UCTOOT CH112

The two stood one in front of the other, separated by the boundary of light and shadow, gazes locked.

In the bamboo forest, Shi Shu looked at Xie Wuchi under the moonlight. He remembered the night at Xiangnan Temple, a Buddhist niche standing by the steps, spiderwebs knotting the damaged face of the Buddha statue. Xie Wuchi had once stood on high ground, looking at him like this as well.

Shi Shu’s eyes grew hot: “That’s not it.”

Say it… say it, tell him that was just a fleeting thought from the past. The you of now has understood the hardships of each other in this world and decided to be companions forever on the road ahead.

Shi Shu chanted in his heart: Say it, say it quickly!

Tell him… Shi Shu chased after him anxiously. Xie Wuchi let go of his hand and walked wordlessly through layers of forest canopy. The accompanying guards didn’t know what had happened, silently quickening their pace to follow left and right.

In the pitch-black courtyard under the moonlight, the door opened with a creak. Xie Wuchi entered. Shi Shu suddenly hugged him from behind, choking with sobs: “Bro…”

How could Shi Shu understand that Xie Wuchi’s sentence stung not only Shi Shu but also his own past.

Shi Shu hugged him: “I’m sorry… I was wrong. I like you very much now. I’m already… a man’s dog… sob sob sob…”

Shi Shu wiped his rolling hot tears. No one said dating would involve crying like this.

His wrist was pulled away. Xie Wuchi turned and entered the room, holding an oil lamp, stepping inside.

Shi Shu followed his footsteps, watching Xie Wuchi sit at the head of the bed, and went up to hug him: “Xie Wuchi, I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you that I did think that way once. I wanted to go home, and this system told me this answer…”

Xie Wuchi sat there, the pastries bought from the market on the table, glancing at Shi Shu. On Shi Shu’s fair, handsome face, tears flowed.

Shi Shu had cried for him a few times: once when leaving Senzhou, and once now. Xie Wuchi looked out the window, his tone calm: “I am a person who never forgives those who have hurt me, nor do I ever look back.”

Shi Shu’s eyes were wet and bright: “Xie Wuchi.”

Xie Wuchi: “I will cut off all the past that made me unhappy. It was the same when I was with them—treating me as private property, confining me, mind control, surveillance, harsh criticism in the name of love, restricting personal freedom, denial, and manipulation.”

Xie Wuchi turned to look at him: “All along, if I wasn’t obedient enough, no one would truly be good to me.”

Shi Shu felt a heavy blow in his heart: “It’s not like that.”

Xie Wuchi lowered his eyes: “But a person like me, besides getting pleasure from trampling others underfoot and gaining the warmth of skin from indulgence, indeed has no other hobbies.”

“The fairness, justice, uprightness, and sensibility you all want—it just so happens I have never empathized with them.”

Xie Wuchi turned his back to the moonlight. When he pulled up his pant leg, the scar on his calf was still there, the wound still inflamed. His hair fell loose, hanging before his eyes, revealing the scars on his wrist.

Shi Shu wanted to get closer: “That’s in the past…”

Shi Shu reached out, wanting to touch his wrist, remembering these were cut by Xie Wuchi one by one to discipline himself, to change into something meeting Shi Shu’s expectations. In the night at the bamboo building of the Enemy Army, Xie Wuchi’s wrist bled as he repeatedly said, “Will change… change it…”

Xie Wuchi wanted love, wanted Shi Shu to love him.

Wanted Shi Shu to accept him as he was, not force him to change.

Shi Shu suddenly understood the heart-piercing pain Xie Wuchi had suffered day and night.

Shi Shu couldn’t bear it, stepping forward to hug him: “I, I like you.”

Urgently: “I also like you talking dirty every day, taking off clothes for me to see.”

Shi Shu leaned in, kissing his face: “Xie Wuchi, I like you. Everything about you is good.”

Xie Wuchi’s cheek felt cold as he stared at the ground: “She seems to be right. A person like me always hopes for those filthy things deep inside, expecting romantic love.”

“Clearly in this world, the sea is wide enough for fish to leap, the sky high enough for birds to fly.”

Shi Shu: “No.”

Shi Shu didn’t want him to deduce extreme results from extreme processes again, falling into an emotional dead end. Obviously, under infinite denial, Xie Wuchi’s cognition was also being reinforced step by step.

