ASPWL Ch110: Zhang Qiran x Song Zhehan

From childhood to adulthood, there was never a moment when Song Zhehan regretted as much as he did now.

Zhang Qiran sat on the bed, tears streaming down like broken beads. His swollen, red eyes looked at Song Zhehan as he choked out, “I… after seeing it, I fell ill. I don’t actually remember much from that time. The memories are so vague now… I don’t even know what happened after that day…”

“Don’t say anymore.” Song Zhehan’s heart throbbed painfully, so much that he interrupted Zhang Qiran.

But Zhang Qiran seemed not to have heard him, continuing, “I just remember that when I woke up, my mom had already come… After that, she took me away. For a long time, I lived every day in a daze… Song Zhehan, I…”

Once the floodgates opened, no matter how Song Zhehan tried to stop it, he couldn’t stop Zhang Qiran’s need to pour everything out. So he gave up and silently became a willing listener.

Tears blurred Zhang Qiran’s vision as he looked at Song Zhehan. He had thought about contacting Song Zhehan before, but at the time, he simply couldn’t.

Watching his father jump to his death had left too deep a scar. For a long time afterward, Xiang Yang—who had yet to change his name to Zhang Qiran—had even lost his voice.

Those memories were too painful to revisit. Even now, Xiang Yang avoided recalling them. He only remembered lying in a hospital bed for a long time, doctors and nurses pinning him down to administer injections daily.

He couldn’t even distinguish day from night. The only thing deeply etched in his memory was his mother—

That strong and beautiful woman who hadn’t shed a single tear even after divorcing his father—sobbing uncontrollably by his bedside.

Xiang Yang stared at her and thought of Song Zhehan.
He thought of what Song Zhehan had once told him—

“Xiang Yang is meant to grow toward the sun.”

Suddenly, Xiang Yang wanted to see Song Zhehan.
He wondered how Song Zhehan would comfort him if he knew, or whether he would still have the patience to console him when he saw such a pathetic version of himself.

Xiang Yang wanted to see Song Zhehan.

Even though he was already drowning in an endless ocean, even though he was utterly exhausted, he still struggled to grow upward.

Toward the surface of the sea, toward the sunlight, pressing forward relentlessly.

Until all the waves around him receded, and the glow of the setting sun bathed his whole body.

Xiang Yang succeeded.
But he had completely missed the morning sun.

It took him an entire year to recover.
But a year later, Xiang Yang could no longer contact Song Zhehan.

Song Zhehan had not only discarded his old phone number, but after finishing junior high, his family had moved away entirely.

Thus, not only could Xiang Yang not contact Song Zhehan, but he couldn’t even find him.

“Where did you go…” Zhang Qiran looked at him, his voice filled with grievance. “Were you mad at me even back then?”

Song Zhehan looked into his eyes, his heart feeling as if it were being pierced by countless needles. He almost couldn’t breathe.

Song Zhehan didn’t lie to him. He nodded slightly, “Mm, I was mad at you back then. After graduating from junior high, my parents got job transfers, so our whole family moved away…”

Zhang Qiran looked at him as if he understood the explanation but also didn’t. Shaking his head slightly, he whispered, “Actually, it’s all my fault… If only I had reached out to you sooner…”

But there were too many misunderstandings between them.
And Zhang Qiran had always been too timid.

Even a year ago when they reunited, if Zhang Qiran had been braver and told Song Zhehan who he was, wouldn’t they have avoided missing another year?

Zhang Qiran didn’t know.

Song Zhehan held Zhang Qiran’s hand, his other thumb brushing against the corner of Zhang Qiran’s eye to wipe away his tears. His heart ached terribly.

“It’s not your fault,” Song Zhehan said. “It’s not your fault; it’s mine…”

It was because Song Zhehan had been too petty, too reckless in his youth, always consumed by his own feelings, never considering Xiang Yang’s.

He had even learned from his mother back then about Xiang Yang’s father’s death. Why hadn’t he asked more questions?

If only he had asked more, maybe they could have reconnected sooner.

Song Zhehan had been wrong.
So very wrong.

Zhang Qiran seemed startled by Song Zhehan’s words. His eyes widened slightly in confusion as he looked at Song Zhehan. “You… why…”

Song Zhehan didn’t explain. He simply held Zhang Qiran’s hand and gently stroked it twice.

