SITS Ch20

Chapter 20: Nightmare

Although everyone on the team knew the rumors about Shen Man bullying others were false, due to a few trending topics, the game officials still sent someone to investigate the situation a few days later.

The officials first went to Yang Shanhe, privately asking if it was true that Shen Man had bullied him.

At this point, if Yang Shanhe had smeared Shen Man, it would have been hard for Shen Man to explain himself, but when it came to this moment, Yang Shanhe realized that he didn’t actually dislike Shen Man as much as he had imagined. Although he was reluctant to admit it, he even felt a bit concerned for Shen Man. He secretly wondered if Shen Man had really hit Xu Zhouye.

The officials were worried that he might be afraid to speak, so they repeatedly confirmed if Shen Man had violated any rules, but Yang Shanhe denied it.

“I never said Shen Man bullied me,” Yang Shanhe said. “I only said his temper is bad. Having a bad temper doesn’t mean bullying someone, right?”

Seeing that he was firm in his stance, the officials gave up.

The next person to be investigated was Xu Zhouye.

As one of the rumored victims, Xu Zhouye seemed even more innocent when asked about it: “Shen Man never laid a finger on me.”

The officials showed him a photo of him sitting next to Shen Man, looking teary-eyed.

Xu Zhouye looked at the photo, grinned, and said, “Did you have breakfast yet? I bought some sticky rice dumplings yesterday. Would you like to try one?”

The official: “Huh?”

Twenty minutes later, the misunderstanding was cleared up, and the official wiped away tears as they left the meeting room with Xu Zhouye.

Shen Man happened to walk by. He still didn’t know what had happened and casually asked, “What’s going on here?”

Xu Zhouye watched the officials leave and seriously said, “They came to clear up the rumors for you.”

Shen Man understood. “The officials came?”

Xu Zhouye replied, “Yeah, now no one will say anything about you.”

Shen Man smiled. “That’s not necessarily true.” Even with the official clarification, some would still claim that the officials were covering for him, and he had heard such conspiracy theories many times. That’s why he remained unshaken.

“Are you going out, ge?” Xu Zhouye noticed Shen Man had a bag slung over his shoulder.

“Yeah, I have something to do,” Shen Man replied.

“The sun’s really strong outside. Do you want to take an umbrella?” Xu Zhouye asked.

“No need,” Shen Man said. “Too lazy to carry one.”

It hadn’t rained in almost half a month, and the heat outside was unbearable. As soon as Shen Man opened the door, a wave of heat hit him. The air was humid, and with the high temperature, it felt like a damp towel was draped over his face, making it hard to breathe.

Shen Man took a step forward, stepping onto the sun-baked ground.

It was a workday morning, and there were almost no people in the cemetery.

The pine trees lining the road, growing for over ten years, provided ample shade, blocking most of the sunlight and adding a bit of coolness to the air.

Shen Man held a bouquet of fresh flowers and, after walking down the stairs, stopped in front of a tombstone.

The tombstone was well-maintained, with a photo of a kind-looking elderly person. Shen Man bent down and gently placed the flowers in front of the tombstone, calling out, “Grandma.”

It had been eight years since his grandmother, who had raised him, passed away on this day, making it her death anniversary.

Shen Man took out some water and a towel, slowly wiping the dust off the tombstone. While wiping, he quietly talked about the trivialities of his life, telling her that he was doing well and not to worry.

“I miss you a little,” Shen Man whispered. “If you miss me too, come visit me in my dreams.”

Over the years, he hadn’t dreamt of her much.

Shen Man’s expression softened as he lowered his gaze, standing by the tombstone for a long time until the scorching heat made his clothes damp with sweat.

“Grandma, I’m leaving now,” Shen Man said, sweat glistening on his forehead and nose. “I’ll come see you next time.”

He turned around, but after taking just two steps, he saw a thin figure standing in the shade not far away. He quickly recognized the person: it was Lu Ni.

Shen Man: “…” He didn’t expect Lu Ni to be here.

Lu Ni saw that he hadn’t moved and took the initiative to walk over, calling out softly, “Manman.”

Shen Man asked, “What are you doing here?” He thought she had already left.

“I wanted to come see your grandma,” Lu Ni said, holding a bag of things. “I dreamed of her before, and she said it’s a bit cold down there. She wanted me to burn her a couple of clothes.”

Shen Man: “You still believe in that?”

Lu Ni chuckled. “I didn’t believe it when I was young. But when you get older…” She smiled, “You start to believe it.”

