GBROTAH CH54

Xie Yuanxing seemed unchanged, and Shen Bianye observed him for several days with the same conclusion.

Until that day, he saw Xie Yuanxing cry outside a dessert shop.

He hadn’t been constantly watching him, fearing discovery. Although Alphas have excellent physiques and SSS-rank Alphas have even stronger vision, allowing him to observe from a distance, it’s always better to be safe than sorry. If caught, it would be too creepy and hard to explain.

It just so happened that day, he was there when it happened.

It was a very ordinary school dessert shop, with a sign outside advertising a weekend special: buy-one-get-one-free on crème brûlée, egg tarts, and cream puffs.

He had long forgotten that the first thing he ever bought for Xie Yuanxing wasn’t the expensive watch from X, but an eighteen-dollar taro purée crème brûlée.

It was a taro purée crème brûlée that Xie Yuanxing had wanted to eat for a long time but couldn’t bring himself to buy.

In Shen Bianye’s eyes, it wasn’t a gift, so he didn’t remember it.

After Xie Yuanxing left, Shen Bianye stood in front of that promotional sign for a long time, not understanding what could have made Xie Yuanxing so sad.

But he was certain Xie Yuanxing had cried. Although the tears were quickly wiped away, his eyes were red.

Why did you cry, Xie Yuanxing?

Shen Bianye silently asked Xie Yuanxing in his heart.

But no one answered.

The things that caused Xie Yuanxing pain and suffering should be gone now. The home that Xie Yuanxing had shouldered immense pressure to buy back was also back in his hands. Why was he still crying?

There was something Shen Bianye had never told anyone: he had seen Xie Yuanxing once, a long time ago.

He had just been diagnosed with pheromone disorder. Passing by a mall, he saw a youth palace holding an event and performance.

A still-childish Xie Yuanxing was playing the piano on stage. When he came down, many children surrounded him. He was beautiful, delicate, like a little peacock.

Shen Bianye was fifteen then. As he headed towards wilting, he saw Xie Yuanxing in full bloom.

It was just a fleeting encounter, perhaps because of his state of mind, but Shen Bianye hadn’t expected to recognize Xie Yuanxing when he saw him in the dorm.

He hadn’t expected Xie Yuanxing to have withered as well, becoming gloomy and silent, like a dark mushroom in a corner.

Shen Bianye felt a subtle, sympathetic sense of shared misery. That was the entire reason he first approached Xie Yuanxing.

His short lifespan was already set in stone and unchangeable, so he wanted to help Xie Yuanxing.

But now, Xie Yuanxing was still crying without reason.

He seemed to have brightened up a lot, wore brightly colored clothes, and talked to people. He no longer lowered his head and averted his gaze when looking at others, but inside, he was still decaying.

And…

Watching Xie Yuanxing’s retreating figure, Shen Bianye realized he was still alone.

He already had friends, so why didn’t he actively seek them out?

Why do you always make yourself so pathetic, baby?

Shen Bianye messaged Zhou Chao, saying, “He might really not be that happy. Why?”

“Would it be better if he were in a relationship?”

He remembered Xie Yuanxing being happy when he was in a relationship with X.

Shen Bianye stared at the unreplied chat interface, without the patience he showed Xie Yuanxing. He directly flash-called Zhou Chao, said two words, and hung up, “Speak up.”

Zhou Chao: “…”

“You want to see Xie Yuanxing in a relationship with someone else?”

Shen Bianye’s expression twisted.

“Well, it’s not impossible.”

Zhou Chao: “Keep being stubborn, and tomorrow Xie Yuanxing will be embraced and kissed by someone else.”

Shen Bianye’s expression twisted even more, a hint of fierce temper appearing on his handsome face.

Rarely having the upper hand with Shen Bianye, Zhou Chao typed and laughed gleefully, “Come on, keep talking.”

But he knew when to quit while he was ahead and said, “Has anyone ever liked Xie Yuanxing before? What was his reaction?”

Shen Bianye thought of someone he had long since relegated to a forgotten corner: Fang Zhi.

“No reaction.”

Zhou Chao: “There’s something I’m not sure if I’m right about. After everything Xie Yuanxing has been through, I feel like he’s not someone who’d be moved by shallow emotions.”

In other words, he liked intense, fervent, even pathological feelings.

Zhou Chao: “If you’re hoping someone having a relationship with Xie Yuanxing will make him happy, considering modern fast-food relationships…”

He mercilessly twisted the knife: “You probably won’t see it even after you’re dead.”

Shen Bianye: “…Then what do you suggest?”

Zhou Chao sent a voice message, earnestly advising, “If you like him that much, why don’t you just do it yourself?”