Shi Shu simply leaned in to block his lips.

But Shi Shu was pushed away. Xie Wuchi: “I’m not in the mood.”

Shi Shu knew his state and hugged him from behind: “Xie Wuchi.”

Shi Shu propped his elbows on the bed, summoning courage to lean in and lick-kiss his Adam’s apple. While licking him, he also reached his hand into the robe. Xie Wuchi’s body was very hot, but he was also very cold.

Shi Shu could only hug his waist, slender fingers first touching the well-defined abs. Going lower, Xie Wuchi’s dark brows showed chaos as he suddenly panted.

Shi Shu sensed his reaction. Xie Wuchi turned around, staring at Shi Shu: “Have you had enough?”

Shi Shu undid his collar: “Xie Wuchi, give me a kiss.”

Pale blue moonlight; Shi Shu’s handsome face was full of unease. The window was still propped open, the lamp extinguished. Only the plain, generous bed and simple table and chairs decorated the room.

Shi Shu kissed him urgently again. After kissing along the Adam’s apple, he kissed the rising and falling chest. The clothes were pulled open—flowing muscles and raised veins. A long time ago, Shi Shu probably never thought he would kiss a man.

Shi Shu was a bit anxious, summoning courage to kiss all the way down his chest until the tip of his nose caught a faint scent.

“Shi Shu.”

Xie Wuchi’s fingers tightened in his hair; Shi Shu’s face was pressed there, rubbing.

“Want me?” Xie Wuchi’s voice was cold.

Shi Shu felt somewhat broken inside. He hadn’t thought that dating Xie Wuchi would involve so many thrills. Everything experienced in this world was shaping them.

Shi Shu nodded. The next second, the thing intruded into his mouth.

“I’ve been too gentle with you. You’ve almost forgotten that essentially, I am a selfish person who only lives for myself.”

Shi Shu was forced to kneel on the bed, both hands tightly gripping the sheets by his side. He seemed to understand that Xie Wuchi’s emotions had entered a dead end.

“Whatever you want, I can give you—whether for those villagers, commoners, or reducing the number of soldiers dying in vain. The world is in chaos, warlords divided. You want me to be a good person; I can fulfill your wish.”

Xie Wuchi’s hand gripped his hair deadly tight, his movements ungentle.

Shi Shu made a choking sound, tears welling up, fingers leaving marks on his skin.

Shi Shu’s tears flowed, pressed against the tattoo, pushed forward forcefully.

“…So good.” Xie Wuchi gripped his neck.

Pulling his hair with one hand while touching him with the other.

[Explicit content follows – continuing with appropriate summary]

Shi Shu felt Xie Wuchi’s rage. It was now ten or twenty thousand times wrong. Shi Shu suddenly began to regret choosing this way to solve things at such a time.

Shi Shu took a step back: “Xie Wuchi, let’s calm down first.”

Shi Shu’s cheeks ached. He turned to run, but an ankle was suddenly grabbed.

Shi Shu was startled. Before he could react, his body was dragged back. Shi Shu hurriedly grabbed the quilt, but unexpectedly, the quilt was dragged back with him.

Shi Shu became alert: “Xie Wuchi, no…”

Darkness before his eyes. Shi Shu’s arm hooked, catching the window frame. Just as he gripped tight, the scorching heat pressed against him from behind through clothes. Shi Shu reached one hand out the window, seeing Xin Bin’s ruined temple, saying chaotically: “Xie Wuchi, I said no, don’t…”

Honestly, after starting to date, the fact that Xie Wuchi was a man occasionally gave Shi Shu a sense of detachment. Looking back, Xie Wuchi’s upper body clothes were all gone. The male shoulders, neck, waist, and abdomen illuminated by moonlight had almost no softness.

Shi Shu’s eyes widened, one hand hugging the window frame deadly tight: “Xie Wuchi, I beg you, beg you! Bro, Bro…”

Shi Shu’s mind was in chaos, thinking it’s over. A few seconds later, Shi Shu’s arms bent, spine arching—

Shi Shu’s ears were crimson. He didn’t dare look at Xie Wuchi, didn’t dare clamp his fingers, yet had to look at his face.

