UCTOOT CH42

“Medical Bureau,” Xie Wuchi repeated, his face expressionless.

“In Shukang Prefecture, Lin Yangchun and I became friends. I don’t know much about treating patients, but I can help with inventory, purchasing, and moving medicinal herbs. This way, Xie Wuchi, don’t overthink it.”

Shi Shu had always been straightforward. “For two hot-blooded men like us, it’s good to calm down and keep some distance. Even blood brothers should sleep in separate rooms, let alone the two of us.”

Xie Wuchi’s eyes were dark. “Oh?”

Shi Shu had always been one to speak his mind, and he took the initiative to lay things bare. “I remember everything that happened that night. I’ve also thought a lot these past few days. You showing me your tattoo, there’s nothing wrong with that. But I think you’re very open about relationships, and also very casual—I’m not talking about you. Much more open than me. I’m just afraid it won’t be good if this continues, especially since your self-control isn’t great either. What if one day we cross the line?”

Xie Wuchi’s gaze refocused. “Cross the line, what do you mean?”

“It means me taking advantage of you, like touching you that night.”

Shi Shu coughed and said seriously, “You’re very open because you have that addiction, and the education you received since childhood is different from mine. But I don’t. I’m healthier. I can’t take advantage of someone’s vulnerability, but I also can’t indulge you. For example, your habit of randomly kissing people. To this day, I still can’t figure you out. It seems you can’t be defined as just gay. It seems even scarier than that concept.”

Xie Wuchi did not speak.

“In short—” Shi Shu prepared his closing statement.

“From now on, we’ll sleep separately to reduce the chance of accidents.”

Xie Wuchi’s brow rose sharply. He seemed to smile. “You touched me. Who exactly is at a disadvantage?”

Shi Shu, without a doubt, said, “I touched you, of course it’s you! What disadvantage could I possibly be at?”

“So it’s me at a disadvantage?”

“Pretty much,” Shi Shu said. “I really don’t know what disadvantage I’d be at.”

Hearing this, Xie Wuchi’s whole body seemed to become agitated. His voice grew hoarse. “Shi Shu, you—”

“???” Shi Shu’s defenses broke. “What are you trying to say!”

Xie Wuchi stared at him. Perhaps it was Shi Shu’s illusion, but his gaze turned sensual. His dark brows pressed down on his eyes, and that gaze, as it fell on Shi Shu, had a feeling of being in heat, as if stimulated by that sentence.

Shi Shu spoke out, utterly baffled, “Hey! Xie Wuchi! What are you doing?”

Xie Wuchi said in a hoarse voice, “It’s good to sleep in separate rooms. You don’t need to tidy up this room for now. The King of Liang’s residence is preparing for the King’s birthday. The Crown Prince has returned to the King’s residence to stay temporarily. I need to pack my luggage and stay at the King’s residence for a few days.”

Only then did Shi Shu react. “When did this happen?”

“The King of Liang’s fiftieth birthday. The emperor will personally visit for three days. The King of Liang’s residence has been preparing for two years to await this honor. The vermilion lacquer has been repainted, the red and white plaster renewed, and new pavilions and towers have been built for opera and dance performances. It’s a time when many people are needed. I will go over to supervise and advise.” After speaking, Xie Wuchi turned and entered the wing-room. “I’m packing a few clothes. Don’t come in.”

“You’re packing clothes, why can’t I come in?!”

Shi Shu rolled up his sleeves, utterly bewildered. The handsome young man’s eyes stared at the courtyard, full of confusion.

“Xie Wuchi!”

But inside the room, separated by a wall, Xie Wuchi’s heart was agitated and restless. His heart was beating at a high frequency, something that previously only happened after he exercised.

A familiar sense of pain. It hurt.

The compartment where the wardrobe stood was pitch black. As heat rolled out from his throat, that manic voice kept saying: Crazy! Crazy! Crazy! Crazy…

So this is the kind of person you like?

The body craves an embrace, but it doesn’t understand what love is.

Crazy, abnormal, abnormal, disgusting, disgusting…

Disgusting… psycho!

His consciousness was sinking, but his mind was extremely clear, so clear that his brain ached with numbness, memories rewinding. The psychologist’s warnings repeatedly flooded his mind.

When he thought of Shi Shu’s face, a taut pain shot through his spine. His well-defined collarbones trembled. That tall, strong body, every cell was desperately craving the warmth of an embrace.

