UCTOOT CH19.1

The sounds of the four eunuchs searching and rummaging continued. Someone said, “There’s a low wall here. Could he have escaped from here?”

“Should we still chase?”

“Of course, we have to chase! We’ve already alerted the snake in the grass. If we let him escape and he alerts the Prince, we won’t be able to kill him! We have to kill him first and report later, only then will Godfather’s anger be appeased!”

The sounds heard through the film of water were unclear, muffled and dull. Shi Shu found it hard to think, and even harder to understand the meaning of the pressure on his lips. He kept his eyes open in the water. As the air entered his mouth, his tongue connected with something warm.

Warm, wet, it was almost the only source of heat.

That breath of air had helped him. Xie Wuchi had saved his life, but he didn’t understand why their tongues had collided so fiercely. Was it because of the perilous situation underwater, making it uncontrollable? It was so fast, maybe only half a second of sucking and licking, it was impossible to tell if it was accidental or intentional.

“Splash—cough, cough, cough!”

The sounds from the water’s surface disappeared. Shi Shu suddenly broke the surface, his arms draped over the bank as he gasped for breath! He greedily sucked fresh air into his lungs, coughing violently, expelling all the stuffiness from his throat.

He looked back, his breath as faint as a thread. “Xie Wuchi, you… how did you get here? You’re still in the water…”

Xie Wuchi pushed back his wet, dark hair, water droplets trickling down from his lips. “I woke up and you were gone. Given your tendency to be overly enthusiastic, I guessed you went to buy medicine for me. I asked at the gatehouse and it was true, but the pharmacy is very close, yet you didn’t come back for a long time. I asked around on the street, and they said they saw someone being chased into this alley. I came, and I’ve been following you.”

Shi Shu said, “I don’t know who they were… They said I was colluding with the Yuan Guan family…”

“They’re from the Cage House. Xiangnan Temple is colluding with the powerful eunuch Feng Lu. The Cage House is also called the ‘Singing Phoenix Bureau,’ a secret service agency managed by Feng Lu, responsible for arrests and interrogations, with the authority to execute first and report later. It has practically become Feng Lu’s personal torture chamber for eliminating his opponents, known as the murderous Cage House.”

Shi Shu couldn’t hear clearly what Xie Wuchi was saying. His mind was muddled. It seemed to be something very bad. Shi Shu tried to climb onto the bank, but his waterlogged clothes were as heavy and damp as skin. As if being dragged down by a water ghost, after a few steps, he suddenly collapsed to the ground.

“Hiss… it hurts so much!”

Shi Shu looked at the patch of blue sky visible from the alley entrance. His back hit the ground, and a sharp pain shot through his wounds. He rolled over and knelt, sucking in a breath.

His forehead rested on the ground, and he smelled the scent of the earth. “So tired…”

So sleepy…

His calves were cramping. After getting out of the water, the evaporation took away his body heat, and the chill made him shiver. “So cold… Does your stomach not hurt anymore?”

Remembering something, Shi Shu took a white porcelain bottle from his pocket, his fingers stained with blood. “I bought you stomach medicine… see if it got wet…”

In an instant, Xie Wuchi’s brow furrowed, his expression cracking. He had never shown such an expression before. He squatted down in front of Shi Shu. “We need to leave quickly. If those people can’t find you after they leave, they’ll come back.”

“What?” Shi Shu tried to stand up, propping himself on his knees, but the feeling of exhaustion was just like after an intense workout, his legs felt light and empty.

“I’ll carry you.”

Shi Shu said, “No, no, I’m just a little dizzy, I don’t know why…”

He couldn’t see, but Xie Wuchi, squinting, could see clearly. He was soaked to the bone, the bloodstains on his fair arms and back diluted by the water, and fresh blood was seeping through his torn clothes. “You’ve exhausted your stamina and you’re injured, plus you soaked in cold water until you lost body heat. Of course, you’re dizzy. Get on, be good.”

“I haven’t been carried by anyone since middle school, I’m not used to it…” Shi Shu draped himself over his back. “Am I heavy… Bro, you’re not feeling well either, if you can’t carry me, just forget it.”

