TBR CH75

Chapter 75: Death of a Believer

The Holy Son of the Holy See had defected, the old Pope had died, and the one who controlled people’s destinies had changed from one to another. But some people’s lives remained unchanged, like withered grass forgotten in a corner of history.

Being forgotten was not enough to destroy the soul. Bart walked slowly in the cold darkness before dawn, dragging his crippled right leg. He paused for a moment when he passed the temple. The old man’s pupils were turbid, showing no emotion.

Being forgotten by God was enough to destroy his everything.

The omniscient God of Light had finally noticed the Holy Son’s betrayal. A little hope had finally re-emerged in Father Bart’s silent and desperate soul, like a faint flame, rekindling in the old man’s reed-thin body. He longed for that candle to be relit, yet felt a deep shame for the judgment of God “making a mistake” that lay behind this thought.

He was the evidence of the God of Light’s mistake.

How a god treated his devout believer, how he harmed his body, took away his abilities, and destroyed his soul. In the end, if the god decided to compensate this mortal, it would be tantamount to admitting the grave mistake he had made.

After that day, for one day, two days, he still held onto hope. As more time passed, that hope suddenly faded, like salt dissolving in water, leaving only a faint taste of saltiness and bitterness. Bart opened his eyes in the middle of the night. Old age made his spine ache against the hard bed planks. He stared with open eyes, trying to see clearly:

Was he really a man of grave sins, not because of Noah, but because of other things? Was that why he had suffered such a cruel punishment?

He could only think this way. A pious person should not doubt any of God’s decisions. Faith was like a square, dark little box, tightly confining him within, making his eyes blind to other possibilities.

However, at this very moment, the wooden boards sealing the window seemed to have loosened slightly.

With his turbid human eyes, he saw sounds flowing in. The sounds he had been deprived of, that he could no longer make, were now silently prying open his pale hair, gently drilling into his ears, whispering ominously and darkly, and then, with an irrefutable tone, questioning an old man’s soul:

Had his god forgotten, or was he unwilling to admit it?

Noah kept his body as straight as possible, walking cautiously on the edge of the city. The night was dark. He was afraid of bumping into people, yet he had to pull his hood down to shield his vision, covering most of his ulcerated face.

Adelaide’s prop had lost its effect. The pendant that could travel through space had used up its last bit of energy. Noah hesitated for a moment, but still put it away. The youth was reluctant to part with the sparkling night-luminescent pearl and emerald on it. At least they could still be sold for a good price.

It wasn’t just that prop.

His face had already started to rot, but it had been treated with healing medicine brought by Adelaide from the dragon race, so it was not yet obvious. But now, the effect of the medicine had worn off. His flesh was constantly swollen, emitting an unbearable stench. In severe areas, necrotic pieces were almost about to fall off.

Noah dared not look in the mirror, nor at any reflective surface. But he soon didn’t have to worry about this, because he began to feel his vision being eroded again. Huge black spots replaced what he could see. The only prop he could continue to use allowed him to make sounds without using his vocal cords.

This “sound” referred to everything that could be emitted. If one got close to this faceless person in a black robe, they might hear hair-raising groans coming from under the all-encompassing robe.

What to do?

Noah knew that Adelaide was foolish and credulous, and Edward was blind and had his concerns. So they were both objects he could seek help from. But these two paths were already blocked. And he did not think he could successfully deceive the Dark Elf King. Just the thought of the price of angering him made Noah shiver.

If he saw his ugly appearance, or if his betrayal was known, his paranoid and hard-to-control perfectionist ex-lover would definitely not care about old feelings. He would personally destroy him as a disgraceful past.

Avoiding the people of the Church of Light, avoiding Edwin—who knew which side he was on now?—avoiding the eyes and ears of the dark elves, the youth’s last teleportation destination was the most remote area of the capital. Even wild dogs were unwilling to enter those dark and deep alleys. There were people in strange clothes and with strange appearances everywhere. Some of them were as unsettling as Noah.

Noah stayed as far away from everyone as possible.

He had tried to beg others for shelter before, but once people saw the skin exposed under his mask, they showed looks of horror and disgust, avoiding him like the plague.

The only person who tried to help him was a kind old woman. She had a pair of gentle green eyes, stopped beside him, and endured the physiological reaction of nausea to ask him if he needed help.

