TBR CH65

Chapter 65: Never Satisfied

The demon was imprisoned in a silver cage, forged under the will of the divine, sturdy and indestructible.

He was all alone, a look of indifference and carelessness on his face, as if there was nothing that could make him linger. He looked very lonely, but he was not waiting for anyone, nor was he holding onto hope.

So similar, Tarksius thought. He thought he had long forgotten this scene, thought he could break free from it. But the chaotic footsteps of the priests coming and going, the massive church buildings casting down shadows, and the square for pronouncing judgment.

He seemed to be in a mirror, reaching out to touch his reflection. The God’s figure overlapped with the demon’s.

Even after a thousand years, nothing had changed, the God thought. But this time, he had not left a scroll to summon himself outside. A demon killed twice had absolutely no possibility of returning to the world again.

The priest had already issued the verdict. The Holy Knights were walking towards him. Thick smoke billowed from the pyre, until at a certain moment, the harmony the crowd had maintained was suddenly broken, as if a wrong note had suddenly appeared on the sheet music.

With the clamor of the crowd, the demon raised his eyes and saw—

Edwin, leaning down from the white tower, looking down. The bright, translucent red reflected in those lead-gray eyes. Their gazes met lightly in mid-air.

The Bishop looked at him, and the astonishment in his eyes. He smiled at the demon reassuringly, as he always did, as if what he was dealing with was still a problem he could handle with ease.

He shouldn’t be here, for whatever reason. The sunlight shone on the golden threads of his robe, glittering like yellow jewels. The white tower, one of the holiest places in the church. Edwin had preached here before. Looking down from here, the square for burning demons was completely in view.

People began to stir, and the priests of the church sensed something even more ominous. The Holy Knights hesitated whether to continue the ceremony, or to wait for the Lord Bishop to come down from the white tower first.

…He would not come down from the white tower.

Due to the special nature of the location, every word Edwin said could be clearly heard by everyone in the square. He began to speak, his tone calm. Only those who knew him well could sense that he was trying his best to restrain the trembling in his tone. His first sentence caused a considerable stir:

“I am a sinful man,” he declared.

He shouldn’t be here. Tar stood in the cage, looking at him through the glittering silver bars. Did he not know what it meant for the Great Archbishop of the Holy See to overstep his bounds and appear on this occasion? Words spoken could not be taken back. The first sentence was tantamount to self-destruction. It might still be possible to end it now.

The greedy flames that could burn him to ashes still burned in the Bishop’s chest. He knew how he should choose. From childhood, he had decided to climb upwards, and had been working hard all this time.

He’s already come this far, Tar thought, and then—

And then, he stood high on the white tower, clutching the scepter in his hand, just like every time he had preached in the past.

“I shouldn’t have come here,” Edwin said. “But you see, I came here willingly. Even if it means my end, being eternally nailed to the pillar of shame, even if there were a thousand more times, I would make this choice.”

His voice gradually went from trembling to calm. He hadn’t yet said his purpose for coming. In the pause for breath, he let out a short laugh, watching the Holy Knights and his subordinate priests standing hesitantly in place. It was a pity they had not seized the opportunity to report. This was also all within the Bishop’s expectations.

The crowd was so shocked they fell silent.

“I am here to save a demon.”

Even the dullest person realized that Edwin was about to do something outrageous. The Holy Knights drew their weapons. They quickly rushed towards the gate of the white tower, while the priests stared in astonishment, trying to use magic to attack, at least to touch the corner of their Lord Bishop’s robe.

Someone in the crowd screamed, seemingly wanting to escape and spread the terrible news outside like a bomb.

Edwin lowered his eyes and looked at the crowd indifferently. He felt the uneven patterns of the scepter in his palm, then gently pressed down. The golden scepter knocked on the ground and then lit up, like a sun, sweeping across the entire square in an instant.

His mastery of Light magic was perfect.

Everyone present knew clearly that their Bishop had an amazing talent. Some knew that he had put in an effort that ordinary people could hardly imagine for this. But when everyone saw such pure and beautiful Holy Light burst out from Edwin’s scepter, they were still captivated by the scene, almost forgetting to breathe.

