UCTOOT CH58

When he woke up in the morning, Xie Wuchi’s eyelids were still closed.

Xie Wuchi’s sleeping posture was neat. His wrists were bound by cold handcuffs, which he had placed above Shi Shu’s head, almost imprisoning him in his arms.

Xie Wuchi and Shi Shu were pressed close together. In the middle of the night, Shi Shu had been woken up once by the heat, but Xie Wuchi’s legs were intertwined with his, their bodies entangled. This extremely intimate act seemed to stem from an intense inner longing and joy. Shi Shu had no choice but to endure it.

“Is this some kind of skin hunger? Holding me like a couple.”

Shi Shu moved. Something inside the blanket touched him. Shi Shu’s brow furrowed, and he shifted slightly. The thing poked him more centrally.

“Mmm…”

“…………” Aaaaaahhhhhh!

Shi Shu leaped out of bed, thinking, “This is really enough. You’re in a bad mood, so I’ll let you hold me for one night, but don’t even think about it tomorrow.”

He walked to the door. Xie Wuchi was still sleeping silently. Thinking carefully, during the New Policies, he had worked tirelessly, burning the midnight oil. After the New Policies were abolished, his life was on the line, and his heart was anxious. Now that he was exiled, the dust had settled, and he could finally get a good night’s sleep.

Physical suffering, but spiritual peace.

Shi Shu shook his head. “I don’t understand.”

He made a “tsst-tsst” sound and took Laifu to the woods outside the station.

The air among the grass and trees was fresh. After a moment, Laifu finished his business and ran back from the grass, wagging his tail. The autumn sun was neither too warm nor too harsh. Back at the station, Xie Wuchi had also come downstairs.

The station master was preparing breakfast. Xie Wuchi stood there like a male model. Shi Shu glanced at him and played dead, pretending he hadn’t been held by him all night.

Xie Wuchi’s pair of dark eyes stared at him. By the time Shi Shu turned his face away, he was already by the well, washing up.

They really weren’t familiar.

They hadn’t seen each other for three months, he had been busy and forgotten, and besides, Xie Wuchi seemed to be in a very bad mood, so the two of them had little to say.

A moment later, the bailiff saw that it was the hour of the Chen, and said, “Let’s go.”

The second day of exile began. Shi Shu, as usual, wrapped gauze around his ankles. When he looked up, Xie Wuchi finally asked, “How long has Pei Wenqing been gone?”

Shi Shu pulled his hand back and plucked a wild chrysanthemum from the mountainside. “He passed two months after I came back. Lin Yangchun couldn’t save him either. He was happy when he left, though. He even asked me to tell you that he’s very grateful to you.”

Xie Wuchi: “What else did he tell you?”

“He also said, don’t let me cry.”

Xie Wuchi: “You cried for him?”

Shi Shu: “Huh?”

Xie Wuchi said flatly, “I also want to thank him. If not for these veterans, it would have been difficult for me to see the ills of the Great Jing with my own eyes. I benefited greatly from our discussions on politics.”

Shi Shu finally wanted to ask, “Before you implemented the New Policies, did you not think it would fail?”

“It would fail, but I have my reasons.”

Shi Shu lowered his head and fiddled with the wild flower. “A few days before I left, many Imperial College students came looking for me, wanting to see you off. They even placed a ‘myriad people’s umbrella’ at the gate. There were always people outside the courtyard. I felt I couldn’t live there anymore, so I sold it.”

Although the New Policies had failed, especially when they were proving effective, Xie Wuchi’s reputation had reached a peak. Some people almost worshipped him as a living god or Buddha. These four bailiffs were all quite polite to Xie Wuchi, which was a testament to his reputation.

That being said, Shi Shu quietly looked back. “But with this group from the palace following us, no one dares to be good to you.”

Xie Wuchi was a major criminal of the court; getting involved with him would be troublesome.

Shi Shu chatted with him briefly, then fell silent again.

Shi Shu mangled the flower in his hand as he walked through the mountain forest. However, after walking for not too long, they reached a narrow bamboo forest. He could see smoke curling from chimneys in the surroundings, where many families lived.

The sun was very strong today. They traveled under the blazing sun, and there were no inns nearby for food. Shi Shu was getting tired. He turned his head and saw that Xie Wuchi’s wrists, bound by the chains, were chafed raw. His expression was as usual, but sweat dripped from his jaw.

Shi Shu: “Let’s find a place to rest quickly.”