“Well, you go ahead. I’ll leave now,” Shen Man said, nodding at her.

Lu Ni said, “Manman.”

Shen Man: “What?”

“I was wrong about this matter,” Lu Ni said. “They told me… I should have come back at the time.”

Faced with Lu Ni’s guilt, Shen Man remained unmoved. He looked at her with a calm tone, as if talking about someone else. He said, “You don’t need to apologize. It was your choice, and you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Lu Ni: “…”

“I’m leaving,” Shen Man said, stepping away.

“Manman!” Lu Ni tried to call him back, but Shen Man walked quickly. In a moment, he was out of sight.

The high temperatures only made his already irritated mood even more restless.

Shen Man was extremely hot, and his T-shirt was almost soaked through with sweat.

But even so, he didn’t forget to put on his mask, so when he returned to the base and took it off, his face was completely red.

This look startled Xu Zhouye. “Ge, are you okay?”

The 23-degree air conditioning made the room feel like an ice cave, and as the cold air hit, the redness on Shen Man’s face quickly faded, leaving him looking incredibly pale.

“I’m fine, it’s just really hot outside,” Shen Man said. “I’m going to take a shower.”

“Make sure to turn on the hot water,” Xu Zhouye said, looking at his pale face with concern. “Don’t catch a cold.”

“Yeah,” Shen Man replied.

The hot water washed away the sticky sweat and irritation. Shen Man leaned against the wall, taking a long breath. He found it hard to like summer, maybe because the person he cared about the most had died in the sunniest season of the year.

After the shower, he dried his damp hair and sat quietly on the edge of the bed, lost in thought.

Outside the right-side floor-to-ceiling window was a garden full of lush plants, with roses blooming on the wall like a waterfall, their colors vibrant and cascading down.

A season full of life.

Shen Man felt a bit cold and listless, lying back down on the bed. He wanted to close his eyes, but unpleasant memories kept resurfacing in the dark, forcing him to open his eyes again.

He refocused on the white ceiling, feeling utterly exhausted.

That night, no one saw Shen Man. After he returned to his room, he hadn’t gone out again.

At dinner time, Xu Zhouye hesitated whether to call Shen Man to join them, but in the end, he gave up. It was the first time he had seen such an expression on Shen Man’s face—exhausted and indifferent, with empty black pupils. He was looking at people while talking, but it seemed like he couldn’t really see them at all.

This was a look Xu Zhouye had never seen before, and it made his heart tighten.

Clearly, Shen Man needed some time alone, Xu Zhouye thought. Interrupting him would only cause more discomfort.

As night fell, Shen Man couldn’t sleep.

His body was extremely tired, but his mind was wide awake. He climbed out of bed, rubbing his aching head, and went to the kitchen.

He opened the fridge and took out a can of cold beer. Shen Man pulled the tab and took a big gulp.

He stood there, staring at the can, lost in thought. As he turned around, he was startled by a figure standing in the dark, backlit by the light. The shadow was long and eerie.

The first thought that popped into Shen Man’s mind was that those creepy fans had somehow snuck in again. He took a step back, instinctively assuming a defensive posture. “Who’s there?”

The shadow reached out and turned on the light.

“Xu Zhouye?” Shen Man said, surprised. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

It was already 3 AM.

Xu Zhouye replied, “I had coffee this afternoon, so I couldn’t sleep.” He looked at Shen Man and softly asked, “Ge, you can’t sleep either?”

“Yeah,” Shen Man answered.

The two fell into silence, and the atmosphere became a bit awkward.

Xu Zhouye hesitated for a moment before softly saying, “Ge, you didn’t eat dinner, right?”

Shen Man hadn’t eaten, but he wasn’t hungry, so he shook his head. “I’m not hungry.”

Xu Zhouye said, “…I went for a run this evening and brought you the little yellow fish I bought the other day.”

“Just happened to bring it?” That was impossible. The shop was far from their base, and with the time spent waiting in line, it was definitely not a “happenstance” in this suffocating heat.

Shen Man pursed his lips.

Xu Zhouye thought Shen Man didn’t want to eat and looked a little disappointed. He lowered his voice, “It’s fine if you don’t want to eat.”

“Thanks,” Shen Man said. “I’m actually a bit hungry.”

Xu Zhouye’s face lit up with joy.

Shen Man thought, if Xu Zhouye didn’t have such a beautiful girlfriend, he might have thought Xu Zhouye was interested in him.

But he knew he had many fans, and feelings like these came in many forms, so he didn’t think too much into it or assume it was love.