The demon stood in the narrow cage, and the cage began to struggle like a beast being strangled. The railings carved with divine decree melted. The silver flowed scaldingly on the ground, making a creaking strange sound and a slight peculiar smell that emanated when metal melted.

The Bishop was using Light magic to save a devil.

Everyone present couldn’t believe their eyes.

Tar watched the Holy Knights rush over, like panting bulls, trying to stop him from escaping the cage. The tips of their swords glittered. Priests had already arrived at the white door, raising the blessed ritual instruments in their hands—

The clanging sound of metal falling to the ground rang out, like a musical performance.

The Holy Knights were firmly pressed down by the Holy Light on their spines. Their weapons fell from their powerless hands. And the less experienced priests even couldn’t help but kneel down. The light was so bright it could swallow heaven and earth, making them afraid to look up.

The most experienced on the scene was the priest who had condemned Tar. He lasted a little longer, so much so that he could shout at Edwin in a loud voice, his voice furious, like thunder: “Traitor to the God of Light! God will destroy you, just as you destroy us! Are you not afraid of the wrath from heaven? If you stop now…”

He could not speak anymore, because the power bestowed by his God was being used more thoroughly in the hands of their Bishop than any of them. Edwin clearly found it very interesting and smiled. “Please do not call me a traitor,” his voice still had that strange magic, but it was being used by this arrogant person to say completely different words. “I have never believed in the Light. For this thought, I have blasphemed God, and will never have any intention of repenting.”

If a person held a high position in the Holy See, not for faith, then it must be for power.

If a person was willing to give up power, give up faith, then he must have chosen love like a fool, believing that ethereal love could serve as bread, that one could live on love alone.

Now the demon could leave.

Tar stood where he was, motionless. He chased Edwin’s eyes, and the Bishop, after frankly finishing his speech that was enough to destroy him, looked at him again.

Edwin’s gray eyes moved slightly, bringing with them the remnants of countless hurricanes. However, the eye of the hurricane was still reserved for Tar, just as the Holy Light did not touch the demon’s skin in the slightest, but obediently avoided him.

A completely free demon.

The cage that surrounded him was now only a broken, bare pillar, a large silver gap.

Now no one could speak, except Tar.

The demon’s hair was soft, hanging tamely on his shoulders. Edwin unconsciously moved his fingers. He so wanted to touch his hair again.

But, he looked at the demon’s eyes, that pair of bright and heavy pomegranate-red eyes. It was as if he were personally touching this thick jewel. He understood that the demon had already guessed his decision.

He avoided Tar’s gaze, but heard his voice, a little hoarse, but the tone was still beautiful. “You didn’t leave yourself any way out,” Tar said. “You don’t plan to go with me, do you?”

Edwin avoided Tar’s gaze. He looked at the other people in the square.

The Holy Light pressed down on everyone’s spines. The eyes of the people on the scene were terrified. In those flustered and incredulous eyes, the pious believed he had blasphemed God, while the others—those who chased power, like endlessly circling moths, were astonished by this, believing he had been completely blinded by love, easily throwing away everything he held in his hands, as if abandoning worthless mud and sand.

…Like mud and sand.

Edwin would never think so. Pure ambition constituted the value of his life. Everything he chased could not be a fleeting firework. Even at this moment, touching his beating pulse, he could still feel the craving for power flowing through his veins.

Give up this, or give up that.

Human power has its limits, and most things in the world require you to choose one of two. But, as the Bishop felt his own power, like a tide crashing on a sandy beach, endlessly flowing away in the brilliant light of the Light magic, he laughed.

It was an arrogant smile. He looked down at the people below him, standing on the white tower of the Holy See, wearing the robe of a Great Archbishop.

No matter how you choose, it is a betrayal of the other party, it is a lack of courage to face it.

Abandon Tar, and he would become an empty shell, eternally cursed.

Abandon power, and he would abandon his true self. Twenty years of desperate effort, like a moth to a flame, was not to negate everything at this time.

