GBROTAH CH57

“Cough, cough.”

Sitting and resting, Xie Yuanxing covered his mouth and coughed twice. He turned his head slightly, glancing out of the corner of his eye at the third roommate, who was squatting on a stool, puffing away. 

Xie Yuanxing knew on the first day he moved in that two of his new roommates smoked, but their addiction wasn’t heavy, so they only smoked occasionally, and there wasn’t much smoke smell in their dorm. Compared to other dorms, which were messy, smelly, and full of smoke, his new dorm was already quite good.

However, ever since the third roommate joined a group and had an experiment that drastically increased his stress, the number of cigarettes he smoked each day began to skyrocket. 

Xie Yuanxing didn’t detest the smell of smoke, he just disliked it. It easily reminded him of the stinging pain of a cigarette butt being pressed onto his shoulder blade.

He felt a bit restless, got up, and left the dorm with his backpack. Seeing him about to leave, a roommate nearby said, “It’s your turn to clean today, Xie Yuanxing. Don’t forget, okay?”

Xie Yuanxing paused, “I know, I’ll be back in a bit.” 

It was precisely because it was his turn to clean today that he had stayed put, but Xie Yuanxing hadn’t expected the third roommate to be chain-smoking over a pile of data so early in the morning. 

He’d stare for a long time, type one character, then smoke again. He wanted to say he’d come back to clean at noon, but then he thought of the third roommate’s precarious mental state and felt that coming back at noon wouldn’t be much better.

Sighing, he turned back and started sweeping. As he passed the third roommate, Xie Yuanxing’s brows furrowed. He suppressed a cough and swept the ash and cigarette butts near his seat. When he finished cleaning and walked out of the dorm, Xie Yuanxing finally let out a long breath, feeling like he could breathe again.

He stepped out of the dorm, and the person diagonally opposite him also emerged. Seeing the trash bag in Xie Yuanxing’s hand, he reached out to take it. Xie Yuanxing deftly avoided him, walked around him, and continued downstairs.

Shen Bianye watched his receding figure, the words at the tip of his tongue forced back down. Even though he knew this was Xie Yuanxing’s retaliation, each time he was ignored, it still made his heart ache. He really disliked Xie Yuanxing ignoring him, as if he were just an irrelevant stranger to Xie Yuanxing. He didn’t like it before, and even less so now. But the one who made the mistake had no right to bargain, only to passively accept.

He thought for a moment, then took out his phone. If Shen Bianye guessed correctly, this message should get a response.

His phone buzzed incessantly. Xie Yuanxing carried the trash bag in one hand and his single-shoulder bag in the other, too busy to look. He didn’t look, but the phone kept ringing. When Xie Yuanxing finally threw away the trash and freed his hands, he saw messages from two people. 

One was Shen Bianye’s persistent friend request, and the other was… X, who hadn’t been active for a very long time.

X: “Baby.”

X: “Our Star Baby, what are you doing?”

X: “I’m a bit busy today, so I can’t follow Baby to the library.”

X: “Missing Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby.”

Xie Yuanxing was a little dazed, as if everything familiar had returned. He paused, then replied. Shen Bianye used X to praise and encourage him, and used his own identity to belittle and mock him. Xie Yuanxing was just doing the same things as Shen Bianye; there was no need to ignore X.

Xie Yuanxing: “I was just cleaning.”

His delicate brows furrowed, and his mouth was slightly pursed, a cute expression of annoyance, “Someone in the dorm was smoking early this morning, so annoying.”

Shen Bianye stood at the dorm entrance, watching Xie Yuanxing, who was slightly pouting and typing out his complaints, walk past him and leave. He was thinking how Xie Yuanxing could be so cute. He also subconsciously thought of Xie Yuanxing, who would act spoiled when drunk. If nothing had happened, this expression would probably be seen often on Xie Yuanxing, rather than just glimpsed occasionally. Shen Bianye felt a little heartache and a bit apologetic for not being able to find a better dorm for Xie Yuanxing.

X: “Sorry, Baby, it’s my fault for not choosing a good dorm.”