“Are you really that confident about him being with someone else?”

“And don’t worry about what happens to him after you die. Some people go through their entire lives without ever experiencing love.”

Shen Bianye was silent for a moment, then said, “But he probably doesn’t want to see me right now.”

Zhou Chao: “Weren’t you two dating perfectly fine online? Figure it out yourself.”

Shen Bianye hesitated internally, then said he’d think about it and put away his phone.

On Saturday, Xie Yuanxing returned to Z City, and Shen Bianye followed him there.

He stared at Xie Yuanxing’s somewhat forlorn expression, suddenly realizing that what Xie Yuanxing had always been chasing was a home, but what he received was merely a house.

Shen Bianye put on his iron muzzle, unsure if what he was doing was right.

He wanted to possess everything X possessed. Self-esteem and self-pity didn’t matter. What he couldn’t admit before, now that he had messed everything up, he felt a strange sense of composure.

It couldn’t get any worse.

Also, he didn’t want to see Xie Yuanxing cry anymore.

If he hadn’t seen Xie Yuanxing’s tears outside the dessert shop, Shen Bianye would never have appeared before him again.

He thought he had eliminated all sources of pain and pressure for Xie Yuanxing, only to find that Xie Yuanxing still cried.

No arguments with anyone, no injustices encountered, just sudden tears.

He didn’t understand why Xie Yuanxing was still crying.

But X could make Xie Yuanxing happy, so he would give Xie Yuanxing X.

As Xie Yuanxing finished clearing the trash from his desk and prepared to go downstairs to throw it away, he pushed open the door and saw someone squatting by his door.

A black iron muzzle like a snout guard was securely fastened over the person’s face. The muzzle wasn’t like iron bars, but had three elliptical, elongated openings for breathing.

However, those openings were very small, and the lower half of the face was completely blocked by the iron muzzle, hiding his appearance. Only a pair of eyes were exposed.

Deep-set eyes, dark and obscure.

Shen Bianye didn’t know when Xie Yuanxing would come out, which was why he was squatting there. But now, he simply stayed in that position, looking at Xie Yuanxing, and softly called out: “Baby.“

The voice changer made his voice very gentle, or perhaps he was speaking gently by nature.

Xie Yuanxing froze, staring at him blankly. The trash bag in his hand rustled as his grip tightened, then dropped to the floor with a soft thud.

“How could you…”

When he spoke, his voice was hoarse.

Shen Bianye reached for his hand. Xie Yuanxing trembled but didn’t pull away. “Baby, it’s me. It’s X.“

“Baby, are you unhappy lately? You’ve gotten thinner again.”

Before speaking, Shen Bianye was very nervous. He didn’t know how Xie Yuanxing would react, nor if his actions would cause Xie Yuanxing more distress.

But after taking Xie Yuanxing’s hand, Shen Bianye was certain: Xie Yuanxing wouldn’t refuse X.

The custom-made muzzle almost completely covered his face, so Xie Yuanxing could treat him as X.

Shen Bianye’s heart swelled with an uncontrollable, bitter ache, and his hands at his sides clenched.

He stood up and embraced the stunned, rigid person, gently saying, “Baby, why aren’t you speaking?”

The person in his arms suddenly tightened their hands on his back, clutching his clothes, and let out a sob, “I miss you so much.“

Shen Bianye froze, then slowly tightened his embrace.

Under the motion-sensor light, the two embraced almost indistinguishably. The tall man wore a dark, cold iron muzzle. He tilted his head slightly, fearing that the person in his arms might accidentally rub against him and get scratched.

Shen Bianye held Xie Yuanxing, gently patting his back, like coaxing a baby. “Don’t cry. You’re crying so pitifully, Xingxing baby.“

With one arm around Xie Yuanxing’s back, he scooped up Xie Yuanxing’s legs, carrying him halfway into the room.

The room light had been casually turned off by Xie Yuanxing when he opened the door.

Now, it was dark inside, with only a faint sliver of moonlight filtering through the slightly open curtains on the balcony.

But it was very weak, barely enough to illuminate the small patch of floor in front of the balcony.

This dim environment was exactly like every time Xie Yuanxing and X spent time together.

But Xie Yuanxing reached out and turned on the light. He looked into the eyes of the person before him, knowing this was X, and also knowing this was Shen Bianye.

The surging emotions, uncontrollable upon hearing X’s familiar voice calling him “baby,” had calmed significantly once he stepped inside.

He pulled back from the person in front of him, slowly creating distance between them, and asked, “Are you still going to play such games with me?“

“What excuse will you use this time?”

He questioned calmly, only his slightly reddened eyes betraying his turbulent emotions. “Your illness is cured. Many Omegas are sweet.”

