UCTOOT CH1

“The Bodhi Verse says: ‘May the reader be blessed.’

Behind the Jianan Temple, in the abandoned courtyard hidden deep within the mountain hollow, weeds grew waist-high. The beams and plaques were riddled with decay from insect infestation, and the dilapidated doors swung open and shut in the cold midnight wind.

A creaking sound, like fingernails scraping glass, echoed faintly.

Shi Shu entered, holding a stack of yellow paper in his left hand and a coil of hemp rope in his right. Familiar with the place, he made his way directly to the Buddha altar.

On the unswept incense table, Buddhist banners fluttered. The Buddha’s hand was webbed with cobwebs, and a faded half-sheet of mounted paper swayed like a ghostly shadow.

In the dead of night, under the silent heavens, beneath the Bodhisattva’s seat, the Buddha statue’s compassionate face smiled serenely at all who beheld it.

“Ah…”

A faint, drawn-out sigh.

Shi Shu set down the stack of yellow paper and picked up the coil of rope. The thin moonlight illuminated his deep and refined features. His eyes glimmered faintly, and his fair fingers were speckled with mud.

“The hour has come. They say that when someone hangs themselves, their cervical vertebra snaps, their eyeballs bulge, and their tongue sticks out of their mouth… the corpse looks quite horrifying.”

“So, to die or not to die—that is the question.”

“…”

About three months ago.

Eighteen-year-old college student Shi Shu woke up in his dorm bed, expecting the familiar sound of his alarm clock to send him rushing to the lecture hall. Instead, he found himself wearing a scratchy linen outfit, standing barefoot in a paddy field. The cool morning water lapped at his skin, and tiny fish nibbled at his toes.

Startled by the sensation, Shi Shu shivered violently, his sleepiness vanishing completely.

In front of him, an old yellow ox chewed cud, its mouth moving slowly and blankly, as it stared in confusion at the stranger standing in its paddy field.

…Shi Shu had transmigrated to a completely unfamiliar dynasty. Over the past three months, he had tried jumping into a river—only to realize he could swim and ended up sobbing while paddling back to shore.

He had also planned out several other methods of suicide—but only in theory.

His scalp itched, and the water was too cold.

For the past month, Shi Shu had been coming to this temple every night, making two preparations.

First, to commit suicide—maybe that would send him back home.

Second…

Shi Shu tightened the coarse rope, raised it, and mimed how it would look hanging around his neck. His mind conjured terrifying scenes from crime thrillers, with descriptions of bulging eyes, protruding tongues, and the stench of death stirring eerie gusts of wind.

“…”

“Let me make this clear—I’m not afraid of dying! But dying like this? Isn’t it a bit… impulsive?”

Maybe… just maybe… Shi Shu glanced outside to confirm no one was following him. Then, his knees buckled involuntarily, and he knelt on the prayer mat.

The second plan, of course, was to pray!

“I’m begging you, Bodhisattva, please…”

Shi Shu’s voice choked with emotion. “I never wanted to transmigrate! Please, merciful Guanyin Bodhisattva, let me go home! I’m begging you! I’ll kowtow to you!”

The Buddha altar remained silent.

“F*ck!” Shi Shu finally snapped. “Can’t you just let me go back? Can’t you? Why? Why did I transmigrate?”

Why!

And as a commoner, no less! If he had transmigrated into the body of an emperor, a regent, or a great general, he might have accepted it (and even enjoyed it). But instead, he became a penniless outcast in a beginner’s village!

“Do you know how I’ve survived these past three months? Just to be accepted by the local villagers and have something to eat!” Shi Shu’s voice echoed through the temple hall. “I had to work as a long-term laborer in the manor, cutting pig grass, feeding cattle, herding cows, collecting eggs, grazing sheep, and even cleaning chicken poop!”

“I didn’t do anything wrong in my previous life, did I? I’ve been reflecting for three months! I was a good student, helpful to others, followed the Five Virtues and Four Beauties, and loved my country. I just got into college and thought I’d finally enjoy life—what did I do to deserve this suffering?”

“A college student turned primitive savage!”

“Hey, you, say something!”

“Why won’t you speak?”
“You know you’re guilty, don’t you!!!” Shi Shu raged.