He had once begun to think about what he should give up, what he should keep. Should he disregard the demon’s life and firmly grasp the papal crown, or should he give up all power and strength and walk the road of escape with the demon?

The reason for his pain was that he could not keep both in his hands.

…But.

It was not until now that Edwin had finally found the answer.

If you can’t do it, you are no longer you.

Before making his decision, Edwin once again remembered the solution Tar had told him in the tavern. Tar had said, Don’t make a choice. A sufficiently greedy ambitious man will not let options shackle him, will not let any identity of “human” or “Pope” teach him what to do. Be greedy. Give up anything, and you are no longer you.

Tar was right. He should be greedier, never satisfied. He should not make any decisions in his life that he would regret, otherwise it would be incomplete. How could that be worthy of his past twenty years of being a moth to a flame?

A golden light coated Tar’s pupils, making his gaze look golden-red.

The demon strode forward. The bars of the cage melted with a hiss under an incredible force. He knew very well that Edwin was not using magic at this time, but was overdrawing his life.

What beautiful eyes.

Edwin thought, I will save him. I will not give up on him. Just as Tar had pulled him out of the quagmire of imminent shattering time and time again, he would absolutely not abandon him. This thought burned in his heart like a rose.

All his past was also burning in the flames. The flames scorched him hotly. Getting rid of the past, holding a high position, the scepter and the crown of thorns—these were all parts of him. He could not abandon his past, nor did he have the disposition of a wanderer. Edwin could not accept a self that had lost its power, so…

His life had meaning. His death would also have meaning.

The person who died here was not nameless.

“I know how you will mention my name in later generations,” Edwin smiled, almost arrogantly, at everyone below the white tower. The scepter in his hand emitted the most dazzling light in history. Everyone had to prostrate at his feet.

The Church had not had time to take off his crown, and from now on, it could not. To destroy oneself, this was a charming choice. Everything he possessed when he died, no one could take away.

“I speak to you from a position you cannot reach. At the same time, the Emperor has come to the Holy See. Today was supposed to confirm my rightful position as the sole successor to the Pope. I came from the nameless church in the Vadin district, born without a name, bearing the curse of my bloodline. But none of you will ever go as high as me, or do as well as me.”

You see. A mad hurricane swayed in his gray eyes. He was almost truly happy for this.

“Even after I die, the Holy See will continue to operate under the shadow I leave behind,” the Bishop had something crazy in his eyes, perhaps because it had been suppressed for too long, or perhaps it had never been suppressed. “Even if you desperately want to forget me, you will have to continue to follow the path I have laid out. Even if you want to strip me of my crown, you must remember, you cannot take anything from a dead man. Even if you cross out all the words on the pages, you cannot get rid of the voice left by history, ever.”

“Praise my name,” Edwin finally looked down at everyone, like ants. He stretched out his arms, posing as if blessing the believers after a holy sacrament, as if it were the posture he made every time he praised the miracles of the God of Light. But this time, he was only speaking for himself. “Praise my name, fear my name, speak of my name with awe. In my life, there is nothing to regret, nothing to give up. Remember my final position—the ninety-seventh Great Archbishop of the Church of Light.”

This was him, always unscrupulous, leaving no room for maneuver, never giving up anything—or destroying it. Giving up was something only cowards did. Tar, under the honey-colored light of the tavern, had curled his lips and raised his glass to him: “I’m angry because you’re not greedy enough.”

He would not choose power and give up what he loved.

He was so satisfied at this moment. He had never thought before that protecting the one he loved would so thoroughly make him feel alive. This taste of truly being alive, just experiencing it for a moment, was almost enough to make one go to death with a sense of comfort.

He loved him so firmly, so piously. And it was just so coincidental that he could protect him.

Edwin had fantasized about fleeing with the demon. But if he lost all power, had nothing, he would not allow himself to continue to live shamelessly in the world.

Some people might think his choice symbolized losing both. The demon no longer belonged to him, from now on traveling the world again. And he would take the crown to a cold tombstone, giving up the highest point he was just one step away from.