His throat was filled with bitterness, but more than that, it was filled with heartache.

Zhang Qiran, who wasn’t good at holding his liquor, had already exhausted himself after the commotion downstairs and a lengthy conversation with Song Zhehan. He couldn’t process anything too complicated anymore.

He thought for a while, but when he couldn’t figure it out, he closed his eyes.

Soon after—

Zhang Qiran fell asleep.

Song Zhehan sat quietly beside him, gazing at him intently.

After a long while, he stood, went to the fridge to get some ice, wrapped it in a towel, and placed it on Zhang Qiran’s swollen eyes.

There were still so many things Song Zhehan wanted to say, so many questions he wanted to ask.

But now that he knew what had happened on that day, those questions suddenly didn’t seem so important anymore.

Instead, Song Zhehan found himself consumed with guilt.

If he hadn’t so easily discarded that phone card back then, would everything be different now?

Song Zhehan didn’t know. He could only sit by Zhang Qiran’s bedside, carefully tending to him.

But drunks were never easy to care for.

In just one hour, Zhang Qiran had gotten up twice to use the bathroom and had even thrown up once inside.

Song Zhehan wanted him to take a shower before sleeping, but Zhang Qiran outright refused. Hugging Song Zhehan’s neck with a pitiful expression, he cried and asked if Song Zhehan hated him. He went on to say that if Song Zhehan really hated him, he would never appear in front of him again.

Song Zhehan was so entangled by him that he had no choice but to ask with a dark face, “Why are you still so fond of crying even as an adult?”

That comment did it. As if poking a hornet’s nest, Zhang Qiran instantly cried even harder.

Usually, Song Zhehan disliked tears the most, but whenever faced with Zhang Qiran’s tears, he would unconsciously back down. The coldness on his face softened, and Song Zhehan said gently, “Alright, alright, stop crying. I shouldn’t have said you were fond of crying.”

After much effort, Zhang Qiran finally stopped sobbing.

Song Zhehan looked at his swollen, unrecognizable eyes and his gaze fell on the spot under his left eye. Suddenly, he asked, “Where’s your tear mole?”

Zhang Qiran’s mind was a foggy mess. “Huh?”

Song Zhehan lightly touched the corner of his eye.

Only then did Zhang Qiran mumble, “My mom said… I cried too much, so she got it removed for me…”

Song Zhehan couldn’t help but chuckle softly.

Although Zhang Qiran was so sleepy that he could barely keep his eyes open, upon hearing the laughter, he forced his eyes open with great dissatisfaction and asked, “What are you laughing at?”

Of course, Song Zhehan was laughing because Zhang Qiran’s mother was right, but he couldn’t tell him that. Instead, he returned to his earlier question, “Do you want to take a shower?”

Zhang Qiran let out a heavy huff, shut his eyes again, and used his actions to refuse.

With no other choice, Song Zhehan could only help him wipe his face clean.

It wasn’t until Zhang Qiran’s agent and assistant rushed over that Song Zhehan was finally freed.

Before leaving the room, Zhang Qiran’s agent called out to him. The man looked slightly embarrassed as he stared at Song Zhehan for a moment before saying, “I hope you won’t stay angry at him. As for some of the conflicts with your team before, those were just misunderstandings. And about tonight’s incident…”

Song Zhehan interrupted him. “Ask him when he wakes up,” he said, pausing briefly before continuing, “If he wants to explain, I’m here and can cooperate.”

The agent froze for a moment, then nodded slightly. “Alright.”

Though both of them knew that what happened tonight was irreversible. Even if he wanted to explain, there wasn’t much that could be clarified.

Still, the fact that Song Zhehan had said that—

As the door closed, the assistant leaned closer and asked, “When has Song Zhehan ever been so easygoing?”

The agent exchanged a glance with the assistant, then both looked down at Zhang Qiran, who was lying on the bed.

“Who knows,” the agent said.

That night, Zhang Qiran didn’t cause any more trouble.

At five in the morning, when Song Zhehan stepped out of his room, he happened to bump into the agent and assistant, who were preparing to leave.

As they crossed paths, the agent hesitated for 0.01 seconds before decisively saying, “I left him some hangover medicine. Please remind him to take it when he wakes up.”

