TBR CH60

Chapter 60: Sincerity

Even though he had agreed to Tar, under the honey-colored lights of the tavern, Edwin looked at the demon before him and for a moment only felt his throat was very dry. He didn’t know what to ask, so he had to take another small sip of honey mead.

The atmosphere was just right; it should be a gradual process.

“I’ll ask first,” Tar said. “Let’s agree in advance, if you’re unwilling to answer, you have to drink, until one of us gets drunk.”

The Bishop nodded. This was simply the most absurd thing in his life. A few months ago, he could never have imagined himself sitting in a messy little tavern, raising a glass with a low-level demon.

Tar smiled at him, his ruby-like eyes tinged with a warm glow. “Let’s start with a simple question—”

“Do you know why I was in a bad mood this morning?”

Edwin was stunned. He hadn’t expected this to be brought up again. In an instant, the thoughts from earlier swept over him again. The demon had been telling him about things he had experienced, such a vast and magnificent world, and he had always been distracted, unable to keep up with Tar’s rhythm.

Anyone would be unhappy if they found the person they were talking to was inattentive.

“I…” Edwin paused. A slight burning pain in his little finger seemed to remind him to be more cautious with his answer, so the words changed shape on his tongue at the last moment. “Sorry, I was too greedy.”

The demon before him was silent for a moment, just like the wine in his glass. Tar was clearly also a little surprised by his answer, but he didn’t immediately reveal the truth, just waited for him to explain the meaning of “greedy.”

“It’s just…” Admitting his thoughts was not an easy matter. The Bishop spoke very slowly. “Those places you mentioned, I really want to see them. However, Tar, I’m just a human. If I leave the Church, I will lose all the authority I hold. And that is something I absolutely cannot lose. I admit I chase power and fame, to such an extent—I think this counts as greedy, but I don’t intend to change.”

The demon took a small sip of absinthe, deep green and bitter, with a high alcohol content.

Then he said, “Do you think I was angry because of your ambition? You’re wrong. I knew you would think that.”

He had given the wrong answer again.

Edwin sometimes felt that all his thoughts were laid bare in Tar’s eyes. Being seen through completely was not a good thing. He tried to open his mouth, but couldn’t think of what to say. Tar reached out and pushed the honey mead towards him, meaning for him to accept the punishment.

The tavern’s glasses were very large. This was completely different from casually taking a sip to wet one’s throat.

The Bishop reached out and took the glass. The smooth, brown liquid hissed and swirled in the glass. Only then did he realize that drinking half a glass of wine at once was not an easy matter. He would probably have to treat this game more cautiously. In any case, the liquid slid down his throat, and a rich warmth spread little by little up his chest.

After watching him finish the drink, Tar revealed the truth. “I was angry not because you were too greedy, Edwin.” The demon reached up to straighten his hair. The soft black strands looked like satin under the light, making one want to reach out and touch them. “It’s because you’re not greedy enough, that’s why you feel you need to make a choice.”

“…What?”

“I remember I said a long time ago, ‘You are a very remarkable human.’ The point of that sentence is not the latter half, do you understand? You are used to restraining yourself with this identity of a human. But, Edwin, very few humans can reach your current height on their own, and there has never been a human who has sat in the position of Bishop as a succubus.”

“Don’t restrain yourself with your human identity. Your ambition can be even greater,” the demon told the human, almost coaxingly. “I’m not asking you to give up anything. But, why not think about it? Becoming the only Pope to travel the capital, a lie sufficient to deceive a god. It sounds very heretical, but it’s not necessarily more difficult than what you are doing now.”

After a silence of about two minutes, Edwin spoke, his voice very hoarse, as if alcohol had already flowed through his veins. “Do you think I can do it?”

Even Edwin had never thought that freedom and power were an eternal choice for him. There were things in this world that ultimately had to be given up. He thought his ambition was too great, so he couldn’t choose other things he wanted. This was originally very fair. It wasn’t until the demon said it that he realized how unwilling he was.

The demon tilted his head slightly, looking at him as if he found it very interesting. “Edwin, before you decided to walk to the pinnacle of power, did you ever ask anyone this question?”

No, of course not.

Asking the wrong question meant another penalty drink. Edwin swallowed the amber liquid. The liquid was sweet and light, expanding in his chest like his greed.

The Bishop knew what Tar meant. He determined his own destiny; he didn’t need to be swayed by anyone’s evaluation. What he was doing was already heretical enough and would basically not be understood by anyone in the world.

Edwin also didn’t need understanding. He acted willfully. It was a terrible arrogance, and now he wanted more.

Tar knew him better than Edwin had imagined.