Xie Wuchi’s sexy, mesmerized eyes lowered. He raised his hand and bit his wrist bone like a wolf hunting its prey. A clear, sharp pain shot through—

Suddenly, stimulated, he closed his eyes, and heat escaped from his handsome, clear face.

“Ah…”

Gasping for breath: Psycho…

The blood from his wrist was warm. Xie Wuchi leaned his back against the cold wardrobe, panting, his muscles tensed to the point of pain.

After a moment, he wiped the beads of sweat from his straight nose. His eyes returned to their cold, dark state. He adjusted his mentality and emotions and walked out the door.

Shi Shu was packing on the bed, his young back full of vitality. Xie Wuchi went to the well in the courtyard to draw water for a bath. It was very cold.

Just as he changed his clothes, someone came to the gate of Liushui Nunnery. “Councilor, the Crown Prince asks if you are busy. The imperial meal for His Majesty needs to be discussed. Please go directly to the King of Liang’s residence.”

Shi Shu walked out the door and saw Xie Wuchi, dressed in a serene and elegant manner, with a hint of dark circles under his eyes. He nodded calmly. “Alright, I’ll be there right away.”

Turning back, Shi Shu chased after him. “You’re leaving today? Why so hasty?”

“I’ll leave the bed for you so you don’t have to clean again. I heard what you said. I’ll think about it too. I’ll be free in a few days. I’ll come back to see you.”

After saying this, Xie Wuchi gave his package to the attendant holding the lantern. His figure moved straight ahead, illuminated by the lantern, and disappeared into the peach blossom forest of Liushui Nunnery.

Shi Shu: “???”

Did I say you could go! Come back!

Shi Shu picked up a bone from the dog bowl and threw it. “Laifu, go get him!”

Laifu wagged its tail, confused. “Woof woof woof! Woof woof woof!”

“Forget it.” Shi Shu squatted down, propping up his chin, and stared at the deserted courtyard with a sigh. “Hmph, whatever you want, Mr. Busy. I have my own new life anyway.”

At the Crown Prince’s residence’s medical bureau, Shi Shu stood in front of the shelves in the warehouse. When he dragged out a pile of medicinal herbs, the rising dust made him cough several times.

“Cough, cough, cough! Cough, cough… how long has this been here?”

Behind him, Lin Yangchun’s apprentice, Lin Baihe, peeked over. “Oh, old stock that’s been piled up for a few years. The weather has been good recently, so let’s take it all out to dry.”

Upon careful inspection, Shi Shu saw a large bag of bupleurum that had long since rotted and was no longer usable for medicine. He couldn’t help but recall Shukang Prefecture. “When the local people were sick, there was no medicine to use. So many people were looking on anxiously, yet the Crown Prince’s residence has so much medicine stored up, all rotten!”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” Lin Baihe said. “Even if the whole world runs out of this stuff, the Crown Prince’s and King’s residences will still have it. Otherwise, how could it be a sign of favor and wealth?”

Shi Shu: “The evils of feudalism.”

“What did you say?”

“You wouldn’t understand even if I told you, and I’d get my head chopped off.”

Shi Shu placed the medicinal herbs on a round bamboo tray to dry in the sun. Lin Baihe packed up a box of medicine and said, “Let’s go, to the King of Liang’s residence.”

Shi Shu suddenly thought of Xie Wuchi. “What are we going to the King of Liang’s residence for?”

“The old King of Liang’s birthday is approaching. The residence is as busy as a spinning top right now. People coming to offer birthday wishes, to be introduced… masters, mistresses, and servants, there must be thousands of people busy inside. With so many people, there are bound to be headaches, fevers, and diarrhea, right? The medical bureau over there can’t handle it. Whenever there’s a festival, they have to borrow us.”

Shi Shu also picked up a medicine box. “So that’s how it is.”

Lin Baihe was about the same age as Shi Shu. The two of them went out together. The King of Liang’s residence and the Crown Prince’s residence were separated by a street, a few minutes’ walk. The magnificent golden gate of the King of Liang’s residence came into view.

Sure enough, people were coming and going at the gate of this residence, socializing and bustling with activity. Even the guards looked down their noses at people.

“Where are you from?”

“From the Crown Prince’s residence’s medical bureau.”

“Go on in.”

After entering the gate, Shi Shu looked left and right. “The King of Liang’s residence is even bigger than the Crown Prince’s?”

“Of course. He’s the current emperor’s biological father.”

