MCL CH30

Chapter 30: He’s Really Back.

From Yan Xingzhou’s expression, he didn’t seem surprised that Lin Xi was here. Or rather, it was as if he was supposed to be standing before him just like this at this very moment.

Watching as Lin Xi’s hand naturally settled into his palm, he pinched his fingertips and gently caressed them a couple of times.

Since neither of them spoke, the surroundings fell into a very subtle silence.

Lin Xi looked down at Yan Xingzhou’s actions, appearing very patient.

Without a doubt, from the moment he had entered this room, Yan Xingzhou’s attitude had been extremely strange.

He needed to confirm some things.

Finally, as if waking from a detailed tasting of the other’s fingers, Yan Xingzhou slowly spoke. “You’ve stopped talking again.”

It was still a very strange tone. Although he was speaking to Lin Xi, it felt more like a long-accustomed monologue.

Yan Xingzhou clearly didn’t need a real reply. Without waiting for Lin Xi to speak, he continued to murmur, “It’s understandable. Perhaps it’s because I’m truly a bit of a mess today. You can probably sense it, can’t you? Three years. I can’t believe it’s already been three years. I thought I had grown used to seeing you like this every day, but it turns out…”

His words paused subtly. He seemed to be trying hard to control his emotions as he took a slow breath. Even so, when he spoke again, the end of his words was distinctly tight. “But today I discovered that all my ‘I thought’s were nothing but a self-deceiving illusion.”

Yan Xingzhou’s grip on Lin Xi’s fingertips subconsciously tightened, and then, belatedly realizing it, he quickly let go. “Sorry, I hurt you.”

Lin Xi glanced down at the red marks on his fingertips, using the gesture to hide the tempest that he could barely suppress in his eyes at that moment.

If he had only been guessing before, then every word in Yan Xingzhou’s speech was enough to give him a very certain answer.

Three years, every day… seeing him.

For this man, there was undoubtedly only one way to achieve all this.

Yan Xingzhou had indeed mistaken him for someone else.

And the person he had mistaken him for was precisely the one who had been formed from all his longing over these many years—his phantom.

Lin Xi’s gaze silently swept over the incredibly familiar “office” around them. Although the scene was almost identical to the one in the inner world, with the passage of time, it felt completely different.

For an obsession to be this strong, no wonder even a mere A-class mental-type contaminant could draw from it at will.

To go to such lengths… Yan Xingzhou, you really are… Should I praise your persistence or lament that you’ve truly gone mad?

“It’s alright.”

Just when Yan Xingzhou thought he wouldn’t receive a response, Lin Xi suddenly spoke.

Yan Xingzhou was slightly taken aback and looked up.

This time, there was no avoidance. Their gazes met.

The expression in his eyes this time was clearly completely different from the “Lin Xi” Yan Xingzhou was used to seeing. It was no longer that placid look that seemed devoid of any ripples. Deep within his eyes, there were clearly many extremely complex and hard-to-understand emotions, silent waves surging, boring straight into his own eyes.

This made Yan Xingzhou frown slightly. Then, as if he had thought of something, he let out a self-deprecating laugh, his murmuring voice growing even quieter. “You spoke after all… But why that expression? Is it as I thought? Even I find this self-deceiving act of mine somewhat ridiculous, to the point that even you have started to pity me. It’s true. Before today, I never thought I could be this weak. It should have been a very happy thing, knowing that you might still be alive. It was always my greatest extravagant hope…”

Lin Xi’s back straightened slightly.

He stared fixedly at the version of Yan Xingzhou he had never seen before. When he came back to his senses, Lin Xi had already reached out a hand. But before it could touch that face, it was caught tightly by Yan Xingzhou.

Yan Xingzhou looked at the hand that had almost touched him, his eyes full of self-mockery. “What a contradiction. On one hand, my heart wants so badly to be close to you, to touch you. On the other hand, faced with the truth right before my eyes, I am afraid. That fire in the rift today… I couldn’t possibly be mistaken… But I’m also afraid. What if I really am mistaken… It turns out that compared to disappointment, hope is the truly most terrifying thing. For the first time, I feel that I may not be able to bear the shattering of hope one more time. You must find it ridiculous too, right? After waiting in my room all night, my final thought was actually that maybe it would be fine to just continue on like this.”

He slowly brought Lin Xi’s hand to the side of his face, caressing it as if it were a precious treasure, his voice like a dream-like whisper. “If that last layer of paper isn’t pierced, at least it means that my extravagant hope still has a possibility of existing. I can continue to believe that you might not, really, be dead.”

Having sat by the window in the wind all night, Yan Xingzhou’s face was coated with a cool night air.

The moment they touched, the icy sensation made Lin Xi’s fingertips instinctively flinch, but they soon slowly reached out again.