X: “Otherwise, why don’t you move back? There are empty beds, and a clean, tidy dorm where no one smokes is… in the Alpha and Beta male dorms…” 

He paused in silence, feeling it was impossible to find such a place.

Xie Yuanxing: “Why are you apologizing?”

“This has nothing to do with you. I was driven out by my disliked former roommate.”

Shen Bianye was walking towards the laboratory. Upon seeing this message, he showed a helpless, bitter smile. “Baby, it’s my fault.”

“How about I rent or buy a house outside of school, and we move out together? The space will be much wider and more comfortable to live in, decorated in the style Baby likes, okay, Baby?”

“Live with me, Baby. If Baby doesn’t want to see me, I can always wear a muzzle.” 

Like a mask, custom-made, just so he could better be X’s stand-in.

Xie Yuanxing: “You can’t apply to live off-campus until sophomore year, did you forget?”

“There are only two months left this semester. Let’s wait until next semester.”

When he saw the time, Shen Bianye paused, then realized that half of this semester had already passed so quickly. Time had been wasted in his dishonesty, yet his life had always been counting down. Until now, Shen Bianye didn’t know whether it was right or wrong to be in love with Xie Yuanxing with a body destined for a short life.

But he suddenly understood that perhaps every day he lived with Xie Yuanxing in the future, he would anxiously count the days, becoming more fearful as he approached 30. When he was thirty, Xie Yuanxing would only be twenty-seven. For the first time in his life, Shen Bianye really wanted to pray to Buddha, to superstitiously wish for health, to ask what he should do.

X: “Then will Baby still not move back these two months?”

Xie Yuanxing: “Little cat with tail wagging.jpg”

“Little cat shaking head.jpg.”

X: “Has little cat Baby reached the library?”

Xie Yuanxing: “Almost there.”

X: “It seems I’ve never asked Baby, weren’t you and your friend met at school? Why do I rarely see him with Baby?” 

Xie Yuanxing rarely had friends. Shen Bianye didn’t like or approve of Lin Xiuming. But he still wanted Xie Yuanxing to have friends around.

Xie Yuanxing had already swiped his card and entered the library when he saw the message. He paused, then said, “We’ve been separated for many years. He has his new friends now.”

X: “Then why doesn’t Baby make new friends?”

X: “Baby is always alone.”

When I can’t be with you, what will you do?

Xie Yuanxing hesitated for a moment, then chose to answer. He asked X to be honest, so he should be honest too.

Xie Yuanxing: “I don’t want to make any particularly special friends.”

“A normal friendship is enough.”

Like Shi Tingting, like Gao Yufei, like Tangtang, like Lin Xiuming now – meeting and exchanging a few words, without going deep, without understanding each other.

X: “Why?”

Xie Yuanxing lowered his gaze, his long, dense eyelashes like the wings of a black butterfly—dark, gloomy, keeping people at a distance.

Why? Because feelings that aren’t intense enough, not persistent enough, always dissipate. He used to have more friends than just Lin Xiuming, but after the changes, he had no friends left. What could move Xie Yuanxing now was only the kind of intense, fervent affection that he valued most in the world; friends couldn’t provide that. Xie Yuanxing had no family, no relatives. Whoever cared about him the most, he could care about them the most. But others weren’t like that; they were normal, had normal families, had many friends. Even if Xie Yuanxing became friends with them, he would just be an insignificant one among their important people. Only X was different; X regarded him as very important, more important than anyone or anything else in the world, crazy and obsessed with him. Xie Yuanxing liked that.

He slowly gathered these thoughts, condensing them into one sentence: “Friends drift apart easily. One wrong word, one argument, and there’s no more future. If it’s not important enough, it can be given up easily.”

“What about you? Will you give up on me?”

The reply came quickly, the words revealing steadfastness.

X: “Never, not until the end of my life, I promise.”

Xie Yuanxing pursed his lips and chuckled softly. He said, “I like you so much.”

Shen Bianye, in the lab building, stared at the message, his heart feeling as if it had been filled with syrup, sweet and soft.

X: “I like Baby too, like you most in the whole world.”

X: “Then can Baby move back to live? Baby doesn’t like the smell of smoke, right? The academic pressure has been very high lately, and there will be a lot of smoking over there.”