Just as he finished speaking, a few teenagers walked out from the slope. He heard them clapping their hands. “Look what we have today, hey? It’s a criminal! A criminal is here! A criminal is here!”

This road was the mandatory route for prisoners exiled to the north. Before Shi Shu could react, he saw these people picking up stones and throwing them at Xie Wuchi. “Hit him, hit him! Thief, robber, murderer!”

The stones fell like rain, all aimed at Xie Wuchi. Xie Wuchi closed his eyes but was hit by a stone. Shi Shu threw himself in front of him and was hit in the back of the head, a sharp pain. He turned his head. “Hey! Stop it!”

“I hit him three times!”

“I hit him five times!”

“I hit him once!”

“…”

Shi Shu’s anger shot to the top of his head. “Didn’t I tell you to stop!” He ran up the slope. They were all teenagers in their teens. Some were frightened by Shi Shu’s angry shout and ran back. Another, about Shi Shu’s age, picked up a larger stone. “I’ll hit him if I want to! I’ll beat these criminals to death!”

Shi Shu grabbed his collar with one hand and, without thinking, punched him in the face. After knocking him to the ground, he grabbed his neck. “Didn’t I tell you to stop? He didn’t do anything wrong! Can’t you understand! Huh!”

“He’s a criminal, so I’ll—”

Shi Shu grabbed his hair and gave him another punch, his eyes red. “Hitting him once is one thing, but you keep hitting him. When did it become your turn to pass judgment?! Didn’t I tell you to stop? Don’t other people feel pain? Apologize to him, and then get lost!”

A few bailiffs ran up the slope. The person covered his face, twisted away, and ran. Only then did Shi Shu stand up, trembling from the emotional outburst, and returned to Xie Wuchi’s side.

There was a bruise under Xie Wuchi’s eye. He lowered his eyelids, completely detached throughout the whole ordeal, as if he wasn’t the one being hit. Only when he saw Shi Shu go up and fight did his expression change. Shi Shu fumbled for medicine in his bundle and took out a vial. “Let me see. Where else does it hurt besides this? How did you get such a big wound? Don’t get disfigured.”

Xie Wuchi’s throat rolled slowly. He lowered his eyes and looked at him for a moment, his lips pursed slightly. “My ear.”

He took a look, and it was bleeding too.

Shi Shu cupped his face, helped him apply the medicine, and said, “You guys go on ahead, I’ll be right there.”

Then Shi Shu grabbed a stick and ran up the slope. The bailiffs said, “Hey, let’s just forget it, right?”

“Don’t mind me!”

When Shi Shu found the group, they were leaning against a large banyan tree, smiling as they blocked a frail-looking child passing by, demanding money. Shi Shu rushed up and hit each of them with the stick, adding two slaps for good measure. They screamed in pain, and only then did he head back.

However, on his way back, he didn’t know where the bailiffs had gone, so he had to break into a run. He panted all the way, shouting loudly, “Xie Wuchi!”

In the inn, a few dishes had just been stir-fried. The travel cangue was removed. Xie Wuchi sat on a long bench waiting for him, his prisoner’s uniform plain and snow-white.

The bailiffs were laughing. “Lord Xie, your good little brother is here.”

Shi Shu was covered in dust, a few strands of hair scattered messily, fluttering in the wind. Sweat beaded on his handsome face as he ran over.

Shi Shu ran to Xie Wuchi’s side. “Let me see your wound!”

In front of others, Xie Wuchi was exceptionally cold. In the eyes of these bailiffs, even as a prisoner, he was a quiet, distant, and unapproachable fallen minister. At this moment, he didn’t fight, didn’t grab, didn’t make a sound. He just sat quietly and let Shi Shu look at his face.

A moment later, Xie Wuchi’s hand lifted and pressed on Shi Shu’s back.

Shi Shu yelped, “Ah!”

“You were also hit by a stone when you protected me. Does it hurt?”

Shi Shu: “I’m fine. I’m so angry, I beat them all up just now.”

This is how we righteous angels are.

We take revenge on the spot.

Xie Wuchi turned his face away. The bailiffs and the eunuch were also watching with keen eyes.

Xie Wuchi had stirred up a storm in the Eastern Capital; everyone knew of him. The memorials all impeached him as “violent, cruel, bloodthirsty, and audacious,” while in the mouths of another group of New Policy supporters and scholars, he was “as elegant as a crane controller of the Orchid Terrace,” “upright and refined,” “with the bearing of a stone pine,” and “like ice and snow.” Now, looking at the two brothers, they couldn’t help but whisper among themselves.

