fall on top of his head.

“Did you forget again what day it is today?”

Shi Shu always forgot everything when busy. Hearing this, he reacted: “Oh.”

“We’ll stay in Dasheng Prefecture for a few days, then return to Senzhou. Call Laifu over to accompany you first.”

Shi Shu: “Okay. I missed him. Although someone took care of him, I’m not assured with strangers.”

Du Zihan stood up: “My stomach hurts a bit. Where do I sleep? I’ll go sleep first. You guys eat slowly, I won’t disturb you.”

Shi Shu watched him walk into the side room next door before withdrawing his gaze. Xie Wuchi said: “Eat. You’ve been following the logistics team, sleeping in the wind and dew; you’ve thinned a lot.”

Shi Shu picked up chopsticks then put them down, looking up at Xie Wuchi’s face: “You.”

“What is it?”

Shi Shu said: “Really strange.”

Xie Wuchi put a piece of rib in his bowl, nodding: “I want to apologize to you.”

Shi Shu said: “You saved me once at Zhou Family Village. It was right for me to be good to you later; indeed there was reason to repay kindness. Treat these three thousand miles walked with you as paying everything off.”

Xie Wuchi: “Do you hate me?”

Shi Shu shook his head and smiled: “I don’t hate you. I understand quite well.” Because in his eyes, Xie Wuchi wasn’t very happy either.

Xie Wuchi held his hand, looking into his eyes: “Be with me, accompany me forever. Can you love me?”

Shi Shu looked at him, slowly picked up chopsticks, and looked away: “I need time.”

It seemed Xie Wuchi hadn’t considered the possibility that he might leave.

“Eat. I’m a bit tired, don’t want to talk about this today.” Shi Shu put food in his bowl. “You eat more too. I’ll sleep after eating. Haven’t had a good sleep these past few days.”

Xie Wuchi was sitting beside Shi Shu. One hand covered Shi Shu’s left hand, with some erotic suggestion: “Sleep with me?”

Shi Shu averted his gaze, wanting to say something but held it in his throat: “Whatever, I don’t care.”

At the same time, Shi Shu was very calm inside. Probably because he never got angry at Xie Wuchi, he didn’t know what emotion he had now. This was fine.

The food on the table was soon mostly eaten. After they washed up, as soon as Shi Shu entered the door, he was hugged by Xie Wuchi. Shi Shu didn’t dodge, letting him kiss his earlobe and neck.

Xie Wuchi was quite pitiful too.

But thinking carefully, it was more appropriate to pity himself. Xie Wuchi was about to ascend to the sky in one step, soaring with military merit, while he was so poor he only had underpants, not knowing where his future lay. If—a thought flashed through Shi Shu’s mind—if he pretended not to see Xie Wuchi’s behaviors now, treating it as none of his business, could he follow him to enjoy wealth and glory, never having to endure wind and cold again?

And what would leaving Xie Wuchi look like? Farming, wandering. Most importantly, losing even a psychological reliance.

If only he hadn’t met Xie Wuchi; at least he would have courage to live. Knowing him actually made him fear the uncertain future.

His face was held by one hand, nose rubbed against: “You suffered these past few days. I shouldn’t have put you in the logistics team to deal directly with life and death. Trauma?”

Shi Shu shook his head: “It’s okay.”

Just finished speaking, lips were sealed by him. When separated, Shi Shu panted, ears red, silver threads connecting lips, even restless saliva flowing to his chin. He looked at Xie Wuchi with both eyes, wiping his chin clean with a handkerchief.

Xie Wuchi’s dark eyes were looking at him. Since tonight, Shi Shu had been especially silent and hadn’t exchanged glances with him. Xie Wuchi asked: “Are you still angry?”

Shi Shu: “I’m sleepy.” Thinking of something, Shi Shu said, “You’re right. Changing people is a very difficult thing, whether others changing or changing oneself.”

Xie Wuchi stared at him: “Shi Shu.”