“You don’t need to use the excuse of wanting to taste something sweet to play such games with me again.”

A trace of bitterness escaped Shen Bianye’s lips, but with the muzzle on, no one saw it. “No, baby.“

“It’s because I like you, baby, not because I want to taste something sweet.”

He knelt down in front of Xie Yuanxing, reached for Xie Yuanxing’s hand, and lowered his head slightly. The iron muzzle gently brushed Xie Yuanxing’s palm.

Carefully, as if fearing the cold, dark metal might scratch Xie Yuanxing.

He said, “I’m wearing a muzzle, so I can’t bite you, baby. There’s nothing sweet. You can treat me as a Beta.”

Shen Bianye smiled bitterly, admitting for the first time: “Perhaps wanting to taste something sweet was a lie.“

“It’s just that I like you, baby, I want to get close to you, I want to have contact with you. I couldn’t bear it, couldn’t control it, so I told myself I wanted to taste something sweet.”

He held Xie Yuanxing’s hand and touched Xie Yuanxing’s palm with the muzzle on his face. The iron muzzle blocked him, so no one knew that through the cold metal, he imagined it was a kiss.

“Baby, you’re by my side every day, smelling so good. I’m driven crazy with desire,” Shen Bianye said, lifting his head slightly, his eyes burning and obscure. “I even thought about secretly taking a bite when baby falls asleep.”

“But then I thought it might be impolite.”

Xie Yuanxing: …

Though ill-timed, he really wanted to ask, is that a matter of politeness?

Xie Yuanxing stared at him for a long time, then suddenly asked, “I actually knew you liked me.“

Shen Bianye froze, then heard Xie Yuanxing say, “Even earlier than you knew.“

Xie Yuanxing clearly felt that the hand holding his had become stiffer.

Shen Bianye was surprised, bewildered, and a little subtly embarrassed. “No way, baby.”

Xie Yuanxing’s lips curved, and he said firmly, “Yes.“

“It’s just that at first, I didn’t know if it was the result of you being affected by pheromones.”

Shen Bianye had also brainwashed himself with that at first, but now, he explained in a panic, “No, it has nothing to do with pheromones.”

“Baby, believe me.”

Before, he had vehemently claimed his feelings for Xie Yuanxing were due to pheromones. Now, in a panic, he was verbally explaining that none of this was because of pheromones.

It was because of love.

Shen Bianye had no idea how contradictory he sounded, still desperately trying to figure out how to explain it.

“After I fell for you, baby, I always used inhibitors. The influence of pheromones isn’t that strong on me.”

“Otherwise, all those inhibitors would have been for nothing, right?”

Xie Yuanxing looked at the person kneeling, anxiously explaining, and reached out to pull him up.

He didn’t like being belittled by Shen Bianye, and similarly, he wouldn’t look down on Shen Bianye after the situation reversed. “You should get up and sit down first.”

Shen Bianye was a little anxious, thinking Xie Yuanxing probably didn’t believe him and was getting angrier. He stubbornly refused to get up, “Baby, don’t be angry. Liking baby and wanting to be close to baby isn’t because of pheromones.”

Xie Yuanxing pursed his lips and lowered his face. “Will you sit or not?“

…Shen Bianye sat down.

Xie Yuanxing’s lips tightened further. Shen Bianye being so obedient made his ears flush slightly. “I know it’s not. X wore an information-blocking collar, right?”

It was also X who suggested he would wear the electroshock blocking collar, which was why he agreed to meet.

Shen Bianye realized, but under Xie Yuanxing’s gaze, he only knew how to nod.

Xie Yuanxing: “So, later, I always thought you just simply looked down on me for being a Beta, and also thought I was poor, so…”

“Baby! No, I didn’t look down on you, baby, never.” Shen Bianye’s eyes were anxious and flustered, unsure how to explain his past actions.

He had decided to appear before Xie Yuanxing in this way, having already planned to confess everything, putting aside his ridiculous pride. But when it came to actually speaking, it was hard to voice.

Admitting one’s own insecurity isn’t easy.

As X, everything was hidden in the dark. Anything could be said, without any qualms.

But now, Shen Bianye knew that even though he wore a muzzle that covered most of his face, he was still Shen Bianye, and Xie Yuanxing also knew he was Shen Bianye.

Every question being asked now was directed at Shen Bianye.

Xie Yuanxing shook his head, suddenly changing the subject and asking about something Shen Bianye hadn’t expected. “Zhou Chao said you got a tattoo. Where did you get it?”

He knew Shen Bianye liked him even before Shen Bianye himself did.