“This older brother and younger brother are really completely different. Interesting.”

“Hey, who wouldn’t be angry after being hit by a stone?”

Shi Shu knew Xie Wuchi’s persona. In front of others, he was very proper. He waved his hand. “I’m fine, I’m going to wash my hands.”

Shi Shu went to the well, drew water to wash his face, washed the yellow dirt from his arms, and sat down to rest for a while.

A eunuch to the side took out a brush and ink and was writing. It seemed that whatever happened to Xie Wuchi on this journey would be presented to the monarch and ministers in court. Even being hit by stones had to be recorded.

Heh.

If you have that kind of time, go shovel the manure at the village entrance.

After eating, there was only a simple rest before they set off on the road again.

Late at night, in a dimly lit room at the station, after a day or two of contact, things seemed less tense. The bailiffs were playing cards downstairs, and the eunuch was also sitting at a table. The empty courtyard’s gate was locked, and guards sat at the entrance eating. Shi Shu and Xie Wuchi stood by the well. Only now did they have the leisure to treat the wounds all over his body. Shi Shu said, “You take your clothes off first, I’ll go get the medicine.”

When he came out with the medicine, Xie Wuchi was standing there bare-chested, with only a pair of underpants tied at his waist.

At the door, a young eunuch peeked out but was slapped back by another. “Don’t look! Is it that good-looking! Haven’t you seen a man before? This is a major criminal of the court!”

“Ouch!” The young eunuch held his head.

“…” Shi Shu scratched his head. It was inconvenient on the road, and Xie Wuchi was covered in injuries. Taking off clothes seemed to have become the most ordinary thing.

The Xie Wuchi before him had just washed his dark hair, which hung by his ears. He exuded a cold aura. Shi Shu applied medicine to his neck. The wound from the cangue made the strong, vigorous muscles seem to have a sense of smoke and blood, a kind of battle-damaged beauty.

The moonlight shone on his shoulders and collarbones, clean and bony, his muscles firm. The eunuch was still peeking. Shi Shu couldn’t help but say, “Xie Wuchi, you’ve got some looks, a walking male fox.”

Xie Wuchi lowered his eyes. “You don’t want me to take my clothes off for others to see?”

Shi Shu: “I didn’t say that. I was just thinking, these people escorting such a handsome prisoner must be a rare sight.”

“There’s also a guard who keeps looking at you, very interested in you.”

A shiver went down Shi Shu’s back. “For real?”

“Yes, I’m very familiar with gazes full of desire. One in ten people is homosexual. There are more than twenty people on this road.”

Shi Shu said casually, “Then by that probability, if we count you out first, if you’re gay, then there’s only one other gay person left here.”

Quiet, silence.

Only after he finished speaking did Shi Shu realize Xie Wuchi hadn’t responded. He looked up. Xie Wuchi’s dark eyebrows were also damp, very vivid after being washed with cold water, his facial features handsome and distinct. His face was very handsome, from the bridge of his nose to his jaw, a kind of carved, cold handsomeness.

Xie Wuchi looked levelly at Shi Shu. “Since when did you confirm I was a homosexual?”

“…………”

Thinking it was one thing, hearing him admit it was another. Shi Shu kind of regretted saying that. Hearing him say he liked men with his own mouth and kissing him were two different things. This way, he couldn’t even deceive himself. Damn it.

And, this way it’s also very awkward to look at his body!

Shi Shu tightened the cap on the vial, his scalp tense. “You’re probably not… cough cough, what’s the weather like tomorrow, can the clothes dry tonight? Otherwise, let’s just make do for another day. We can buy a horse at the market tomorrow to carry the luggage. How much does a horse cost, Xie Wuchi?”

Shi Shu turned around, his fingers hooking the clothes on the well railing.

Above his head came a low, magnetic, sexy voice. “In my adolescence, I would get a physiological reaction from watching gay porn, especially films depicting rape, incest, and sexual abuse. I would masturbate while watching.”

Shi Shu’s vision went black. Please don’t say anymore!

Shi Shu fumbled to pull the clothes nearby, his expression still calm. He turned to leave. “I think the rice is burning.”

“My psychologist said it might stem from childhood abuse or emotional neglect. Liking men, being interested in men’s lower bodies, having a strong urge to penetrate, masturbation addiction, or it might just be to get the psychological compensation missing from a certain family member.” Xie Wuchi nodded and said calmly, “The doctor also predicted I have an antisocial personality, that I might turn from fantasy to reality someday and start killing people. Serial killers of Asian descent are relatively rare.”