“I’m sleeping.” Shi Shu lay on the bed. “Maybe one day you’ll find I’m not that good either. Better be yourself. Can tell you’re a favored son of heaven, never apologized to anyone. Even if very sincere, it somehow isn’t right. I don’t need this kind of psychological comfort.”

The blizzard outside the window stopped. Shi Shu closed his eyes. He knew Xie Wuchi wasn’t asleep, seemingly watching him wordlessly in the dark. Shi Shu didn’t continue imagining other outcomes, because from beginning to end, the answer in his heart was the best, while no matter how good the rationally thought-out ones were, they weren’t what he wanted.

Midnight, Shi Shu woke once. He was tired; Xie Wuchi was indeed very tired too, sleeping soundly while holding him.

Taking advantage of the weak light, Shi Shu dug out the rope tool Song Sinan gave him from the bundle. Among many medicine bottles was a bottle of hypnotic calming drug. Shi Shu threw these things aside, tsk-ing in his heart: “No wonder they say Lu Xun abandoned medicine for literature. Too many people die; doctors sometimes can’t handle it.”

Shi Shu sat at the head of the bed. Xie Wuchi was indeed sleeping deeply. Shi Shu looped the rope around his wrist. Xie Wuchi didn’t move, still sleeping with eyes closed. Shi Shu sat by the table thinking about words to leave for Xie Wuchi. Better say something; knowing each other for a year, it wasn’t to the point of breaking off relations.

Shi Shu sat waiting for dawn. Until the snow stopped, daylight shone in, taking away the darkness in the room. Shi Shu scrutinized Xie Wuchi’s face carefully. Contours sharp and handsome. Eyes seemed born cold, but when full of affection could be counted as gentle—although to him it was winking at a blind man. Very handsome, good figure too, just didn’t know what was in his mind.

“Tsk… headache.”

Shi Shu’s mind was chaotic, head splitting with pain. He barely thought of some decent words, preparing to say them then.

Unexpectedly, Xie Wuchi woke up. Eyelids lifted amidst pillows and bedding. Realizing one wrist was tied by rope, he looked up. There seemed a moment of surprise. Eyes bloodshot.

“Shi Shu.”

Shi Shu forgot all prepared words at this sudden awakening. He simply stood up: “Xie Wuchi, forgot to tell you, I’m not angry at you. I’m preparing to leave.”

Xie Wuchi: “Where are you going?”

Shi Shu picked up the bundle: “I don’t know where either. Great Jing’s land isn’t small; go anywhere. Stop wherever looks pleasing to the eye. Maybe travel the world like Xu Xiake, possibly.”

Xie Wuchi looked calm enough, sitting up from the bed, the other hand untying the knot: “Listen to me. The outside world isn’t that good. You have no money. You won’t have a good life out there. Staying with me is better for you.”

Shi Shu couldn’t help laughing: “Hahaha! I knew you’d say something like this. Don’t worry, I’ll live very well.”

Silence.

This sentence seemed to tear something open. Xie Wuchi’s face turned pale instantly, the other hand tearing at the knot more roughly: “Why leave? Why?”

Seeing the wire hook into flesh, blood flowing out. Shi Shu stopped smiling: “You can’t break free yourself. I just want to say goodbye to you. Leaving now, Laifu with me.”

Thousands of words in his mind, Shi Shu regretted forgetting what he wanted to say. But just as he took a step, he heard a loud “Crash! Clang!” behind him.

Shi Shu’s heart jumped. Turning his face, Xie Wuchi walked forward. His left hand was tied dead to the bed leg. His strength was too great; the whole heavy wooden bed was dragged forward. But this rope was famously tighter the more you untied it. His strong-boned wrist had wire embedded into flesh, strangling flesh, blood pouring.

“Shi Shu, let’s talk slowly if you have something to say. Why leave?”

Shi Shu: “No need to talk. I don’t want to change myself, nor change others.”

Seemingly hearing the determination in the words, Xie Wuchi’s voice weakened: “Shi Shu, can you not leave.”