Xie Wuchi said, “My mind is tired, but my mouth is still awake.”

“…”

Shi Shu’s hair was pitch black, the ends brushing against the spinous process of Xie Wuchi’s neck. His breathing was shallow, like a chirping bird. His arms rested on Xie Wuchi’s shoulders, his lips close to the back of his ear.

“The Cage House you mentioned, is it a government office?”

“Yes and no. There used to be the Yiluan Bureau, but it was later abandoned. Five years ago, the Singing Phoenix Bureau was established, becoming Feng Lu’s mouthpiece and claws. Pei Wenqing’s father was beaten to death by the eunuchs of the Singing Phoenix Bureau. In recent years, the court has used it to supervise officials and carry out assassination missions.”

Shi Shu’s chest felt heavy. “Is Feng Lu not a good person?”

Xie Wuchi replied, “Value judgments of good and bad are very childish.”

“…” Shi Shu lay silently on his back, not speaking, it was unclear if he was just tired.

The street was dark under a crescent moon. Xie Wuchi carried him out, mindful of the eunuchs’ location. Fortunately, the thick night provided cover as they walked to the gate of the Prince’s residence.

Step by step, they passed through the green leaves of the peach trees. Xie Wuchi’s back was broad and he never stopped. The skin-to-skin contact generated warmth.

Shi Shu’s almond eyes widened. “Xie Wuchi?”

Xie Wuchi asked, “What is it?”

“That giving me air underwater, who did you learn that from?”

Xie Wuchi replied, “Romance movies.”

Shi Shu said, “I didn’t expect it to actually work? I almost couldn’t catch my breath just now. That puff of air you blew immediately cleared my head.”

Xie Wuchi asked, “Are you feeling better now?”

“Still very tired,” Shi Shu recalled the scene in the water, then patted him on the shoulder. “Good thing you’re a guy, my first kiss is still intact.”

There was a brief moment of silence in the air.

Xie Wuchi asked, “Who told you kissing a guy doesn’t count as a kiss?”

“It counts as a first kiss even with a guy?!”

“Yes, your first kiss is gone. Also—”

The trees were dense, the path was dim. Xie Wuchi said, “When I was giving you air, you stuck your tongue out.”

“What? Impossible!” Shi Shu shifted abruptly on his back. “Me? I stuck it out? I was about to say! It was clearly you who stuck it out, you even licked me!”

“I don’t remember. How did I lick you?”

“Just…”

Shi Shu’s hazy mind cleared. The process of his lips being covered suddenly became vivid: his jaw being held and caressed, his eyes lowered in a kissing posture. Xie Wuchi held his face, and while blowing air into his mouth, his tongue stirred inside, catching the tip of Shi Shu’s tongue and sucking on it.

The wet feeling of his tongue being sucked was extremely clear. Once he recalled it, his mouth instantly went soft.

“!!!!!!!!!!”

A rush of heat went to Shi Shu’s head, and his face turned completely red. “It was you who licked me! Xie Wuchi, you motherf—”

Xie Wuchi said, “I really have no impression of it. It was urgent underwater, the space in our mouths was limited, and you were about to drown.”

“Really?”

Shi Shu fidgeted on his back like a roly-poly toy. He couldn’t calm down, but he was bluffed by that sentence. He quieted down, resting his face on Xie Wuchi’s shoulder, his expression grave as he closed his eyes and tried to remember seriously.

Was it really an accident? Think carefully.

What if he had wronged him?

The scene replayed in his mind: the pressure when his lips were covered, the breath flowing in, and then, a tongue moving in his mouth like a snake, hot and wet, stirring against his own tongue, gently licking.

It wasn’t a normal touch of tongues. It was an indescribable kind of licking, hard to describe, just that he was being pressed down as if he could be eaten through the kiss, a feast being savored. It was like his mouth was a sweet jam being licked with infatuation, not a single corner missed, licking until his mouth was wet and soft enough to melt.

Shi Shu’s consciousness was blurry underwater and he didn’t understand, but thinking about it carefully now…

“No, you did lick me! I’m very sure!” Shi Shu exploded, a wave of nameless emotion washing over him. He wanted to hit someone but didn’t know where to hit.