As Shi Shu walked, he saw lanterns and colored streamers on both sides of the road. The tree branches were trimmed into shapes, the red gates and embroidered households were freshly painted bright and vibrant, and pavilions and towers were hidden one after another. The servants and maids coming and going were all wearing new clothes, their eyes higher than their heads. In comparison, it did have a different kind of vitality and grandeur.

Shi Shu said lazily, “Truly remarkable.”

“It could have been even more remarkable! It’s just that our King is a ‘harmonious’ smiling king. He knows nothing when asked. Every day he just plays cards with his several wives and never asks about political affairs. If you ask, he just shakes his head and says he doesn’t know, he doesn’t know. An honest man! This grandeur is still a bit short of the Empress Dowager’s several uncles and nephews.”

As Shi Shu walked and looked, when they passed the opera garden, Lin Baihe poked him in the arm. “Isn’t that Councilor Xie?”

Shi Shu turned around and indeed saw Xie Wuchi in a light green long robe standing in the crowd. Next to him was the Crown Prince, Chu Wei, and also a eunuch in red. The three of them were looking at a list of comedies. The owner of the opera troupe stood nearby, looking at the three of them with an apprehensive expression.

Xie Wuchi was tall with long legs, standing out prominently in the crowd. He looked away and handed the program to the eunuch.

“Eunuch Zhou, please have a look.”

“Aiyo!” the eunuch said in a high-pitched voice, bowing as he took it. “For the King of Liang’s birthday, His Majesty will be present in person. The atmosphere should be joyous and harmonious. A few filial piety plays will do. Things like ‘Shi Kong Zhan’ and ‘The Generals of the Yang Family,’ anything related to political affairs should be avoided.”

The Crown Prince said coldly, “What, are you afraid this Crown Prince will slip in something and report to His Majesty?”

“I am wronged! It’s just that His Majesty deals with court affairs every day and is exhausted. It’s a rare occasion for him to return to the residence. Let’s not disturb His Majesty’s eyes and ears with political trifles.” Eunuch Zhou wiped the sweat from his forehead. “This is also the meaning of Eunuch Feng and Consort Yu, to share His Majesty’s worries.”

The Crown Prince suddenly laughed. “That is natural. It is a rare occasion for my imperial brother to leave the palace. How could I disturb his leisure with political and worldly affairs? Let’s remove these few plays!”

The opera troupe owner hurriedly responded, “Yes!”

After Eunuch Zhou finished speaking, he was still afraid it wasn’t handled properly. “Besides looking at the opera garden, the proposals for the other viewing gardens, listening to music by the lotus pond, and dining, please also have Your Highness the Crown Prince show this servant around.”

The Crown Prince showed his displeasure and said, “Those who know would say this is a king’s residence. Those who don’t would think it’s a den of you eunuchs!”

“Aiyo, this is too much for this servant, Your Highness the Crown Prince—”

“Alright, alright, I’m just joking with you.” The Crown Prince smiled and patted his shoulder. “Let’s go. I’ll take you to the food service department to have a look.”

He put his arm around Eunuch Zhou and walked away, giving Xie Wuchi a look that only the two of them understood. Xie Wuchi’s face was calm. He looked at the newly written list of plays and handed it back to the owner.

Just as he looked up, he saw Shi Shu under the shade of a tree not far away.

Lin Baihe was still pulling him and speaking in a low voice, “You don’t know! Since ancient times, people who want to get a word to the emperor have put all their effort into food, clothing, housing, and transportation. This group of damned eunuchs has done all sorts of bad things and are terribly afraid of being reported, so they are guarding against it very tightly!”

“So that’s how it is, no wonder.”

Shi Shu carried his medicine box, his whole body appearing fair and translucent under the sun. He met Xie Wuchi’s gaze. “Mr. Busy, what are you looking at?”

Xie Wuchi glanced at Lin Baihe. Someone from the Crown Prince’s side was urging him on. He said nothing, turned around, and his figure brushed past the railing and gradually disappeared.

Shi Shu was utterly baffled. He and Lin Baihe arrived at the medical bureau.

The King’s residence was crowded and bustling, and sure enough, there were many sick people. As Shi Shu was busy picking out medicine, a burst of fresh and melodious laughter suddenly came from the medical bureau, seeping through from under the treetops.

“Aiya, I haven’t even finished my work for today, and I’m suddenly called to the medical bureau.”

“It’s a delay. I still have to go back and work.”

“I told you I was clean, but you still don’t believe me…”

Shi Shu, holding a medicine basket, passed through the central hall and happened to see an older matron leading several young and beautiful maids over, laughing as they walked.