But for a rare moment, he felt he had given up neither.

He was going to die.

His name would be forever nailed to the pillar of shame of the Holy See. Later generations would call him a thorough traitor and an arrogant man. But even so, people might still whisper his name with awe before the title: the Great Archbishop of the Church of Light.

It would be so even in death.

Love and sacrifice.

Power and death.

Edwin thought he had thought it through very clearly, until he saw his lover’s eyes.

Tar stood stunned, looking at him. The bars of the cage around the demon had all melted, still making a sizzling sound from the brilliance. His pomegranate-red eyes stared at him without blinking, bright eyes, in which there seemed to be the enchanting secrets of the entire world, reflecting Edwin on the white tower.

…He had not said a proper goodbye.

Hugs and kisses were far from enough. He wanted to touch his soft hair again.

His lover’s lips seemed to be coated with honey. When he imagined it, it was first sweet, then a bitterness spread over his lips and teeth. It shouldn’t be like this, too hasty. He still wanted to do so many things with him. He still had gifts that had not been given, wishes that had not been made, promised places he had not been to.

Edwin tightened his grip on the scepter in his hand.

He was afraid that if he looked at him one more time, he would be reluctant to die. He had been trying to look away. But their gazes still met in mid-air. The weather was clear at this time. The sunlight projected every subtle change in the other’s gaze into each other’s eyes.

Just this once, the two’s gazes were reversed. Edwin’s eyes were firm and decisive. The storm in his eyes was about to burn himself to ashes, while Tar’s eyes were a blank slate.

The demon had never felt so out of control. Even his heartbeat was out of control.

Thump—thump—thump—

He was frozen in place, unable to feel his hands and feet, nor the cold or heat of the weather. The whole world suddenly lost its color in his eyes, leaving only Edwin on the white tower, curling his lips at him.

Only him was left.

Edwin had never given up on the pursuit of ambition, but he would rather destroy himself to save him. Edwin had long arranged a path to death for himself, which was why he had so decisively cut the soul contract. Edwin was now standing on the high platform looking at him, his gaze also softened, with a pleading meaning.

He hoped he would leave quickly, yet he was afraid to see his back.

Edwin had a dagger hidden in his boot, so that even if he lost his strength, he could kill himself.

The demon, for the first time, felt at a loss, even helpless, before such a brilliant soul. He was stiff, not even knowing what he should do.

The Holy Light enveloped the entire square, but carefully avoided him, as if he were a fragile object. Under the Holy Light, he was able to escape. The one blessed by the Holy Light was a demon.

“I haven’t made a wish yet,” Edwin said slowly, but his voice rang extremely clearly in Tar’s ears. “You promised me a wish.”

Tar stood where he was. He did not leave immediately. Edwin was glad he could still say something to him in the end, but there was not much time left. His power would run out, or God would completely extinguish all the light he could use.

He had exhausted all his strength, overdrawing his life, like the last burst of light from a candle before it burned out.

So the Bishop didn’t wait for the demon’s answer and began to make a wish, like a child eagerly blowing out the candles. “I want you to never be caught again.”

Tar felt his heart beat even more intensely for no reason, as if it were about to break free from his chest. He couldn’t help but cover that heart with his hand, his gaze firmly locked on Edwin, hearing him say, “And then, you must remember me, and never forget me.”

A demon’s lifespan is very long. He now understood that he was absolutely not satisfied with just occupying the position of a passerby in it. He now understood that he did not see him as a precious treasure. Tar could not belong to him. This was the meaning of companionship, otherwise he would not have made a wish time and time again.

But, he was not satisfied with this.

Remember me forever. When you walk through those strange sights I will never see, you must think of me. When you talk to new acquaintances, you must think of me. When you freely wander under the meteors of the Dragon’s Ridge, you must absolutely not forget that a human once made a pact with you.

Remember me forever. Do not embrace another, do not kiss another; even if you embrace another, kiss another.

This was not a wish, this was simply a curse.