He bit down on his shoulder, his voice instantly muffled as if covered by a blanket.

“Xie—Wu—Ci—! You stuck out your tongue! You’re not human! I’ll bite you to death!”

“…”

The night wind blew gently, the courtyard was quiet. The two cripples finally returned to their yard.

Under the eaves of the courtyard was a bamboo recliner. Xie Wuchi supported Shi Shu’s waist with his arm and helped him sit down, trying to avoid his wounds. However, his body was not still, and when Shi Shu lay down, he sucked in a breath and closed his eyes.

“You’ve made my wounds burst open from anger, how are you going to compensate me.”

Xie Wuchi seemed to chuckle. He squatted down and adjusted the seat behind him. Shi Shu felt a tightening behind his knees and lower back, and his whole body suddenly felt light. He was lifted into a princess carry by Xie Wuchi, who added a cushion before placing him back on the chair.

Huh? Unlocked two achievements in one night: being kissed by a guy and being princess-carried by a guy?

“………………”

It happened so quickly that Shi Shu was rendered completely silent, not even having time to retort.

When he finally reacted, Shi Shu tried to sit up. “What are you doing!”

“Alright, stop fooling around for now. Health is important. You’re not clean, your clothes are all wet, and the river water is dirty. I’ll wipe you down first.” Xie Wuchi said it as if he were going to clean a cloth doll.

Shi Shu asked, “You’re going to help me bathe?”

“Yes, there’s still hot water in the pot. The river is full of parasites.”

“Parasites? Fine, we’ll argue about it later.”

“We’ll wash in the courtyard. I’ll turn away. You wipe your private parts clean and put on pants first. I’ll take care of your injured back.”

A stove was also lit, heating water and providing warmth from the fire at the same time. Warmth instantly enveloped them. Shi Shu frowned. “Out here in the open?”

“This is considered the open? The courtyard gate is locked, no one can see. This is the only environment in ancient times.” Xie Wuchi came out from inside and handed Shi Shu a pair of clean pants. “Wash quickly, or you’ll be waiting for a cold and fever tomorrow, and that’s the best-case scenario.”

“I give up.” Shi Shu agreed, undressing to wash.

His own life skills were a bit poor, but Xie Wuchi had a strong sense of control over his life and could lead him to live well.

Xie Wuchi turned his back. Shi Shu took off his pants. His skin was wrinkled from the water, and it didn’t feel smooth to the touch.

Shi Shu focused on washing the slippery, sticky river water from between his legs and his chest. Directly in front of him, Xie Wuchi also poured half a basin of water, and then, right by the well, he drew up a bucket of water and poured the cold water over himself.

Shi Shu blinked.

There was such a sport as winter swimming in the world. For people who exercised regularly, the shock of cold water was not as great as for ordinary people.

Half of Xie Wuchi’s body was hidden in the darkness. Shi Shu saw him toss his clothes aside and naturally turned his head away, much like how he would avert his gaze when his roommates were showering.

However, halfway through, Shi Shu lifted his face again.

The moonlight was faint, its cool glow hitting his shoulders and body. The color wasn’t clear, only the silhouette of a human body could be seen. It was very dark all around, and very close to the place where the person had hanged themself.

Shi Shu couldn’t help but recall his desperation underwater. He hadn’t imagined anyone would come to help him, but Xie Wuchi often appeared when he was needed.

He was truly grateful for the appearance of this modern person, so he was no longer alone.

Shi Shu thought of something. “Xie Wuchi, when I was hiding in the water vat, were you the one who threw that stone to lure them away?”

“Yes.” The voice was neither close nor far.

Shi Shu said, “Ahem, I want to say.”

Xie Wuchi asked, “What is it?”

Shi Shu said, “I haven’t thanked you yet. Thank you.”

Xie Wuchi was quiet for a moment, then said, “You’re welcome.”

So cool, so cocky.

“Are you done washing? I’m coming over.”

Xie Wuchi picked up the dry clothes by the well and put them on. His wet hair stuck to his earlobes. He threw a cloth into the half-basin of hot water and walked over to the bare-chested Shi Shu.