However, when she looked into the former Holy Son’s eyes, the old woman took two steps back in horror, suddenly showing an unprecedented coldness: “You… you are the Holy Son who betrayed the great God of Light. Get lost! There is no place for you in my residence. May your filthy soul fall into the fires of hell soon!”

Noah had never experienced such a situation—no, actually he had. In the dark and damp black alley, he hid himself by leaning against the cold stone wall, shivering all over from the cold and pain. Compared to the physical pain, the mental pain was obviously more unbearable. He had always been used to being high above, never caring about the lives of those mediocre people. Yet the scenes now unintentionally coincided with the scenes from his past life.

In his past life, when he was imprisoned, he had seen an old woman. The old woman’s child had been swindled out of a huge sum of money by Noah and had guiltily cut his wrist in despair. That sum of money was only one or two days’ expenses for Noah.

The old woman had meticulously combed silver hair, spoke gently to the police officer who was detaining him, and appeared kind and polite. But when she finally stood in front of Noah, two lines of desperate and hateful tears suddenly rolled down her eyes. She began to lose her composure, at first just scolding him sternly, then she was practically roaring with her life. A frail body could actually produce such a powerful sound of hatred.

The old woman’s back bent little by little, but Noah, in front of her, suddenly felt for the first time that he had become so small.

Besides this old woman, many other victims’ families later learned of his arrest. He at that time was just like now, deeply loathed and rejected by everyone.

But, starting over, how could he have walked a similar path?

The youth’s sharp nails dug deep into his flesh. He forced himself to stop these thoughts. At least it was not the end yet. In his past life, the bullet that had ended his life had entered his forehead with an irreversible force, bringing death. What he feared most, was most afraid of, and could not accept the most was death.

Survive.

Although his past self had cried and apologized profusely in court, insincerely seeking forgiveness, those emotions were ultimately out of self-interest, not sincerity. Being scolded or hated by the victims could not make him feel uneasy for long. He had even thought at the time that he might be able to find a loophole in the law and not be sentenced to death.

People were so foolish and easy to control.

As long as he was alive, he could definitely find another chance—

He almost felt a little hope. In this situation, what was most needed were those beautiful imaginations.

That’s right, he had already hidden in the most remote part of the capital. Even the most perfect defense must have its loopholes. Noah had heard that in the depths of the black market, there were people who did things for money, responsible for helping the wanted criminals of the Holy See hide. He was not short of money. As long as there was a chance to leave here, the future was not necessarily a sea of darkness.

The youth’s rotting face under the hood twisted hideously, barely managing a semblance of a smile. As long as he successfully escaped, he could sell the priceless gems on Adelaide’s magic treasure, accumulate a large fortune, and use it to find powerful evil creatures, perhaps to some extent blocking the curse of the Light.

Imagination was so intoxicating.

So he almost didn’t hear the ghostly footsteps. The footsteps were like a shadow, returning to the youth’s side after a short rest. Very close. Noah held his breath, completely merging himself into a shadow, not daring to make a single sound.

But the footsteps unhesitatingly walked in his direction.

Tap, tap. Tap, tap.

Fear and despair completely engulfed Noah. He trembled, unable to move, his fingers touching the blade at his waist, but stiff and unable to bend, only able to touch the cold back of the blade. It was impossible to resist. No matter if the person coming was a knight of the Holy See, or that completely inscrutable Great Archbishop Edwin, or the men Ansir had sent to find him, he had no power to fight back.

The footsteps got closer and closer, almost sounding right next to his ear.

Strangely, the footsteps did not sound like a healthy adult, but like the light sound of hollowed-out wood knocking against each other, and they were one light and one heavy, like an uncoordinated concerto. Noah’s hand trembled, finally fumbling for the hilt of the blade.

Then he raised his eyes. In that instant, he was like a deflated balloon. His tense body suddenly relaxed, and he almost let out a sigh of satisfaction. As expected, heaven still favored him and did not intend for him to die here.

The person in front of him was not… not one of those fatal beings that could kill him.

Standing opposite him was a mute priest, his hair graying, his right leg half-lame. Old age had already taken away most of his life force. His turbid eyes shifted slightly, reflecting Noah, who was drawing his blade in front of him. He did not pose a threat in the general sense. Even if he was some trouble, when Noah had left the Holy See, the old priest’s physical condition was so bad that even a child could push him over.

Everyone knew that the God of Light had not withdrawn his decree.