But Tar stood where he was. He felt his feet were burning. He didn’t want to stand there anymore, not even for a second.

For the first time, he felt a heart being shaken so strongly. The whole world was melting before his eyes. Those painful, uneasy memories were evaporated into crystal clear dewdrops, hanging in Edwin’s eyes.

The demon opened his mouth, but only made a vague breathy sound. But Edwin knew what he wanted to ask. The Bishop supported his body with the scepter in his hand. He was becoming weak, so he leaned his chest against the railing of the white tower, his half body leaning towards the pure white marble of the square.

He pretended nothing was wrong, but the tears in his eyes were about to fall. Tar couldn’t help but open his palm, unrealistically hoping that the tears would fall into his palm like translucent crystals for him to treasure.

Edwin said in a low voice, “I came here because you are more important than anything else. Tar, you asked me many times what I wanted. In the end, listen to the words of a dying man. I love you, more than anything else; second is all my ambition.”

He had not given up anything, but had reversed the order.

“Promise me.”

The Bishop’s gaze was expectant. He was high above, standing at the top of the white tower. This was the ending he had chosen for himself, and it was also the wish he had made long ago. He was so eager for it to be fulfilled, just like more than ten years ago when he clutched the medal in his hand and greedily stared at an embrace.

A drop of crystal clear liquid fell from mid-air, fast, silent. The God reached out and caught the tear. His palm was not wet from such a small drop of water, but he felt his heart was wet.

The heart of a god is eternally cold, like a snowfield covered with endless frost. And this heart, at this moment, was undoubtedly moved slightly.

Not the heart of a demon, but the heart of the Dark God, Tarksius.

“I promise you,” he heard himself say, and Edwin smiled in relief.

He used the last of his strength to envelop everywhere he could see with endless brilliance, ignoring the stabbing pain from his heart, and even the fingers he could not close, only barely holding the scepter.

The Holy Light tried its best to become gentle and harmless, lightly touching the demon’s back, pointing out a path for him to leave.

The demon was so smart and cunning. After he left, he would be like a drop of water merging into the ocean, and no one would be able to find him again.

The effect of the overdraft was about to completely crush him. Edwin began to feel his bones ache as if they were broken. He tried his best to support himself with the railing against his chest, greedily casting his last gaze at Tar.

For a moment, he was so jealous that the Holy Light could still lightly wrap around his back, while he could no longer be so close to the demon.

After another two seconds, he began to feel a little anxious and panicked.

Tar still stood where he was, his jewel-like red eyes staring at him without blinking. The demon was best at seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages. He should know he had to leave at this time. A small delay was harmless. Edwin could still squeeze out the last of his strength.

But, please, he cried silently in his heart, already unable to turn it into language that Tar could hear: please, go quickly.

The demon walked out of the shackles.

The demon effortlessly left the shackles, his steps light, without any restraint. This was how he should be, forever free, living freely in this world.

He was so beautiful.

The Bishop couldn’t help but loosen his grip on the scepter. It was now useless to him. He propped himself up with both hands on the railing of the white tower, looking down like a dove about to fall, but his gaze was as greedy as an eagle’s.

Just one more look is good. Just to keep my lover’s pomegranate-red eyes in my sight for one more second.

Because he had not thought that the morning’s hug was the last hug. All of it, thinking back now, felt too regrettable. Too regrettable, too painful. If there was a chance, he absolutely did not want it to end here.

Although he knew this wish was unrealistic and of no help to reality.

The feeling of fear came suddenly, scorching Edwin’s heart. He was too focused on engraving Tar’s image in his eyes at the last moment, but he didn’t notice at the first moment that there was a discordant place in this scene.

…That was not the right direction.

The direction Tar was heading was not away from him, away from the Holy See.

He took a step towards him, and then another.

Edwin had already pulled the dagger out of his boot, but he estimated that he would die from the backlash of the Light power before he could plunge the blade into his chest. He tried his best to maintain the barrier. The barrier glowed calmly and brightly.