Seeing Shi Shu’s fair chest, he averted his gaze and took the cloth around to his back.

“I’m done.” Shi Shu raised his hands.

Breath tickled the back of his ear. Xie Wuchi was right there, his gaze meticulous, carefully wiping the stickiness from his skin. He wiped it completely three times before nodding.

“You go lie on the bed first to get your body temperature back. I’ll go find a doctor.”

In the dead of night, the Prince’s residence doctor, Lin Yangchun, arrived carrying a medicine box.

Lin Yangchun, a famous doctor of the Great Jing, had once served as an imperial physician in the Imperial Medical Academy. After retiring, he was hired by the Prince to work in the residence. He was not as arrogant as other famous doctors who only treated high-ranking officials and nobles. As long as he was free, he would treat whoever came to him first, be it a cook, a peddler, or a laborer. He also treated the servants and maids in the Prince’s residence, and only charged for the medicine, never overcharging.

A gaunt, middle-aged man in his forties, with a long, thin face, entered the room.

“Please take off your clothes,” Lin Yangchun said.

Shi Shu did as he was told and took off his clothes.

“There are many wounds, and they have been soaked in water. You might get tetanus. Apply the medicine first. I have some herbs to prepare. Is this your brother? I’ll trouble you to apply the medicine for him.”

Lin Yangchun opened his medicine box by the candlelight, took out a bottle of ointment and handed it to Xie Wuchi, while he himself took out a few sheets of paper and began to pick out herbs one by one.

Shi Shu grabbed the medicine bottle. “I’ll do it myself.”

Lin Yangchun said, “The ointment needs to be rubbed into the wounds. Don’t be afraid of the pain. Did you clean the wounds just now?”

“I did.”

There was a lamp, and the light shone on a fair shoulder. The skin below the collarbone, which had been washed clean by Xie Wuchi, was as smooth as white jade. Xie Wuchi took the Baohe Pills with warm water, the bitter taste of the crushed pills seeping out and dissipating between his lips and teeth.

He was in the shadows, watching Shi Shu’s every move.

The wounds were gruesome, all long, thin gashes, branching out across his skin. Shi Shu used his fingertips to scoop up the ointment and smear it on the wounds. The ones on his arms were manageable, but when it came to his back and waist, he couldn’t reach.

Xie Wuchi said, “If you need me, just say so. I’m right here.”

Shi Shu tried. “I can’t reach my back.”

Xie Wuchi came over and took the ointment. “Lie down.”

Shi Shu asked, “Lie down for what?”

Xie Wuchi’s gaze moved away from Shi Shu’s chest and he repeated, “Lie down, back facing up.”

Shi Shu scratched his head, then turned over and lay down on the couch, hugging a blanket under him.

After he lay down, his back was completely exposed. Xie Wuchi dipped his fingers in the ointment and applied the cool substance to his waist and back. Lin Yangchun also spoke, “The ordination certificate from Xiangnan Temple, was it you who retrieved it?”

Xie Wuchi said, “You overstate it. My contribution was limited.”

Lin Yangchun laughed heartily. “You’re capable, and handsome too. I finally got to see you in person today. You’re much better than that bunch of sycophantic retainers in the Prince’s residence!”

Xie Wuchi lowered his gaze.

Shi Shu’s entire back was smooth, with a dip along his spine. Having exercised with his dad since he was young, his physique was extremely upright and healthy, with the standard beauty of a well-formed skeleton. His classmates in medical school and art school had even said he was very suitable for dissection, his structure was too beautiful.

Shi Shu listened to him apply the medicine and turned his head to look at Lin Yangchun. Although his own knowledge was limited, he understood the principle of not exposing others’ shortcomings. This Imperial Physician Lin seemed to be a bit of an angry youth himself.

“Your brother, Xie Shishu, his physique is not as robust as yours, but his pulse is clear, lively, powerful, cheerful, and distinct.”

Lin Yangchun glanced at Xie Wuchi. “As for you, when I took your pulse just now, although your body is strong, your pulse is heavy with yin and stagnant, unfathomably deep. You must often overexert your mind, and… there’s also a dark, frantic energy in your body.”

Shi Shu asked, “A dark and frantic energy?”