Shi Shu trembled all over, hearing the sound of fingers pumping in wet flesh squelch… squish…

Shi Shu’s fingers clenched tight, handsome brows furrowed: “Xie Wuchi…”

So strange, so itchy… Shi Shu covered his face with both hands, kneeling before the window, snow-white waist concave, exposed fair peach flesh aimed behind.

Moonlight shone on the quiet courtyard; vision became blurred.

Shi Shu’s eyes reddened, looking out the window: “…Can’t take it… why…”

Xie Wuchi was stirring him. The only touching place, very hot, was his finger, deep inside his body.

Shi Shu’s five fingers clenched, wanting to get angry, fair forehead pressing against the wall under the window frame: “Xie Wuchi… not allowed…”

Shi Shu barely said two sentences before heat and weight covered his back. Panic and urgency rose in Shi Shu’s heart. While he was at a loss, a scalding hand pressed his waist.

Another hand pinched his slender neck to fix him. Shi Shu frowned. Just hesitating for a second, the back of his neck was bitten sharply by teeth.

…

Moonlight shone on the thatched roof dome.

In the mountain forest, this was just an inconspicuous house surrounded by green grass, a pomelo tree planted at the entrance.

In the ruined temple hundreds of meters away, Xin Bin was sleeping in his clothes, but his hearing was keen, seemingly hearing some sounds intentionally or unintentionally.

Xin Bin got up a few times, looking at the courtyard not far away. It had been dark all along, but the moonlight was good tonight, just past the fifteenth.

Calculating carefully, after this night, it would be Commander Xie’s birthday. He wouldn’t have known, but seeing the Second Young Master searching the market carefully these two days, he guessed as much.

He faintly heard anomalies, seemingly two cries. Hesitating for a moment, he walked forward carrying a lantern.

Crunch, stepping on dry leaves in the bamboo forest. Xin Bin was about to approach but stopped again.

Because of Commander Xie’s order, he would be summoned if needed at night.

Xin Bin returned to the temple, blew out the lamp, and slept in his clothes again.

…

Inside the room, the bed frame was shaking slightly.

Shi Shu was covered in sweat from head to toe. Sweat flowed down his jaw, fair ears and neck, and red-marked chest. Shi Shu’s hand held the bed handle, head hanging down, completely limp from being kneaded.

“Ah…”

Shi Shu was carried back, hands on his shoulders, misty brown eyes meeting Xie Wuchi’s gaze.

In an instant, Shi Shu’s remaining shame made him turn his face away.

This action seemed to stimulate Xie Wuchi. He reminded Shi Shu even more explicitly of the fact that he was possessing him with kisses.

Initially unable to enter, Shi Shu cried tears of pain. Held in Xie Wuchi’s arms, he felt the man couldn’t vent this breath and could only play with him roughly with fingers.

Shi Shu was pulled apart by him. That hand rubbed his back, hot and stimulating, with very heavy force, almost causing Shi Shu pain.

[Explicit content]

It went on until midnight.

Shi Shu fell into a dead sleep in exhaustion, black hair hanging by his earlobe, lips bitten broken, scabbing with blood.

After Shi Shu fell asleep, Xie Wuchi sat by the bed, looking at the person full of marks on the bed.

Xie Wuchi was quiet for a long time, a pair of dark, quiet eyes looking down at his own hands, seeming not to know what to say.

Only late at night did the room quiet down.

…

The next day, snow-white sunlight shone in the courtyard.

August weather, heat rising. Shi Shu opened his eyes in a burst of pain. Just thinking of getting up, he felt pain all over his body.

The sunlight was very good today. Snow-white sunlight illuminated the dust in the room and also illuminated Shi Shu’s body.

Shi Shu was white all over, now covered in red marks—hickeys, marks from Xie Wuchi’s kneading. Moreover, Xie Wuchi hadn’t cleaned him up; the air still held his scent.

Shi Shu thought Is Xie Wuchi still angry? Hearing someone speaking outside, he hurried to find an outer robe to put on.

It was Xin Bin and other guards reporting to Xie Wuchi: “My Lord, today King Zhouchi specially invited the guest advisor Xie Xun to dinner. This lowly one guesses he is being pressed too hard for debt by the tribes and is wavering.”

Shi Shu understood that Xie Wuchi and the others were currently inciting chaos for this King Zhouchi.

Xie Wuchi fastened his outer coat, changing into the cyan, simple, and tranquil scholar attire. Hearing this, he said: “Step down.”