After a pause, as though afraid Song Zhehan might refuse, the agent added, “He has a low alcohol tolerance. If he doesn’t take the hangover medicine, he’ll have a headache all day.”

After being tormented by Zhang Qiran for most of the night, Song Zhehan hadn’t gotten much rest either. With faint dark circles under his eyes, his face looked far from pleasant.

But to the agent and assistant’s surprise, Song Zhehan gave a slight nod and actually agreed.

Even after leaving the villa, the assistant remained bewildered. He glanced at the sky, pondered for a moment, and then said to the agent, “The sun didn’t rise in the west today…”

The agent slapped him. “Be more respectful when you speak to him in the future!”

The assistant: “Huh?”

The agent instructed the driver to start the car.

It wasn’t until much later that the assistant suddenly realized something. He slapped his thigh and exclaimed, “They—wait, could it be that my boss has finally gotten what he wanted?!”

The agent gave him a look like he was an idiot. “If that’s not the case, do you think Song Zhehan would have spent the entire night taking care of a drunk like him?”

Song Zhehan, unaware that Zhang Qiran’s agent and assistant had started speculating, went back to his room, took a shower, and then went to check on Zhang Qiran.

At that moment, Zhang Qiran was curled up asleep, hugging the comforter, with only a fuzzy head sticking out.

As the door opened, a sliver of light crept through the gap. Zhang Qiran, sensing the intrusion, let out a dissatisfied grunt.

A faint smile flickered in Song Zhehan’s eyes. Without staying any longer, he turned and gently closed the door.

Song Zhehan had woken up early that day, and he had many matters to handle.

At seven in the morning, he first answered a call from his parents. Shortly after, a message from the agent came through.

Once all these tasks were dealt with, he also asked the agent to help investigate Zhang Qiran’s recent years.

On the other end of the line, the agent’s tone carried a deliberate hint of amusement. “What exactly do you want to investigate? His education? His connections? Or perhaps—” The agent deliberately drew out the words, “his love life?”

Song Zhehan felt a headache coming on but didn’t forget to mock, “If you could even dig up something that private, that would be excellent. But I suspect, with your network, such intimate details would be out of reach, wouldn’t they?”

The manager was so angry at him that she furiously shouted Song Zhehan’s name and hung up the phone.

Song Zhehan didn’t get upset. Taking advantage of the fact that the other guests weren’t up yet, he went back upstairs, checked on Zhang Qiran, and then went downstairs to help Zhou Zijian prepare breakfast.

However, what he didn’t expect was that by the time they finished breakfast and it was nearing noon, Zhang Qiran still hadn’t come downstairs.

Ye Leyao and his group, who always loved to stir things up, immediately gathered around and asked Song Zhehan if he wanted to go upstairs to wake Zhang Qiran.

Without lifting his head, Song Zhehan replied, “No.”

Though it had been nine years since they last met, Song Zhehan still remembered clearly that Xiang Yang was someone who valued his pride. After making such a scene last night in front of everyone, he would need some buffer time once he sobered up.

But waiting downstairs was torturous, especially with Xia Yang on the side, who forgot to wear headphones while gossiping.

In the end, Song Zhehan couldn’t hold back and found an excuse to stand up.

When he saw Qin Yao carrying a thermos, his brow furrowed slightly but quickly relaxed.

In all his life, Song Zhehan had rarely taken the initiative to care for anyone except when deliberately crafting an image. Looking back now, there was still a lot for him to learn.

When he went upstairs, he remembered that his purpose was to change clothes, so he entered his own room.  

Changing clothes didn’t take much time, but after finishing, he didn’t come out immediately.

It wasn’t until he heard a confused voice from outside the room: “Am I… sick? Or…?”

Song Zhehan’s brows immediately knitted together.

Zhang Qiran couldn’t possibly have forgotten everything after sobering up, right?

Feeling a sudden sense of urgency, Song Zhehan opened the door without thinking: “Do you not remember what you did last night?”

Their eyes met, and Song Zhehan suddenly realized that Zhang Qiran’s eyes were just like they had been in middle school—dark, shiny, and still very pretty, even though they were slightly swollen.