However, the Bishop had to be very careful not to let this greed be exposed. He asked the demon not because he was very hesitant, nor because he lacked affirmation. It was just because he very much wanted to hear the other tell him personally: “I believe you can.”

The Bishop did not fall into confusion because of his own words. Tar clearly saw his gaze become firm little by little. This human, regarded as special by the God, still did not disappoint his expectations. The God residing in the demon’s body finally began to feel pleased.

Edwin’s expression in the morning was a bit unlike him, and it was this unlikeness that was the reason for his disappointment.

Edwin had the most dazzling soul Tarksius had ever seen, so he should not be bound by any worldly shackles. He deserved to have power, which didn’t mean he had to give up freedom at the same time. Since he wanted it, he shouldn’t pronounce a death sentence on his own destiny in advance.

Even if he would be shattered to pieces upon failure.

The God did not miss the greed burning in the human’s eyes. He saw his own shadow in the scorching soul.

The beautiful demon curled his lips and smiled at the mortal Bishop. He knew the things the human before him wanted included himself. Strangely, this matter did not make the God feel repulsed.

“Alright, Edwin,” he said softly. “It’s your turn to ask the next question.”

Edwin had originally wanted to pick an easy question as an opener.

He hesitated for a moment, quietly looking at the demon sitting opposite him. The environment affects people. For example, in such an environment, with the noisy crowd and fragrant air, one can’t help but relax. This comfort was reflected in Tar. The demon slightly narrowed his jewel-like eyes, cut a piece of roasted meat, put it in his mouth, and then licked the fork.

“Have you ever been… by those people who were hunting you…” The Bishop thought about how to make his words more tactful, but he had already asked the question before he could think of a good enough way. “I don’t know if you’re willing to tell me, but, Tar, have you ever been locked up somewhere?”

It was a very surprising question.

The demon’s movements froze. This incredibly made everything around him also slow down in Edwin’s eyes. Tar leaned closer to him, lightly dropping the knife and fork in his hand, like a wary beast facing a sufficiently threatening prey. It would not be surprising if he reached out and choked him in the next second.

Edwin thought so, but the demon did not do that.

Tar was very smart. A low-level demon versus the great archbishop of the Church of Light—the outcome was still clear at a glance. Not to mention there was a contract.

“What makes you think so?”

Tar was close enough, and the table was too narrow, almost nose to nose. The demon was so confused, demanding an answer.

“I don’t know.”

This time, Edwin chose to be honest. “Maybe sometimes, your eyes, for example when I close the door every morning. And then this morning, you were looking at the demon seed in the container. It made me subconsciously feel…”

“Feel that I sympathize with it?”

“No, you don’t.”

This time Edwin made his judgment very decisively, then his tone softened. “But it reminded you of something not so pleasant. I guess that’s it.”

The demon was silent for a short while. The bubbles in the honey mead swirled on the surface of the glass and then melted one by one. Then Tar confirmed again, “Do you want to know who was hunting me, or if I have had past experiences I don’t want to mention?”

How sharp—Edwin had only asked the latter question, but he had also wanted to indirectly get clues to the former. The Bishop had secretly sent people to investigate information about the demon Tar. Logically, having been active in the world should leave traces, not to mention the demon had provided many places he had visited.

However, the result was nothing.

Cleaner than snow, as if there had never been a demon named Tar in the world.

“I want to ask both.”

The Bishop confessed, “But that depends on what you want to tell me.”

“I won’t answer the first question,” the demon gave him a bit of expectation with some malice, but did not deliver, continuing to keep his secret. “That’s worth half a glass of absinthe. I have no objection.”

He reached out and brought the glass to his lips. The liquid was bitter and spicy, but the demon’s expression did not change at all. The high concentration of alcohol was no problem for him at all.

The Bishop didn’t even have time to feel regret. He had guessed this result.

“But,” when Tar’s lips left the transparent glass, he shook the deep green liquid in the glass at him. This green color would make one think of deeply buried secrets. “Edwin, you guessed right, so I don’t think there’s any need to hide it. Indeed, I was once locked up somewhere, for quite a long time. That is definitely a very hateful memory.”

“I’m sorry.”

Edwin basically said this subconsciously. Tar’s last sentence was bitten out lightly and slowly, with a slight little hook, making it hard to tell if he really cared, or if it was a deliberately coquettish tone. Either way, the Bishop could not resist.

“You don’t need to apologize,” the glass was placed on the table with a crisp sound. The demon looked at him. “It’s been a long time. But, the feeling of being locked up is really, really terrible. In a space you can’t escape from, you can’t even count the days. And, you can’t leave on your own, nor can you wait for someone from the outside to save you.”

Edwin had no experience in comforting people. At this moment, he desperately wanted to do something. Tar’s tone was light, almost nonchalant, as if telling someone else’s story.

