SGT CH101: He is His Humanity

◎ Zombies don’t need humanity, but Aix needs Mousse. ◎

But why would the Zombie Emperor do this?

Mousse’s rationality told him: the Zombie Emperor simply didn’t want to lose his food source. If he were infected and mutated into a zombie, he would become “tasteless.”

In the vast majority of cases, zombies do not eat their own kind. The only exception is when many zombies are trapped together without a food source, forced to cannibalize each other until a Zombie King is raised like a gu (poisonous insect).

Rationality warned Mousse not to harbor absurd fantasies.

But his emotions were yearning for another possibility.

Perhaps, Aix still retained a faint shred of humanity. Even if that humanity had thinned with the mutation of his body, it might still exist—tenacious and stubborn, intertwined with the predatory instincts of a zombie.

This guess brought a suffocating surge of emotion to Mousse’s heart.

He felt a mix of surprise and relief that a part of Aix’s consciousness still existed in this world. Yet, he also felt profound sorrow that Aix could only watch helplessly as he mutated into a cold, bloodthirsty monster.

Extreme grief and self-blame swallowed him whole.

As a holder of a psychic (mental-type) ability, Aix didn’t need to turn around to perceive the intense emotional shift in the person behind him. It was an emotion of extreme repression and sorrow, like a deep, dead ocean of darkness that could drown anyone immersed in it.

Aix’s movement as he placed the dishes paused slightly; his body went nearly rigid.

From the moment he awakened his ability, his emotions had always been tethered to Mousse. Perhaps it had been that way even earlier, from the first time they met. It just became more obvious after he awakened his psychic powers.

Even becoming a zombie couldn’t offer an escape.

When he went out to hunt, Aix could clearly scrutinize the changes within himself. He was becoming indifferent, rational, and cruel; all emotions were being stripped away, just like every other high-tier psychic zombie.

But as soon as he returned to Mousse’s side, those dead emotions were easily stirred. It was as if the stripped-away feelings rushed back.

His emotions and his humanity were all tied to Mousse.

Zombies don’t need humanity.
But Aix needs Mousse.

……

The repressed emotions behind him were trending toward something more intense.

Mousse’s mental state had been poor since the apocalypse began; he was listless all day. But extreme, repressed emotions like this had only appeared twice in Aix’s memory.

The first time was after their first intimate union.
The second time was when Mousse learned that Aix had given a rare psychic crystal core, obtained during a mission, to the healer in their team. Mousse had caused a huge scene and treated him with extreme coldness ever since.

This was the third time.

Aix had always been afraid of this. Becoming a zombie didn’t make him an exception.

Moving stiffly, Aix sliced a fresh plate of cold tomatoes and placed them on the table in front of Mousse. The plate clattered lightly against the table surface.

In the car, silent enough to hear Mousse breathing, the sound was exceptionally loud.

Still trapped in extreme sadness and self-blame, Mousse looked over at the sound. Seeing the tomato slices sprinkled with sugar, his vision instantly blurred. He looked up at the figure beside him. Aix’s silhouette was fuzzy, his crimson eyes unclear through the haze of tears.

He had caused Aix to become this way; Aix must hate him.

Mousse tried hard to keep his eyes open, wanting to memorize Aix’s final appearance, however blurry.

He pleaded, “Kill me.”

There was no need for Aix to keep an enemy like him alive. He was willing to die for his mistakes.

……

Aix left.

Only Mousse remained in the lit RV. Outside, the sky had turned dark, and the roar of zombies began to rise.

So, had Aix left him here to perish on his own?

Mousse wiped his eyes dry, staring out at the pitch-black window, waiting for fate to descend.

[Little Cake, what is wrong with you? Saying stuff like that suddenly—you scared me to death.]
[You scared Aix away too. His face looked terrible when he left.]

“Isn’t this the result everyone was expecting?”
To die in the mouths of zombies.
Just like Aix did back then.

It was just that Mousse had hoped it would be Aix who ate him, rather than some unknown, strange zombie.

[Although that’s technically true… we’ve been together for a few days. If you were suddenly gone, I’d be a little sad.]
[Besides, haven’t we found a way to lower the Scum Gong Value? As long as you complete the missions and reform properly, there’s still a chance to survive.]

If he survived, how was he supposed to face this Aix, who suspectedly retained some humanity? How could he watch Aix fall into depravity amidst pain?

His gaze moved to the food on the table. Aix, knowing his dining habits, had even prepared a dessert for him again.

Mousse picked up the fork. He decided that before the zombies arrived, he would finish this plate of food Aix made for him—the last food he would ever give him.

He waited until late into the night, but no zombies appeared.

Tired of sitting, Mousse simply lay down on the bed to wait. Waiting and waiting, drowsiness overtook him, and he closed his eyes heavily.

He woke up again to a massive explosion.

A huge shockwave hit, shaking the RV as if the earth were moving. Mousse sat up, bewildered, bracing himself against the wall, and opened the window to look outside.

The sky outside was just brightening, carrying the cool chill of early morning.

Only then, by the light of the dawn, did Mousse see that the clearing outside the vehicle was overgrown with tall, mutated plants. Thorny mutated vines were woven together, encasing the RV like a fortress.