“Do you want to punish me?” Noah raised the glittering blade. The wild joy of surviving a disaster made his frozen blood flow again. He suddenly felt he had the power to control everything again, at least in front of this annoying old thing. “Just because I betrayed the god you hold so dear? Haha, did you know, I have enjoyed all of His favor, much more than you could ever see in a lifetime. And you? Look at your current appearance. Your faith is just a worthless thing.”

In the alley where even the moonlight could not reach, there would be no second visitor.

Father Bart stood still, letting the狰狞-faced Noah approach him step by step. With the youth’s movement, his hood fell off, revealing that incomparably ugly face. The blade was pointing down, clamoring to regain the joy of domination through a blood sacrifice. Noah was about to stab down.

At that moment, he heard a voice.

“I am not seeking revenge for Him,” Father Bart’s voice sounded clearly in the alley. It was a voice that had been deprived by God for so long, stern and low, which should never have appeared in the world again. He chuckled self-mockingly in a low voice, “Perhaps it could be said to be for Him. This old bag of bones is about to pass away. It’s a bit of a stretch to say it’s for myself anymore.”

The moment the voice sounded, Noah paused the downward-stabbing tip of his blade out of surprise, then reacted and used all his strength to try to send the blade into Bart’s neck. But the blade was firmly fixed in the air. No matter how hard he tried, he could not move it down even a millimeter.

The premonition of imminent disaster finally hit Noah’s head, dull and heavy.

Impossible. No matter what, he would not believe that he had not fallen into the hands of those great figures, but had just stumbled at the hands of a trivial, ridiculous old priest whom he looked down on.

His glorious life, the great cause he had not yet begun…

He had to live. He was more valuable than others. Everything was so deserved.

The youth’s head was twisted and swollen, but his final expression was frozen in extreme fear and disbelief at the arrival of death. His eyes bulged outwards, as if desperately asking, “What went wrong?” Anyone who saw this face could feel the immense pain and shock the owner of the face had suffered in the last moments of his life.

If the prison guard who had collected his body in his past life could see such a corpse, he would surely exclaim in amazement that the contorted expression of this dead person was exactly the same as a certain notorious fraudster he had executed.

Father Bart lowered the weapon in his hand. The narrow space enclosed by the walls at the entrance of the alley revealed only a small patch of sky. The night sky here was so gloomy that most of the stars could not be seen. Only the North Star still cast its silver light, prepared for lost travelers, in that small, dark patch of black sky.

The old man raised his head and finally let out a long-held turbid breath.

What he saw was no longer the god he believed in, but the eternal starlight.

The Holy Son’s head was a sacrifice the God of Light urgently wanted. Although He had initially only wanted to torture Noah and punish him, He soon discovered that things were out of His control. Only death was the best end for this insatiable liar.

The problem was that the people He could command were not doing a very good job of searching for Noah. What’s more, the Holy See was not a monolithic block at this time. Most people just followed the orders of Great Archbishop Edwin, and the god could do nothing about this mortal.

If this continued, the God of Light’s authority would be greatly diminished.

Just then, his eyes and ears in the mortal world heard that a devout old believer had killed Noah before anyone else.

This news made the god happy. He couldn’t wait to accept this glorious sacrifice and decided to reward this priest handsomely, bestowing power upon him, so that the world could also see the God of Light punishing evil and promoting good. Even in between, He had heard some less optimistic remarks, reminding Him that this old priest was actually the person He had punished back then because of Noah’s words.

The god was not too worried.

His believer should naturally, no matter how he was treated, maintain his reverence and dedication to God. The previous punishment was harmless. As long as He compensated him generously this time and publicly announced that the other had made up for his mistakes with merits, he would surely satisfy the believer’s grateful heart, and His reputation would not be tarnished.

The God of Light sat high on his transcendent divine throne, but waited for a piece of news that made Him incredulous.

The supposedly devout believer had offered the former Holy Son’s head to Great Archbishop Edwin, instead of choosing to offer it to Him.

The furious god descended upon the old priest’s dilapidated residence. Thunder and lightning instantly illuminated the entire room like a snow cave. The terrible wrath of God exploded in the priest’s ears. The god’s divine pressure overwhelmingly pressed down on this ungrateful mortal. Bart’s face was pale. He knelt before the god he had piously believed in his whole life, prostrating his priest’s body as he had countless times before.

But the thunderbolt of God’s wrath silently dissipated when it touched him.

Even the old priest was a little surprised by this. The God of Light, however, undoubtedly recognized where this unfathomable power that countered His own came from. It was the power of the Dark God, Tarksius. This dark power had already eroded His believer, causing Him to suffer another painful and humiliating betrayal.