Xie Yuanxing: “No.”

“I like you, I hate Shen Bianye.”

X: “…”

X: “Then how about Shen Bianye moves out and leaves the dorm for Baby to live in alone?”

X: “Baby, I don’t want you to sleep under the same roof as others, please move back, please, Baby.”

Initially, he let Xie Yuanxing move out because he wanted Xie Yuanxing to have more friends for company. But he was wrong; Xie Yuanxing could only manage to appear to have a normal university life.

Xie Yuanxing thought for a moment, then typed, “Let’s talk about it later. I need to study.”

X: “Baby, I think this isn’t good.”

?

This was the first time X had said Xie Yuanxing was “not good.” 

He was a little stunned for a moment and asked, “What’s wrong?”

X: “It seems like your life only consists of studying, Baby.”

X: “This isn’t right. How about I take you out to play next week, Baby?”

Before, the only time he had taken Xie Yuanxing out under the pretense of a deal, he secretly went to see Xie Yuanxing’s back in the middle of the night. Seeing the injuries on his back ruined his mood for fun. It was his fault. This time, no matter what, he had to make sure Xie Yuanxing had a good time.

Xie Yuanxing was a little confused: “Is that so?”

X: “Yes, Baby doesn’t even scroll through short videos, doesn’t play games, never goes anywhere for fun, and always just runs to the library.”

Xie Yuanxing sat in the library, blinking in confusion, and honestly typed; “Because watching short videos uses data.”

“I don’t have any.”

“And I don’t seem to have much interest in playing games or watching videos either.”

X: “I’ll top up Baby’s phone bill. Can I give Baby a task today, Baby?”

X: “Watch half an hour of videos, TV shows, or play games, anything is fine, just relax yourself.”

He had always felt that Xie Yuanxing’s state of only studying wasn’t right. X shouldn’t have known Xie Yuanxing’s usual lifestyle before, so it was hard to interfere. Now was his chance to bring it up.

Xie Yuanxing hesitated for a moment, then said, “Okay, I’ll try tonight.” 

After that, he connected to the school library’s Wi-Fi and put his phone aside to start downloading a short video app.

He said he’d try it at night, but in fact, Xie Yuanxing started watching before nightfall. While eating lunch in the canteen, he thought of saving time, so he casually opened the vibrating music note app. Xie Yuanxing’s eating speed became slower and slower, and slower still. His phone buzzed, and only then did he realize he hadn’t eaten a bite in a long time.

X: “Has Baby eaten yet? Are you going back to the dorm to rest at noon?”

Xie Yuanxing felt a little guilty for some reason, just like when he was caught by adults watching TV while eating as a child. But watching short videos was something X had told him to do. So, he quickly regained his composure and replied, “Eating now.”

“I’m not going back at noon, I’ll just sit outside for a bit.”

X: “Then does Baby want to come find me? I’m in the lab building, Baby.”

X: “We can nap for a while, hugging Baby.”

Xie Yuanxing was unmoved and very cold: “No.”

X: “Missing Baby so much, don’t want to look at data anymore, want to see Baby.”

X: “I can’t leave for too long here. Can Baby come over? We won’t turn on the lights, Baby, just a hug.”

X: “Just like how we used to be.”

X: “Okay, Baby, Baby, Star Baby.”

Star Baby ignored him and got up to return his meal tray.

Shen Bianye, guarding the tedious data, impatiently licked his lips. Ever since he had a tear mole tattooed on his tongue, this action was almost a subconscious habit. He picked up his phone and sent a message to Zhou Chao. He wasn’t in the mood to type, so he sent a voice message.

“Ask you something.”

Zhou Chao: “What’s up?”

Shen Bianye: “You made a mistake, and your partner won’t forgive you. What should you do?”

Zhou Chao: “Break up, find the next one.”

“Too lazy to coax.”

There was someone sitting next to him, but he said this casually, not taking the other person seriously, and even called Shen Bianye directly. “What’s wrong, Xie Yuanxing won’t forgive you?”

“That’s easy. Play the victim a bit, get caught in the rain, get a cold, say you miss him. Preferably drag your sick body to bring him something or whatever.”