Shi Shu withdrew his gaze from his bloodless face, retreating. With every step back, he could hear Xie Wuchi’s voice clearer and clearer.

“I like you.”

“Shi Shu, I like you.”

“I love you.”

Eyes red, looking at Shi Shu. Bright red blood flowed down from Xie Wuchi’s wrist, quickly wetting his palm, flowing down his fingertips.

Xie Wuchi walked forward: “What did I do wrong… I… change… don’t go… Shi Shu, I don’t want to lose you…”

The rope on the wrist tightened. Shi Shu only knew if he didn’t leave, Xie Wuchi would strangle his hand off. His mind blurred. Turning around, he picked up the bundle and ran out the door.

The door opened wide to fine snow; unknown when snow started falling again.

“How is it?” Du Zihan waited outside, getting a look from Shi Shu. They ran out together. Horses were tied at the gate. Shi Shu hurriedly said to the guard: “Go in quickly to check on your Lord Xie.” Then ran.

Horses galloped in the city. Both sides were burning houses and celebrating soldiers. Captives’ cries and victory’s joy wove a blurry dreamlike picture in the fine snow. Laifu ran hard behind the horse while barking “Woof woof woof.” Shi Shu gripped the reins tight with both hands, palms hurting from rough ropes. Wind howled past ears. His mind was full of Xie Wuchi saying in his ear “Shi Shu, brave, brave.”

Unknown how long ran, how far ran. Until galloping out of the city gate, Shi Shu’s eyes reflected the blood flowing from Xie Wuchi’s wrist, drop by drop gathering, smashing on the ground. And one drop fell from the corner of his eye.

Taikang Year 11, Spring.

Zhao Shirui broke Northern Min’s Cha River defense line Yuantulu Tribe, captured Dasheng Prefecture, retaking Jing Dynasty’s place of origin.

“Crunch crunch” sounds of carts transporting grain moved slowly on the mountain path. People walked carrying grain while discussing happily: “This victory, first due to General Zhao’s bravery, second due to ‘Hatred Army’ vanguard surprise attack on snowy night cutting enemy grain path… The third, that Lord Xie dismissed from new policies happened to be exiled to Senzhou! It was his plan that facilitated this victory!”

“This Lord Xie is truly the fortune of the common people, the blessing of the state!”

“With him advocating war, retaking Great Jing’s lost three prefectures and six provinces is probably just before eyes! I can also take advantage of not dying yet to go home, burn paper for my old mother’s grave…”

Shi Shu walked among this group. Laifu followed beside him. Orioles sang melodiously, jumping in the forest. Rarely a good weather. Warm sunlight fell through sparse branches onto Shi Shu’s fair handsome face.

Shi Shu withdrew his gaze: “Trees sprouting, spring is coming.”

Du Zihan followed beside him: “Yes, spring seems to be coming. Where are we going now?”

Shi Shu led Laichai (Laifu), saying: “Walk forward first. Don’t know where to go. If the destination isn’t important, then try how far we can walk.”

“Okay!” Du Zihan happily took out a steamed bun, ate half, fed the rest to Laifu.

Shi Shu walked forward. After walking a while, suddenly remembering something, turned his face again, looking from endless mountains towards where Senzhou was, also where Xie Wuchi stayed.

A moment later, Shi Shu lowered his head to adjust his bamboo hat, wiping away tears.

The group walked past the grain road.

Behind them, wolf smoke rose everywhere, horns sounded frequently. Large batches of Northern Min armies were gathering, roaring and shouting revenge, pouring hatred with blood. Another batch of fleeing commoners cried and ran everywhere from city towers. Swords and shadows, blood splashing. The victors’ slaughter and plundering carnival was in progress.

And several figures, as masters manipulating cities, stood on the sunset tower, overlooking the entire land burning with war fire.

One pair of eyes among them looked south, as if searching for something, leaping over tens of thousands of mountains.

Next Part · Moon’s Brilliance 📖

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