The matron, with her hands clasped, reprimanded sternly, “Frivolous and unrestrained, your behavior is unbecoming. It’s fine here with me. If you’re still so unruly in front of Consort Yu and get your mouth slapped, don’t cry.”

Seeing that they were girls, Shi Shu quickly ran away. He heard this group enter another room.

Lin Baihe stepped through the door, his face full of smiles. “You boy, you’re in for a treat this afternoon.”

Shi Shu: “What’s wrong?”

“These are the most beautiful maids in the King’s residence. I saw them when they came to the residence to help out at the beginning of last year. The one who looks like a little cat is called Cui Xiu—”

Shi Shu threw the weeds from the astragalus out. “What are they here for?”

“I just overheard a bit. They are all chosen to serve Consort Yu. The emperor’s most favored consort. He usually keeps her by his side and cannot be without her for a day. He’s bringing her back to the residence this time. This Consort Yu doesn’t have many hobbies, she just loves…”

Shi Shu couldn’t stand him dragging it out. “Loves what, just say it. Why are you winking?”

“Loves handsome men! But you know how things are in the palace. Even touching a eunuch is a death sentence. So she often has beautiful palace maids dress up as men to play cards with her every day.”

“These pretty girls are all chosen to play with her?”

“Yes.”

Shi Shu said, “Are they willing?”

“For glory and wealth, of course they are willing. For example, with your looks, if someone gave you money and asked you to play with a man, would you be willing?”

Shi Shu said lazily, “Hmph, I really wouldn’t. A thousand pieces of gold can’t buy my happiness.”

“That’s because you haven’t suffered. After you’ve suffered, you’d even eat shit.”

Shi Shu lowered his head and actually thought about it carefully. If he went back to the modern world, the only one who could throw money at him like it was paper was Xie Wuchi. Thinking about it carefully, if it were for glory and wealth, to let Xie Wuchi hold him, kiss him, touch him, and lick him every day, he might even have to say a few sweet nothings to please him, call him “hubby” or something.

Accepting Xie Wuchi’s body temperature, embrace, and then kissing his tattoo according to his preference. After Xie Wuchi had his fun and left him all dirty, he would then throw money at him with that look he gives to dogs, and banknotes would fly around—

“………………”

Shi Shu’s whole body shuddered, and he suddenly let out a miserable scream. “Damn! I’m not willing! How scary!”

“If you’re not willing, you’re not willing. Why are you shouting so loudly!” Lin Baihe was startled.

Shi Shu: “…”

In the afternoon, this group of maids who had finished their physical examination were taken away. As dusk fell, Shi Shu helped Lin Baihe stack the last basket of medicinal herbs onto the shelf. Just as he sat down to wipe the sweat from his forehead, a figure walked over from not far away.

The night was dark. This figure was tall with long legs, wearing a satin robe that was very pleasing to the eye, proper and dignified, spotless. Seeing that it was Xie Wuchi, Shi Shu asked, “Why are you here?”

“To pick you up and go back. Is the work done? Have you had dinner?”

Seeing Shi Shu shake his head, Xie Wuchi said in a faint voice, “Come here.”

Only when they were far away did he say, “Your medical bureau is so good, they don’t even give you dinner?”

Shi Shu: “It’s not that they don’t give it, it’s just not time yet. Besides, I’m not very hungry.”

Following him all the way, through the low treetops and winding corridors, in about three to five minutes, a newly renovated courtyard appeared before them. People were coming and going. Xie Wuchi led the way. From time to time, people in expensive clothes would nod to Xie Wuchi. “Councilor Xie.”

Until he pushed open a door. A spacious room. “Go in.”

Shi Shu: “You’re staying here at the King’s residence?”

“Mm.” As Xie Wuchi spoke, a servant came forward, set up a table, and brought the dishes one by one, lifting the lids to reveal steaming hot food.

Shi Shu: “Thank you.”

He let Shi Shu eat. Someone delivered a document and stood by his side with lowered hands. “The list of guests for the Green Water Pavilion, selected to compose poetry for His Majesty. Their names, brief biographies, and their eight characters for any clashes, please have a look, Councilor.”

Xie Wuchi: “You may go out first.”

The servant bowed and retreated outside the door.