Shen Bianye frowned: “Isn’t that just lying?”

“Completely insincere.”

Zhou Chao smiled, “What’s the point of being so sincere? As long as it works.”

“If he completely doesn’t care about you being sick, then you probably really have no chance.”

Shen Bianye said discontentedly, “Can you not use that method you use to coax your little lovers?”

“Say something useful.”

Zhou Chao hissed, “I can’t think of anything. Spare me, bro. To avoid your relationship problems, I’ve even broken up with my little lovers.”

Shen Bianye sneered, “Didn’t you start dating Lu Qiang again? You just break up with him too?” 

The person next to him, hearing his name, immediately turned his head, his eyes showing alarm.

Zhou Chao casually, unashamedly, spoke directly, “Just break up, it’s all for fun.”

Shen Bianye frowned, “If you’re so unserious about relationships, who will take you seriously in the future?”

Zhou Chao paused, “Aren’t people in our circle all like this?”

“You’re the anomaly.”

“I know you’re serious about Xie Yuanxing, but in love, using a few tricks is normal.”

First loves are always more serious. If Shen Bianye’s illness could be cured, he wouldn’t approve of Shen Bianye and Xie Yuanxing being together. Xie Yuanxing was good, but the gap between him and Shen Bianye was too great.

Shen Bianye said stiffly, “It’s okay to deceive others, but it’s wrong to deceive your own partner.”

“If you treat outsiders and the person you like the same way, then are they still the person you like?”

It was truly unnecessary to ask Zhou Chao.

Shen Bianye hung up the phone with a dark expression. He completely disagreed with Zhou Chao’s flippant attitude, being casual and dismissive towards a partner. If Xie Yuanxing was willing to be with him, they would get married in the future, and a wife was meant to be cherished.

In reality, before he was diagnosed with pheromone disorder, his family was very harmonious. His father also never messed around outside. Shen Bianye was educated from a young age to be responsible towards his partner. That’s why, when he vaguely realized he liked Xie Yuanxing, he didn’t dare to admit it due to his illness, hesitating and timid.

Now, he also didn’t want to use those deceptive methods to gain Xie Yuanxing’s forgiveness. Shen Bianye didn’t even care if Xie Yuanxing forgave him or not; he just wanted Xie Yuanxing to look at him and be willing to acknowledge him.

He stared at the tedious data as if he were very serious, but in reality, he thought of words from a long time ago. He had said it, and now it could be his turn to do it. Xie Yuanxing didn’t like the hateful things he said. Now, if he wore a muzzle, would Xie Yuanxing be willing to let him stay close? How could he make Xie Yuanxing believe that he truly wasn’t rewarding himself? He didn’t like these inexplicable things. He was unwilling to play the victim, Xie Yuanxing was unwilling to hit him, giving gifts didn’t win Xie Yuanxing’s affection, and Xie Yuanxing didn’t accept him doing to himself what he had done to Xie Yuanxing. Nothing worked, everything hit a wall.

Shen Bianye was going crazy.

On VX, the messages sent as X still hadn’t received a reply. He stared at the phrase “like we used to,” and suddenly thought, why not? Xie Yuanxing just hated him, didn’t want to see him. Perhaps he could still, like before, suddenly go find Xie Yuanxing. In the dark environment, they could hide behind people and kiss.

“How is it?” 

The team member who had returned after eating patted Shen Bianye’s shoulder. “Do you want me to take over? Go rest for a bit?”

Shen Bianye suddenly stood up and left in a hurry, “You cover for me.”

By the pond outside the library, Xie Yuanxing sat playing on his phone. Messages suddenly popped up one after another at the top of the screen, urgent, unignorable, carrying an inexplicable restlessness.

X: “Baby, why are you ignoring me?”

X: “Did I say something wrong?”

X: “Baby, it’s been two months, two months since I’ve hugged Baby once.”

X: “I’m in the library stairwell, can Baby come?”

X: “Have pity on me, Baby, just one hug, just one hug, okay?”

X: “Aren’t we dating? Baby’s revenge can’t fall on me, I’m innocent, Baby.”