He watched as Zhang Qiran’s face changed dramatically, his eyes filling with panic and regret. The next second, Zhang Qiran’s face and neck turned bright red.

Seeing this transformation, the weight lifted from Song Zhehan’s heart, and he even felt a rare moment of amusement.

Back in middle school, every time he saw Xiang Yang like this, Song Zhehan couldn’t resist teasing him.  

Now, nine years later, the opportunity to do so had presented itself once again.

Even though Song Zhehan knew this might not be the best timing, he couldn’t help himself. He walked over to Zhang Qiran, admired his flushed ears, and teased him into adding him as a WeChat friend.

Seeing Zhang Qiran’s transferred 52,000, Song Zhehan’s lips quirked up slightly, though it was fleeting.

That was enough.

No more teasing.

Too much, and it might actually upset him.

Song Zhehan had always understood the importance of stopping at the right time.

So, he put away his phone and seamlessly left with the others.

But it was clear that this incident had left a big impact on Zhang Qiran. When he came out of the room, everyone heard him groan in frustration.

Though Song Zhehan found it funny, he didn’t show it on his face. His good mood lasted even longer when he saw Zhang Qiran wearing a large hat.

Knowing that Zhang Qiran probably didn’t want to talk to him, Song Zhehan didn’t force it. He’d always been patient when it came to Zhang Qiran.

It wasn’t until he managed to separate from Ye Leyao’s group, leaving only two cameramen around, that Song Zhehan called out, “Zhang Qiran.”

Zhang Qiran shuddered and instinctively quickened his pace.

But after a whole night of drinking, there was no way his stamina could compare to Song Zhehan’s. Song Zhehan barely exerted any effort before grabbing Zhang Qiran’s arm.

“What are you doing—”

Before Zhang Qiran could react, Song Zhehan pulled him by the arm down a small path.

The two cameramen following them were dumbfounded: “Mr. Song—”

By the time they caught up, the two were nowhere to be seen.

Still hungover and exhausted from running, Zhang Qiran panted heavily: “Song… Song Zhehan! What exactly are you trying to do?!”

Too tired to move, Zhang Qiran shook off Song Zhehan’s hand.

Slightly out of breath, Song Zhehan looked at him, then averted his gaze. “If we keep walking forward, there’s a cable car.”

He offered a simple explanation.

Zhang Qiran gave him a strange look, his ears turning red again for some reason. He gritted his teeth and said, “It’s not like I can’t climb up there.”

Song Zhehan turned back to look at him.

Zhang Qiran met his gaze.

The man’s face was sharply defined, no longer carrying the softness of youth, but his eyes were still the same.

Song Zhehan couldn’t help but wonder why he hadn’t recognized him earlier.

Xiang Yang had changed a lot, yet somehow, he hadn’t changed at all.

So, Song Zhehan turned away and slowly walked forward. “Fine. That’s me meddling unnecessarily. Go back then.”

Zhang Qiran was stunned. “What?”

Without turning around, Song Zhehan continued walking leisurely ahead. “You’re not going back?”

Annoyed, Zhang Qiran’s eyes reddened at the corners. He had long since taken off his mask and hat because of the heat, and his puffy eyes were even more noticeable against his pale skin. “No, Song Zhehan, do you think it’s fun to mess with me?”

“I’m not messing with you.” Song Zhehan stopped and turned around, his tone entirely serious.

Zhang Qiran glared at him with his reddened eyes.

Song Zhehan added, “Coming along?” Pausing for a moment, he asked again, “Or are you too embarrassed to face me after last night’s heartfelt confession?”

Not mentioning last night was one thing, but bringing it up made Zhang Qiran feel so mortified he wished he could disappear.

He stood there fuming, his expression full of both frustration and embarrassment.

Watching the myriad emotions play across Zhang Qiran’s face, Song Zhehan’s mood improved significantly.

So, he walked over to Zhang Qiran, and to his astonishment, he held his hand, saying, “Come on, just pretend you’re keeping me company on the cable car.”

Zhang Qiran stared at his retreating back in shock. It wasn’t until he felt a light brush of fingers against his palm that he suddenly realized what was happening.

Lowering his gaze, his eyes landed on their clasped hands. His mind went blank, and his face turned beet red.