No wonder no zombies had approached last night, even though the lights were on and his silhouette sitting by the window must have been obvious.

Before he left, Aix had planted offensive and defensive mutated plants to protect the RV.

Why would Aix do this?
Was this… guarding his food?
Did Aix decide he wanted to enjoy the meal himself later?

As Mousse pondered, he looked through the gaps in the thorns and saw thick smoke rising in the distant sky. Fire had turned half the horizon red.

That was the direction of the Sixth Hospital.

Before Mousse could form a guess, a familiar fluctuation of space ability appeared inside the vehicle. The air twisted, rippling like water.

Aix appeared in the car, dressed in black, the hem of his clothes stained with unidentified blood and grime.

Their eyes met in the air.

Aix opened his mouth as if to say something, then stopped. His broad shoulders slumped in slight dejection.

Mousse looked at the fire in the distance, then back at Aix in front of him, and couldn’t help but ask, “Did you go to the Sixth Hospital? That explosion just now…”

“Mn.”

Aix gave a low hum of affirmation. He averted his gaze, speaking with difficulty.

“That high-tier psychic zombie… self-destructed.”

Crystal core self-destruction.

This was the reason psychic crystal cores were so hard to obtain. Not only because psychic types were extremely rare, but also because psychic zombies possessed an intelligence unlike humans, as well as extreme rationality.

When they realized death was certain, they would often choose to self-destruct their crystal cores. Even if it meant destroying themselves and paying the price of their life, they wouldn’t let their opponent gain any benefit.

In all this time, Aix had only ever obtained one psychic crystal core. That psychic zombie had only been E-rank. Aix had sealed the space and destroyed its consciousness before it could detonate, using absolute power to prevent the self-destruction.

But he hadn’t been able to bring that crystal core back.

Mousse had grown distant from him because of it. When news of a new psychic crystal core came, Mousse insisted on going with him. And when they encountered the zombie tide at the Sixth Hospital, Mousse had shaken off his hand, his eyes full of coldness and resistance, perhaps even disgust…

The action of Mousse shaking off his hand wasn’t enough to make Aix lose his balance. But the look of rejection in his eyes made Aix fall. He even gave up on channeling his ability, allowing his consciousness to sink into darkness.

Did he hate him?
Of course he hated him.

It was just that, surprisingly, he still couldn’t bear to let go; he still couldn’t stop worrying.
If he were gone, how would Mousse survive alone in this chaotic apocalypse?
Perhaps he would cling to a more suitable ability user, tricking them into giving everything for him. After all, he was very good at that.

Waking from the darkness, his body no longer felt pain. His consciousness was half chaotic, half lucid. Aix smelled a familiar scent in the air and instinctively chased after it.

Mousse was in a more wretched state than he had imagined.
Wasn’t he the best at deceiving people? How did he let himself fall to this point?

In the end, Aix took him away and imprisoned him by his side.

……

Their conflict, when it came down to it, seemed to stem from that psychic crystal core.

So, when Mousse said those words to him, his eyes filled with the resolve to die… Aix fled in a panic.

He disrupted his previous plans and sought out that high-tier psychic zombie early, wanting to bring its crystal core back. Perhaps with that crystal core, Mousse wouldn’t be angry with him anymore.

But he failed.

Aix stood with his head bowed in the shadows of the vehicle walls. His tall figure was covered by the shade, making him look somewhat wretched and bleak.

Mousse had long lost his obsession with the psychic crystal core. He didn’t even care about his own life anymore, so of course he wouldn’t care about obtaining an ability.

Seeing Aix so dejected, he assumed Aix was annoyed at losing an opportunity to advance. Aix’s psychic ability could be upgraded. He had broken through to A-rank a long time ago; if he could obtain another high-tier psychic crystal core, he might be able to charge toward S-rank.

Mousse didn’t know how to comfort him. Comforting a zombie felt a bit strange.
But this was Aix.

“There will be other chances…” Mousse said softly.

Hearing this, Aix looked up at him, slightly stunned. The hand hanging by his side twitched slightly. He opened his mouth, asking as if seeking confirmation:

“Then… will you stay by my side?”

Mousse didn’t know how to answer. He would eventually have to face judgment.

“I have nowhere else to go… Before I die, I suppose I will…” Mousse answered vaguely.

If Mousse had to choose a way to die, he was still willing to be eaten by Aix. Although he would instinctively fear it and tremble, that was just the uncontrollable psychological and physiological reaction of a human truly facing death.

Even though Aix no longer breathed, hearing Mousse’s words, he still breathed a sigh of relief in his heart.

“I will find a suitable psychic crystal core for you,” Aix promised.

Mousse: “Huh?”

How did the topic switch to finding him a crystal core? Had Aix still not given up on raising him into an ability user before eating him?

It was very difficult for him to trigger an ability. Aix had once brought back many crystal cores of various attributes to try, except for psychic ones. But Mousse had failed to awaken any ability. He couldn’t even generate a sense or link with those crystal cores, let alone absorb them.

However, Mousse had always been able to sense the psychic crystal core inside Aix’s body.

It was calling to him.

Mousse lowered his gaze, unconsciously brushing over the faint scar on the inside of his wrist.

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