“You are an apostate,” the God of Light gritted his teeth. His words, wrapped in thick anger, fell on Bart, once again unanswerably determining a terrible crime for the old man who was wearing the robe of the Church of Light and bowing his head before Him. “Betraying the Light and choosing the Darkness, this is the kind of act that only the most despicable priest would do. Your soul has already completely fallen into the bottomless hell.”

No human would be indifferent when reprimanded so by a god.

Bart knelt on the cold ground, suddenly wanting to hold his crucifix. Unfortunately, he had already been deprived of his faith by the god and could no longer wear any blessed items related to the God of Light. In his life, the Light had always appeared with holiness and justice. He had firmly, resolutely, and without hesitation believed in the god, rejoicing in receiving the god’s bestowed power, and feeling grateful for working for the god.

He had fantasized countless times about the god speaking to him, but never like this.

The god he believed in was narrow-minded and credulous, cruel in his methods, and unwilling to see his own mistakes. The faith he had held for a lifetime was a complete joke. If anyone in the world read his story, they would lament his ignorance. The scene before him was the most ironic comedy, and he was the clown in it.

At this time, if he wasn’t crying in despair, he should be feeling nihilistic about his own life and wallowing in self-pity, so pained that he wished to end his life immediately, to get away from that ridiculous faith.

But he was not willing to do so. Father Bart just knelt up straight, his etiquette before the God of Light without a single flaw. He calmly told the furious god, “I have not committed apostasy.”

“Haven’t you already joined the Dark God’s church?” the God of Light’s voice buzzed in his head, with a hint of mockery. “What did he promise you, to make you willing to go to a new church with nothing? Supreme power, or countless riches and honors, or a prolonged life?”

“No, none of that,” the old priest shook his head, but his turbid eyes shone with a bright light. “I told you, I have not committed apostasy, even if I do not think you are a god worthy of faith.”

“If not for Tarksius’s protection,” the God of Light’s voice was cold to the point of cruelty, “I would have retaliated against you with the most terrible punishment.”

“So I say, you are not a god worthy of faith. And I am not afraid to say so. I won’t live much longer. But, until my death, I am still a member of the Holy See. You tried to strip me of my identity. I have doubted myself countless times. Finally, the answer is before you and me…”

“I just made a deal with the Pope and refused his invitation,” Bart continued, not even waiting for the God of Light to react. “Laugh at me. I am just a ridiculously old-fashioned priest who can only swear loyalty to one faith in his life. Faith is the greatest meaning of my life. Faith makes me feel heart-wrenching pain for your shortsightedness and narrow-mindedness, yet I have to fulfill the duty of a priest until the very end.”

“You mean,” the God of Light asked suspiciously, “you are really still loyal to me, have not betrayed me? After you did those things, how could I possibly believe you?”

“After you did those things, how could I possibly believe in you?” Bart modified the sentence and offered it back to the God of Light, looking thoughtfully at the god’s golden pupils. At this moment, he felt so free, so at ease. When he looked back, he felt he had no regrets about his life. “I hate Noah, but more, I hate an apostate, and not for myself. Faith has been carved into my marrow, inseparable from me, so I would rather borrow power to kill the person who betrayed you. I think, I am no longer pious to you, but I will be pious to my faith, and am willing to die for it.”

“This is contradictory and meaningless,” the god said.

“It is not,” the priest finally said so. The remaining power in his body blocked the God of Light’s attack, but he could clearly feel the power of life draining away bit by bit. He was old enough, old enough to die, living on borrowed time with only a desire for the final result. But now, it was time to extinguish the fire. “My god, I know you will never be able to understand. It’s okay. In the future, countless apostates will appear before your eyes. This world will be completely changed. Let my death be the final curtain of this era.”

He finally murmured something. The God of Light listened carefully, but realized it was a prayer from the Church of Light: “…One should always remember, always believe firmly, never betray. That is the life a priest should have.”

In the new calendar year 427, Pope Edwin committed apostasy.

His betrayal was not met with the God of Light’s terrible retaliation. On the contrary, behind him, the name of the new god was gradually recited among the names of humans. Overnight, people realized the world around them was changing. Edwin took away a large group of people from the Holy See. The remaining priests were left without a leader. For a time, the wings of the Church of Light were mostly broken.