He staggered to his feet, reached out and pointed in the direction away from him. But Tar seemed to ignore his instructions. The demon’s steps became faster and faster. His black boots stepped on the ground, making a light but crisp tapping sound.

He was not ignoring his gaze. Edwin looked at Tar with pleading eyes, and the demon returned his gaze with a reassuring look.

The problem was that the situation could not get better. Edwin was afraid of missing the best answer. He knew the demon was approaching him. This purpose made him feel sweet, and at the same time bitter like black salt. The Bishop tried his best to shake his head. He had originally calculated how to distribute his power, but at this time he felt it was far from enough.

He tried his best again. The human body has its limits, but near the limit, Edwin repeatedly squeezed his bone marrow dry, and his heartbeat.

Go quickly.

His power was about to run out. He might not be able to suppress everyone in the square, including the entire team of Holy See’s Holy Knights. It had to be said, what Edwin was doing now was like a miracle. Yet the demon still walked towards him.

Edwin couldn’t help but close his eyes for a moment.

He took closing his eyes as rest and gathering strength. He decided to completely burn himself out when he opened his eyes. If he died, the demon would no longer approach. He wanted Tar to be well, to live on with his promise.

But before he could open his eyes, a soft and warm touch suddenly came from his skin. The air was filled with the rich fragrance of roses. Soft strands of hair rubbed restlessly against his neck. He was encircled in a pair of powerful arms.

And in the first second, he guessed the name of this hug, but still found it hard to believe.

“Wh…”

It was this moment of surprise that made him forget his wish to burn himself. At that moment, he finally felt it was irreversible. He fell back limply, suspecting that everything he was feeling now was a hallucination before death. His back was about to hit the hard, cold floor of the white tower.

He was caught.

“Tar…” he murmured, feeling dizzy. Then fear took over his mind again. “You should have gone… I can still think of a way. The people in the square can’t move for a while. Let go of me and leave now. It might still be in time. It must still be in time.”

Edwin was almost panicking as he tried to push Tar away, completely without time to consider how he had come to the white tower in an instant.

“Don’t worry.”

The demon’s voice was sweet, like the purest brew. He leaned over and kissed his neck, the brightness in his eyes almost bewitching. For a moment, Edwin forgot to resist, just letting him kiss, as if surrounded by roses.

He was so beautiful. Edwin’s gray eyes reflected Tar’s image. The Bishop reached out to touch him. He did not dodge.

He did not dodge. Edwin heard a little noise finally sound from the square. His bewitched heart finally returned to its original point. Edwin raised his eyes. His light gray eyes began to think of all possible paths in an instant, but at this time there was no way—

Was that so?

A black mist stretched up from somewhere, spreading throughout the square, around them.

The Bishop saw from the corner of his eye that the originally recovered Holy Knights and priests were once again submerged in the black mist. Faintly visible, they swayed again and fell to the ground, like silent puppets, closing their eyes.

The black mist was endless, ceaseless, swirling around them. Edwin knew that this level of power must come from a completely unimaginable existence. Unlike his own full-strength effort to cover the square just now, the master of the black mist seemed to have just casually tossed his power.

He gripped the demon’s arm tightly. The situation before him was out of control. Edwin only knew he had to protect Tar well. He looked around vigilantly, afraid that the black mist would touch Tar’s body.

But…

Edwin stared at the scene before him, his brain thinking at high speed, but unable to get a definite answer.

The demon let him lean against him, holding him with one arm as if he had obtained something precious. He fell into the demon’s embrace, and the black mist completely bypassed him, as if there were some invisible barrier.

Most importantly, Tar’s other hand was gently extended forward. On his fingertip, something like a drop of ink was spinning. The surrounding air, touching the ink drop, was pulled into a hurricane, carrying the deep black mist away.

All the black mist had only one source, like the eye of a hurricane. That huge, terrifying, boundless power all came from the demon’s fingertip.

In a daze, before Edwin could figure everything out, he suddenly had an unrealistic guess:

The black mist bypassed him,

—just as he had controlled the Holy Light to carefully bypass the demon’s figure.

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