Xie Wuchi lowered his eyes to look at the name list by the lamplight. The flickering light reflected in his deep-set eyes. He leaned his back against a cushion, and his whole person was shrouded in a somewhat gloomy and unpredictable air. Shi Shu ate his soup and couldn’t help but ask, “To appreciate the lotus flowers with His Majesty, you even have to check if there are any taboos in the eight characters?”

Xie Wuchi: “His Majesty was born in the year of the Goat. Those born in the year of the Rat, Dog, or Ox cannot be seen, otherwise His Majesty will be displeased.”

Shi Shu almost clapped. “First time I’ve heard of that.”

“The wealthier a person is, the more they believe in feng shui and fate. When wealth reaches a certain level, they no longer look at ability, only at fate. If it’s in your fate, you have it. If it’s not in your fate, you don’t.” Xie Wuchi turned to the next page, his voice indifferent. “Feng Lu has His Majesty surrounded like a barrel. It’s hard to find even a crack.”

Shi Shu recalled what Lin Baihe had said. “Are you all preparing to convey something to His Majesty on this occasion?”

“‘Heaven’s Hearing,’ to reach the emperor’s ear. Thunder, rain, and dew are all the monarch’s grace. It’s a good thing if the emperor can hear it, but this ladder to heaven is guarded by Feng Lu, cutting off the path for others. It’s hard to find an opportunity.”

Xie Wuchi placed the finished name list on the red lacquer table beside him.

Shi Shu took a sip of the bamboo fungus and coconut chicken soup. “So amazing!”

“When are you going back to Liushui Nunnery tonight?”

Shi Shu: “I’ll be busy until midnight.”

“Midnight. The yin energy is extremely heavy at night. There are few guests at the Crown Prince’s residence now. It’s not good for you to stay there alone.” Xie Wuchi picked up a pair of chopsticks and put some food in Shi Shu’s bowl. “Just sleep here with me.”

Shi Shu: “That’s not okay!”

There were boiled white prawns among the dishes. Xie Wuchi wiped his hands clean with a hot, damp cloth, peeled one, and placed it on the plate in front of Shi Shu, making Shi Shu’s eyes see stars. “Bro, don’t spoil me like this!”

Xie Wuchi: “What’s wrong?”

Shi Shu buried his head. “I have to say a few words to you. That habit of yours is not good.”

Xie Wuchi’s dark eyes looked at him, seeming to remember something. “Mm.”

“Kissing people at every turn, and kissing so stickily. Taking off your pants for people to see, and even letting others touch your leg! This problem must be solved.” Shi Shu’s face was red as he said this.

“You’ve changed.”

Xie Wuchi: “You don’t like it?”

Shi Shu suddenly couldn’t bear it anymore. “What does it have to do with whether I like it or not? This is your own body. Or is it that you just like kissing people, and taking off your pants for anyone you meet to see? Bro, do you like being so lewd? Hmm?!”

“…”

After Shi Shu’s burst of fire, he didn’t realize the other connotation of his words at all.

A lump rolled in Xie Wuchi’s throat. He squinted his eyes slightly, pulled at his collar, and smiled. “Lewd, huh?”

“It is lewd! You! How! Are you! So! Lewd!!!”

Xie Wuchi lowered his eyes, seeming very pleased. “Anything else?”

“Do you take them off for just anyone!”

“I don’t take them off for just anyone. I only showed you, and I’ve only kissed you. Want to check?”

Shi Shu felt like he was being led astray. “No! Wait, that’s not what I wanted to say! Who wants to check you! In short, I really can’t sleep with you recently.”

“Then you sleep here. I’ll have them tidy up another room. I want you within my line of sight. I’m not at ease with you sleeping alone in a deserted courtyard.”

Xie Wuchi picked up some food. His well-defined fingers were stained with a dark light. His face was very cold. When he had no expression, he had an indifferent sense of distance from people, giving rise to a self-possessed control over everything.

Shi Shu: “Let me think about it.”

“You can’t find a reason to refuse.”

Xie Wuchi placed the prayer beads on the lacquer table and turned his head to look at him. “If you don’t agree, I won’t be happy.”

__

Author’s Note:

 Little Shi Shu: You like being so lewd? Hmm? Speak!
Little Shi Shu: You slut!
Little Shi Shu: So you love taking them off?!
Little Shi Shu: You like it when people touch your tattoo, right? (a round of straight-guy questioning)
Sex-Addict Bro: Being scolded feels good. Good. So good I could die.

This chapter is actually Shameless Bro’s first time getting off thinking about Little Shi Shu. Who knows how many more times he’ll have to do it himself in the future.

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