But, it wasn’t like that. Just thinking that Tar had once been trapped somewhere, in pain and despair, the Bishop felt his own heart tighten abnormally, as if gripped by a pair of hands. He opened his mouth, wanting to stop Tar from continuing.

“Not really,” but Tar continued, thoughtfully. “I think I was still a little too stupid. You know, Bishop. Although I say this now, it’s because I know the ending. In fact, until the very end, I still held onto a sliver of the most baseless hope, thinking someone would come to save me.”

No one. Edwin read the ending from the demon’s eyes.

He racked his brains trying to find something to comfort him, but felt that all comfort was powerless. The demon’s red eyes trembled slightly before him. A spicy desire filled his blood.

If only I had been there then, the Bishop thought. If I had had the chance to save him, I would definitely not have let him down.

And Tar looked at his expression, as if amused by his clumsy thoughts. He soothingly leaned over and stroked Edwin’s hair. “It’s okay. It’s been a long time. You don’t have to mind.”

Then, the demon’s hand was caught by Edwin. He was surprised to realize he couldn’t easily pull away. The Bishop bent his knees slightly, so that he could cross the narrow table, with enough space—to hug him.

It was just like being taught a problem by a student he had taught himself.

Edwin hugged the demon opposite him. Tar was trapped in the Bishop’s embrace, a little incredulous. Just now, what was hidden deep in his eyes was not sadness, but a deep mockery of himself. The Bishop’s hug was light and hard. He was not a soft human, but it was warm enough.

“I’m sorry.”

Tar heard Edwin speak in his ear. “I… shouldn’t have brought this up. But, it’s not your fault. Wanting to be saved is not a stupid thing. If it were me—”

The second half of the sentence was very quiet.

There was no resistance at all. The demon completely and proactively accepted this hug. He buried his head in the other’s neck. Not in a transformation period, Edwin had no scent. The Bishop’s temperament was cold and clean.

Even in a quiet corner, Tar heard a drunken guest whistle at them from a certain direction.

Edwin had used Light magic to disguise them. They didn’t have to worry about being recognized.

So no one cared.

“It won’t happen again.”

The second half of Edwin’s sentence was very soft, but Tar heard every word clearly. “You are mine. You are mine. I won’t let this happen again. I will save you. No matter who wants to take you away, or lock you up, I will definitely take you away.”

Both stubborn and willful.

The Bishop believed he could do it, which was why he made the promise. He would certainly think so. This human was about to ascend to the high position of Pope of the Church of Light, and had just been nurtured with greater ambition. He did not know that the demon he swore to protect was a high and mighty God, whose power was endless.

Truth was Tar’s suggestion, but even the God couldn’t have imagined the situation would develop like this.

“Do you like me to this extent?” The demon nuzzled the Bishop’s cool, black curly hair. His voice was a little muffled because it was pressed so low. This barely counted as a question.

“I do.”

Edwin said softly without thinking, as if catching an agile dove prone to flying away. If he had been even a second later, he probably wouldn’t have said this sentence so easily.

“If I said I didn’t want to stay with you anymore, would you forcibly keep me?” Tar continued to press, asking in his ear.

The Bishop fell silent.

Tar knew he was in a dilemma. Indeed, humans are such contradictory creatures. Wishes and wishes will collide with each other. The Bishop would absolutely not let go, tightly gripping the thing in his hand. He carefully checked the lock on his room door every morning. The formation with the forbidden spell was running stably at all times.

“You have to tell the truth,” Tar reminded, but this was just a verbal promise, with no practical effect. Unless the person hugging him was moved by the words, his voice was like a sigh:

“I would…,” Edwin pursed his lips, a storm brewing silently in his gray eyes. “I would give you enough remuneration. You must stay by my side.”

He had guessed it.

This time, Tar was a little helpless, but he couldn’t be too harsh.

Perhaps it was because the human’s words just now were too moving, touching the God’s true core a little. This was still not a qualified transaction, but at least in this situation, there was no need to refuse.

This answer was still too hard, so the person who gave the answer was a little uneasy. He didn’t know if he should let go of the demon’s hand after he had so resolutely said “the other must stay by his side.”

Then, his hand was gently held down by Tar. The demon slightly broke free from his shackles and placed a kiss on his forehead.

The Bishop’s pupils dilated slightly.

“I hope you can afford the price. I can’t guarantee I won’t change my mind.”

A demon has a long lifespan. Staying by a human’s side doesn’t take up too much time. Offering up all precious things for companionship in a transaction sounds very foolish, but Edwin thought, he couldn’t find a better deal.

He obediently drank the last half glass of honey mead at the demon’s behest. Tar didn’t explain the reason, but his answer was indeed not very good and deserved to be punished.