—But only silence answered him.

He could transmigrate, but there were no ghosts, no systems. After half a month of praying at this temple, Shi Shu had long expected this result.

“…I’m tired. I’m going home to sleep.” Shi Shu stood up, patted the dust off his knees, and turned around—only to see two shadows peeking in from the doorway.

They stared at him with a horrified expression, clearly having witnessed his entire process of praying to the Buddha.

Shi Shu: ?

Shi Shu: “……………………”

“Da Zhu-ge, I told you, this Xiao Shu may be handsome—so handsome that you’d need a lantern to find someone as good-looking in ten neighboring villages—but ever since he mysteriously came to our village, he’s been sneaking off to that haunted temple where someone hanged themselves. And at midnight, no less! Muttering nonsense to himself. It’s downright creepy…”

“Look at him talking to himself—it’s like he’s possessed by a ghost!”

“Don’t talk nonsense. There are no ghosts or spirits. He’s probably just some runaway young master with a mental illness.”

When Shi Shu turned around, the two quickly covered their mouths.

“…It’s so late, Xiao Shu. We saw you rush into the temple earlier and then head straight for the back mountain. We got worried, so we came to check. We didn’t interrupt anything, did we?”

“You didn’t,” Shi Shu replied.

“But I’m not mentally ill.”

Who are they calling crazy?

…Wait a second. Shi Shu suddenly caught onto something—”a runaway young master with a mental illness”?

Could it be that I’ve transmigrated into a fake-young-master novel?

—And I’m the fake young master in a wealthy family!

If I just hold on a little longer, maybe my rich biological parents will show up to take me home to enjoy a life of luxury!

That must be it! Hahaha…

“…”

Before he could indulge further in his daydream, Shi Shu was dragged down the mountain, an arm slung over his shoulder.

“The night air is damp and bone-chilling. Stay too long, and your body will ache. Xiao Shu, if there’s nothing urgent, let’s head back early. Take Second Aunt, the tofu seller—she got soaked when she was young, and now she suffers from rheumatism in her old age,” Er Niu-ge said kindly.

“Besides, tomorrow morning, the temple’s front courtyard will be sealed off. The Prince Liang’s heir is visiting, and the monks are scrambling to clear the area. If they catch us, there’ll be trouble.”

“The Prince Liang’s heir?” Shi Shu paused.

“Yeah, the heir who calls himself a Qingyi cultivator in the Eastern Capital. He’s always looking for immortals, visiting Daoist temples, and praying at Buddhist shrines. He comes here often, and when he does, the land can’t be farmed, and we have to avoid him. I’ve got two acres of corn waiting to be harvested, and if it rains tomorrow, they’ll get moldy. If that happens, I don’t know what we’ll eat next year.”

Shi Shu’s thoughts, which had just been focused on hanging himself, shifted to processing this world’s reality.

This was a truly oppressive ancient society.

When royalty traveled, commoners had to retreat.

Since arriving, Shi Shu had tried analyzing this world with his middle school history knowledge.

This was the Great Jing dynasty, in the Eastern Capital region, Baihe County, Zhoujia Village.

It was a traditional agrarian economy. Some people owned land, while others lived as tenant farmers under wealthy landlords, earning barely enough to survive on a couple of steamed buns and a few bowls of thin porridge.

Recently, there had been unrest in the northern borderlands, causing many refugees to flee south. Otherwise, with the strict household registration system of the Great Jing, Shi Shu, as an undocumented individual, would likely have been arrested and conscripted.

…

In the first few days after transmigrating, Shi Shu hadn’t ruled out the idea of following the typical transmigration novel trope: engaging in political intrigue, building power, and maybe even becoming an emperor!

—Until he was ordered around like a spinning top by the Zhou family’s Third Young Master, a plain-looking and obnoxious man in his forties.

Shi Shu had finally understood that reality could douse even the wildest ambitions with cold water.

An ordinary man with the power to feed him could make him stand silently against a wall after being scolded. It was hard to imagine how much more corrupting true power could be!

“We’re here, Xiao Shu.”

Er Niu comforted him, “Go get some sleep. There’s a mountain of farmwork waiting for us tomorrow.”