The little yellow fish was reheated and still delicious. Shen Man slowly chewed on a piece.

Xu Zhouye sat nearby, resting his chin on his hand, watching him eat. Shen Man eating the little fish looked like an elegant cat, incredibly cute.

But the cat’s mood didn’t seem great. Though his face remained expressionless, it was more fatigued and distant than usual.

Xu Zhouye wanted to know what happened in the afternoon but didn’t know how to ask.

“I went to the cemetery to visit my grandma,” Shen Man suddenly spoke, perhaps thanks to the delicious little yellow fish. He had been silent for a long time. “I also ran into my mom.”

Xu Zhouye realized why Shen Man was in such a bad mood.

Shen Man took a sip of beer, his tone flat. “My grandma was actually quite healthy, but one day she fell at home. It was pretty serious. I was living at school at the time, and by the time I got home, she was already gone.”

His tone was casual, but the words made it hard to feel at ease.

“The weather was so hot,” Shen Man said. “The police said she had been lying on the floor for at least three days.” He took another sip of beer and continued, “Later, the neighbors helped with the funeral arrangements.”

Xu Zhouye: “…”

“Let’s not talk about it,” Shen Man said. “It’s pretty boring.”

Xu Zhouye wanted to comfort him, but the words felt too flimsy. It was like meeting someone on the brink of freezing to death in the dead of winter, and all he had was a thin, tattered cloth that could barely shield them from the few snowflakes.

Xu Zhouye’s mouth felt dry, and when he spoke again, his voice was hoarse. “Ge, don’t be sad.”

Shen Man was amused by his expression. “It’s fine. I’m not as fragile as you think.”

Xu Zhouye silently watched Shen Man.

The melancholy in his eyes affected Shen Man. He said, “Ge, that must have been really tough for you.”

Shen Man’s Adam’s apple moved slightly, but he avoided answering. “…I’m tired.”

He put down the beer can and yawned. “I’m going to sleep. What about you?”

Xu Zhouye said, “I’m going to sleep too.” He had many comforting words he wanted to say to Shen Man, but they seemed incredibly out of place at that moment, so he swallowed them all, and a suffocating bitterness rose deep in his throat.

Just being a listener felt this painful—how must Shen Man have felt at the time?

Shen Man waved his hand and turned to leave.

Whether it was the alcohol taking effect or the food relaxing his tense body, Shen Man finally fell asleep once he returned to his room.

His sleep quality wasn’t good, as he was constantly in a half-dream, half-awake state.

Chaotic images, like shattered shards of a mirror, flickered in and out. It was as if he was transported back to that afternoon when he was fourteen, pushing open the door to his home alone.

The memory, which should have been deeply engraved in his mind, was now blurry. He could no longer remember the horrific scene clearly, only vaguely recalling the terrified scream of a neighbor.

He stood in the long corridor, the air sticky and hot, clogging his nostrils and making even simple breathing incredibly difficult. Someone had called the police, and a crowd of onlookers had gathered in circles. Amid the comings and goings of people, he remained standing in place, even forgetting when he left.

The overwhelming stench of death and the noisy voices became part of the memory—children crying in fear, adults offering sympathetic comfort, and police officers asking stern questions.

It felt like a detached observer’s view.

But from this perspective, there was one thing missing—Shen Man himself.

He had deliberately forgotten himself, left himself behind in that hot afternoon, in that corner filled with flies and maggots.

Then came the funeral.

Simple and quick, the neighbors helped him choose a burial plot. The only thing he could be thankful for was that Shen Man at least had enough money to buy the plot.

The elderly woman’s black-and-white photo on the tombstone looked unfamiliar in the dream, and Shen Man found himself afraid to look at it.

“Manman.” Suddenly, someone called his name.

It was a familiar voice, a familiar tone, as if trying to comfort the scared him.

“Manman.” In his hazy dream, someone gently placed a hand on his head, the touch light and comforting, speaking in a dialect to soothe the frightened child, “Little one, sleep.”

Shen Man murmured, “Grandma.”

“Grandma is here,” the voice said. “Little one, don’t be sad, Grandma is here.”

Shen Man curled into a ball, choking back his sobs, “Grandma, I miss you so much.”

He missed her so much.

“Grandma misses you too,” the elderly voice was kind and gentle. “Misses you… Don’t be afraid, Grandma is here…”

The fear was dispelled.

Shen Man relaxed his furrowed brows, whispering the elderly woman’s name. The terrifying nightmare that had been haunting him was finally driven away by love.

Shen Man fell into a deep sleep.