Shi Shu waited inside. Xie Wuchi entered and met his gaze.

“…”

Shi Shu had a wound on his lip, brown pupils staring straight at Xie Wuchi. A moment later, he awkwardly changed the subject: “You’re going out? So fast? Wait for me, I’ll take a bath and change clothes to go with you.”

Xie Wuchi: “No need. I don’t really want to go out either. Want to sleep, and also want to just let it go.”

Shi Shu: “Huh?”

Xie Wuchi: “Can’t find the meaning. But this is your wish.”

Xie Wuchi picked up the cold medicinal soup on the table and drank it in one gulp: “You made me feel very good last night. In return, I should help you finish things.”

“…” Shi Shu looked at him. “Huh?”

Xie Wuchi picked up the bamboo hat on the table to shade from the sun: “Will probably be very busy these few days. You just stay here. Might not come back.”

“…………”

Shi Shu stood there, not understanding these sentences, but noticed Xie Wuchi seemed to have not slept all night—probably insomnia, dark circles under his eyes—plus the excessive indulgence last night, his complexion was poor.

Shi Shu: “But tomorrow is your birthday.”

Xie Wuchi: “These things have no meaning to me.”

While Shi Shu was puzzled, Xie Wuchi walked out the door and disappeared into the field ridges with the others.

The guard was attending to Shi Shu, not understanding the wound on his mouth: “Second Young Master, internal heat? Need this lowly one to get some medicine?”

Shi Shu looked at his back and came to his senses: “No need, no need.”

Sunny weather in the courtyard. Shi Shu stood in the courtyard, looking at the tender green leaves and melon vine trellis. The sunny breeze was soft, blowing the leaves back and forth.

Shi Shu went to the kitchen; no water was boiled in the pot. Xie Wuchi could bathe in cold water, but Shi Shu couldn’t, so usually hot water would be left for him.

Thinking of this, Shi Shu sat down on the stool.

Although Xie Wuchi’s anger was predictable, Shi Shu didn’t know exactly how angry he was.

By afternoon, Xie Wuchi hadn’t returned.

Shi Shu thought about it. Since he was bored anyway, he went to the city to find him. Didn’t find him. On the way, he bumped into King Zhouchi’s cavalry rushing anxiously towards the mountain. It was said that the neighboring King Wushan was coming to kick him while he was down, wanting to take advantage of King Zhouchi’s tribal defeat to snatch his fertile land.

Shi Shu suddenly recalled the order Xie Wuchi gave to Taoist Han Tian. Needless to say, Xie Wuchi had a hand in this.

Shi Shu saw Xin Bin, but Xin Bin said: “My Lord probably has to attend a private banquet tonight and can’t come back.”

Shi Shu: “Ah?”

Xin Bin said: “Vertical and horizontal alliances. Su Qin and Zhang Yi of the Warring States period were treated as guests of honor just for their eloquence. My Lord is currently following this path. That King Zhouchi is under great pressure recently, having just lost a battle, tribes coming to collect debts from all sides, and neighbors eyeing him covetously. It’s exactly the moment of anxiety and blindness, easy to be seduced.”

Shi Shu: “Okay, I’ll wait for him.”

Xin Bin observed him carefully: “What’s wrong, Second Young Master?”

Shi Shu thought for a moment: “Then tell him I’ll go back first. I’ll come again tomorrow morning.”

Shi Shu walked all the way back, picking up a small bamboo stick, poking at flowers and grass by the road as he walked.

The next morning, Shi Shu came again while poking at flowers and grass, then went back again.

The small grass he poked down was wilted by the sun, different from the vigorous ones beside it. Shi Shu returned to the courtyard. The guards sat down to cool off, probably admiring their Second Young Master’s ability to run.

“Xie Wuchi, today is your birthday.”

“Looked forward to it for so long, counting the days one by one. Didn’t expect that when the day really came, it felt very plain, and you didn’t have expectations either.”

Shi Shu mumbled in his heart, rubbing the corner of his lips. For some unknown reason, his wisdom tooth started hurting.

Memories from a day or two ago floated into his mind—Xie Wuchi biting his back, kissing his earlobe, very aggressive… Shi Shu was in a pretty good mood today. He bought an old hen, plus the fish kept in the tank from the rain a few days ago. Guessing he might not come back for lunch, he started cooking in the afternoon.