Dragonflies touched the surface of the pond, and the clean, clear water rippled slightly. Xie Yuanxing pursed his lips, put away his phone, and walked towards the library stairwell. There was a narrow, dark space under the stairs where no light could reach. Xie Yuanxing hesitated for a while, but still walked in. The next second, he was pulled into a scorching embrace.

It wasn’t winter now, so they weren’t wearing thick clothes. Xie Yuanxing could feel the other person’s body temperature through his clothes. It was incredibly hot, startlingly so. Someone in the darkness called out to him, gently, stickily, saying, “Baby, Star Baby.”

It was embarrassing to admit, but when he was hugged, Xie Yuanxing really wanted to burrow into the other person’s arms. He liked this kind of intimate contact. So he rubbed against X’s shoulder, docilely pressing himself against him.

Xie Yuanxing’s movement elicited a strong reaction from the other person. The next second, the hand that had been resting on Xie Yuanxing’s waist easily slipped into the gap, like a hot snake, its body temperature scorching, constantly moving.

X: “Baby is so thin, I can feel your spine.”

His hand climbed up Xie Yuanxing’s spine, section by section, moving around, unable to let go, like playing with an exquisite collection piece. The clothes on Xie Yuanxing’s back were pushed up, the thin fabric showing the ambiguous outline of that hand. Xie Yuanxing suddenly panicked, “Wait, wait.”

Being touched inch by inch on his back like that, Xie Yuanxing shivered sensitively, his body trembling violently, his face flushing.

X: “Baby is blushing, so cute.”

Xie Yuanxing blinked in the darkness, “You, you can see?”

X: “I can see a little, my vision is very good, Baby.”

His face drew closer, his breath hot and searing, completely spilling onto Xie Yuanxing’s fair skin. Xie Yuanxing turned his head to the side, but bumped into something soft.

X: “Baby bumped into me himself.”

X: “Baby wants a kiss too, right?”

X: “Baby’s lips are all pouted, so cute, I’ll satisfy you, Baby.”

A flurry of words caught Xie Yuanxing off guard. Just as he was about to say no, X’s lips and tongue sealed his. Xie Yuanxing’s eyes widened instantly, his eyelashes fluttering non-stop, but he didn’t actually push the person away. Perhaps having received tacit permission, the person who had only been kissing his lips gradually became more unrestrained. He entered Xie Yuanxing’s moist, hot mouth, licking and kissing the helpless soft tongue inside, their lips and teeth intertwined, wet and sticky, like mating hot snakes.

X’s voice was muffled and hoarse, calling out to him repeatedly, “Baby, does it feel good?”

“Does my kiss feel good, Baby? Do you like me kissing you like this, Baby?”

Xie Yuanxing’s waist was trembling. He wanted to speak, but when he opened his mouth, only gasps came out.

X: “Baby trembles so cutely when your little tongue is licked. Does it feel good, Baby?”

Xie Yuanxing whimpered, his eyelashes wet in clumps, but his arms around X were tight, not letting go.

X sighed, doting and malicious, “Why are you crying, Baby? Your eyes are wet, you look so pathetic crying.”

“Don’t cry, Baby. If you cry like this now, how will you endure it in bed later?”

Xie Yuanxing couldn’t bear it now. Already embarrassed, and being constantly described, he angrily pinched X, “Shut up!” 

The latter gasped, chuckled, “As Baby commands. Baby is so fierce, will you taste spicy?”

As Shen Bianye spoke, he himself stiffened. The fact that he couldn’t taste Xie Yuanxing’s flavor, which he had deliberately ignored, resurfaced. He closed his eyes, suppressing the irritation in his heart, and fiercely kissed him again.

…

When Xie Yuanxing walked out of the library stairwell, his eyelashes were wet, and his lips were unusually red. He took a moment to compose himself, then went into the restroom to cool his mouth with cold water. When he came out, he coincidentally ran into someone from their class. The person said, “Xie Yuanxing? I just saw Senior Shen seeming to be looking for someone at the library. Was he looking for you?”

Xie Yuanxing shook his head, his lips cool from the water, and said naturally, “Probably not looking for me.”

“I’m not familiar with him.”