The temperature difference between them made the sensation of their touch particularly distinct.

He hadn’t noticed it when he was gently stroking his hand earlier, but at this moment, the warmth transmitted from his fingertips to his face made Yan Xingzhou pause slightly. The next second, the hand on his cheek slid down from the sexy contour of his ear, and combined with the expression of the person before him, it felt like a meticulous and bone-deep exploration.

Yan Xingzhou looked up. “You…”

He was about to speak when the person who had been standing quietly before him suddenly leaned forward, closing the distance in an instant. Their lips were inches apart, their breaths practically brushing past the tips of their noses.

Yan Xingzhou was already in a seated position. With this move from Lin Xi, he was completely exposed in this top-down posture.

In those few short minutes, who knows how many times he had silently cursed at Yan Xingzhou’s morbid monologue, but the moment their eyes met, he couldn’t actually bring himself to say the words.

Damn it.

A thousand words were stuck in his throat. A few short seconds felt as long as several centuries. Finally, on the verge of going crazy from holding it in, Lin Xi’s hand slid down Yan Xingzhou’s neck. Unable to bear it any longer, he grabbed his tie, pulled him forward, and kissed him straight on the mouth.

The soft touch spread out in an instant, charging the atmosphere in the entire room with extreme ambiguity.

During the deep kiss, Lin Xi kept his eyes open, staring fixedly at Yan Xingzhou’s reaction. He caught a trace of astonishment on that usually stern face and, feeling satisfied, felt that the emotions that had been accumulating in his chest had finally found some release.

However, just as he pushed the man back and was about to lean in over him, their bodies barely touching through their clothes, he was pushed away by a massive force the next second.

What is this? Playing hard to get?

Lin Xi hadn’t expected this to be Yan Xingzhou’s first reaction and was also a bit taken aback. “You… don’t like it?”

No answer.

Yan Xingzhou just stared fixedly at Lin Xi. In the depths of his dark eyes, at this moment, was an emotion that was clearly being suppressed with great effort.

His body was obviously just as tense, but the expression on his face was so serious it was almost terrifying. “…I don’t dislike it.”

Lin Xi looked straight at him. “Then what’s this?”

“I don’t dislike it, but I feel that we shouldn’t be like this.” Yan Xingzhou’s low, hoarse voice was full of magnetism. Under the strain of reining in his emotions, his face was also filled with an undisguisable weariness. “We should maintain the kind of relationship we’ve had for the past three years. It shouldn’t be like this.”

A playful smile touched Lin Xi’s lips. “Like this?”

“Perhaps we shouldn’t have met today. It’s my fault for misleading you into making such an unusual move.” Speaking of which, Yan Xingzhou couldn’t help but let out a laugh, wearily rubbing his temples. He repeated, “My fault. I didn’t expect to be affected to this extent by an A-class mental contaminant.”

Lin Xi instantly understood why Yan Xingzhou was reacting this way.

From the moment he had entered this room, this man had clearly believed him to be merely a “manifested” product of his own will. And all his actions now were being judged as a result of the influence he’d received in the rift, a behavioral reflection of the “Lin Xi” from his spiritual world.

His usual attitude of self-reflection was undoubtedly very good, but it made Lin Xi so angry he wanted to laugh. “A madman should be thoroughly mad. To be able to forcibly maintain such rationality at a time like this, how have you managed not to have a complete mental breakdown?”

“The premise of acting without regard for consequences is that everything must be within the bottom line…” Yan Xingzhou’s words were cut short as a figure in the distance came into his view.

He looked at the man who had appeared by the door, identical to the person in front of him. The contrast with that familiar, calm, and ripple-less expression made the face inches away from him suddenly overlap with the one deep in his memory.

In this spiritual world created by his will, two Lin Xis had appeared at the same time.

No, if the one at the door was the manifested being from his memory, then who was this person in front of him right now…

Meeting the man’s gaze again, Yan Xingzhou’s throat bobbed faintly. “You…”

In response, Lin Xi gave a silent smile, and then, he leaned in for another deep kiss.

This was Lin Xi’s answer.

Their thick breaths gradually intertwined, and their pressed-together bodies transmitted their distinct and abrupt heartbeats to each other.

This time, Yan Xingzhou did not push him away again.

Feeling that direct and fervent kiss, all the emotions in his eyes seemed to sweep into a tempest in an instant. All the feelings that had been suppressed deep in his heart for years erupted at this moment.

What forbearance, what restraint—they were all gone in an instant.

Countless thoughts collided and tore at him, throwing his mind into chaos. That string called “reason” finally snapped.

The self-deceiving extravagant hopes he had clung to during countless days and nights of despair seemed to have, really, become a reality.

The person who had once haunted his dreams—

He’s really, back.