He opened his mouth as if to say something, but no words came out. When he accidentally caught a glimpse of Song Zhehan’s subtly curved lips, he froze.

Just as Song Zhehan understood Zhang Qiran, Zhang Qiran, in turn, understood Song Zhehan very well.

He knew that Song Zhehan was sharp-tongued, held grudges, and was incredibly scheming. Once he had made up his mind about something, his attitude would never change.

That was why, when they had reunited a year ago and he heard Song Zhehan say that the guest he hated the most was him, Zhang Qiran had broken down and cried.

Despite this, Zhang Qiran had never been able to stop liking Song Zhehan.

It wasn’t just because Song Zhehan had once saved him, but also because Song Zhehan had supported him through the hardest year of his life. Liking Song Zhehan had become a habit for Zhang Qiran, and even though he knew Song Zhehan disliked him, it wasn’t something that could be easily changed.

That was why Zhang Qiran agreed to participate in the show. Although he suspected that Song Zhehan’s invitation might not be well-intentioned, Zhang Qiran still accepted.

But what Zhang Qiran hadn’t expected was for Song Zhehan to say that he hadn’t recognized him at first.

Their relationship was full of misunderstandings. Thankfully, the misunderstandings had all been cleared up the previous night.

Zhang Qiran was certainly angry, but when facing Song Zhehan, he couldn’t help but soften. But what about Song Zhehan? What was he thinking at this moment? Why had he suddenly taken his hand?

This morning, he had asked Zhang Qiran to compensate him for his clothes, and he hadn’t shown much concern for him at all. Why now, after all that, was he holding his hand to take a cable car?

Zhang Qiran’s mind was a mess. He couldn’t figure it out, nor did he dare to think about it. He just let Song Zhehan pull him into the cable car.

Only when the cable car slowly started, and their view opened up, did Zhang Qiran hear Song Zhehan’s voice: “Is your head still hurting?”

Zhang Qiran shook his head.

Song Zhehan hummed, his gaze drifting to the mountain forest outside.

Zhang Qiran waited for a long time but didn’t hear Song Zhehan speak again. Instead, their hands, still tightly clasped, grew hotter and hotter. The heat made Zhang Qiran’s face and ears turn red again.

Realizing this, Zhang Qiran couldn’t help but gently try to pull his hand back. But as soon as he moved, Song Zhehan suddenly turned his head.

Their gazes met, and Zhang Qiran’s lashes fluttered.

“What’s wrong?” Song Zhehan asked.

Zhang Qiran opened his mouth, but after a while, he weakly said, “It’s hot…” He still didn’t dare to ask, “Why are you holding my hand?”

Song Zhehan hummed again.

Zhang Qiran was stunned. Was that it? Just a hum?

He looked at Song Zhehan, confused.

Song Zhehan noticed his gaze and, after Zhang Qiran stared at him for a while, turned his head with a mischievous smile. “What are you looking at?”

Zhang Qiran, slightly choked by Song Zhehan’s confident attitude, stammered, “I… I wasn’t looking at you!”

Song Zhehan, with a teasing tone, said, “Then what were you looking at? Apart from me, isn’t there anyone else in the cable car?”

If they went on, it would be a ghost story.

The heat in their palms grew, and Zhang Qiran couldn’t take it anymore. His face turned completely red, and he hesitated to say, “Can you let go of my hand?”

Song Zhehan looked at his flushed face, his gaze slowly drifting down to their clasped hands. “You want me to let go?”

Zhang Qiran glared at him.

Song Zhehan suddenly chuckled lightly, looking up ahead. When the cable car arrived at its destination, he stood up first, letting go of Zhang Qiran’s hand. “If you wanted me to let go, you should have said it earlier. I thought you liked me holding your hand.”

The cable car door opened, and Song Zhehan stepped out first.

Hearing his words, Zhang Qiran instantly exploded. Thinking about his embarrassing actions the previous night, he shouted angrily, “When did I ever say I liked you holding my hand?!”

His voice was so loud that all the staff on site turned to look.

Song Zhehan reached out, grabbed Zhang Qiran’s arm, and pulled him out. With a slight smile on his lips, he said, “Isn’t it you who said you liked me?”

“Wow—”

The crowd burst into teasing laughter.

Zhang Qiran’s face turned completely red once more.