The voice faded behind him. Shi Shu had already run away.

No, no, no, it’s impossible, Xie Wuchi is definitely not gay, and what was that about penetrating, killing people. Okay, let’s stop this topic for today. He was in no mood to listen to someone’s self-analysis of their personality and psyche.

Shi Shu entered the room. The station attendant had finished cooking and served the food. He had also hung the clothes to dry.

The bailiffs were still playing cards. Seeing the food arrive, they put them away.

Even though Shi Shu tried to forget, the words kept swirling in his mind. A bailiff who had gotten familiar with Shi Shu, named Xu Erlang, called out to him, “Xie Erlang, time to eat. Where’s your brother? We’ll unlock your brother’s handcuffs in a bit, it’ll be more convenient.”

“…”

Maybe it’s better to keep them locked?

Shi Shu said, “Thanks.”

The eunuchs were also eating. The light was dim. After waiting for a moment, Xie Wuchi’s figure appeared at the door. He was dressed in a plain white robe, his shadow stretching long, giving him a ghostly feel. Just by his appearance, he could indeed bear many a fine reputation.

Xie Wuchi walked unhurriedly to Shi Shu’s side. Xu Erlang unlocked his handcuffs. “Lord Xie, please eat.”

If Xie Wuchi wanted to, he could probably take a knife in the middle of the night, kill these people, and dismember them. For some reason, this bloody scene appeared in Shi Shu’s mind.

Shi Shu picked up his chopsticks and didn’t look at him. “Eat.”

Xie Wuchi lowered his eyelashes, slowly moved his wrist, and picked up his chopsticks. Shi Shu had been kissed so many times by Xie Wuchi before, kissed until he was breathless, and even vaguely felt it was a bit pleasurable, but he had never felt so uncomfortable being with Xie Wuchi.

But then again, does wanting to screw men mean you’re gay?

Shi Shu thought, maybe I’m not a man.

That way, he could avoid Xie Wuchi’s orientation, right?

Never mind, just a random thought.

Shi Shu stuffed a large piece of flatbread into his mouth. He looked calm, but his heart was already dead.

A man kissing a man, and a man kissing a gay man, were two different things.

Xie Wuchi, he might just be a man who wants to screw men, not necessarily gay.

As Shi Shu chewed the bread in his mouth, his mind wandering, the figure in his peripheral vision was hard to ignore. He unconsciously shifted a little to the side, maintaining a tiny bit of distance.

Xie Wuchi’s chopsticks paused for a moment. Then, he picked up a piece of meat and bit into it.

The oil for the lamps at the station cost money. It was a waste of money. A group of people played cards until the hour of Xu, then said, “Time for bed, time for bed, we have to travel tomorrow.”

“How much is the lamp oil? I’ll cover it for now, we’ll split it tomorrow.”

“Drink less, don’t mess up the job!”

“…”

Xie Wuchi had already been handcuffed and had gone back to the room first. Shi Shu sat here watching Xu Erlang play leaf cards for a long time. He didn’t understand the game, but he just wasn’t sleepy.

“Go sleep with your brother. We have a long way to go tomorrow. It’s over seventy li to the next station. Otherwise, we’ll have to sleep on the side of the road.”

Shi Shu: “How about you guys play a little longer? I’ll pay for the lamp oil.” No, Xie Wuchi will pay.

“Go back, time for bed, time for bed.”

“…”

Shi Shu took a light breath and turned to stare at the door to the backyard. A plain wooden door, now hiding a mystery. Shi Shu hesitated before getting up. Xu Erlang asked, “What’s wrong, did you argue with your brother?”

Shi Shu: “It’s nothing, it’s nothing.”

Is he really gay or not?

Seeing that everyone had left, only two groups of guards were taking turns standing watch. Shi Shu walked upstairs with heavy steps, his brow furrowed with worry. The things he had done with Xie Wuchi couldn’t be explained in just a sentence or two. From the first kiss he was tempted into at the Mingfeng Bureau, to the frequent kisses later, several times Xie Wuchi had held his face and kissed him in a small corner. Not an ordinary kiss, but a French kiss, a wet kiss. He could still recall the sensation of his tongue licking him.

How scary.

If he was gay, then from the very beginning it wasn’t his illness acting up, he simply wanted to find someone to make out with?

And Xie Wuchi is so seductive. Yes… it should have been obvious. Would a normal man exude this kind of predatory scent towards another man?