And the royal family had to be like sheep without a leader, urgently needing to choose a side. Of course, for them, it didn’t matter who they believed in. Edwin still took them all under his wing.

“The God of Light must be furious,” Tar stood behind Edwin and glanced through the roster in front of him. “He had been looking forward to you leaving quickly, but he never expected you to take away so many believers.”

“They had no choice back then, just like me, so…” Edwin paused, raised his head, and reached out to pull the demon’s sleeve. Tar let out a soft “Aiya” as if he had been caught. That pair of clear, ruby-colored eyes reflected the new Great Archbishop of the Dark Church. He bent down to listen to him speak, or to wait for the action he was about to make.

Edwin finished his sentence. “I’m really glad I met you. If not for this, I would have definitely been destroyed.”

“I don’t think so,” the demon’s soft, raven-feather-like hair poked the Bishop’s neck bit by bit. Edwin pursed his lips, trying to maintain his reason, at least until he finished speaking. Tar said a little seriously, “You would have gotten everything you wanted, even without me. I guarantee you could have done it.”

Those difficult, bitter paths, from the struggle of bloodline to power, even without him, Tar believed that with Edwin’s ability, he would not have been defeated. He could definitely have carved a bloody path through the thorns, step by step towards the highest point of power in the mortal world.

“But…” Before Edwin could finish his sentence, Tar leaned close enough and kissed his earlobe. Edwin almost bit his own lip. The conservative and ascetic Lord Bishop, as seen by outsiders, would still be at a loss like a young man because of a lover’s kiss.

Now was not the time to continue arguing.

The Bishop swallowed the second half of his sentence. He closed his eyes, eagerly seeking his lover’s kiss, but he knew clearly in his heart that if it weren’t for Tar, even if all his ambitions could be realized, he would definitely be destroyed. There was an unfilled place in Edwin’s heart, white bones with flesh torn open to reveal the heart in his dreams, a soul that would burn to ashes at the touch of a spark.

Then one day they all grew roses.

He tightened his grip on the rose in his hand, knowing he was saved.

After a short moment of intimacy, the Bishop calmed his breathing a little. The complex materials in front of him had to be dealt with in these one or two days, but the work was not as heavy on him as before. This was just because… his god was planning a small trip with him in two days.

Edwin flipped through the roster. The god, on the side, with great interest, randomly pulled out a few materials to look at. He suddenly saw the somewhat familiar name again: “Bart…”

The name was crossed out with a black line. Tar said, “I remember he came to see you.”

“Mmm,” Edwin said. “He just came to borrow power and promised a powerful repayment. I lent him Adelaide’s tracking magic treasure. Actually, I find it quite a pity—”

“He didn’t plan to betray the Church of Light?” The Bishop was a leader, so he naturally felt regret at losing a potential talent. But on that morning, even the dawn had not soaked through the deep purple curtains. The old priest had sat opposite him for a long time, then, half sighing and half sneering, said to him, and also to himself, “Isn’t it ridiculous?”

Bart’s eyes stared intently at a point on the table, not because he wanted to see anything, but just to find a direction to anchor himself. For the first time, he softened his tone in front of this young man he had always disliked. “I don’t even know what the point of this faith is anymore. It’s both stupid and ridiculous. But I can’t give it up. It’s an irreplaceable part of my life. In the end, my life has no meaning.”

Loyal, firm, kind, without obstruction, without doubt, strictly abiding by the system of the church, teaching young apprentices, reciting every scripture, performing impeccably in ceremonies, willing to dedicate everything for God…

Edwin’s light gray eyes reflected the old man’s turbid pupils. He took a light breath and said to him, “Father Bart, even if God is not worthy of you doing so, this faith of yours itself has an undeniable power. Perhaps meaning should not be sought externally, but internally. In fact, there are not many people in the Holy See I truly respect, and you are undoubtedly a respectable person. You cannot come to my side, which I regret, but I respect your decision.”

His words had an incredible effect on the old priest.

Bart once again straightened his spine as before. The old man’s turbid gaze flickered with a complex light. He looked at the Bishop before him, a person destined to betray the Holy See, and he himself was seeking his help. In the end, he still sighed helplessly. “You too. I have always believed that you are a very remarkable young man. It’s just that at that time…”

The old man’s words dissipated into the air.

He finally stood up, leaning on the table, and walked out with a limp. He walked towards the fate he had chosen for himself, yet did not feel ashamed. Because in his entire life, he had never done anything to betray his faith.

This was his life, illuminated by the Light.

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