At the end of the dew-covered path, the outline of a rural village emerged under the moonlight.

Blue bricks and white tiles, bamboo fences and thatched cottages. White egrets skimmed over verdant rice paddies. Occasionally, a dog barked, lending the scene an air of idyllic seclusion.

It was already midnight. The world was silent, with every household’s doors tightly shut as they rested. In the distance, the rhythmic clanging of the watchman’s gong marked the passing of time.

The dewy air carried a faint earthy smell, like a mist moistening Shi Shu’s dry lungs.

“Actually…”

As Shi Shu was about to close his door, he heard Er Niu hesitate.

“Tonight, it was the Third Young Master who couldn’t stop worrying and sent us to check on you. He said you’ve been going to the temple late at night—is it because you’re homesick or something? If you’re feeling troubled, just tell us. We’ll help you work through it.”

“My troubles aren’t something ordinary people can solve,” Shi Shu replied, catching onto a key point. “The Third Young Master?”

“Of course. He may seem hard to get along with, but he’s genuinely concerned about you. Whenever you’re fetching water, feeding the sheep, or collecting eggs, he always checks on you. He even praises your good looks and says he’ll make sure you live a good life with him in the future.”

“…”

The Third Young Master’s face floated into Shi Shu’s mind.
A sallow, sickly man reeking of powder, speaking as though he might breathe his last at any moment. Sharp-tongued and fond of berating others, Shi Shu’s impression of him was anything but favorable.

And this young master wanted him to “live a good life with him”?

A thought flashed through Shi Shu’s mind like lightning: Is he gay?!

Damn it!

No way!

Shi Shu: “Sorry, I’ll have to decline.”

Steel-hearted Shi Shu immediately threw the topic aside, bid farewell, and entered the courtyard at the back door of the Zhou residence. He pushed open a door to find:

An old table, a wooden bed, a cotton quilt, and a bare room only a few steps wide.

This was all Shi Shu had to his name in this ancient world—a far cry from his previous life as a carefree young master, now reduced to a farmhand.

The village was nice, but without friends or family, it wasn’t a place to stay long-term.

Who wouldn’t go mad in such a situation? Shi Shu praying to the gods was already a testament to his emotional stability!
And as for that haunted temple—if a ghost dared show up, it would get slapped twice by him!

Grumbling to himself, Shi Shu drifted into sleep.

At the crack of dawn, thunderous shouting erupted outside his door:

“Still sleeping, you pigs? Get up and work!”

“The roosters have crowed three times already! If you don’t get the corn harvested while it’s still cool, the heat later will make it impossible, and you’ll be peeling your sunburned skin off!”

Startled awake, Shi Shu scrambled out of bed. Standing outside was the short and stout Third Young Master, dressed in silk, hands on his hips like a compass.

“Still sleeping? Do you think I’m feeding you for free? You, you, you, and you—get up now!”

“Do you even know what time it is? A bunch of lazy good-for-nothings! If it weren’t for us taking you in, you’d be dead in the streets like the starving refugees all over the Great Jing! Hah!”

The tenant farmers and servants of Zhou Family Village scurried around like ants on a hot pan. They hurriedly got dressed under the Third Young Master’s relentless scolding and were chased out the door.

Half-asleep, Shi Shu splashed cold water on his face, rubbing his pale skin until it turned red from the heat. He suddenly felt a gaze on his back.

The Third Young Master was staring at him, his tone softening.
“What’s with the way you’re dressed?”

Shi Shu: “?”

“Who are you trying to seduce? Tie your pants properly! Don’t let me catch you like this again!”

Shi Shu: “…………”

He glanced at the man, hesitating to speak.

No, seriously, what’s wrong with you ancient gay men?!

Author’s Note:

Shi Shu: “Not only did I transmigrate, but now I’m being ogled by gay men. Tragic, tragic, tragic.”

Xie Wuchi (yet to appear): “Where’s my wife?” (gets shot—)

I can’t imagine how Shi Xiaoshu will manage to climb into Xie Wuchi’s bed in the future (hands behind back).

Warnings: The seme has a se-xual addiction but is both physically and emotionally clean—just into playful fun.