Shi Shu chopped the chicken into pieces and stewed it in the pot, adding various yams, tried hard to make sweet and sour pork ribs, and finally made pickled cabbage fish.

Quarreling aside, a birthday still had to be celebrated.

When Shi Shu had his birthday, his parents would cook a particularly rich meal at home and buy him toys.

As soon as mealtime arrived, the guards slipped away. Shi Shu looked at the table full of dishes, tasted a mouthful—flavor wasn’t great. Xie Wuchi hadn’t returned by evening either: “Good thing you didn’t come back; these dishes really aren’t very delicious.”

But Shi Shu was also somewhat hesitant. Really not coming back?

Shi Shu walked to the kitchen, put the knife aside, poured flour to knead dough. Because he didn’t know how to pull noodles, he rolled the dough and cut it into thin long strips, threw them into the pot with eggs, and cooked a bowl of noodles.

Noodles tasted better just made; they would get soggy if left too long. Shi Shu sat waiting for Xie Wuchi to return.

The sky grew dark.

“Is Xie Wuchi not coming back today?”

Shi Shu scratched his head. Had to say, still a bit sad. However, Shi Shu prepared to wait a bit longer for him.

The night grew deeper.

Xie Wuchi probably wasn’t coming back.

Shi Shu stood by the door waiting. He knew there was a conflict with Xie Wuchi, still because of the system matter. But Shi Shu didn’t know what to do either. If saying sorry was useful, he could say it many times.

But Xie Wuchi seemed very hurt. Shi Shu was so sleepy waiting. Before long, a figure appeared at the door. Shi Shu actually didn’t expect Xie Wuchi to return.

The oil lamp was dim. Shi Shu raised his brow: “Eh?”

Xie Wuchi saw the dishes on the table: “The guard told me you have a toothache.”

He took medicine from his sleeve: “Bought you chewable tablets.”

Shi Shu reacted instantly, stepping forward to hug him: “Xie Wuchi.”

Xie Wuchi: “I’m leaving.”

Shi Shu hugged him from behind: “Don’t go, don’t go, I beg you, don’t go! I cooked longevity noodles for you, in the pot. Hungry or not?”

Xie Wuchi grabbed his wrist, pulling it away for some reason.

Shi Shu held his hand: “I beg you, don’t go, Xie Wuchi. I looked for you twice, and you wouldn’t see me. I waited all day for you to come back for your birthday. I’ll celebrate your birthday with you.”

Xie Wuchi lowered his eyes, dragged into the room by Shi Shu. Shi Shu took advantage of his pause to fish the noodles from the pot. Indeed soggy, didn’t look good: “How was it in the city? I didn’t find you. You didn’t forget yourself? Still remember it’s your birthday?”

Xie Wuchi: “Wasn’t much.”

“Didn’t order a few more dishes, drink some good wine?”

Xie Wuchi sat, eyes restless. A moment later he turned cold: “I—”

But before he finished, he was stopped by Shi Shu. This room was broken and small, with only a simple desk holding books and maps. Daily meals were eaten by the bed.

Shi Shu brought a stool to sit in front of him, holding half a bowl of noodles: “Xie Wuchi, stop being angry with me. It’s my fault. Come, eat a mouthful of noodles, smooth and lucky, blessed and long-lived.”

Xie Wuchi looked away: “Don’t want to eat.”

Shi Shu: “Don’t look at its bad appearance, it’s quite delicious. I’ve been learning to make noodles these days. There’s an egg inside too. Take a bite.”

Xie Wuchi’s wrist gripped the wooden bed then loosened, a face full of indifference. He seemed to want to say something. Shi Shu held the boiled egg to his mouth. “Take a bite, birthday baby.”

Xie Wuchi looked up, dark, slightly cold eyes watching him.

Shi Shu’s face was full of smiles, full of youthful sunshine. He seemed very happy just that he came back, not calculating or mentioning the matters of the previous days.

Xie Wuchi: “Shi Shu.”

“Eat noodles, eat noodles. Celebrate your birthday first today. You came back so I know you’re not angry with me anymore.”

Shi Shu coaxed him: “Quick quick quick.”

Xie Wuchi leaned down, biting half a mouthful.

Shi Shu smiled and said: “Xie Wuchi, happy birthday.”

Author’s Note:

Xie Wuchi, happy birthday.

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