He was very puzzled, not understanding why the people who liked him were always like that. Shen Bianye demeaned him, belittled him. Although it wasn’t as harsh as what Xie Zhuowu said, belittling was still belittling, and contempt was still contempt.

So he really disliked Shen Bianye.

But X was different. X wouldn’t demean him, wouldn’t scold him, always praised him, always affirmed him, almost obsessively craving him.

So he liked X.

But just as Xie Yuanxing could discover the affection before Shen Bianye, the things Zhou Chao told Xie Yuanxing made Xie Yuanxing quickly realize.

Perhaps Shen Bianye was the one who was insecure.

How could one person have such two contradictory sides? So, one side must be false.

He didn’t press further because Xie Yuanxing knew it was difficult to admit those things—insecurity was difficult, and having one’s pride suppressed was also difficult.

Hearing Shen Bianye say “never” was enough.

Shen Bianye didn’t know why Xie Yuanxing had changed the subject so suddenly. Hearing about the tattoo, his whole body stiffened again.

He kept hypnotizing himself that he was X, then opened his mouth: “Does baby want to see it?“

Xie Yuanxing was a little curious. “Where did you get it?”

Shen Bianye pointed to the metal muzzle on his face. “You can only see it when this is off.”

Xie Yuanxing paused, then slowly said, “Never mind for now. I don’t want to see your face just yet.”

Shen Bianye’s face, hidden behind the dark muzzle, stiffened abruptly. A bitter smile touched his lips, unable to utter a single word of rebuttal. “It’s okay, baby. Just treat me as X.“

He didn’t need a name, or an appearance. Being X was enough.

Xie Yuanxing: “Do you remember me saying that the heart can’t express itself, so you have to use your mouth to speak?”

“That’s why I’ll ask you those things. If I don’t ask, I won’t know the answers, and I can’t interact with you normally.”

Shen Bianye’s eyes shimmered, his gaze on Xie Yuanxing growing hotter and hotter. Could he take this to mean he still had a chance?

Xie Yuanxing looked at X, and also at Shen Bianye. “I’m very grateful for your help, and I want to repay you as much as possible, but these things shouldn’t be within the realm of feelings.”

Shen Bianye’s expression grew bitter again. He spoke with difficulty, “I know, baby. It’s okay.”

Xie Yuanxing hummed. “If we’re going to be in a relationship, I can’t forget the things you said to me, so I’ll definitely get revenge on you.”

“If you accept that, we can be in a relationship after the revenge is over.”

In just one minute, Shen Bianye’s emotions went through extreme highs and lows, like bungee jumping from a great height, thinking he hadn’t worn a rope, but then, just before hitting rock bottom and dying, finding a safety net to catch him.

He couldn’t control himself, wanting to tightly embrace Xie Yuanxing.

But he was pushed away.

Xie Yuanxing looked at him, at his burning, scorching gaze, at the craving in his eyes, and slowly shook his head. “Before we’re in a relationship, no hugging.“

He blinked, and the tear mole beneath his eye seemed to sway with him, making him appear beautiful and delicate as he was reflected in Shen Bianye’s eyes.

Shen Bianye’s Adam’s apple bobbed. He wanted to get closer, but he was pinned in place by a single sentence, only able to constantly swallow to alleviate his anxiety. He nodded, his voice magnetic and hoarse: “Okay.“

“Baby, how do you want to get revenge on me? I can’t wait, baby.”

“Can I kiss you then, baby, like before, when we kissed in the dark?”

If he could kiss baby just by being revenged upon, how could there be such a good thing in the world? It was like manna from heaven.

Xie Yuanxing couldn’t switch so freely like him. The thought of Shen Bianye’s past words still made him dislike him intensely, yet he was also very reluctant to let go. He liked a part of Shen Bianye, and he also disliked a part of Shen Bianye.

So he just said blandly, “I’ll tell you when I’ve thought about it.“

He felt uncomfortable under Shen Bianye’s gaze. After sitting for a while, he was also very curious about what Shen Bianye had tattooed, and Zhou Chao, who had told him everything, was also curious.

After thinking about it, he still asked, “Can I see your tattoo?“

Shen Bianye chuckled softly. “Of course, baby.“

He turned his head, revealing a combination lock at the back. “Baby, help me open it. The code is three ones.“

Xie Yuanxing set the combination lock to three ones. Shen Bianye reached up and a click sounded, and the muzzle on his face was removed.

Shen Bianye looked at Xie Yuanxing, his gaze sticky and obsessive. He slowly extended the tip of his tongue, revealing the tattoo on it.

“It’s a mole, baby.“

“I had your tear mole tattooed on the tip of my tongue.“

Whoosh! Xie Yuanxing’s face flushed crimson like a ripe tomato.