Shi Shu pushed open the door. The room was very quiet. Was Xie Wuchi asleep? Just as he breathed a sigh of relief, he caught a glimpse of a figure sitting upright on the bed. Xie Wuchi was not asleep, but was sitting quietly in meditation.

“…”

To sit quietly means a person does nothing, just sits and empties their mind. It can clear away distracting thoughts, cultivate character, and heal mental illnesses. Ordinary people just live their lives every day; very few people would deliberately work on their character and temper their will. But Xie Wuchi was not an ordinary person.

“A person must know themselves, and control themselves.” This was something Xie Wuchi had said. Shi Shu remembered it as he lowered his head.

Shi Shu closed the door. “You’re not asleep yet?”

“Thinking about things,” Xie Wuchi said.

“Think, you can think all you want.” As long as you’re not thinking about men.

Shi Shu said, “The station master said we have to walk seventy li tomorrow. Let’s sleep early, we’ll probably have to wake up early tomorrow. I’m going to sleep first, you take your time sitting.”

Shi Shu climbed onto the bed from the foot. Although he tried not to be too obvious, he was clearly afraid of making any contact with Xie Wuchi. But it was too dark to see. The more you worry, the more likely it is to happen. Shi Shu didn’t know what he stepped on, but by the time his consciousness returned to his mind, he had bumped right into Xie Wuchi’s arms.

His wrist was caught by him. The warmth and breath were instantly transmitted to the front of his body.

“Damn it!” Shi Shu tried to retreat, but his collar was grabbed.

In the darkness, a presence approached. The bruise under Xie Wuchi’s eyelid had subsided, leaving only a faint red bloodstain, and his somewhat cold eyes, his gaze like a licking flame.

“Is it so hard to accept that I have desires for men? Shi Shu.”

Even when saying this, Xie Wuchi only had self-confidence, pride, and a calm scrutiny. He clearly didn’t think his sexual orientation was any problem for Shi Shu.

Shi Shu raised his hands. “Let go of me first. I respect it, I respect everything! Just don’t talk so close. You can be, I don’t not accept it. It’s all your freedom.”

“If you can’t accept it, you can go back to the Eastern Capital. I didn’t say I must have someone walk this road with me.”

Shi Shu sobered up instantly. “You, you’re using this to threaten me?”

Xie Wuchi turned his face away, let go, got out of bed, and walked to the window. The moonlight shone on the bridge of his nose. “In your eyes, homosexuality seems to be some kind of perversion. You’re right, I am indeed very twisted, my mind is full of sex, and I won’t change. You should leave as soon as possible.”

Shi Shu: “You’re talking about this, so just talk about this. Why bring up being gay? You just want me to go back?”

Xie Wuchi pushed the window pane open wider with one hand. “I’m just reminding you, maybe one day we’ll end up in the same bed. Isn’t that your nightmare?”

“…………”

Shi Shu: No, I feel like this orientation isn’t as annoying as he is.

Shi Shu: “I’m going to sleep. Let me digest this.”

Xie Wuchi raised his hand. “There’s some excitement, want to watch?”

Shi Shu rolled out of bed and walked to the window. “What excitement?”

“Let me show you the thing you hate the most.”

Shi Shu stood beside him, squeezed into the gap between the windows, and his gaze followed to the dark courtyard of the station. The moonlight was silvery white. A few trees were planted in the station’s backyard, as well as a vegetable garden. On the trellises climbed the withered vegetable and fruit vines that had passed through the summer.

In the rather gloomy vegetable garden, a place seldom visited, Shi Shu looked down and saw two overlapping shadows.

It was the delicate-looking young eunuch who liked to watch Xie Wuchi. His face was pressed against the wall. The other was a guard from the Imperial Guard, belonging to the escort army that followed closely behind. The two figures overlapped, moving one behind the other.

The young eunuch bit his sleeve, not daring to make a sound. Both of them had their clothes on neatly, convenient for escaping at any time. Only their pants were undone. A light blue robe was lifted, and something seemed to be connected between them.

The two of them were bent over, the young eunuch pressed down. A guard is a guard, strong.

Shi Shu only glanced once and turned away. “You walk on the road every day, seemingly in exile, but in fact, your eyes don’t miss a single person?”

Xie Wuchi: “Things I glance at, I temporarily won’t forget.”

“Don’t look, it’s their private business.”

Shi Shu closed the window and pulled Xie Wuchi over too. For some reason, he always felt that if you watch too much of this kind of thing, you’ll get a stye. He was afraid Xie Wuchi would get one too.

However, just as he pulled him over, he remembered this was a gay man, and his hand immediately let go.

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