“Precisely. But fortunately, you exercise daily and are strong and healthy, which can supply blood to your brain and also suppress the evil energy in your body.”

Shi Shu said, “What a divine doctor! He can even tell that he practices martial arts every day.”

Xie Wuchi pressed lightly with his finger, right on the dimple of Shi Shu’s lower back. Shi Shu exclaimed, “Ouch,” and immediately went limp from the ticklishness, burying his head in the pillow.

Xie Wuchi asked, “What is your opinion, Doctor Lin?”

His fingertips circled on Shi Shu’s smooth skin, grinding. That patch of fair skin was smooth and delicate, especially after applying the ointment, it became slick and clung to his hand. The more he rubbed, the warmer his palm became.

The wet and slippery texture of the ointment was different from that of a towel. At first, it was just washing his body clean, but now, applying ointment for him, it inexplicably took on a certain amorous charm.

“Extreme intelligence is bound to cause harm. You should exercise more to invigorate your blood and unblock your meridians to suppress that dark and frantic energy. Otherwise, if the evil energy gains the upper hand, I’m afraid you won’t be a capable minister but a treacherous hero—the medicine is ready, thirty coins.”

Xie Wuchi put down the ointment, stood up, and took out some money to give him.

Before leaving, Lin Yangchun said, “Of course, a doctor never reveals a patient’s secrets. By the way, I also have a set of ‘Taiyin Exercise’ for health preservation. It strengthens the body. If you want to learn, you can come find me at the clinic.” After saying that, he strode away.

Only after he left did Shi Shu say, “That doctor is amazing.”

“Yes,” Xie Wuchi said, “He was once the chief of the Imperial Medical Academy but was demoted and expelled from the palace for being implicated in a case of poisoning an imperial heir. According to rumors, the Empress Dowager asked him to poison the emperor’s concubines to cause miscarriages, but he righteously refused, saying that a doctor only knows how to save people, not kill them. Thus, he angered the Empress Dowager and was banished to the common folk.”

Shi Shu said, “Then he really is a good doctor.”

Xie Wuchi picked up another dab of ointment with his fingertip. “There are few freeloaders in the Prince’s residence, but also few who speak the truth. I can only say that these days, I’ve learned who among these retainers fawns on their superiors for wealth and who speaks bluntly against them.”

“I’ve decided to get to know this Doctor Lin.”

Shi Shu’s waist and hips were fair. His waist narrowed before flaring out slightly into a rounded curve. There was also a narrow, thin wound there. The ointment was rubbed on the skin, emitting a medicinal scent.

A tingling numbness spread across his back. Shi Shu turned his head abruptly. “Xie Wuchi, where are you touching!”

“Your butt, it’s injured.”

The cotton fabric half-covered his lower body. It was coarse, which made the undulating, jade-white, and supple flesh stand out even more. Half of Shi Shu’s buttocks were exposed, his back was smeared with colorful ointment, and that patch of jade-white was all the more eye-catching. It seemed a single pinch could leave a mark.

Shi Shu’s skin was too fair, like the body of a porcelain vessel, but a healthy, translucent white, as if it had some kind of attraction, dazzlingly eye-catching.

Shi Shu said, “I have injuries all over my body today.”

Xie Wuchi’s hand, with its protruding veins, rested on his lower back. “Helping you rub away the bruises and clotted blood.”

The ointment dripped onto the skin, the brownish liquid flowing, and as it was spread over his body, the skin felt smooth, elastic, and warm.

It was cool at the first touch of the ointment, but soon, under the grinding of his fingertips, it became hotter than the original skin.

The medicinal scent filled the air, which grew thicker and thicker.

Warm, delicate, and clinging to the hand, his fingertip would create a dent, and the jade-white would quickly bounce back. Shi Shu rested his forehead on his hands, his clothes pushed up to his back, revealing only his waist and half his buttocks, which looked extremely conspicuous against the light blue bedding, like a half-ripe, jade-white peach.

Shi Shu said in a muffled voice, “Xie Wuchi, the ointment is so cold.”

Xie Wuchi replied, “Bear with it, it’s almost done.”

—A straight man transmigrated into a max-level incubus.