“Tar,” the Bishop couldn’t help but say. The tavern was a hotbed. Here, all exaggerated and wanton thoughts grew wildly. “You are free. And what you said before was right. So, I want to make a pact with you.”

“Hmm?”

The demon finally sat back properly. They had been too intimate just now. The tavern was a semi-private occasion. This all could almost be called a proper date.

At this time, Edwin’s glass was empty, and he had no intention of asking the waiter for a refill. The Bishop did not intend to let himself get truly drunk.

There was still half a glass of wine in Tar’s glass. The demon tilted his head and looked at Edwin, a questioning look in his eyes.

“The meteor shower on the Dragon’s Ridge you mentioned this morning,” the unbelievably bright thought made the Bishop’s mouth feel a little dry. The spot on his forehead where he had just been kissed was still burning a little. “I will see it with my own eyes, so—at that time, will you be by my side?”

Tar smiled. He was very beautiful when he smiled. “Alright.”

Edwin knew he should have stopped there, but at this moment, hearing the answer, he realized that a certain part of his heart was filled with a sharp dissatisfaction. It was another question, touching upon the deepest, most secret core, which seemed unsuitable to be spoken at this moment.

But, but, perhaps,

“Tar, do you love me?”

He asked cautiously, like a traveler craving water reaching out to touch the oasis before him, trying to determine that it was not an ethereal mirage. Love is not a necessity. The Bishop knew that the minimum he needed was just companionship, but he craved it, hoped for it. Unknowingly, this strange desire had filled his entire heart.

He almost regretted it as soon as he asked.

The little demon with black hair and red pupils was right in front of him. He reached out and took the glass before him. The deep green liquid swayed. Words of jealousy, the Bishop thought. The original sin of humanity is this thick green, from the desire for the unknown.

“I can’t answer that question.”

Tar’s pupils moved slightly, looking at him, frank and without any evasion. Then, he downed the liquid in his hand, curled his lips, and held out his hand to Edwin. “I’m sorry. Maybe one day I can give you an answer, Edwin. Not today, but in exchange, your performance today pleased me very much. I want to give you a wish.”

“…A wish?”

“Today is your birthday.”

The demon placed his hand over the Bishop’s. It was dry and soft, as if he were handing something to him, and he didn’t miss Edwin’s astonished look. “I knew you wouldn’t remember—even though that man who likes to shout nonsense said it in public. Bloodline of course doesn’t matter, but birth is worth celebrating. All in all, my dear Bishop, happy birthday.”

Edwin took a short breath. He hesitated, not knowing how to react.

Birthday.

This was a completely strange word to him. As an abandoned orphan, he neither knew when his birthday was, nor would anyone celebrate it for him. Now, he cared even less about his origins, no longer paying attention to a meaningless date.

“Thank you, but… a wish?”

The Bishop managed to get these words out, probably able to express his question. The demon before him looked as if he had everything under control. He turned his head slightly and snapped his fingers. About a minute later, a new dish was served to their table, or rather, a small piece of cake.

“This is not this tavern’s specialty,” the demon shrugged. “It’s a cake made from an apple pie. The owner said this is the most they can do. But they are good at baking apple pies, so you can still have expectations.”

Cutting open the cake, the steaming hot apple filling flowed out, mixed with the aroma of cinnamon, sweet and charming.

And the Tar opposite him was much sweeter than this.

“I couldn’t think of a suitable birthday gift.”

The demon gently scratched the back of his hand. Edwin tried not to look too surprised, but everything before him was really beyond his imagination. This was all so beautiful it was like a fantasy. He could only barely maintain his attention to listen to Tar speak. “So, a wish. As long as I can do it, of course, it can’t be too difficult, I will try my best to help you achieve it. This is your birthday gift. I hope it doesn’t seem too perfunctory.”

The cake was sweet and soft.

Edwin began to think about the wish. The surprise had suddenly fallen upon him. He had never dared to pray that he would be lucky enough, and this was undoubtedly the best, the gift he wanted most.

“No need to rush to make a wish.”

The demon’s smile deepened. He raised a finger to his lips in a shushing gesture. The cross-section of the cake glittered under the amber light. “Bishop, the night is still long—and there’s no need to rush tonight either. I mean, if there’s anything else you want to do, I think we can still do a lot of things.”

The memories that followed were sweet and hazy, like stepping into one fantasy after another. The demon was by his side, within his reach, patient and gentle, until the very end, he didn’t even have time to make that wish.

Until the very end, his breathing was unsteady.

Tar spoke in his ear, every word engraved on his soul. It was not something lost and found again, but the only time in his life he had ever received it.

He felt he would never forget it. It touched his heart as lightly as a feather.

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